Drummer Boy: A Review

DRUMMER BOY

I think Drummer Boy could have come out earlier this year given its Revolutionary War setting. As the title is an echo of the traditional Yuletide song, I think the filmmakers opted to bring it closer to Christmas. The Drummer Boy trailer has us imagine a slightly comical take given how we see the title character sing the Christmas song as he marches towards the enemy. Said trailer, however, does not prepare the viewer for how oddball, albeit sincere, Drummer Boy is.

In Christmas, 1762, the Clem family sails from Britain to the New World. Nathaniel Clem (Ioan Gruffudd) is a soldier in His Majesty's Army, convinced that in the colonies, he and his family will be free. One person who won't be free is Emmaline, the young slave of Lord Balfour (Charles Esten), the Clem family's wealthier friend. Lord Balfour's daughter, Lady Elizabeth, has something of a love-hate relationship with Emmaline. Unbeknownst to anyone, Nathaniel's older son, Jeremiah, has been teaching Emmaline to read, specifically Galatians 3:28 (There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ). Just as they spot land, the French attack. In the sea battle, Nathaniel is killed, and his youngest son, Benjamin, is injured and left with a permanently damaged leg.

Twelve years later, Jeremiah (codirector Joel David Smallbone) and Benjamin (Lucas Leach) are somewhat successful grainers. A major client is Lord Balfour, with whom the Clems have kept good relations despite the differences in class. Jeremiah pines for Lady Elizabeth (Beth Easdown). In turn, Emmaline (India Brown) pines for Jeremiah. Benjamin pines only for the chance to beat to the rhythm. There is trouble in the colonies, as news of Lexington and Concord has reached the village of Kingston. Benjamin is very much for the rebels. Jeremiah, more concerned about business, wants to stay out of the whole matter. Ben's open support for the Revolution, however, causes so many problems that Jeremiah feels compelled to join the British Army. As their mother Rachel (Melora Hardin) watches helplessly, first Jeremiah and then Benjamin join to fight the other.

Jeremiah is a born, albeit reluctant, leader. Lord Balfour, under whose command Jeremiah is under, is convinced the rebels will fall easily. Jeremiah sees the war as also a chance to win Lady Elizabeth's favor in marriage. Lady Elizabeth, however, is noncommittal, to where she does not reply to his barrage of letters. Emmaline, however, does reply, making him think that Elizabeth is the "E" who signs the messages. Jeremiah and Emmaline fall in love over correspondence.

Benjamin is rejected for service due to his leg. His tenacity, stubbornness and mastery of the drum, however, wins over Revolutionary commander Major Ambrose (Iain Glen). Ben soon proves himself able to stir the men to battle himself. Inevitably, the Clem brothers do face off. So do Elizabeth and Emmaline, whose family connection proves more shocking than Emmaline's ability to read and write, which is forbidden to slaves. Elizabeth viciously destroys Emmaline's emancipation papers even though Emmaline has bought her own freedom. The war comes to Kingston, thanks to Balfour putting his own interests ahead of the Crown's. Will the brothers reconcile? Will Emmaline and her older BFF Margaret (Beverly Knight) be free? 

The thing that I think will surprise, if not downright shock, anyone entering Drummer Boy is that the film is a musical. A bonafide, certified, singing and dancing musical. People expecting a straightforward drama might be astonished to see and hear the characters break out into song. It, in retrospect, perhaps not be a surprise given that codirector Joel Smallbone makes up half of the contemporary Christian group for King & Country. Joel's younger brother Ben is Drummer Boy's other director. for King & Country wrote the film's musical numbers.

As I was not expecting a musical, I was a bit flabbergasted by it all. I like musicals. I just was not expecting one. A musical rises and falls on the numbers. Drummer Boy has a surprising sameness to many of its numbers. I would not say that all the songs were bad. Some, to be fair, were pleasant. Wildflower, for example, is Emmaline's solo number where she sings about how she sees herself and her aspirations for freedom. Same Blood, which becomes something of a trio between Jeremiah, Benjamin and Emmaline, works rather well in its dual meaning of "same blood" (between siblings and between races). That might lay on the symbolism a bit too thick, but few if any Drummer Boy musical numbers go for subtlety. 

Others, however, do not work so well. Who I Hope to Be, which I think Drummer Boy thinks of as the big showstopping number, falters when it is paired with a very anachronistic ballroom dance scene. Granted, I know Drummer Boy is not interested in historical accuracy. This is clear from the get-go, as the song The Little Drummer Boy was not written until 1941. Including The Little Drummer Boy in Drummer Boy makes as much sense as having the Balfour slaves serenade Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas to their masters. From what I've gathered, the Smallbones are particularly fond of The Little Drummer Boy, so logic and history be damned. Yet I digress.

Many of Drummer Boy's musical numbers seem bizarrely out of place. There is the aforementioned ballroom dance. There is a big musical number at the grainery that looks closer to Bring in da Noise! Bring in da Funk! than a standard movie musical. Heart of a Lion, the Clem brothers' duet, sounds far too contemporary and on-the-nose lyrically about their situation. 

One might be astonished, maybe even a bit aghast at the musical moments popping up. It is to Drummer Boy's credit, though, that the performers' total sincerity drowns out the giggles threatening to come out of one's throat. The musical performances were mostly good. Of particular note is India Brown as Emmaline. I could picture Brown doing well on a Broadway or West End stage.

The same goes for her acting. Again, credit to Drummer Boy for giving us a rarely seen perspective: that of slaves during the American Revolution. Brown is eloquent and elegant for most of Drummer Boy. We get a montage of voiceovers of Jeremiah and Emmaline as Elizabeth's correspondence. Brown outdid Smallbone in this sequence. She even managed to make screenwriter Richard L. Ramsey's sometimes leaden dialogue sound good. As she and Margaret read the Declaration of Independence, Emmaline comments, "Mr. Jefferson wrote that. I can see the contradiction. I suspect Mr. Jefferson does too". It is only when Elizabeth speaks openly about her and Emmaline's connection where Brown stumbles somewhat, coming across as less stunned and more disinterested.

Joel Smallbone has been popping up quite a bit in film. He played his father in Unsung Hero. He had a small role in Young Washington, another Revolutionary War-set film. He was Herod's son in Journey to Bethlehem. I figure that he is determined to be a film star along with a music star. I was not particularly impressed with Smallbone's performance. He was all right, but I did think he was perhaps a bit too focused on the musical numbers than on the dramatic moments.

Lucas Leach seemed to go the other route from Smallbone. He doubled down on the "intense" manner to where it veered close to farce. Melora Hardin and Iain Glen brought a bit more gravitas as the Widow Clem and Major Ambrose respectively. While the dinner scene between Jeremiah, Rachel and Benjamin was a bit formal and stiff, Hardin's numbers were more sincerely played. Glen has a wonderful moment where he talks about his lost family that is surprisingly moving. Beth Easdown probably fared worse as Lady Elizabeth. There was something over-the-top as the evil rich white mean girl. It was as if she was trying too hard.

Drummer Boy had a very curious subplot involving two colonial soldiers who came across as the Revolutionary Laurel and Hardy. They would banter and comment on Benjamin and everything else going on around them. They were not specifically comic relief, but they were an oddity in the film.

I can roll with Drummer Boy's sincerity. I think that, at two hours, the film is longer than it needs to be. I also think that perhaps if Drummer Boy had been a straight drama versus a musical, it would have been stronger. Drummer Boy is sincere but slightly missed the mark. 

DECISION: C-

Ace Crawford, Private Eye: The Gentleman Bandit

ACE CRAWFORD, PRIVATE EYE: THE GENTLEMAN BANDIT

Written by: Mickey Rose

Directed by: Michael Preese

Original Airdate: April 12, 1983

RuPaul's Drag Race has nothing on Ace Crawford, Private Eye. The Gentleman Bandit, the last of this sitcom's five aired episodes, is a pretty bad way to close out this failed series. It is vaguely sexist and unpleasant, and that's before we get to see Tim Conway in a dress.

The staff at Business Woman Magazine are in danger. BWM's publisher Maureen Duffy (Marian Mercer) is concerned since eleven of her staff have been robbed, bound and gagged by a mysterious figure. The bandit was, despite stealing from them, a gentleman, leaving a signature chrysanthemum next to the bound, gagged and robbed woman. In desperation, Duffy turns to Ace Crawford (Tim Conway) to help solve the crimes and keep the BWM staff safe.  

Ace's efforts to infiltrate Business Woman Magazine's offices first stumble when he disguises himself as a cleaner. The Gentleman Bandit (Basil Hoffman) strikes right under Ace Crawford's nose. It does not help that Crawford's Guy Friday, CPA Toomey (Joe Regalbuto) has a cold, making his nose useless. Despite being sick, Crawford insists that Toomey go to the BWM office and be his second pair of eyes. Fortunately for both of them, The Shanty's chanteuse Luann (Shera Danese) volunteers to be the decoy. Unfortunately for them, the Gentleman Bandit strikes again, with Luann as his next victim. 

Now more determined to catch the Gentleman Bandit, Ace has to take matters into his own manicured hands. Toomey makes for an unconvincing woman, especially with him still under the weather. With that, Ace Crawford must don a wig and high heels to be the trap. The plan is to have Toomey be on watch outside while Crawford makes himself easy prey. The Gentleman Bandit finds "Ace Sinella" an irresistible target. Will Ace and Toomey manage to capture the master criminal? Will Ace end up arrested for prostitution? 

It is curious that the Gentlemen Bandit turns out to be anything but. We find that he really is a bitter man, angry at having been replaced at Business Woman Magazine by a computer and an aggressive woman. For a sitcom, seeing women bound and gagged is rather uncomfortable viewing. 

One of the curious elements in The Gentleman Bandit is how we see that Ace Crawford is really a very nasty person. Most of the time, Ace is mean and belittling to Toomey. This time, he is that way with Luann. It looks like no matter who is his assistant, Ace will always trash them.

This time, however, Ace went a bit too far. His ineptness and bumbling put Luann in danger. He was so tangled up in the large cleaning machine that he could not hear Luann's screams for help. Once Ace stumbles onto the bound and gagged Luann, it never, not once, occurred to him to help her. He did not seem to care that Luann was tied up and lying helpless. Instead, Ace Crawford is lecturing her about how inept she was and how detective work is dangerous. 

It is one thing to make your lead endearingly oblivious. In this case, Ace came across as insensitive to downright cruel. He clearly did not care about Luann or her plight. Even the most clueless figure would have seen Luann's situation and rescued her. Instead, we got someone who just spent his time scolding a bound and helpless woman.

That comes after a long and rather painful set of sight gags involving coffee and a large vacuum cleaner that were not funny. The laugh track seems to emphasize how unfunny the whole section was. 

The Gentleman Bandit has at least one positive. That is Marian Mercer as Maureen Duffy. She plays things straight, which does not make it funny but at least makes it well-acted. Even as Duffy is at the video game machine and initially takes Ace's offer of a "Hawaiian Surprise" as a lurid suggestion, Mercer never plays things broad. The "Hawaiian Surprise", for the record, is a drink that Duffy herself had ordered. 

An element that was missing was Joe Regalbuto's Toomey. As his character was sick, he was not a major part of The Gentleman Bandit. When he was, something was off in his performance. He has been naive and innocent for most of Ace Crawford, Private Eye. This time, he was just a moron. When Ace Crawford, in full drag, attempts to convince the arresting officers who he is, Ace tells Toomey to tell them who he is. Toomey decides to keep to the cover story of Ace being "Ace Sinella", his wife. He even tells "Ace Sinella" that he'll watch the kids and take them to visit "her" in jail. 

Toomey might be dumb, but not this dumb. Perhaps the cold medication, which prevented him from hearing the barking toy dog that was meant to signal Ace in danger, made him loopy. Perhaps he was put off by Ace's insistence that Toomey kiss his "wife". That was a strange situation when Ace kept pushing to be kissed on the lips. Toomey, both because he is married and has a cold, balked at the suggestion. When he finally gives Ace a peck on the cheek, Ace seems put off by that, wondering if that was it.

It was all rather odd.

It was also not funny. I found The Gentleman Bandit a bit cruel on many levels. I found it cruel against women. I found it cruel in terms of how Ace was with others. 

The Gentleman Bandit is the final Ace Crawford, Private Eye episode. It did not end fast enough. In fact, it was kind of a drag.

1/10

Next: The Complete Series

Ace Crawford, Private Eye: The Microchip Caper

ACE CRAWFORD, PRIVATE EYE: THE MICROCHIP CAPER

Written by: Rudy DeLuca

Directed by: Michael Preece

Original Airdate: April 5, 1983

Even by the standards of the time, Ace Crawford, Private Eye's fourth episode The Microchip Caper is shocking in its blindness. That, added to how unfunny it is, makes it another poor episode, where only the guest stars make it remotely watchable. 

Computer Technology Industries has a new powerful microchip under heavy guard. However, the best way to test its security is to find the best detective around. That would be Ace Crawford (Tim Conway). Techno International Insurance agent Alexandra Rivers (Christine Belford) hires Ace to see if he can break in and steal the microchip before TII puts up a million-dollar policy. If he succeeds, TII will reward him handsomely.

In truth, this is all a scam to use Crawford and his Guy Friday, Toomey (Joe Regalbuto), as patsies to steal the microchip for Rivers and CTI head Klaus Gutman (John Van Dreelen). Ace, knowing that the security is via handprints, gets the guard's handprint by posing as a Japanese businessman. Toomey will be his interpreter. 

Yes, you read that right. Tim Conway will try a variation of yellowface via a wig, bowler hat and heavy rimmed glasses. He fortunately foregoes pulling his eyes.

"Mr. Yakamata" manages to get the handprint and they break into CTI. Will Ace and Toomey make it out alive? Will they end up taking the fall?

What were they thinking? I figure that there was no deliberate intention to be offensive in The Microchip Caper by anyone involved with it. However, did no one ever wonder or question whether having Tim Conway spout vaguely Japanese sounding gibberish and stumble about would come across as maybe a bit offensive. 

It is a terrible moment in something that is not funny to begin with. If, perhaps, they had opted to make Ace's disguise to be a British lord or French businessman, one could have had some fun with things. However, by picking an Asian figure, The Microchip Caper decided to slip into uncomfortable territory. 

The fact that the writers and Tim Conway think this Asian apparition was funny makes them all look clueless. I figure that they were not trying to be offensive. It just looks that way.

I think The Microchip Caper's one bright spot is the guest star. Christine Belford tended to play posh, intellectual women. In Ace Crawford, she balanced out the femme fatale like figure with enough of a straight-faced comic manner to be in on the joke without becoming one. That is not to say that she played things totally straight. There is one painful moment where, owing to Ace's incompetence, he sets the feather on her hat on fire. The physical comedy in this moment is so obvious as to be criminal.

That being said, Belford seemed to get in on the broad manner of Ace Crawford, Private Eye. She made Alexandra Rivers appropriately villainous while also being appropriately silly. John Van Dreelen's Klaus Gutman (which was pronounced "Gootman" versus "Gutman") leaned in a bit more into the overtly overacted manner of the show. That being said, Christine Belford was fully aware, making her performance the best of the lot.

Credit should also be given in The Microchip Caper in that Dick Christie's Lieutenant Manning finally was doing his job. In the three preceding Ace Crawford episodes, Christie just popped in at the end, commenting on how Ace Crawford is a genius who manages to outwit the police. Manning still does this, but at least we see him doing something other than that.

I was surprised that The Microchip Caper seemed oddly stretched out. Once the criminals were caught, you would think we would have a bit of a wrap-up and end the episode. Instead, we get a strange suggestion from The Shanty chanteuse Luana (Shera Danese). When Ace says that he is going to sleep, Luana asks if he'd like someone to sing him to sleep. Crawford replies that he could always have the radio on. It looked as if The Microchip Caper would have finished early and they needed to stretch things out a bit more. 

The Microchip Caper continues the very curious manner of having Ace berate and belittle poor Toomey. The latter is a bumbler who clearly does not understand much of what is going on around him. However, you can't have a likeable protagonist if he's going to dismiss Toomey's fear of heights. I think Joe Regalbuto continues to be the best cast member and lifts the show from being truly unwatchable. However, there is only so much that Regalbuto can do. 

Even at the time, I think there is no excuse or justification for having Tim Conway attempt his Japanese theatrics. It is not funny. It is nonsensical. It is, I believe, to have been done without malice intended. It still comes across as tacky and tasteless.

The Microchip Caper gets points knocked down for this attempt at outdoing Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's. It wasn't, to be fair, as bad as that. It came awful close though.

1/10

Next Episode: The Gentleman Bandit

The China Syndrome: A Review

THE CHINA SYNDROME

The United States has foregone nuclear energy. How much of that is the result of The China Syndrome is up for debate. Released almost two weeks before the Three Mile Island nuclear accident, The China Syndrome lucked onto a bit of bad news. Well-acted, well-crafted and with a healthy helping of 1970s paranoia, The China Syndrome works all around.

KXLA reporter Kimberly Wells (Jane Fonda) is usually given puff pieces to cover. Her most recent one on the new phenomenon of singing telegrams is well-received. Wells is now off to cover a more substantial but still small piece. It is a tour of the Ventana Nuclear Power Plant as part of the station's ongoing energy series. Wells, along with freelance cameraman Richard Adams (Michael Douglas) and his soundman Hector Salazar (Daniel Valdez), are enjoying the tour. It isn't until they get to the control room that they see something going wildly and dangerously wrong. 

The reactor faces a major crisis with its coolant system. There is a mild earthquake at the plant as a result. There is panic on the floor, with supervisor Jack Godell (Jack Lemmon) desperate to contain the crisis. Wells, Adams, Salazar and plant executive/tour guide Bill Gibson (James Hampton) can only watch as Goddell and his team do all they can from having a literal meltdown. Goddell and his team do eventually manage to contain the crisis. Despite assurances, however, Adams has secretly recorded the entire crisis.

KXLA executives first will, then won't, broadcast the footage. Adams is furious but Wells wants to find some compromise. No dice, as Adams has literally stolen the footage and is holding it hostage. What Adams captured on film was what Godell would realize is "the China Syndrome" (where theoretically the nuclear meltdown would reach China). Wells searches for Adams and the footage, eventually going to a nuclear power protest and public hearing.

Jack Godell believes in nuclear power. He also believes in efficiency, even if it costs more. The company is not of that mindset. They want a new nuclear power plant built at Port Concepcion and won't allow the recent "Code 6" at Ventana to get in the way. Godell discovers that the Ventana building inspections were haphazard and inefficient. In short, the plant construction is shoddy. Godell makes the mistake of confronting the inspector at the Port Concepcion site. He threatens to go to the Nuclear Regulatory Agency about what he has. The inspector tells Godell that Foster-Sullivan Construction "has their own security men".

Will the public see Adams' footage? Will Godell and his intermediary live to tell what they know? A shocking conclusion as Ventana reaches a near-cataclysmic conclusion. 

I think The China Syndrome kept to a certain level of paranoia that 1970-era films seem to have in spades. Part of me finds the idea that a construction company has hired hitmen at the ready to literally kill anyone who comes close to revealing trade secrets a bit outlandish. The same goes for the evil nuclear corporation, which would rather bring about a meltdown than let Godell go on the air. However, that has to happen to up the tension. As such, The China Syndrome works excellently as a thriller.

The China Syndrome also has a collection of strong performances, ably guided by James Bridges (who cowrote the Oscar-nominated screenplay with T.S. Cook and Mike Grey). The film centers around, I would argue, Jane Fonda as Kimberly Wells. Fonda gave an outstanding, Oscar-nominated performance. Fonda makes Wells into an intelligent and principled figure. She wants to advance into serious journalism but also accepts that oddball stories like aquarium maintenance is what keeps her foot in the door.

Wells is outraged and irritated by Richard Adams' behavior. Part of it is due to her sense that he is putting her job at risk. Kimberly Wells is a professional, and Adams' theft puts her on the hook. She also objects to breaking the law overall. Fonda plays Wells like a fully rounded individual, one who is determined to follow the story. She also, surprisingly, is not an activist. Wells is by no means some wild-eyed radical. She, instead, is someone whose years of training have made listening to both sides instinctive. She won't accept Adams' views of the dangers at face value. She's willing to listen to the nuclear power company's side and judge for herself. It is only after hearing from others at the NRC hearing that Wells begins to shift.

Fonda has a standout moment with Jack Lemmon, who like her received an Oscar nomination for his performance. Lemmon brought a brilliant nervous manner to his role as Jack Godell. What makes Lemmon brilliant in the role is that he is not an antagonist. He isn't a villain either. Instead, Lemmon plays Godell as a decent, honorable man who actually is in favor of nuclear power. He, like Fonda's Wells, is not a radical. He's a perfectly average man who is appalled by the laxity, complacency and arrogance of his superiors.

Lemmon brings a genuine pathos blended with terror as Godell. He sees what both sides do not: the promise and peril of nuclear power. It is Godell's sincerity and faith, when it is shattered, that makes Jack Lemmon's performance such a standout. One sees the struggle he has between doing what is right and seeing others he trusted doing what not only is wrong but detrimental to everyone. You identify with Godell, making his end shocking and tragic.

Michael Douglas, who produced the film, has a smaller but no less effective role as Richard Adams, renegade cameraman. He is sharp and sarcastic, filled with a moral outrage. Other roles were also well-acted. James Hampton, who was a more comedic actor, balanced being pleasant and cowardly as executive Bill Gibson. I would say that Richard Herd chewed some scenery as the villainous executive Evan McCormack, willing to kill everyone in California for a buck. Credit, however, for how Bridges filmed the hostage sequence. We get moments of pure silence and McCormack's point-of-view, a malevolent force looking down on Godell and Wells. 

The China Syndrome does an excellent job building up the tension of the impending calamity. It is especially strong during that hostage/meltdown sequence. As things spiral out of control, the film does not let up on the suspense of how it will end.

It is curious that The China Syndrome has a very good song, Somewhere in Between, that opens the film. It plays as if it were a song heard on the news van, but it works within the film. 

The China Syndrome is a product of its time. We have protesters essentially saying, "Think of the children!". Another shot shows a group of them with taped mouths, showing that theatrical protests did not start with Zoomers. 

Overall, though, The China Syndrome works on every level. Hopefully, the actual China syndrome will never work. 

DECISION: B+

Ace Crawford, Private Eye: Inch in a Pinch

ACE CRAWFORD, PRIVATE EYE: INCH IN A PINCH

Written by: Arnie Kogen and Ron Friedman

Directed by: Michael Preese

Original Airdate: March 29, 1983

We get the long and short of things in Inch in a Pinch. The third Ace Crawford, Private Eye episode focuses closer to home with our title character. One would think that having a more contained episode would make things better. Alas, while Inch in a Pinch was better than what we have seen in the past, it still struggles to be good.

The Shanty barkeep Inch (Billy Barty) is getting shaken down by the laundromat. They once had him pay $340 a month (or week) to do his tablecloths. Now it's $1000 a week (or month), or else they'll wreck the place. Inch puts up a fight, but he's no match for Eagle Laundry goons. He'd rather not turn to regular customer Ace Crawford, Private Eye (Tim Conway), but Crawford volunteers his services for his old friend pro bono.

Along with his Guy Friday and CPA, Toomey (Joe Regalbuto), Crawford tracks down Eagle Laundry mob boss Ronnie Blanken (Anthony Charnota) to his regular hangout, Zazu's. You won't find any petals at Zazu's, just dangerous men who launder things other than money. Blanken doesn't scare easy, but Ace has an ace up his trenchcoat sleeve. He's going to catch Blanken in the act on tape taking a bribe. 

To do so, Ace and Toomey have to use the high-tech devices available. That would be Toomey's kids' scissors, walkie-talkies and cameras. The scissors quack and poor Toomey has to climb onto the roof to get the incriminating evidence. A fight breaks out after the botched bribe attempt where the heroes and villains have to face off at the laundromat. 

Inch in a Pinch, if you do not bother taking any of it seriously, is surprisingly not bad. It is not good. Arnie Kogen and Ron Friedman's script can't even bother keeping basic details straight. When the goons first burst their way into The Shanty, they tell Inch that the laundry bill is going up from $340 to $1000 a month. When Inch recounts the story to Ace, it went to $1000 a week. At the end of the episode, we learn that Inch is getting the squeeze from the jukebox suppliers. He now has to pay $3000 a month, otherwise there will be no more Osmonds. 

Month. Week. Month. Can't they make up their minds?

Granted, I am taking such details far too seriously. Still, I find it odd that people working on a show can't keep something rather straightforward straight.

Inch in a Pinch continues a curious trend with its lead character. I get that Tim Conway's Ace is a spoof of hardboiled noir detectives in his trenchcoat and fedora. However, what I do not understand is why he is pleasant and/or oblivious with everyone except Toomey. Ace is faux-tough with the men, somewhat aware that he is catnip to the ladies. 

When it comes to Toomey though, Ace is always curt and impatient. Toomey is a bumbler, but he is a sweet-natured bumbler. Having Ace constantly berate him for having a family or for daring to put his family's needs ahead of Ace's has the unfortunate effect of making Ace a jerk. I think he is meant to be a dimwit whom everyone bizarrely sees as a genius. Unfortunately, in every Ace Crawford episode so far, the contradictory nature of Ace's character sticks out. Ace never has anything nice to say to or of Toomey. I think it would have worked better if Ace had been flustered or puzzled by Toomey's ineptness instead of always angry at him.

The physical comedy is also a bit forced and obvious. What is meant as a big comic moment in Inch in a Pinch is when Ace goes to visit Inch. The joke is that Ace is oblivious to how he is destroying everything around him, unaware that he is stuck in a chair. I think what makes it flounder is again, a contradictory manner. Inch is painfully aware of how Ace is destroying his apartment. Ace, too wrapped up in his sense of intelligence and courage, is not.

One line is surprisingly daring even for early 1980's television. When Ace is getting frisked by one of Blanken's goons, Ace retorts, "You're not from the San Francisco mob, are you?". Such a line is startling in something that is supposed to be frothy. I imagine that today such a line would be met with at minimum some pushback at its gay suggestion. I was a bit surprised to hear that barely subtle suggestion that the goon was getting too handsy with Tim Conway.

Inch in a Pinch is a bit of a departure in one way from the past Ace Crawford episodes. For once, Toomey is the bigger idiot. It is not often that Ace comes across as the more rational one. However, Toomey's unawareness that he can be heard via the walkie-talkie taped to Ace's leg makes Toomey inept and incompetent. How anyone would hire him as a Certified Public Accountant is anyone's guess.

To be fair, this is why Joe Regalbuto continues to be the MVP of Ace Crawford. He continues to play Toomey as the sweet, unaware nebbish who is more involved in finding his family's luggage than in helping Ace out. This is the first time that I paid close attention to Toomey's voiceovers. Regalbuto flows through them with great ease. He doesn't give the faux noir dialogue any sense of cynicism. Instead, he reads them straight, which makes for a nice delivery.

Tim Conway is hampered by the script, which again makes Ace oblivious or pleasant to everyone save Toomey, whom he has a barely concealed contempt for. Billy Barty does well as Inch, who is more than able to hold his own against the goons despite his short stature. Unfortunately, that means that the other two regular cast members (Bill Henderson's Mello and Shera Danese's Luann) barely register. Guest star Anthony Charnota plays Ronnie Blanken as the overt goombah that he is supposed to be. Dick Christie's Lieutenant Fanning continues to be an inexplicable character. He just pops in at the end of the episode, but exactly why he is there not even Ace Crawford, Private Eye could discover.

Inch in a Pinch is not bad. I did not think that it was funny (the laugh track made things worse). However, the other two episodes were pretty bad. As such, Inch in a Pinch works in a pinch.

3/10

Next Episode: The Microchip Caper

Drop (2025): A Review (Review #2235)

DROP (2025)

It is not easy to date in this day and age. You have divas asking for lavish dinners and shopping sprees on the first date. You have bros who think sex comes before coffee. If all that weren't enough, what if a random stranger attempted to force you to kill your date? Drop is a surprisingly taut film that, if not for one element, would have rated higher.

Psychologist Violet Gates (Meghann Fahey) is about to go on her first date in years. She has been somewhat reclusive after having survived a deadly encounter with her former husband, Blake (Michael Shea). Despite the awfulness of her experience, Violet has one positive: her son, Toby (Jacob Robinson). Now, it is off to the elegant Palate rooftop restaurant where she will meet photographer Henry Campbell (Brandon Sklenar).

He will be late and she is nervous. Toby is being watched tonight by fun Auntie Jen (Violette Beane), but Violet is still anxious. A little drink before dinner would help, she hopes. Henry finally shows up, and so do strange messages on her phone. These "digi-drops" are puzzling to Violet. They are also turning violent. Eventually, Violet is instructed to do various criminal activities. If she does not, Toby and Jen are dead.

What does Violet need to do? She first has to destroy the pictures that Henry has. That, however, is the easy part. The hard part is for her to poison Henry. Who could be behind all this? Is it the Palate bartender Cara (Gabrielle Ryan)? What about the cocky piano man, Phil (Ed Weeks)? Could it be bumbling Richard (Reed Diamond), who is on his first blind date and completely clueless about technology? Might it even be excessively perky waiter Matt (Jeffrey Self)? There is a wild card of the mysterious Connor (Travis Nelson), who is always on his phone but is not with anyone.

The hunky Henry is puzzled by Violet's behavior, especially after he finds the watch that she claimed to have lost in her purse. Who is behind all this, and why? Will the real malevolent force reveal him/herself? Will Violet be able to kill her date? Will Toby and Jen make it through the night?

I did think well of Drop. Running at a brisk 95 minutes, the film keeps the plot going through various twists and turns. It delivers on what it promises: a taut thriller where everyone is a suspect and our heroine has to think her way out of this impossible dilemma. Drop is not trying to be too clever with its premise. It gives us just enough to find who could be behind all this.

I would argue that sometimes Drop goes a bit over the top in capturing a sense of dread and paranoia. How exactly the mastermind manages to both see and hear Violet in the ladies' room is a bit sketchy. The villain would have to have done one of two things. They would have had to tap into the Palate restaurant cameras (and I doubt the restaurant would have listening devices and cameras inside their restrooms). Conversely, they would have had to come beforehand and set up the cameras and listening devices, which is also a stretch. Drop is the type of film which follows my Number One Golden Rule of Filmmaking: Something Will Happen if the Plot Requires It To. 

However, since Drop's sole purpose is to entertain me for an hour and a half, I can roll with it.

Drop also keeps to acceptable but not great acting. I can say that all the performances save the villain are adequate though not great.  Meghann Fahy did well as Violet, the woman caught in this web of manipulation and murderous mayhem. I thought that she was a bit blank at times. However, I think Mahy did as well as she could. I do not think that she is a good actress, but I saw her trying hard. That gets mad props from me. Brandon Sklenar was fine as Henry. He matched Fahy's blankness and like Fahy, seemed to be there mostly as eye candy. Far be it for me to be cynical, but I doubt someone who looked like Brandon Sklenar would genuinely struggle to get dates. For someone on his first date in a long time, Henry seems eternally patient with his distracted partner.

Reed Diamond is an exceptional actor who has never been given the credit that he is due. As Richard, Diamond makes his bumbling manner almost endearing but curious. Ed Weeks is appropriately arrogant and cocky as Phil, Gabrielle Ryan does well as Cara, the barmaid who tries to help everyone. The most enjoyable performance was Jeffrey Self as Matt, the openly campy actor who is just waiting tables while his big break is coming. There seemed to be something delightfully amusing about Matt's enthusiasm for serving people. 

Jillian Jacobs and Chris Roach's screenplay keeps things going. It builds a good amount of suspense while keeping the audience guessing who could be behind all this. It does, to its credit, also allow little nuggets of information that do pay off later in Drop. I do question how Violet can get home from downtown Chicago to her presumably suburban home in time to save Toby and Jen. Then again, Drop is not meant to be solid but entertaining.

Here is where I do take Drop to task and why I did not give it a higher rating. I have a visceral reaction against films that put children in danger. Drop seemed to go out of its way in putting both Toby and Jen close to getting killed. I get that putting their lives in danger is what holds Violet prisoner. However, the film's climax involves hitmen targeting Jen and Toby. Something about that troubles me. That took some of the enjoyment out of Drop for me.   

Drop is directed efficiently by Christopher Landon. He kept things flowing well, even if the conclusion seemed a bit over-the-top (both the restaurant's demise and Violet's rescue). The final scene that was meant as almost lighthearted did not hit that way, at least with me. It felt a bit too obvious. 

I don't fault Drop for being a B-movie. It's an entertaining B-movie which I liked and thought well of on the whole. I still find any film that puts kids in mortal danger a hard watch to sit through. That, to be fair, is a personal thing. Minus that, I think Drop works well in keeping things suspenseful and entertaining. 

DECISION: C+

Supergirl (2026): A Review (Review #2234)

SUPERGIRL (2026)

I will not argue that the 1984 Supergirl is a good movie. It is not. However, I find it an oddly endearing movie. There is something delightfully camp about it all. Faye Dunaway as a literal witch! A plot that revolves around two powerful women fighting over a hunky gardener! Peter O'Toole wandering around the Phantom Zone in varying degrees of sobriety! What's not to love? The 2026 Supergirl, conversely, will struggle to be as beloved as its wackier, offbeat predecessor. I would say that Supergirl, rather than being a "bad" movie, is a frustrating one. The elements are there for a good film. They just were not mixed in right.

Kara Zor-El aka Supergirl (Milly Alcock) is wandering the universe on a 23rd birthday pub crawl. Her cousin, Superman (David Corenswet) checks in on her via video link from time to time but cannot persuade her to return to Earth. Kara is too busy drowning her sorrows in intergalactic booze and being as obnoxious to everyone that crosses her path. 

One person that crosses her path is Ruthye (Eve Ridley). She is seeking revenge against Krem of the Yellow Hills (Matthias Schoenaerts). This Brigard has killed her family, and Ruthye wants to avenge them. Kara, while willing to protect Ruthye against beings attacking her, wants no part of Ruthye's vengeance quest. Things change when Krem himself attacks Kara's abode and poisons her beloved dog, Krypto. Kara now has three days to take the antidote from Krem to save Krypto.

With that, Kara hops on an intergalactic bus. Ruthye continuously shows up, determined to get her vengeance. Kara, stumbling about the universe, eventually learns where the Brigands are. She and Ruthye also learn that the Brigands are abducting girls to be breeders for their all-male species. Eventually, Kara and Ruthye track the Brigands down. Kara does manage to hold her own, but she is thwarted on occasion by mercenary Lobo (Jason Momoa). He is after Krem's lieutenant, Drom Baxton (Diarmaid Murtagh). Kara manages to stop Ruthye from enacting her revenge, convinced that this will doom Ruthye rather than bring her peace.

There are still more troubles and travails for Kara and Ruthye to stop Krem and save Krypto. The green and red suns do not help Kara. Ruthye and Lobo eventually form an uneasy alliance. Kara, thanks to a now-yellow sun, is able to don the wardrobe of Supergirl. Will Ruthye find vengeance in this life or the next? Will Kara save Krypto and herself from the guilt of being a Kryptonian survivor? Will she and her cousin finally see Earth as their true home?

While watching Supergirl, I kept thinking that a story, a true and heartfelt story about Kara's isolation and need for integration was always bubbling underneath. Some of the best moments from Ana Nogueria's screenplay where when we were in Argo City, where Kryptonian survivors managed to live after Krypton's destruction. These moments, where we see Kara and her family, were moments of genuine warmth and tragedy. Apart from my wondering out loud, "Is that David Krumholtz as Zor-El?" (and yes, he was Kara's father), everyone and everything in these flashbacks worked. 

We saw genuine emotion from Milly Alcock on the separation and loss of her world. We saw the evolving tragedy of Argo City's doomed fate. Argo City was only a temporary reprieve from Krypton's total destruction. In the flashback scenes, Milly Alcock gave a genuine performance. Her comments to Ruthye about regret and the cost of vengeance work well. We even have a bit of gentle humor when Kara arrives on Earth. David Corenswet as Superman has a good rapport with Alcock. He also shows Superman to be more Clark than Kal-El. Corenswet seemed sweetly bumbling and stumbling, realizing that despite their family relationship he cannot communicate with her because he doesn't know Kryptonian.

One wonders if Supergirl would have done better to be a genuine origin story. It probably would have worked better if we'd spent time early in Argo City or at least flashed back long before we did. These scenes had a bit of heart in them. Alas, that is not the movie we got. 

Instead, we got a long time with an unlikeable lead who almost goads you into practically hating her. I did not hate Milly Alcock or Supergirl. I was just frustrated at Supergirl's need to make her "edgy" by being a drunk. Sorrowful, mournful, I get. Obnoxious, partier and a lush, I do not.

As a side note, it is nice to learn that Clark Kent/Superman is 33 in this universe. A bit of dialogue between Ruthye and Kara reveals that Kara is 23 and ten years younger than Kal-El. 

Supergirl seems more set to hit various tropes than give us a character we care about. You have the various fight scenes punctured to pop songs. You have some unintentionally hilarious dialogue, such as Kara telling Ruthye, "Ruthye, your revenge is not going to get in the way of me saving my dog". You have uninteresting villains. The Brigands from what I saw were punk aliens with vaguely Russian accents. 

Probably the oddest moment is when Kara takes an intergalactic bus to get from one planet to another. Why exactly there is such a thing as intergalactic public transportation is anyone's guess. Far be it for Ruthye to either have her own mode of transportation or hire someone. I trust Supergirl knows she can fly across space.

I do not know if having her "race against the clock to save Krypto" would make the public sympathize with her. Ruthye at least saw her family killed off, though to be fair, we barely saw them. It's hard to build up much sympathy when someone is killed after literally jumping in front of Ruthye and essentially (if not literally) going "BOO!". 

Credit where credit is due. Eve Ridley was strong as Ruthye. She showed a steady, steely determination to avenge her family. It is unfortunate that the screenplay often forced her to step aside from battle. She did not have to be a mistress of the sword. It would have been nice if she had wielded it from time to time. As stated, Alcock was best when playing regret and mournful. When called to show action or strength, she did neither. Part of that is Alcock. Other parts of that are from both Noguera's screenplay and Craig Gillepsie's directing.  

I am not well-versed in Supergirl lore to know what or who Lobo is. I do see that Jason Momoa had fun being so broad. I am not sure that he served a major purpose in Supergirl, save perhaps for name recognition. He never formally joined forces with Kara and Ruthye. He just wanted Drom Baxton's head (which he eventually got). Lobo never had a personal stake in any of this. He just popped up when he needed to. 

This is a rare time when the CGI and green screen was strongly visible. Supergirl was loud and bombastic, but I don't think that this is what audiences really wanted. I put that down, again, to how the quieter moments were the best ones.  

I again think that Supergirl is not a bad movie so much as it is a frustrating one. A lot of it felt remote and distant for me. I think Supergirl could have lived up to its name. As it stands now, I think it fell a bit short of its potential. 

DECISION: D+