THE GOLDEN GIRLS: THAT WAS NO LADY
Written by: Liz Sage
Directed by: Jim Drake
Airdate: December 21, 1985
The four women of The Golden Girls have had romantic issues, but Dorothy Zbornak (Bea Arthur) seems to have the more difficult ones. The only divorcee, Dorothy now finds herself on the other side in That Was No Lady. Strong performances and an interesting dilemma make up for a weak B-plot.
Dorothy is enthralled with Glen O'Brien (Alex Rocco), a gym teacher at the school she is working at. They quickly begin an affair, which she initially cuts off when he confesses that he is married. Conflicted, she finds no resolution when advised by her housemates Rose Nylund (Betty White) and Blanche Deveraux (Rue McClanahan). Rose is adamant that Dorothy cannot run around with a married man. Blanche suggests discretion, though she admits that despite her reputation she herself has never slept with a married man. For her part, Dorothy's mother Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty) is firmly against Dorothy being in her words, "somebody's floozy".
Blanche and Rose are for their part dealing with car troubles. Rose needs a new car and Blanche wants to dump her old car for a new one. Blanche offers Rose her car for a two-week trial, which initially works out for Rose. Soon, however, Rose starts having issues with the car which Blanche eventually reveals is a lemon she is trying to unload because the dealership won't give her the full Blue Book price. Fortunately for her, the car ends up stolen.
We learn not much about the characters in That Was No Lady but did get some great continuity contradictions which The Golden Girls became famous or notorious for. Rose recounts how she and Charlie first met. In her yet-unnamed hometown (which so far would be "Little Falls" from The Break-In), Rose met Charlie when she was seven and he was eight. He had a little street stand which sold not lemonade but insurance. It was love at first sight for both. Charlie was so much in love that he paid for a new red wagon when a group of hogs destroyed Rose's after seeing it carry a roast, even though her policy did not cover acts of swine.
Going by her presumed age of 51 based on Rose the Prude, Charles "Charlie" Nylund would have been born in 1935. With that in mind, poor Charlie would have died in 1970 at the age of 37. I don't think it makes any sense, but by now on Episode 14 the show I think does not even bother to try and keep track of characters' ages or children/grandchildren.
Curiously, Rose's initial story of how she and Charlie met (at a dance) is cut from Rose the Prude when it is repeated, so most people who have never seen the complete episodes would take Rose's story of Charlie's insurance stand as their first meeting. In this situation, I think we do not have to be so strict.
Three bits are cut from That Was No Lady rebroadcasts. There is more of Dorothy's initial reaction to Glen's confession about him being married. There is more of Dorothy and Rose discussing Dorothy's affair. Most famously, there is when Sophia starts singing Purple Rain while listening to it on cassette. This last part I figure is due to copyright issues. Prince's classic is not actually heard, but Getty merely quoting it apparently was enough to get it clipped from future showings. It is to the editing credit that it does not affect anything.
That Was No Lady is less funny than most Golden Girls episodes, but it is still effective. The secondary plot of Rose taking Blanche's car is not interesting apart from making Rose look dim. This is a more dramatic episode where we see Dorothy's conflict about being someone's mistress.
Arthur does an excellent job portraying Dorothy's various reactions to the situation. She shifts from horror and outrage to acceptance to realization that as she says, she is not cut out to be the other woman. The longing for Glen which makes her party to adultery shows how love can make anyone foolish. Arthur has two great scenes in the hotel room where she and Glen have their trysts. The first is when she shifts from the joy of love to the horror of infidelity. The second is when, after starting up her relationship, she sees that her temporary pleasure will not make her happy.
She and Getty have an especially strong scene near the end. Dorothy is at first defiant about her relationship with Glen, then almost pleading to her mother to see that she is happy. Sophia tenderly states to her daughter that if she is so happy, why does she hear Dorothy pace in her room all night. It is, Sophia points out, a feeling of guilt. She already made her position clear when she scolded Dorothy for being Glen's floozy. Sophia, unlike Rose, does not disapprove due to moral reasons. She disapproves because she knows being a mistress will only end up making her daughter miserable and wants to steer her back to a genuine happiness versus the temporary physical thrill.
Getty is excellent here, revealing a genuine love for Dorothy behind her stern disapproval.
Perhaps the biggest surprise is McClanahan's Blanche. One would think someone who is known as a sexually vibrant woman would have been the other party in many relationships. However, in That Was No Lady she makes clear she does not step out with married men. Blanche explains it by saying that she knows that a married man will eventually feel guilty and give better gifts to the wife. However, I think she uses that excuse because at heart, Blanche is interested in sex but not at the cost of her integrity or in hurting others; in this case, The Golden Girls does establish consistency in that part of Blanche's character. There will be other episodes where she is firm in refusing to become sexually or romantically involved with married men, at least when she discovers that they are married. For all her promiscuity, Blanche Deveraux does have standards.
As a side note, hearing Rose describe it as a den of iniquity is oddly amusing.
That Was No Lady still has moments of laughter, but they do not spring from large parts of the plot. They have funny lines, such as Sophia advising Dorothy to go bowling where she can rent shoes to wear. There are funny moments, such as when Dorothy in her shocked state attempts to storm out of the hotel room by going into the bathroom. However, That Was No Lady is more a well-crafted character study of finding that something that might feel right is not right.
9/10
Next Episode: In A Bed of Rose's
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