The Golden Girls: The Custody Battle

THE GOLDEN GIRLS: THE CUSTODY BATTLE

Written by: Winifred Hervey

Directed by: Terry Hughes 

Airdate: December 7, 1985

The Custody Battle presents us with a very curious situation. It is the second Golden Girls episode where sisters are fighting. Just like the last battle between siblings we saw, The Custody Battle actually shows that love can spring from hidden animosity.

Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty) thinks she is doing well by trying to get her daughter Dorothy Zbornak (Bea Arthur) to go out. Dorothy angrily pushes Sophia's efforts away, demanding to be given space. Their battle is temporarily suspended when Sophia's other daughter Gloria (Doris Belak) comes to visit. Gloria is a wealthy widow in California, with servants and Bert Convy shopping at the same grocery store. Sophia accepts Gloria's offer to move in with her. 

Dorothy is upset at the news, as so are her housemates Blanche Deveraux (Rue McClanahan) and Rose Nylund (Betty White). Blanche and Rose are auditioning for a local production of Macbeth, with Blanche convinced she will be cast as Lady Macbeth. It helps that she slept with the director. Blanche's efforts to sleep her way to the top flop, as she ends up cast as Witch #3 and Rose ends up as Lady Macbeth. After a fight between Dorothy and Gloria, they reveal that each thinks the other is Sophia's favorite only to find that maybe Sophia loves them both the same. 

Judging from The Custody Battle, I think Gloria is the youngest of Sophia's three children. Dorothy makes a comment that it is natural for Sophia to be fond of Gloria as she is "the baby". This, I think, will fluctuate, for I think in other episodes it is Sophia's son Phil who is referred to as the baby of the family. I think Dorothy is the oldest of the Petrillo children. We also see what becomes a regular occurrence on The Golden Girls: Rose and Blanche participating in local theater productions. Dorothy does try out for community theater every so often, but it is more often Rose and Blanche who are seen auditioning. It looks like this is a shared interest for them.  

We learn that Gloria has at least one daughter, Katherine, and that Rose has nine siblings. In The Competition, we learn that Rose has six brothers. We know that one of them lives in Houston per Blanche and the Younger Man. As such, Rose would be one of three girls born to Alma Lindstrom and her husband. 

Only one section is cut from rebroadcasts of The Custody Battle. It is a scene where Dorothy talks about her feelings of inadequacy over Gloria. 

Somehow, it seems that all four Golden Girls have sister issues. While they mostly get along with each other, Dorothy, Sophia, Blanche and Rose all have fraught relationships with their female siblings. I do not know why that is. We saw this with Blanche and Virginia in Transplant. Later on, both Sophia and Rose will have episodes where they are fighting with their own sisters. The Custody Battle focuses on the rivalry between Dorothy and Gloria.

What elevates The Custody Battle is that it rings true. The conflicts within House Petrillo are relatable and none are out of maliciousness. In fact, both of them come from a sense of love. Sophia means well even if she does not know when to pull back. Dorothy and Gloria too mean well, at least when it comes to Sophia. Each of them genuinely loves their mother, even though Sophia has pitted them against the other. We see this in the final fight between Gloria and Dorothy. All this time, the audience is led to think that Gloria is Sophia's favorite (The Heart Attack notwithstanding). Gloria has led a pretty charmed life: a wealthy husband, successful children (save for Katherine who like her mother and grandfather got large noses), shopping with Bert Convy. 

However, Gloria reveals another side to Mother Petrillo as well as her own issues with Dorothy. Gloria had her own sense of inferiority towards her older sister. Dorothy is strong and capable of handling herself, with lots of friends and a career. As Gloria tells her, in Sophia's eyes, she could never measure up to Dorothy, something she pointed out in English and Italian. Sophia, despite being sharp-tongued and at times belittling towards Dorothy, relies on her eldest daughter for protection and security. 

We see this in a wonderful moment between Arthur and Getty when Dorothy comes into Sophia's room as she is packing. As played by them, it is clear neither wants Sophia to leave, but both are too proud to admit it. It is such a well-acted scene: quiet and effective.

It also is charming to think, as Sophia tells them, that while most children fight over getting rid of their parents, her children are fighting to see who gets to keep her. Underneath the sibling rivalries and parent-child conflicts, there is a lot of love.

Blanche and Rose have a lesser plot of who will be Queen of the Scottish Play, but it gives them funny bits to play with. The idea of sweet Rose portraying the wicked Lady Macbeth must reveal an actress of intensity and skill. Who would think Rose Nylund would make such an excellent manipulator and murderess? 

The Custody Battle is sweet and funny, working well in balancing humor and heart.

If Sophia had ended up moving to California to live with Gloria, do you think Coco would have gone with them to for a chance to grocery shop with Bert Convy?  

9/10

Next Episode: A Little Romance

The Golden Girls: Stan's Return

THE GOLDEN GIRLS: STAN'S RETURN (aka THE RETURN OF DOROTHY'S EX)

Written by: Kathy Speer and Terry Grossman

Directed by: Jim Drake

Airdate: November 30, 1985

Stan's Return, also known as The Return of Dorothy's Ex, makes clear what the episode will be about. The ideas of regret play well in the episode, making it better than the last one. We learn that like a bad penny, Stanley Zbornak (Herb Edelman) will not be denied, except for terrific sex.

Homeowner Blanche Devereaux (Rue McClanahan) along with her housemates Rose Nylund (Betty White) and Dorothy Zbornak (Bea Arthur) are considering various places where they could vacation together. Displeased with things is Dorothy's mother Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty), who is being excluded from the trip. She is more displeased when Dorothy's yutz of an ex-husband Stanley (Herb Edelman) comes on business. He and Dorothy are going to sell some property that they bought when they came to Miami on their honeymoon where they had hoped to retire.

It is after they conclude their business when they go for lunch that Stan breaks down in tears. It is not the sale of what would have been their retirement bungalow that causes the waterworks. It is that Stan's current wife Crissy (Simone Griffeth) has left him for a younger man. This leads to Dorothy and Stan sleeping together, shocking everyone. Dorothy is herself shocked when she finds that Stan takes this ex-sex as a sign that they might get back together. She is tempted to rekindle their romance, but ultimately decides not to. Stan goes after Crissy, who has flown in from Maui to get back with him. With that, Dorothy toasts them alone, accepting that neither of them will get terrific sex.

We learn from Stan's Return that the circumstances of the Zbornak wedding were not exactly ideal. If Sophia is to be believed, Stan got Dorothy drunk when he knocked her up. That does appear to be date rape, which is concerning. For a show that prided itself on its progressive nature, managing to make this situation funny is, well, curious. I wonder if that part of how Stan got Dorothy drunk could or should be cut (currently it is not). We learn that Dorothy and Stan honeymooned in Miami. 

If we go by the characters' ages established in past episodes, especially Guess Who's Coming to the Wedding? and The Competition, Stan and Dorothy would have been married in 1945 when Stan would be 25 and Dorothy a shocking 15. Something I never thought of until now is on Stan's military service; if Stan was 65 when The Engagement took place, which is the age Dorothy said he was, he would have been born in 1920. That would make him 18 to 19 years old when World War II broke out, meaning that he should have been serving in the military. Granted, he may have been rejected for service for some reason, but that is speculation. 

Add to that is the idea that if, again going by what has been previously established in terms of ages, how exactly could two kids from Brooklyn not only afford a honeymoon to Miami but also manage to purchase property there while on their honeymoon? This is 1945 and money is not flowing freely. Again, it may be plausible that Stan and Dorothy bought the Florida property later, but that is not how Stan's Return paints it. It is clear that Stan and Dorothy bought the property while on their honeymoon. One more thing with regards to this part of the plot. How is it that Dorothy never seemed to remember that she owned property in Florida where she now lives? Was her honeymoon so haunted that she just forgot that she co-owned land there?

Only one part is cut from Stan's Return in rebroadcasts. It is an extended scene where Dorothy, Rose and Blanche discuss Dorothy's situation about getting back together with Stan. It is when Rose attempts to draw parallels between Dorothy's plight and when Rose found herself being romanced by Eddie Parker, Aqua Midget. It is hard to know whether it is Dorothy and Blanche who cannot control their laughter at this oddball story or Arthur and McClanahan who cannot. 

Stan's Return is a good, strong episode, tackling Dorothy's conflicted view of her ex-husband. When Stan goes over a potential future with her, such as her opening an antique shop that had been a dream of hers, we see the sadness Dorothy has over whether to take that risk or not. As she contemplates opting to reunite with Stan or not, Arthur gives an excellent performance. We get her dramatic moments balanced with amusing ones. The final scene where she meets the second Mrs. Zbornak is funny, especially when Dorothy mockingly uses Chrissy's nicknames for Stan: Big Stan and Stick Man. 

This is, I think, the only time we see Chrissy, the "dumb blonde" to Dorothy. In her one scene, I cannot say Griffeth was good. However, Chrissy Zbornak was meant to be a bit cartoonish, so I give a little leeway. The subplot of Rose, Blanche and Dorothy planning a trip together without Sophia was there to give the others something to do. I still marvel at the idea that they are so close as to plan vacations together. I also do think it is unfair to push Sophia to be the de facto guard dog. 

Edelman makes the second of many returns, and this is the first time we see him voluntarily appear sans toupee. His baldness will become a running gag. Edelman does wonderful job makes Stan into a yutz, but early on, he was allowed a more complex persona. His latching on to Dorothy, hopes for a reconciliation, and subtle calls to a potential positive future were effective. He handled the comedy well but could do the drama equally well. I think in the future, the chances for that balance would grow fewer and fewer.

Stan's Return handles drama and comedy well. It is funny and at times moving. While a bit perplexing in some places, it is good to see Stan's Return.  

I like to think that Chrissy and Coco would have commiserated over men.  

8/10 

Next Episode: The Custody Battle

The Golden Girls: The Heart Attack

THE GOLDEN GIRLS: THE HEART ATTACK

Written by: Winifred Hervey

Directed by: Jim Drake

Airdate: November 23, 1985

The Heart Attack is an episode that I pretty much skip every time it comes on television. I suppose this might be a filler episode, one where nothing is meant to happen. Bless everyone for trying to make it work, but The Heart Attack is boring and save for one detail that would remain consistent is pretty much skippable.

After a big party the four housemates are cleaning up. Homeowner Blanche Deveraux (Rue McClanahan) mocks some of the guests. Rose Nylund (Betty White) and Dorothy Zbornak (Bea Arthur) continue snacking and cleaning, enjoying the successful party. Dorothy's mother Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty) soon starts feeling what she calls a bubble, pressure on her chest she initially thinks is indigestion.

It might be more than that, however. Sophia now believes that it is a heart attack. Paramedics are called, but there is a storm that is blocking roads. With them trapped and Sophia potentially dying, everyone starts contemplating death. Eventually, Sophia's doctor Dr. Harris (Ronald Hunter) arrives and diagnoses Sophia as having a gallbladder attack due to overeating. Crisis over, Sophia takes back what she said to Dorothy about her being Sophia's favorite. 

We learn one of the most tragic elements in The Golden Girls: how Rose's husband Charlie died. In Rose the Prude, Rose tells her then-boyfriend that Charlie died while he and Rose were making love. In The Heart Attack, she confirms this when she tells Dorothy that she has seen a heart attack and that it is much worse than what Sophia is experiencing. It is a very moving description of his death, and one can see Rose's continued grief over the love of her life. We do learn that Charlie died after Labor Day, since in her flustered state she started putting white pants on Charlie and he immediately said that he couldn't wear white after Labor Day. For all the inconsistencies and contradictions that The Golden Girls would have, Charlie's death is one of the few that remained constant.

This compares to the inconsistency of Sophia's widowhood. In The Competition, Sophia tells her long-lost love that she has been a widow for 22 years. In The Heart Attack, she says she is looking forward to seeing her husband, whom she hasn't seen in 30 years. What happened in those missing eight years?   

There is a surprising amount in The Heart Attack that is removed from reruns. There is the previously mentioned dissing of the guests by Blanche. There is a listing of how various members of Sophia and Dorothy's family died. There is a longer conversation in the kitchen about the various food they have eaten. There is a conversation between Rose and Blanche about the pros and cons of burial versus cremation. There is an extended section where Rose keeps Sophia company as Dorothy and Blanche look for Sophia's rosary beads.

I was surprised at how much of The Heart Attack was cut from the original broadcast. Oddly, one section from The Heart Attack that perhaps should be cut is Rose telling Sophia what she thinks Heaven is like. I should say, "Heavens", for without meaning to, Rose believes in a segregated afterlife. I do not mean by race but rather by religion. She talks about how she imagined there is a Catholic heaven with nuns and priests. There is a Protestant heaven with people and cows. There is a Jewish heaven with libraries and I think furriers. I know it is meant to show Rose's naivete. However, I think it makes her look accidentally bigoted. Why would Catholics and Protestants have a separate Heaven? Would those who entered Paradise be one with Christ? I get why she would imagine such a thing. I do not get why anyone else thought that maybe Rose should not be seen this way.

I wonder if Rose shared her ideas of a Jewish Heaven with Dr. Harris, who tells them that he is Jewish.

The Heart Attack is boring. I think it is because there is no real plot: Sophia may be having a heart attack, and the three other women react to it. I think it undercuts the drama when we are only on Episode 10, and one imagines that they are not going to kill off a by-now major character. I think the women did as well as they could with the script. To be fair, each of them had a small moment where we could see how death, remembered or contemplated, could be traumatic for them. However, there does not seem to be any real sense of urgency. I can never feel anxious or sad about Sophia possibly dying because I do not believe it. 

Perhaps the oddest element in The Heart Attack is that it aired shortly before Thanksgiving. This meditation on death seems a strange way to greet a holiday built around food and family, not to mention the traditional opening to the Christmas season. It might have been better to have moved The Heart Attack to later in the season. It might have had a greater impact to see Sophia potentially dying (and thus, leaving the series) if it had happened near the end of Season One versus early on. 

Again, I think everyone did the best they could in The Heart Attack. However, I found it slow, dull and pointless. I always skip The Heart Attack whenever it is on reruns, and now I am glad I will never have to watch it again.

I'll bet none of this would have happened if Coco had made all the food for that party.   

2/10

Next Episode: Stan's Return

The Golden Girls: Blanche and the Younger Man

THE GOLDEN GIRLS: BLANCHE AND THE YOUNGER MAN

Written by: James Berg and Stan Zimmerman

Directed by: Jim Drake

Airdate: November 16, 1985

I cannot say for sure but Blanche and the Younger Man may be the first Golden Girls episode where we had an A and B plot. In other words, Blanche and the Younger Man had two stories going on versus one major story with at most a smaller one going on simultaneously. If not for the secondary plot, Blanche and the Younger Man would be a weak and sluggish episode.

Blanche Devereaux (Rue McClanahan) is surprised and delighted when her Jazzercise instructor Dirk (Charles Hill) asks her out. She grudgingly admits that Dirk is younger, though insisting that the age gap is a less than five years. This suggestion makes her housemate Dorothy Zbornak (Bea Arthur) roll her eyes and Dorothy's mother Sophia (Estelle Getty) greets this amusement.

Visiting at the same time is Alma Lindstrom (Jeanette Nolan), mother of Rose Nylund (Betty White). Rose hovers over Alma incessantly, treating her as almost an invalid when Alma is far from it. Rose's smothering of Alma reaches a breaking point after Alma opts to separate from Sophia on an outing. Bizarrely taken to a police station, Alma angrily berates Rose for humiliating her in front of strangers and treating her like a child.

Rose later goes to Alma, explaining that she is afraid of losing her mother, causing her to do what she can to prevent Alma's inevitable death. Alma comforts her daughter, telling her not to focus on the fact that she will die but on that she is still alive. As for Blanche's great springtime romance, she is devastated to learn that Blanche reminds Dirk of his mother. In the end, Blanche sees that though she may be old in years, she still has a lot of life. 

We learn a few things about our group from Blanche and the Younger Man. Dorothy comments that Alma is the same age as Sophia, making her 80 and being born in 1905. We learn that Rose's maiden name is Lindstrom, that she comes from a farming family and that she has a brother who lives in Houston. If we go by what could be Rose's age of 51 from Rose the Prude, which would make her birthyear 1934, Alma would have been 29 years old when Rose was born. It is not known what the birth order is among the Lindstrom children. We can also draw that the unnamed brother in Houston is one of the six Lindstrom brothers mention in The Competition. 

There is only one section usually cut from rebroadcasts. It is a continuation of Blanche's description of her potential love affair with Dirk, along with a story where she claims to have been wooed by Andy Griffith. 

I think Blanche and the Younger Man is a bad title, especially because the episode does not revolve around Blanche and her potential boy-toy. Most of the episode, and the more interesting part of the episode, is in the relationship between Rose and Alma. I think a better title would have been Mothers and Lovers. It would have described both relationships: the conflict between Rose and Alma as well as Blanche being a substitute for Dirk's mother.

For the life of me, I cannot understand why the "A" plot of Blanche and her pretty psychotic efforts at being Dirk's lover was considered better than the "B" plot of Rose and Alma. The themes of parents eventually dying are well touched on. We also get a fascinating story from Alma about her time with Ben, a younger man whom she hired as a farmhand after Rose's father died. Their relationship went from employer and employee to lovers, but once the affair ended, both accepted it.

The Alma and Ben love affair, brief as it was, would make for an interesting television movie. It also showed that residents of Rose's hometown were not the blithering idiots they would eventually become. Certainly, the Alma and Rose story, along with the Alma and Ben story, proved more interesting than Blanche and Dirk's story. It is almost sad seeing Blanche, with garish makeup, attempting to be young. 

The "B" plot of Rose and Alma is better and more interesting than the "A" plot of Blanche and the Younger Man. It is a credit to the show that Dorothy and Sophia are not out of things, especially Sophia who becomes Alma's de facto bestie. If not for Nolan and White, Blanche and the Younger Man would have been dreadful.

I do wonder though if Coco would have had designs on Dirk. 

6/10

Next Episode: Heart Attack

The Bikeriders: A Review (Review #1825)

 

THE BIKERIDERS

I was brought up to be leery of bikers, forever tainted as hooligans and criminals. The Bikeriders, based on a book of photographs, brings us into this world, with strong performances and a well-crafted story.

Essentially narrated by Kathy (Jodie Comer), we learn how she came to be involved with The Vandals, a Chicago-based motorcycle club headed by Johnny (Tom Hardy). Johnny is no bum: he has a job as a truck driver, a wife and two daughters. Yet there is something about Marlon Brando in The Wild One that opens his world. A racing enthusiast, Johnny shifts his friends and associates from a mere racing club to a motorcycle club.

Kathy, who initially is appalled at this world, is drawn in due to Johnny's friend and fellow Vandal, Benny Cross (Austin Butler). While he is smoldering, he also has a gentle side, down to waiting outside Kathy's house all night. Despite herself, she and Benny marry. 

Things appear find within the Vandals, but the organization starts growing too big with new chapters established across the Midwest. Benny, forever loyal to his colors, is almost killed for them. As we go from 1965 to 1973, we see the Vandals devolve from the old guard to the young Turks. Vietnam veterans who join the Vandals are slipping into harder drugs. Older members are attacked by younger ones. Kathy is almost raped. Eventually, one of the next generation Vandals, known as The Kid (Toby Wallace) decides to challenge Johnny for leadership, which under the rules he can. The end result will be the death of what the Vandals were, with lives shattered and the new pushing out the old. Benny and Kathy make it out, but whether they are happier now or then remains unknown.

The Bikeriders moves surprisingly fast without leaving audiences behind. We get an inside look into this subculture, but it also allows for character studies of Johnny, Benny and Kathy. Kathy is our entry into this world through voiceover and on-screen narration through interviews with Danny Lyon (Mike Faist), a photojournalist chronicling the motorcycle club. 

A lot of The Bikeriders' success is due to the three central performances. I know that many were put off by Comer and Hardy's Chicago accents. I think they worked fine and after a while you forget whatever issues you have with them. I found Comer to give one of the best performances of the year. Kathy was a real person: aware that her actions at times were irrational but still standing by her man. The annoyance at some of the Vandals' behavior to the terror of her near assault were all displayed exceptionally well. We end up liking her, even understanding how she came to fall for the leader of the pack, to coin a phrase. 

It is near impossible to not look at Austin Butler and not marvel as his beauty or in Benny's stoic nature. It could have turned into parody: the too cool for school rebel in a leather jacket who can melt women with just an upward glance from his beautiful blue eyes. However, Butler brings a quiet intensity to Benny. He is forever loyal, even when it hurts him be it at the opening or when he nearly loses his foot. As quiet as Benny is, we see the vulnerability beneath the somewhat taciturn manner. The scene when he allows himself to mourn, while quiet, is still moving.

I admit to not being the biggest Tom Hardy fan. Sometimes I find him as an actor someone trying too hard to convince me he is the character. In The Bikeriders, his efforts to sound like someone from Chicago did take away from some of his performance. Still, on the whole I thought he did well as Johnny, who found meaning through the Vandals but who did not see that he could not control the evolution of his creation.

The Bikeriders is filled with small parts which come as a surprise. Both Michael Shannon and Norman Reedus, while not on screen for long, handle their roles well and never feel shoehorned in. My one issue would be with Faist, who is supposed to be the link between our world and the Vandals' world. He is seen interviewing mostly Kathy with one or two instances when he is with the Vandals themselves. I get that this is supposed to be The Bikeriders' author Danny Lyon. Maybe he was there too much. Maybe the permanently dangling cigarette was a sign that he was trying too hard. Somehow, I think the film could have done a little less with him. 

The Bikeriders reminds me in many ways of Goodfellas. There is the voiceover narration, the look into this insular world, the evolution from a fun and an almost innocent appeal to criminality to the tragedy and horror of that criminal world. Even the ending draws inspiration from Goodfellas: ending in a more respectable life only to quietly yearn for what no longer is, or perhaps ever was. The Bikeriders is a portrait of a world so far removed from us, of rebels who have endless rules, of loyalty that goes beyond reason. Well-acted, directed and written by Jeff Nichols, while not perfect, The Bikeriders is a ride worth taking. 

DECISION: B+

The Affairs of Dobie Gillis: A Review

 

THE AFFAIRS OF DOBIE GILLIS

When Nick at Nite showed old television shows, I found myself addicted to the 1950's sitcom Dobie Gillis. I do not know if I related to Dobie, a teen forever long on love and short on cash. It was not until long after that I discovered that there was a film prior to the television series. The Affairs of Dobie Gillis, like Dobie himself, just wants to be loved. Harmless, inoffensive and with a slight charm to sell the premise, The Affairs of Dobie Gillis should be greeted with the gentleness everyone involved meant it to be.

Young Dobie Gillis (Bobby Van) has enrolled at Grainbelt University with no ideas of his future. There are those who work in life and those who enjoy life, and Dobie is a proud enjoyer. Quickly making friends with Charlie Trask (Bob Fosse, yes, THAT Bob Fosse), Dobie finds himself in a curious romantic situation. Charlie has eyes only for vixen Lorna Ellingboe (Barbara Ruick), who has eyes only for Dobie, who has eyes only for a girl whose name he struggles to learn due to odd situations.

Eventually Dobie learns her real name: Pansy Hammer (Debbie Reynolds). She is at Grainbelt to learn, learn, learn and work, work, work. She should not have time to be a teen, but soon she finds the joys of life and love with Dobie. They skip classes for picnics. They find love and laughter, much to the distress of Pansy's father George (Hanley Stafford) and quiet approval of mother Eleanor (Lureen Tuttle). All that fun though will get them out of Grainbelt if they don't turn in a long-ago assigned essay and science project. Will Dobie and Pansy manage to pull things off without doing what Pansy accidentally does best: blowing up the science lab? Will they be able to save the Grainbelt University magazine with a big-time dance band? Will Dobie and Pansy, sent off to New York City after her disastrous science exam, reunite?

I find that The Affairs of Dobie Gillis is a curious film, attempting to appeal to teen audiences while being almost psychotically square. These are not rebellious kids in the Rebel Without a Cause mode. They are instead the most squeaky-clean college freshmen in human history. One imagines that the students at Grainbelt University would find the teens parodied in Hairspray's The Nicest Kids in Town number much too avant-garde.

Dobie as portrayed by Bobby Van is never mean-spirited. He is affable if clueless about things. Van has only one solo musical number, I'm Through with Love, which is pleasant and well-staged. We should dislike Dobie for being so irresponsible on so many levels, particularly money. There is a montage of him in New York, sent there to hire a big band like Tommy Dorsey or Benny Goodman, maybe even Harry James. Instead, he uses most of the money the magazine has to squire his beloved Pansy.

We should be appalled, but Van makes Dobie into such a lovesick puppy that we almost think this is sweet. Almost, for we still are a bit distressed at how foolish he is. We are also astonished that he got away with his blatant act of plagiarism. However, again thanks to Van's performance, we find nothing malicious or calculating in his manner. It is more a mix of naivete and desperation that caused his predicaments. That his pompous professor Amos Pomfritt (Hans Conried) was so taken in by this essay that he forgot about how much contempt he had for Dobie almost makes thing endearing.

Reynolds is sweet and impish as Pansy, discovering the joys of love and laughter after a lifetime of all work and no play. She and Van duet on All I Do Is Dream of You, which curiously enough she sung the year earlier in Singin' in the Rain. While not as good as her rousing rendition in the latter, this version is again, pleasant and sweet. As a side note, I'm Through with Love was featured in Some Like It Hot, though Marilyn Monroe's tragic take on the song is better than Van's more wistful take. 

The big number is You Can't Do Wrong Doin' Right, which is a showcase in particular for Fosse. His dancing is electric, moving smoothly and effortlessly throughout the number. There is an almost explosive manner to his movements. Van is not a bad dancer, but Fosse puts everything into his dancing while Van is more focused on his lower body. You Can't Do Wrong Doin' Right also has the girls joining forces, and Ruisk and Reynolds work well together.

One does wonder, however, if The Affairs of Dobie Gillis would have done better by focusing more on Dobie and Pansy. Poor Ruisk and Fosse have precious little to do, sidelined so often sometimes one forgets that they are there. Both Conried and Charles Lane as the more sarcastic science professor do well in their roles, though they are stock characters. 

The Affairs of Dobie Gillis is not deep and in some ways very square. Despite this, there is a certain innocent charm in The Affairs of Dobie Gillis, more of a portrait of what people wish the early days of college was like in a wonderful fantasy world. Again, The Affairs of Dobie Gillis are like the title character: well-meaning, pleasant, a bit clueless but with a certain innocent charm that you end up liking him and it despite yourself.  

DECISION: C+

The Golden Girls: The Break-In

 

THE GOLDEN GIRLS: THE BREAK-IN

Written by: Susan Harris

Directed by: Paul Bogart

Airdate: November 9, 1985

The Break-In, the eighth Golden Girls episode, is not a "very special episode", though in tackling one of the character's mental and emotional health it came close. A strong performance with some funny lines elevates The Break-In to a good episode. 

After coming back from a Madonna concert, homeowner Blanche Deveraux (Rue McClanahan) along with her housemates Rose Nylund (Betty White), Dorothy Zbornak (Bea Arthur) and Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty) find that the house has been robbed. Dorothy finds that her mink stole was stolen, while Blanche finds her mother's jewels are missing.

Most affected is Rose. She has led a pretty sedate life up to now, and the robbery has traumatized her. She has become more fearful, with her buying mace that led to Blanche macing herself by mistake. Rose's paranoia culminated in her purchase of a handgun despite not knowing how to use it. Eventually, her fear and paranoia lead her to fire the gun when she thinks someone is breaking in. Fortunately, she misses killing Blanche's latest beau Lester (Robert Rothwell), who had accidentally set off the alarm. Dorothy counsels Rose, telling her that her fears are crippling her. Rose responds that in her mind, the robbers are still here. 

Rose finds herself alone in a parking garage when a man starts following then chasing her. In the end, Rose found that she is not helpless, the robbers were found, Dorothy's stole is returned, and Blanche finds her jewels which she had forgotten she had put in the freezer. 

The Break-In has one unique trait in that it is one of the few if only episodes to have location footage. Normally, everything takes place either at the house or a location that is clearly a set. Here however, the garage scene was filmed at an actual garage. It would have to, as it would be too hard to make a multistory parking garage believable on a set.

There is not much learned with regards to the characters in The Break-In. What is learned is really awful apart from a mention that Rose has gone to Hawaii and her father was a dairy farmer. In Rose the Prude, Dorothy refers to Rose's late husband as "Charles". In The Break-In, Rose calls him "Charles", which is a break from her usual "Charlie". We also hear Rose talk about "Little Falls", which presumably is her hometown. "Little Falls" makes its debut and farewell here, as I do not think it is ever mentioned again.

I suspect that The Break-In was early on in production, which would explain Rose coming from "Little Falls" where she was married to "Charles". There is a strange formality to "Charles" and "Little Falls" just sounds odd. Those two elements would, fortunately change, but they still ring poorly.

Worse, at least for me, is Rose's monologue about how she wonders if jewelry comes from Jewish people. She mentions that in "Little Falls" the jeweler was Jewish. "Jeweler, Jewish, I wonder if there is a connection," Rose concludes before Sophia tells her that she wonders if there is a connection between Rose's brain and wallpaper paste. I cannot say that this bizarre connection between jeweler and Jewish is anti-Semitic, but it has never sat well with me.

Surprisingly, this section is not cut from rebroadcasts. What is usually trimmed is an extended section where the women discuss the robbery and what to blame it on. Blanche blames karma while Dorothy blames "massive unemployment" for the robbery. This is, I figure, writer Susan Harris' worldview that crime is a result of poverty. People, in this worldview, are forced to commit crimes to eat, the idea that people steal only because they have no other option.

Personally, I think this is far too simplistic an answer, and unproven in The Break-In. The notion that no one wants to commit crimes or wants to steal unless necessity forces them to is wrong. Such ideas like those from Dorothy/Harris never account for a sad human trait: greed. It is not poverty or unemployment, massive or otherwise, that drives crime. There are probably people who do steal to keep body and soul together. However, I would imagine they would steal food, not minks. Even if they stole minks, these thieves would have to find fences to hock them to. 

I am glad that this part is cut, though I wish the "Jewish Jeweler from Little Falls" would be too.

It is interesting that Dorothy is far harsher on The Salesman (Christian Clemenson) trying to scare them into buying an expensive security system than she is on those who created the situation where such a system was thought necessary. She will excuse the robbers who have traumatized her friend, but not the guy who is trying to upsell them what could ease Rose's mind somewhat. 

 It is curious in that I seem to be coming down hard on The Break-In when it has a lot of good elements. At the heart of it is White's performance. She keeps to Rose's naïve, sweet nature confronting a very traumatizing experience. We see her sense of safety and security shattered until she ends up rallying to her own defense. White and Arthur have a great moment when the latter is attempting to comfort the former.

Getty gets to rattle off some great zingers. Observing Rose's fear, she tells her, "You've got nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course, the Boogeyman", which has the intended effect of frightening Rose. After Rose goes in guns blasting, Sophia remarks how she's managed to live 80-81 years and undergone health issues but that one night she'll belch and "Stable Mable" will blow her head off. Her final scene with Dorothy as she attempts to use the word "disdam" is daring, outrageous and very funny.

The running gag about Blanche's Chinese vase seemed exaggerated and not worth the trouble. 

In retrospect, I might have The Break-In higher than I should. There is a lot I ended up disliking. However, thanks to some of the lines and specifically Betty White's performance, The Break-In ends up being better than I remember.

It would have been nice here to have had Coco slap some sense into Rose. 

7/10

Next Episode: Blanche and the Younger Man