Queen Mary took her responsibilities as Queen very seriously. "You are a member of the British Royal Family. We are never tired, and we all love hospitals," she once reminded her granddaughter, the future Queen Elizabeth II, I believe. That mantra of duty above self and of showing enthusiasm for the most mundane of tasks or people has been followed by her successors Queens Elizabeth the Queen Mother and Camilla with perhaps only minor modifications. Her one-time potential successor Diana, Princess of Wales as well as the current Princess of Wales, the former Catherine Middleton, continued or continue that custom.
The late Diana's daughter-in-law Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, however, decided that she was tired and did not like hospitals. For whatever reason, be it a lack of privacy, an abundance of racism, or a combination thereof, she along with her husband Prince Henry, Duke of Sussex, decided to "step back" as working members of the Royal Family. Their first efforts to be "half-in, half-out", where they could take on some royal duties while pursuing outside commercial ventures, was shut down flat. Since "Megxit", she and Prince Harry have inked several lucrative deals for podcasts and Netflix productions. Their first podcast, Archetypes, had 12 episodes and lasted one year. Their first Netflix production, Harry & Meghan, was about themselves.
Now comes their fifth Netflix production, With Love, Meghan, where Meghan Markle (or Meghan Sussex, depending on whom you ask) transforms into a domestic doyenne duchess, offering her insights into creating an elegant and joyful lifestyle. Having seen all eight episodes of the first of an eventual sixteen (a second set already filmed and scheduled to be released later this year), With Love, Meghan is an awe-inspiring vision of one wealthy woman's journey to the center of attention.
Each With Love, Meghan episode has a set pattern. Over nice Carolina shag music, the Duchess of Sussex tells her film crew who is coming to visit her rented home, what she will be doing to make them feel welcome and go over what they will be doing with or for her to match the theme of whatever she has decided. It will end with her and her guest enjoying the fruits of their labor while they heap lavish praise on our domestic goddess and relatable gal pal.
After finishing With Love, Meghan, for better or worse, I was reminded of another royal wife, though probably not the one Meghan, Duchess of Sussex would want comparisons to. Queen Marie Antoinette built a small retreat at Versailles, where she allegedly dressed up as a simple milkmaid and pretended to be a peasant girl, the Ancien Regime version of cosplay. With Love, Meghan similarly came across as this former actress turned royal pretending to be a domestic-minded woman who wants only to bring joy to the lives of average people (there is a lot of mention of joy in the series).
It is strange that the more Meghan attempts to come across as relatable and endearing, the end result is the opposite. She comes across as plastic, desperate even, for affirmation, validation and de facto worship. She is not fishing for compliments. She is throwing grenades into the river to have the fish blasted out of the water.
The endless praise that her guests heap on her is almost shocking in its garishness and vanity. Some of the things that her guests tell her go past cringe to downright looney. Mindy Kaling has gotten the most press for this, and her statements in Episode Two (Welcome to the Party) did lay it on thick. "When I received that in the mail, a box of your preserves, it was probably one of the most glamorous moments in my life". Any person who thinks that receiving a box of preserves from someone that you may or may not barely know is "one of the most glamorous moments" in their life has led a remarkably boring life.
Kaling also had one of the most viral moments from With Love, Meghan, where she remarks to Meghan, "I don't think anyone in the world knows that Meghan Markle has eaten Jack in the Box and loves it". That statement alone in and of itself is bizarre, as if the concept of an American going to a fast-food place is such a rarity. If it had been Anne, Princess Royal driving up to a Jack in the Box and chowing down on it, then the shock and surprise of it all would have made sense. But for Meghan Markle?
That led to a surprisingly passive-aggressive moment between these lifelong chums when Meghan, in a voice that blended sweetness with barely contained anger, expressed surprise that she kept calling her Markle when it was Sussex now. This is a curious thing to get hung up on as for years after her wedding, people called her "Meghan Markle" without incident in the same way that the Duchess of Windsor was and is still called "Wallis Simpson" and the Princess of Wales is called "Catherine Middleton", though to be fair less frequently now.
The subject of her surname is open to debate. Less interesting than what her last name is, is the Duchess' reaction. There was an edge to her response, a curious defensiveness that was surprisingly hostile. For someone who is attempting to showcase her hosting skills, Meghan Markle or Sussex or Mountbatten-Windsor or Saxe-Coburg-Gotha for all we know, to all but snap at her guest over something that you have never brought up publicly is so bizarre, but it is revelatory. It suggests that for all the efforts to be graceful and elegant, there is a level of entitlement that you expect from others, even friends.
The Princess Margaret, Countess of Snowdon, had a similar mindset. She could be down-to-earth and pleasant, almost chummy with others, until you dared called her "Margaret". At that point, she would instantly remind you that she was a King's daughter and the Queen's sister and insist that you pay her the proper reverence. Her circle took to calling her "Ma'am, Darling" in a mix of deference and mockery. The difference between Margaret and Meghan is that while Margaret was born royal, Meghan merely married into it.
As a side note, I think both Anne and Margaret would loath and be enraged at being compared to Meghan, but I digress.
Delfi tells her, "I enjoyed this morning's hike because I saw you being you. And I love that. I love when you are doing your thing, and yeah. I absolutely, I'm obsessed with that face of Meghan. So happy". I think Indians thanked Gandhi less enthusiastically for leading the end of the Raj than Delfi did for Meghan making sun tea and having her make bread.
That may be one of the most surprising things in With Love, Meghan. Markle tells us how she prepared certain dishes and drinks prior to her guests' arrival. However, once they arrive, she also has them essentially make the meal almost as if they were caterers. I figure that Markle thinks this is all fun for her guests, a nice group project where everyone can delight in making a gourmet taco bar while having girl-talk and giggles.
I come at this from a very different viewpoint. My late mother also loved entertaining. I firmly believe that if she had seen With Love, Meghan, she would be aghast and appalled that any hostess would make her guests do any cooking or cleaning up. Mom was adamant that as the hostess, it was her exclusive responsibility to see that the guests were served and that they were not to lift a finger in preparing any aspect of the gathering. This extended to any offers from guests to help, offers that were kindly but firmly declined. Mom would have made all the arrangements, had all the food prepared, and seen to it that her guests enjoyed the event. She would have been horrified at the sight of making lifelong friends make beeswax candles or horror of horrors, cook their own meals in her kitchen.
As a side note, Mom would also have been horrified by the sight of any woman walking around the kitchen barefoot, though to be fair she would have approved of seeing the Duchess of Sussex dress impeccably to be on television. Mom might have wondered why she was dressed so elegantly to cook, but at least she would think that if you knew you were going to be on television, you should look your absolute best.
Almost all the guests gush about Meghan to Meghan, praising her skills to where it transcends hyperbole and slips into farce. Even some of the professional chefs (the only ones whom Markel, or Sussex, or who knows now defers to on With Love, Meghan) seem a bit too enthusiastic about being in her presence. One, maybe two of the chefs think that what they whipped up in the rented kitchen would make for a good dish at said chef's restaurant. If memory serves correctly, only Chef Ramon Velasquez from Episode Six (The Juice is Worth the Squeeze) seems nonchalant about being in her presence, treating her as an eager student versus the more downhome Martha Stewart with a noble title to her name (whatever her name may be). To be fair, chef Alice Waters from Episode Eight (Feels Like Home) seems more perplexed than worshipful at the goings-on around her.
I am reminded of what someone once said about T.E. Lawrence when I think of With Love, Meghan. Like Lawrence of Arabia, Meghan (Markle/Sussex) has a way of backing into the limelight. As tawdry as the previous American-born divorcee who married a British Prince of the Realm might have been, Wallis Simpson (or Windsor if we apply Meghan's methodology) would never be so garish as to be hawking jam and prattling on about making beeswax candles to a television audience. She may have literally cavorted with Nazis, but you'd never see the Duchess of Windsor hosting Wallis' Workshop.
Overall, I think Markle's training as an actress is actually a major hinderance in With Love, Meghan for two reasons. The first is that the audience can never fully shake off the idea that all this is a performance. There is throughout all eight episodes something a bit off-putting, dare I say fake about the entire production. I am not bothered that Markle did not use her actual home. I actually think it makes sense. However, I do not understand why she wants her friends and family to trudge up to a rented house and essentially pretend that they are not performing for the camera. What was intended as a kind of eavesdropping in The Juice is Worth the Squeeze when the girls are playing mah-jongg ends up looking like four people trying to figure out what to do around each other.
Secondly, Markle never looks at the audience. Sometimes she does not appear to even look at her guests. Instead, most of the time she looks at her director, Michael Steed, and speak to him. I think her acting training to not look into the camera prevents there being any connection between herself and her viewing audience.
Liberace back on his 1950's television series knew enough to look directly into the camera and even literally wink at the audience. He understood that there needed to be an intimacy between host and audience, even if it was artificial. Meghan, however, never looked at anyone outside her immediate presence, like Steed or sometimes her guests. As such, we lost a sense that Meghan actually wanted us there. Perhaps they wanted a "fly on the wall" manner to With Love, Meghan. However, that to me makes for a strange way to invite people to learn all your various entertaining tips and tricks.
Ultimately With Love, Meghan is boring and elitist. The Duchess' efforts to come across as friendly, casual and relatable end up making her look like Election's Tracy Flick. I imagine that With Love, Meghan would have been the exact thing that she would have done if she had never married Harry and she needed a job after Suits had ended.
I admit to being at a loss over how hosting a television show demonstrates a desire to live a life of privacy, but there it is. Meghan, Duchess of Sussex has passionate defenders and passionate haters. That may or may not color your view on With Love, Meghan. Separate from one's feelings about the hostess with the mostest, With Love, Meghan never makes a case as to why we should listen to the Duchess on anything domestic.
2/10
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