Beyond the Poseidon Adventure: A Review

BEYOND THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE

This review is part of the Summer Under the Stars Blogathon. Today's star is Shirley Jones.

Nothing succeeds like success. After The Poseidon Adventure became a massive hit, it is not a surprise that a sequel followed. Perhaps seven years was too long a wait. Perhaps that was also the first sign that Beyond the Poseidon Adventure was going to be a disaster, but not in the good way. Not exactly a remake per se, Beyond the Poseidon Adventure is neither fun nor exciting.

It is right after the Poseidon capsized on New Year's Day when the tugboat Jenny comes upon it. The Jenny's three crew, having survived the same storm that threw the Poseidon over, see that they can claim salvage rights to the Poseidon. Jenny's captain, Mike Turner (Michael Caine) is eager to find anything in the Poseidon that will get him to pay his debts and save the Jenny. His second-in-command, Wilbur (Karl Malden) is also excited on the salvage prospects. Their passenger, the ever-perky Celeste (Sally Field) goes along with this because she has no choice.

Once near the Poseidon, the Jenny crew are surprised to find another ship coming alongside the Poseidon. It is the Greek medical ship Irene, headed by Dr. Stefan Svevo (Telly Savalas). He claims to have received the Poseidon's S.O.S. and search for more survivors. Pulling their resources, the Irene and Jenny crew go into Poseidon. Here, they find more survivors. The first group is made up of nurse Gena Rowe (Shirley Jones) and passengers Frank Mazzetti (Peter Boyle) and Suzanne Constantine (Veronica Hamel).

Frank is desperate to find his daughter Theresa, and fortunately Theresa (Angela Cartwright) did survive. She is found in the purser's office, alongside hunky elevator operator Larry Simpson (Mark Harmon) and Dewey "Tex" Hopkins (Slim Pickens). Tex has a bizarre fixation for a Baune 1865 wine that he found, saying that there are only six in the world. Despite the diamonds, gold and cash around him, Tex thinks the wine is worth far more and will not let it go. Eventually, they come upon two more survivors: Harold and Hannah Meredith (Jack Warden and Shirley Knight). They seem almost resigned to die, as Harold is blind and will not leave, causing Hannah to refuse to leave him. They are talked into joining the others in a bid for life.

The Greek medical team splits from the Jenny trio, who mix their salvage search for a rescue of the Poseidon survivors. There is in truth a malevolent reason for not trusting the Greeks. Far from being rescuers, Svevo has come in search of what we eventually discover is plutonium, along with arms for smuggling. Svevo has an inside person among the survivors, but this agent will not live to reveal anything. After the inside person's body is found, the survivors fear that there is a serial killer aboard. Svevo cannot let anyone outside his circle live. Who will make it out Beyond the Poseidon Adventure?

Irwin Allen pulls double duty as both producer and director in Beyond the Poseidon Adventure. That should have been the second sign that the film was going to be wildly misguided, or perhaps misdirected. There is no sense of danger or menace to be found. Instead, you see a lot of actors floundering about (no pun intended). Allen as a director could not build up suspense or danger or interest in what was going on. So many scenes look as if not even the actors are taking things seriously. 

Savalas seems to be having a grand time being a villain. He apparently decided that it was better to make Svevo into a calm villain. Savalas never rages or rants. He is quite rational, cooly detached from things. He is a highlight of Beyond the Poseidon Adventure, as if he accepted that this was a nice paycheck. Bless Shirley Jones, who also managed to play scenes straight even while having to say idiotic things. "If Captain Turner's right and there is a homicidal maniac on board this ship and it's not Dr. Svevo then he's in as much danger as we are" she scolds I believe Mazzetti. Any actress who could get through such a line without breaking out into laughter deserves credit.

As a side note, wouldn't even homicidal maniacs be more interested in saving their own lives than in going on murderous sprees if they are trapped on a sinking ship? 

I think a major problem with Beyond the Poseidon Adventure is that, unlike the original, we get very little chance to know the characters. If anything, we are given little bits about who these people are. Blind. Perky (irritatingly so). Whiny. Loud. Bossy. Murderous. As such, there is no sense of why we should care. That may also be why more often than not, we would not mind seeing some of these people die.

That is the case with Sally Field's Celeste. Put aside for a moment that for the longest time we did not learn her name (if memory serves right, she was referred to as "Honey"). Right from the get-go, you sense that Celeste is a dimwit who would be better off being left aboard the Poseidon. How else to explain how her idea of "helping" during the storm was to smash the tugboat's window? To be fair, she did not intentionally smash it. However, why did she think that using a coatrack would help in the situation? Beyond the Poseidon Adventure wants to suggest some kind of romance will eventually evolve between Celeste and Mike. It is a strange suggestion given that Captain Mike is pretty contemptuous of Celeste and understandably so. 

The film ends with Celeste pulling out a large diamond after they have lost the rest of the treasures that they managed to salvage. Mike looks at our perky (VERY perky) heroine. "Gonna kiss me now?", she asks. "I was gonna kiss you anyway", he replies. That may be the most eye-rolling bit of dialogue from Nelson Gidding's adaptation of Paul Gallico's novel. However, other elements fail to keep us interested.

Peter Boyle was affected by being one of the one-note characters. I think that he might have been the new Rogo from The Poseidon Adventure, the one who questioned every decision and was crabby about it. However, while I think that Boyle tried, the end result was more laughable than interesting. It takes, I suppose, a lot of work to be out-acted by Mark Harmon, but there it is. Stabs at pathos, such as with Karl Malden and Slim Pickens' characters, also fall flat. Tex's true identity, along with his refusal to let go of the bottle, were more absurd than moving. To be fair, I did admire Tex's devotion to his wine.

I don't know if, unlike Boyle, Michael Caine tried to make any of this serious. Predating his open cash grab role in Jaws: The Revenge by eight years, Caine seems to have problems when in stories involving water. He barked a lot and was given a pretty thankless role, so to speak. Maybe he did the best he could with it. Or maybe he realized that Beyond the Poseidon Adventure was silly and opted to roll with it. 

All of that, I suppose, could be forgiven if Beyond the Poseidon Adventure were action-packed. There were efforts at that with shootouts and an explosion to top off the film. However, they were not exciting. They seemed to be more play than real. I am also curious about the plutonium found on the Poseidon. Again, I won't wade into the waters as to why the Poseidon was being used to smuggle arms and plutonium, especially given that this was going to be the Poseidon's final voyage. 

The Poseidon ultimately explodes due to the damage the ship has. I do not recall that Svevo's men managed to get the plutonium's container aboard the Irene before the explosion. Even if they did, I figure that the ferocity of the Poseidon's explosion would have taken the Irene out. As such, shouldn't the plutonium have also exploded? If it did, how did anyone manage to escape?

Oh well, perhaps that is thinking too much on things. Beyond the Poseidon Adventure is a misguided effort to keep things going from the first film. To misquote a lyric from West Side Story, let Beyond the Poseidon Adventure sink into the ocean.

DECISION: D+

The Fantastic Four: First Steps. A Review

THE FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS

The first family of Marvel goes for yet another round of cinematic adaptation in The Fantastic Four: First Steps. There is the added bonus that, unlike the first three efforts, First Steps is tied to the world's longest and most expensive soap opera of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. First Steps is not the reboot that the MCU desperately needs. It is fine, neither a return to form from past glories nor a horror to suffer through.

In our alternate Earth, the 1960's are a fantastic world of bright colors and immense optimism. That is due to the superheroes known as The Fantastic Four. There is Reed Richards or Mister Fantastic (Pedro Pascal), a brilliant scientist who can stretch his body to immense lengths. There is his beautiful wife Sue Storm, also known as The Invisible Woman (Vanessa Kirby). Her powers involve not just invisibility but creating force fields. Her literally hot brother Johnny Storm or The Human Torch (Joseph Quinn) can fly and light himself on fire. Their friend Ben Grimm (Ebon Moss-Bachrach) is a man who is virtually indestructible due to his almost brick-like skin, earning him the sobriquet of The Thing.

They are celebrities, but they use their powers for good. Sue has brought about world peace. Reed creates great inventions and even squeezes in a kids' science show, Fantastic Science with Mr. Fantastic. Things can only get better once Reed and Sue find that she is pregnant. The public at first is mesmerized by the newest arrival, speculating on whether or not the child will have superpowers like his parents.

The public's interests soon turn away from that to more pressing matters. An alien has come to warn Earth that it is doomed to die at the hands of a giant space being known as Galactus. Despite Johnny's best efforts to catch someone whom he described as "a sexy alien", this Silver Surfer (Julia Garner) is the herald of Earth's doom. 

It is now up to the Fantastic Four to stop Galactus from destroying the Earth. Efforts at negotiations fail and nearly cost them their lives. It also causes Sue to go into labor and give birth to her and Reed's son, whom they name Franklin. The child has become important to Galactus. He has had to devour planets for centuries and now feels that Franklin could take his place and relieve him of this burden. They collectively flat-out refuse to sacrifice Franklin to spare Earth. This decision, however, is not met with enthusiasm by neither surface-living humans nor those living in Subterranea, ruled by Harvey Elder, better known as Mole Man (Paul Walter Hauser). The Fantastic Four do find a way to spare both Earth and Franklin. Will their efforts succeed? Will everyone survive this battle? Will the Silver Surfer end up as friend or foe?

I have been open on how I have never been a comic book reader. As such, I am sure that a lot of things flew over me while watching First Steps. For example, I simply had no idea who Mole Man was.  I also was not aware of how similar the Fantastic Four were to the Incredibles. This came to me every time I fought the temptation to refer to Reed and Sue's child as "Jack-Jack". I do not know if the resemblance was purely coincidental, but there it is. 

Fantastic Four: First Steps has as a major positive its overall look. The film is brimming with bright colors and a retro-futuristic feel that makes it both of a particular era and familiar. Credit should be given to the production and costume design, which brought this alternate universe into reality.

In other aspects, I found First Steps to be, well, fine. The performances on the whole were acceptable. Pedro Pascal's ubiquity is now a meme. Here, he was not terrible as Reed Richards. As a side note, it is interesting that for all his powers, Mr. Fantastic did not showcase them often. Pascal gave Reed a sense of perpetual worry, be it for his fathering abilities or his world-saving abilities. Vanessa Kirby was better as Sue Storm. I think it is because she was called to do more, particularly over her protectiveness towards Franklin.

It is interesting that the screenplay made motherhood an important aspect. It is more interesting when you see that all four credited screenwriters are men (Josh Friedman, Eric Pearson, Jeff Kaplan and Ian Springer). The desire to protect Franklin, to be fair, was shared by all four of them. I think that the focus on Sue, however, was stronger than that of say Johnny or Ben. They all loved Franklin, but I think his mother would be the one who would be the last to even consider sacrificing her child even if it meant saving the world. 

It is also to the film's credit that we never got, at least to my memory, any "but on the other hand" argument from anyone. Again, this is based on my memory of a movie I saw months ago. However, no one ever said that it would be beneficial to essentially bump off a baby to save the world. Yet, I digress.

What is weak about First Steps is that we really got very little from others. Of particular note is Moss-Bachrach and Quinn as The Thing and the Human Torch respectively. We got bits and pieces of who they were. We saw Ben Grimm go to synagogue to talk to a pretty teacher that he was enchanted by. We got a bit of Johnny Storm's stabs at being cocky. I think though that somehow, they ended up having little to do. Worse, they had very little in terms of personality. Whether it is due to Moss-Bachrach and Quinn's acting skills, the script itself or a combination of the two I cannot say for certain. For myself, I at times forgot that they were there.

I cannot say anything overtly negative about The Fantastic Four: First Steps. You can skip the second post-credit scene. I cannot say anything overtly positive about it either. Michael Giacchino's score was pleasant. Neither a restoration nor abomination, The Fantastic Four: First Steps is, in the end, acceptable.  

DECISION: C+

Death Wish (1974): A Review (Review #2020)

 

DEATH WISH (1974)

This review is part of the Summer Under the Stars Blogathon. Today's star is Charles Bronson.

Justice is dealt out swiftly in Death Wish, the first of what I figure became an unintentional franchise. Still controversial, Death Wish moves fast and gives us a sympathetic portrait of a man pushed to fight whether he wants to or not.

Well-meaning architect Paul Kersey (Charles Bronson) has a charmed life. He has a wonderful wife, Joanna (Hope Lange) and a successful career. He is concerned about crime in New York City, but he believes that crime is a result of poverty versus cruelty. His world comes undone when Joanna and their daughter Carol (Kathleen Tolan) are viciously attacked in Paul and Joanna's apartment. Carol opened the door believing that they were receiving groceries. Instead, it is three hoods who took the Kersey address from the store to at first rob them. Things go out of control when they begin beating Joanna and viciously raping Carol.

Paul is urgently contacted by his son-in-law Jack Toby (Stephen Keats) to come to the hospital. Carol survives but is left shell-shocked in a near-permanent catatonic state. Joanna does not survive. Paul is devasted and equally frustrated at the lack of movement to the investigation. He also starts considering self-defense with an improvised weapon: a sock with coins to use as a battering ram. Paul does use it when someone attempts to mug him. 

To help with his grief and move his career forward, Paul is sent to Tucson to attend to a client. Here, the client, Aimes Jainchill (Stuart Margolin) remains firm on some points. First point is on how the proposed development must not demolish the hills in the area. The second point is on how guns are just a tool, neither moral nor immoral. Aimes gives Paul a gun as a parting gift, though Paul is unaware of that until after he returns to New York.

Carol's condition has grown worse. The police are no help. Paul starts carrying the gun for his protection and eventually uses it against yet another attempted mugger. Soon, Paul becomes what the press dubs The Vigilante, a mysterious figure who is shooting criminals who either attempt to attack him or others. The NYPD is displeased by this Vigilante. Heading up the investigation is Inspector Frank Ochoa (Vincent Gardenia). Ochoa is no fool, shrewdly narrowing down potential vigilantes based on age, sex, crime victims or relatives of crime victims and even military service. Will Ochoa track down the Vigilante? Will Paul Kersey's nocturnal activities find him out or even get him killed?

I think that Death Wish, contrary to some others' perception, does not glorify either gun violence or vigilantism. Paul does not kill for blood lust. He kills only when he sees others being attacked or is himself threatened. Paul also mentions that while he served in Korea, he was a conscientious objector. In short, Paul is a man of peace, a "bleeding heart liberal" as one of his colleagues calls him. In Death Wish, we see that Paul was pushed to vigilantism due to the tragedies he suffered, not through a specific desire for revenge.

Does Death Wish glorify violence? I do not think so. I think rather that it is a reaction against the growing violence. Wendell Mayes' adaptation of Brian Garfield's novel also suggests that the general public is capable of defending itself from violent crime. Paul and his work colleagues see a news report of a Mrs. Alma Lee Brown (Helen Martin), who took on attempted muggers by using a hatpin against them. This is a somewhat amusing moment amidst the violence in Death Wish, particularly when we see the reenactment of this seemingly frail old woman chasing after the thugs who tried to rob her yet again.

This is probably the only part in Death Wish that has anything close to lightness. Actually, the Wild West show that Paul and Aimes go to can be considered lighter given the exaggerated theatrics of the reenactors. This scene is probably here to show the seeds of vigilantism planted in Paul's mind. Still, it was realistic in its theatrical manner, a credit to director Michael Winner.

Charles Bronson is a curious figure in film. He is not traditionally good looking. Death Wish did not leave me with the idea that he was a strong actor. At times, he seemed a bit stiff in his delivery, though he did make an effort when working with Lange. Still, I can see why he became a solid action star. I think it is because of both his apparent flaws. He is closer to an everyman, someone whom we can know in our daily lives versus some glamorous figure. He is also more casual in his manner. Charles Bronson was not striking poses but doing his best to be the character. He excelled when facing off against thugs. He also did well when handling a monologue about how his father's death in a hunting accident was instrumental in his aversion to guns, albeit due more to his mother's insistence than his own views.

Death Wish also has some good performances from both veterans and up-and-comers. Though her role is small, Hope Lange does make Joanna someone we do care about. One is surprised to see Jeff Goldblum in an early role as "Freak One", one of the muggers. We also see a brief appearance from future comic actor/director Christopher Guest as Officer Reilly, the rookie who has the Vigilante's gun. Olympia Dukakis and her future Moonstruck co-star Vincent Gardenia also share a scene in the New York Police Department investigation group meeting.

I think it is a strange choice to have the very Italian Gardenia play a character named Ochoa, which is a Hispanic surname. I wonder what the rationale for such a choice was. Despite that, I think that Gardenia's performance is commendable. His Inspector Ochoa was not a dumb cop nor fanatically hostile to the Vigilante. He is shown as a dogged cop, capable, who uses logic to slowly, methodically narrow down potential suspects. 

Death Wish does not shrink from being at times rather graphic. The assault on Carol in particular is disturbing to watch. In some ways, Death Wish is a B-film, where one can see that it was not a lavish production. However, it works for the film. Perhaps a good chunk of the money went to hiring jazz legend Herbie Hancock to write and perform the score. 

Director Winner also has some wonderful shots in the film. When Ochoa and Kersey finally meet near the end, Ochoa is shown to be holding Kersey's gun in a peculiar manner, almost as if threatening him himself. Ochoa also is shown seen speaking to his officers in front of a target, a clever sight gag.

Death Wish does leave the door open to a sequel. I do not know if a franchise was needed or warranted. As it stands now, Death Wish is a good film that lets one decide if it is pro-or-anti vigilante. 

DECISION: B-

Winter Kills: A Review

WINTER KILLS

This review is part of the Summer Under the Stars Blogathon. Today's star is Sterling Hayden.

Long before JFK, we got Winter Kills. The difference is that JFK is supposed to be serious, while Winter Kills is supposed to be a comedy. From what I saw, few people seemed to be in on the joke. I find Winter Kills to be a curious film, one that is too close to what it appears to want to spoof to be funny.

Nick Keegan (Jeff Bridges) is the half-brother of the late President of the United States who was assassinated on February 22, 1960. Later I will touch on why I focus on the date of the assassination. It has been nineteen years since Tom Keegan was gunned down in Philadelphia. To his shock, someone has come to his family's ship claiming to have been a second gunman. He confesses to being the true assassin, the official killer being essentially a patsy.

Did I mention that the official assassin was himself killed a few days later while in police custody by a small-time gangster named Joe Diamond (Eli Wallach)? 

As it stands, Nick now starts going on this wild goose chase looking for who is behind the murder. Unfortunately, everyone whom Nick finds somehow ends up dead or is already dead. Nick's father, business and political tycoon Pa Keegan (John Huston) is at first disbelieving, then apparently helpful to Nick's grand investigation. Pa sends him hither and yon, finding all sorts of clues and dead ends. Pa's frenemy Z.K. Dawson (Sterling Hayden) is more irritated that Nick has interrupted his literal war games, threatening to blow him up with his tank. Nick's current on/off mistress Yvette Malone (Belinda Bauer) wants an exclusive for her magazine. She also screams during sex like she's being murdered.

Soon, the investigation into President Tom Keegan's murder involves big business, the Mafia and Hollywood studios. According to Pa's accountant and fixer John Cerutti (Anthony Perkins), it might even involve Pa himself. Nick is not in a good place: Yvette, he discovers, was not only a fake but was murdered herself. It is time for Nick to confront Pa Keegan, leading to more deaths before the day is out.

Winter Kills is clearly based on the assassination of John F. Kennedy. The film isn't too subtle about this. You don't name the low-level hood hired to kill the alleged Presidential assassin "Joe Diamond" and not expect people to think "Jack Ruby". What I found curious in Winter Kills is that, essentially, it never fully decided if it was going to be a straightforward political thriller or a spoof of Kennedy conspiracy theories.

As a side note, while the Keegan family is meant to be the Kennedys, I don't think Nick Keegan would ever be confused for either Robert or Edward. 

You have some pretty oddball moments in Winter Kills that do play like farce. Sterling Hayden in what essentially is a cameo seems to be spoofing his Dr. Strangelove performance. Barking out his lines, if memory serves right with a cigar in his mouth, Hayden seemed more crazed here than as General Jack D. Ripper. You have an uncredited Elizabeth Taylor and her then-husband, Senator John Warner, also popping up. Why exactly was Toshiro Mifune in this film? Why was he named Keith? He too had pretty much a cameo, and odd ideas of Mifune as the Keegan Japanese houseboy pop up. At least Erin Grey as "Beautiful Woman Three" had a reason for being there.

Maybe they all thought Winter Kills was some kind of lark. The problem is that Jeff Bridges plays it pretty straight. Permanently bamboozled by what is going on, Bridges looks to make Nick someone genuinely attempting to find the truth about his half-brother's killing while everyone else seems to be playing a long joke at his expense. Just before Pa bites the dust in a way that admittedly had me laughing, I half-expected John Huston to look up at his son and yell, "PSYCH!".

You do get the chance to see Bridges constantly shirtless, so I suppose writer/director William Richert made full use of Bridges' appeal. You even had both Bridges and Bauer appear fully nude after their intense sex session. You did not, however, have an explanation why "Yvette Malone" (whom we later find out is really a Jenny O'Brien) had a French accent.

Winter Kills does have good moments, almost all of them due to John Huston. He plays this as a lark, throwing out great lines all over the place. "You abandoned my ship. I got sixty million bucks floating there, and you take off like she's Friday night's hooker," he berates Nick when he comes home. Huston is having a whale of a time camping it up to the Nth degree. Every time he is on screen, you get some rapid-fire delivery of someone not bothering to take any of this seriously. 

One would have hoped that such a thing could have rubbed off on Anthony Perkins as the mysterious Cerutti. In his final scene, he ends up moving in such a way that I thought that he was either crazy or a malfunctioning auto animatronic. It was simultaneously hilarious and bizarre.

As a side note, one of the characters in Winter Kills is named Gameboy Baker (Ralph Meeker). I could think of something else whenever I heard anything about Gameboy.

There are good things in Winter Kills. Maurice Jarre's score is much better than the film. The film does not feel slow. It does, however, seem at war with itself. It could have gone all-in on spoofing conspiracy theories. It could have taken the premise seriously. Instead, Winter Kills seems to want it both ways. I do not know if it works as well as it could have. I do at least understand why Winter Kills is something of a cult film. It's not one that I share but bless them for trying.

I mentioned why I focused on the date of the assassination: February 22, 1960. If we go by the date, I figure that President Keegan was running for reelection as 1960 would be a Presidential election year. It would also be early in the election campaign since the election would have been in November, nine months away. Given that this President Keegan would have been out of office in 1964, it doesn't seem worth the trouble to bump him off at all. I do not know why this detail stuck out to me. However, I am a reviewer that tends to get hung up on specific details, so there it is.

Finally, Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.  

DECISION: C+

Run Silent, Run Deep: A Review

 

RUN SILENT, RUN DEEP

This review is part of the Summer Under the Stars Blogathon. Today's star is Clark Gable. It is also part of the Plaza Classic Film Festival.

Underwater menaces plague ships at war. Run Silent, Run Deep is a good and entertaining film about men fighting battles external and internal aboard a submarine.

In 1942, Commander P.J. Richardson (Clark Gable) lost his submarine to the Japanese vessel Akikaze in the dangerous Bungo Straits. While he manages to save his crew, Richardson's loss still haunts him. A year later, he is still assigned to a desk job when he learns that the submarine Nerka is returning to Pearl Harbor. The Nerka is in need of a new captain. Most of the crew expects Executive Officer Jim Bledsoe (Burt Lancaster) to be promoted. Bledsoe didn't count on a superior officer's need to redeem himself and get a second chance to avenge his men and his honor.

Richardson is by-the-book, not dictatorial but obsessed with drills. The crew grumbles about the endless drills. Their irritation grows when Richardson deliberately avoids a Japanese ship. Why drill so much if they are not going to engage the enemy? 

Simple. Richardson is set on going back into the Bungo Straits and take down the Akikaze. To do that, he must ignore orders for him to avoid the straits. Richardson does destroy another ship on his way to pursue the Akikaze, but at a cost. Richardson too faces health issues that may make him incapable of completing his own personal mission. As such, he must relinquish the Nerka to Bledsoe, who will sail back to Pearl Harbor. 

However, an unexpected radio message from none other than Tokyo Rose herself alerts Bledsoe on how the Japanese are having such success in sinking American ships. The Akikaze already thinks that the Nerka has been sunk, so the Americans have an advantage. Will Bledsoe end up finishing what Richardson started? Who will live to see victory, and who will end up buried at sea?

Run Silent, Run Deep is not a slice-of-life about life in a naval submarine. It is meant as a portrait of men at war and men at odds. In this situation, Run Silent, Run Deep director Robert Wise does well with his two main leads. Richardson and Bledsoe are rivals, but they are always professional. Run Silent, Run Deep does well in making clear that for all of his frustrations and dislike, Bledsoe would never contemplate a mutiny or disobey orders.

Clark Gable is appropriately commanding in his role of Richardson. The film does allow him moments of regret, even humor. Both of these are in the early sections of the film. Gable's professionalism is evident when he attempts to take down the Akikaze the first time. He shows Richardson's frustration at being behind the desk. There is a brief scene where Bledsoe first confronts Richardson in a last-ditch effort to request that he give up commanding the Nerka. This scene, while not funny and played perfectly straight, does something interesting. 

It takes place at Richardson's home. As such, we get to see a different side of him. Here, he is the gardener caring for his tree. We also see him advising his wife (Mary LaRoche) to prepare lemonade with a touch of gin. This clues us in that Richardson is fully aware of Bledsoe's resentment about losing the Nerka. It also shows Richardson to be a family man, giving the viewer an idea that he is not a lone wolf seeking validation. Instead, he is a determined man seeking justice.

Lancaster is able to match Gable in quiet intensity. Bledsoe is a serious man, but he too has a moment where he lets down his guard. Again, it is early on, when he is genuinely touched, even amused, at the gift of a jacket with "Captain" on it from the crew.

Run Silent, Run Deep does give us some bits about the type of men aboard the Nerka. It is surprising to see Don Rickles of all people pop up as a crewman. Here, he is sarcastic but with a soft edge, far removed from his Merchant of Venom persona. Jimmie Bates in his small role of naive crewman Jessie is amusing, and we end up caring about him.

The film does not shy away from showing the conflict between the men. However, it does not dwell on them, showing them to be professional and mature (except perhaps for their habit of tapping the backside of a pinup for good luck). 

While the battle scenes do look a little dated, one can roll with the overall effect. The attack on the Nerka is well-filmed and ultimately moving. The film also has an excellent musical score by Franz Waxman. For history buffs, we get some idea of what a Tokyo Rose broadcast would have been like. The film does well to have our enchanting Japanese female voice say that they call her "Tokyo Rose", since no one actually used that name on air. Still, we get to hear that mix of American swing music and attempts at downbeat propaganda.

Run Silent, Run Deep is good for people who enjoy action and war films. Some of the effects are dated. Still, it is well-acted and entertaining. Run Silent, Run Deep is worth diving into.

DECISION: B-

Terminator 2: Judgement Day. A Review

TERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY

The war between humans and machines continues in Terminator 2: Judgement Day. The sequel to The Terminator more than equals its source material. A richer, deeper film with visual effects that still hold up, Terminator 2: Judgment Day is a great thrill ride. 

Narrated in voiceover by Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton), we learn that the artificial intelligence known as Skynet continues battling the human resistance for control. Skynet sends into the past a new Terminator, the T-1000 (Robert Patrick), which can change shapes and is made out of almost indestructible liquid metal. Having failed to kill John Connor before he was born, Skynet now plans to kill him as a child.

Under the disguise of a police officer, the T-1000 has tracked down John Connor (Edward Furlong). John is making do with his newest foster parents, with Sarah locked up in a mental institution, her stories about the past believed to be deranged ramblings. It looks like the T-1000 will complete his mission. However, the Resistance has its own Terminator. It is a modified T-800 (Arnold Schwarzenegger). John is terrified of both Terminators but eventually learns that the T-800 has been reprogrammed to be John's protector, not murderer.

The T-800 realizes that the T-1000 has already murdered John's foster parents to get to him. John now is determined to rescue his mother, with whom he has a strained relationship, from the mental hospital. He also orders the T-800 to not kill people, which the Terminator is obliged to obey. The rescue works, though coincidentally Sarah had managed to make an escape attempt that very night.

Despite their differences, John and Sarah now go into the desert to acquire weapons and escape into Mexico. She also sees John bonding with the T-800 in a way that he hasn't with anyone. A dream about Judgment Day, when Skynet will unleash a nuclear holocaust, convinces her that Skynet can and should be stopped. She learns that Cyberdyne researcher Miles Dyson (Joe Morton) will have a breakthrough that will start the rise of Skynet. She sneaks off to kill Dyson, with John and the T-800 in hot pursuit. Will she be able to kill someone who technically has done nothing wrong? Will the T-1000 find them? It will be a battle to the bitter end to save humanity, a battle where not everyone survives. 

Terminator 2: Judgment Day is a sequel where I do not think that you need to see the original to follow the plot. James Cameron, who returns to direct the film and who cowrite the screenplay with William Wisher, gives the viewer a bit of a reprise through Sarah's voiceovers. The film was wise to limit these voiceovers and let the story play out. It also was wise in having some of those voiceovers give us Sarah's thoughts. We see Sarah as both despairing and hopeful. Hamilton has a wonderful monologue where the audience sees John interact with the T-800. 

This bit of respite allows us to see that at this moment John is not the great leader of the Resistance. He is a kid, one who wanted a father figure and found one in the most unlikely of beings. Hamilton conveyed Sarah's sanity, intelligence and strength when in the hospital and her escape. We also see the human side when she struggles to kill Miles. 

I think one of Terminator 2's great strengths is that it takes the premise seriously. The film, both in its various action scenes and quieter moments, does not play the situations for straight-out laughs. That is not to say that Terminator 2 does not have a bit of humor. Early in the film, the T-800 walks out of the biker bar where he has acquired what he needs to the song Bad to the Bone. At the film's climax, the T-1000 gently mocks Sarah and John by waving his finger menacingly, almost as if scolding them for trying to defeat him. It is simultaneously amusing and alarming.

An undervalued aspect of Terminator 2 may be the performances. Arnold Schwarzenegger became a star with The Terminator, and here he manages to expand his original role. Granted, he is playing a reprogrammed T-800. However, his deadpan manner when attempting to recreate human responses works. He keeps a balance between robotic and almost more lighthearted. In short, Schwarzenegger brings a touch of humor and even emotion. His use of "Hasta la vista, baby," has become a catchphrase, and the film set that use up brilliantly. I think that few people will not be genuinely moved at the end, when he gives a final thumbs up to the young boy who has grown to love him and a former adversary who has grown to trust him.

That adversary also did remarkably well. Linda Hamilton balanced Sarah Connor's strength with her vulnerability. She is physically strong, able to take down those who fight her. She also, however, manages to show that Sarah genuinely struggles with killing someone who has not harmed her. It is a very strong performance.

More credit should be given to both Cameron and Robert Patrick as the T-1000. It was a wise decision to cast someone who is not physically imposing like Arnold Schwarzenegger is. Patrick is lithe, but that makes the T-1000 more menacing. His physicality is seemingly not threatening, but we see in Patrick's performance a deadly determination. Like his predecessor, this Terminator is relentless, unyielding and highly dangerous. When he has to play human, Patrick does well in his interactions with his other cast members.

Furlong too balanced the youthfulness of John Connor with a jaded, cynical young man. He has wonderful interplay with Schwarzenegger as the father figure he would have wanted. Furlong also has great moments with Hamilton. They were sometimes in conflict, but also with deep love between mother and son.

The highlight of Terminator 2 is in its visual effects, one of the four categories where the film was acknowledged with Academy Awards. Even now, almost thirty-five years later, the visual effects not only still stand up well but are quite impressive. Of particular note is the T-1000, this liquid figure that shapes itself and reflects whatever is in front of it. The visual effects heighten the tension and suspense in the film. The escape from the mental hospital with the T-1000 in hot pursuit is thrilling, the visual effects making things more so.

That is not to say that, in retrospect, some of the visual effects are shockingly bad. The brilliant hospital escape is followed by some of the worst rear-screen projections that I have seen. Some of the model work is also a bit weak.

Those are minor points, however. Terminator 2: Judgement Day is probably my favorite action film of all time. I admit to being slightly prejudiced in its favor. I am not unaware of whatever flaws it has. However, I still love the film. I also love the closing song, Guns N' Roses' You Could Be Mine, though I'm not the band's biggest fan.  Terminator 2: Judgement Day is a thrilling action picture with a heart. It is a worthy sequel which I think outdoes the original film. 

Pity that pretty much all that came after never lived up to the first two films. 

DECISION: A-

Godzilla (1998): A Review (Review #2003)

GODZILLA

It can be said that Godzilla is a disaster movie in more ways than one. Perhaps something got lost in the translation. I put it down to something simpler: everyone involved in Godzilla made all the wrong choices.    

What would nuclear bomb tests in French Polynesia matter to researcher Nick Tatopoulos (Matthew Broderick)? He is too busy investigating worms in Chernobyl to pay attention to such things. That is until the U.S. government pulls him out to look into the potential of a strange creature literally leaving its footprints all over the world. He seems perpetually perplexed about this oddball investigation. He is more perplexed by the strange presence of men claiming to be French insurance agents, headed by the mysterious Phillipe Roache (Jean Reno). 

The creature is now racing to The City That Never Sleeps (which if memory serves right, is the actual name that appears on-screen). Colonel Hicks (Kevin Dunn) orders a mass evacuation of the city, over the loud objections of Mayor Ebert (Michael Lerner) and Mayor Ebert's aide, Gene (Lorry Goldman). Mayor Ebert is in the midst of a reelection campaign and fears that this will wreck his chances. Nick offers a plan to capture the creature, but it fails. 

He also, albeit unintentionally, brings more panic when his Nick's ex-girlfriend Audrey Timmons (Maria Pitillo) finds a secret tape revealing that the creature has a name and has been seen before. Eager to advance, she tries to be the one to break the news. However, she is thwarted by her boss, arrogant and egocentric television reporter Charles Caiman (Harry Shearer). Thus, we learn about "Godzilla".

The army and scientists continue to battle against this giant lizard in the perpetual rainstorm. As a side note, it should have been known as The City That Has Endless Rain given how it always seemed to be raining. Not even Seattle gets this much rain. No one will listen to Tatopoulos' warning that Godzilla is pregnant and laying eggs all over the place. While the army, under the bumbling command of Sergeant O'Neal (Doug Savant) attempts to battle Godzilla, the French do listen to Nick. 

Audrey and her cameraman, Victor "Animal" Palotti (Hank Azaria) also go down into the bowels of the big city to find these eggs. Will the army as well as Mayor Ebert and Gene finally see that Nick Tatopoulos is right? Will Godzilla be defeated? Will all the eggs be found, or will one egg escape to hatch for a sequel?

Alas, we will never know, for Godzilla was such a disaster that we never got the trilogy this Godzilla was setting up. This is the first time that I have seen this American adaptation of the long-running Toho series. I think that it is a terrible, terrible film. There are so many reasons for Godzilla being a terrible, terrible film.

I think I will start with the screenplay written by producer Dean Devlin and director Roland Emmerich. Judging from the final product, I do not think that Devlin and Emmerich ever decided if Godzilla was a comedy or a drama. There was this running gag of people constantly mispronouncing or struggling to pronounce "Tatopoulos". Those repeated flubbings, along with Broderick's childlike corrections, consistently fell flat.

The situation, I figure, should be serious. However, it was not taken seriously. Worse, Godzilla could not have fun with the premise either. Savant's scaredy-cat O'Neal seems at odds with the no-nonsense Colonel Hicks. You question Hicks' sanity by appointing O'Neal to be in charge on the ground. Worse, Godzilla ends with O'Neal at what looks like a party with "Animal's" wife Lucy (Arabella Field). Was that another running gag, how Animal was afraid of his wife?

I think this would be a good place to briefly touch on Mayor Ebert and his aide, Gene. This is clearly a swipe at film reviewers (Roger) Ebert and Gene (Siskel). Here is where Godzilla's inability to decide if it is a comedy or drama comes into play. Devlin and Emmerich were getting their frustrations out against Siskel and Ebert by making the characters of Ebert and Gene these incompetent boobs. Fine, I suppose that some fun can be had at the expense of two influential people who have not liked their work. That being said, the casting of Lerner and Goldman is deliberately meant to remind audiences of who they really are supposed to be.

Lerner and Goldman were made to look so much like Ebert and Siskel that no one could have missed what they thought was a clever joke. If you didn't get the joke by the end, their screentime ends with Gene walking out on Ebert, giving him two thumbs down when he tells the Mayor what he thinks of his campaign. I do/did not often agree with Gene Siskel, but here he is right: it was petty. I also agree with Siskel and Ebert that they set up this duo to stand in for Devlin and Emmerich's bête noirs, yet they could not bother to have Godzilla stomp on them. I do not know if audiences really expected Godzilla to stomp on them. I do think that they could have gone all the way with that.

I also think that if they had made Mayor Ebert very thin and attractive, and given perhaps City Councilman or Deputy Mayor Gene a full head of hair, that might have been clever. Instead, they went the easy way but ended up giving everyone nothing.

Another reason why Godzilla failed is in its visual effects. I was reminded of something said, ironically enough by Siskel and Ebert. They held that many visual effects take place in the rain because it makes it easier to obscure the monsters, or something to that effect. Godzilla has a near-permanent rainfall. Granted, I think that there was mention of a hurricane or superstorm beating down on the City That Never Sleeps. However, it does become almost laughable to always have rain. When we do see Godzilla, which I figure is the reason people went to see it, Godzilla is a disappointment. One scene in particular had it look like Godzilla was dry-humping a building. 

It is a bad thing also when the audience is led to think that Godzilla has been killed, but there is still an hour and a half to go in this two hour snoozefest. 

Finally, Godzilla fails because of its performances. Matthew Broderick looks like a child in the film. He also pretty much behaves like one, with a near-permanent look of confusion at whatever happens to be going on. Hank Azaria embarrasses himself with his broad Nuw Yawk accent. That he is actually from New York makes it more embarrassing. His Simpsons costar Harry Shearer was also bad as the obnoxious reporter who was not above sexual harassment of Audrey. I suppose that I should recognize that Shearer was playing obnoxious correctly. As such, he wasn't meant to be likeable. He just never made the case that Charles Caiman would be the premiere news anchor in New York.

Jean Reno was there just for the cash. I figure he was there also to appeal to foreign markets. He was directed to play Godzilla as a comedy. How else to explain his adopting of an Elvis accent to fool U.S. troops that he was a downhome country boy. 

One feels for Maria Patillo, as Godzilla was meant to be her big breakout role. Instead, it became her career death knell, making only two more films and several guest appearances on television since. To be fair, she had a long-running stint on television's Providence, and it is unfair to blame Patillo exclusively for Godzilla ending up a flop. She was given a pretty thankless role as this mix of ninny and shrewd reporter. It was not a good performance, but it was not a good character. I think that Doug Savant gave a worse performance. Savant, coming off a run on Melrose Place, had a similar issue that many in the cast had. He played it as if Godzilla was a comedy. If there were any justice, Savant would have received a Razzie for his performance, not Patillo.

Again, this is not to say that anyone gave a good performance in Godzilla. It is merely to say that some were singled out that perhaps should not have been.

Godzilla is a disaster. It is worse than that. It is boring, visually unappealing and downright moronic. The big lizard deserves so much better. So does the audience. 

DECISION: F

Godzilla: King of the Monsters. A Review

GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS

I was not impressed with the 2014 Godzilla reboot. I was not the only one who noted that a major issue in Godzilla was the absence of Godzilla himself. The production crew of its sequel, Godzilla: King of the Monsters, decided to course correct by heavily featuring our title character. That is a step in the right direction. Pity that everything else is a slog.

Still traumatized from the death of her son, Dr. Emma Russell (Vera Farmiga) channels her grief through her work with the shadowy group known as Monarch. In Monarch's vast facilities, she manages to use her new device, ORCA, to calm down the newest creature birthed at the facility. It is called "Mothra". To everyone's shock, a group of ecoterrorists, headed by Alan Jonah (Charles Dance) storms the facility. They abduct Dr. Russell and her daughter, Madison (Millie Bobby Brown). 

Madison's father, Dr. Mark Russell (Kyle Chandler) is desperate to find his ex-wife and only surviving child. Monarch scientists Drs. Ishiro Serizawa (Ken Watanabe) and Vivienne Graham (Sally Hawkins) for their part want to find ORCA. Yes, they do want to also rescue Emma and Madison, but ORCA will help them with the other Titans, the various creatures now emerging throughout the world. Mark, Serizawa and Graham go to a secret Monarch base in Antartica, where a super-creature dubbed "Monster Zero" is being held. Unfortunately, Jonah got there first. More shocking is that Emma is helping Jonah and his group to release Monster Zero, unleashing a wave of worldwide destruction.

Is this a case of Stockholm syndrome? No, for Emma is firmly in cahoots with Jonah. She has decided that the only way to save the earth from ecological disaster is to purge the human population by letting the Titans run loose. Now it becomes an endless battle between Emma/Jonah and Mark/Monarch to see who will triumph. 

This will mean a literal Clash of the Titans. Monster Zero, revealed as King Ghidorah, takes its many heads to do battle against none other than Godzilla. Mothra and Rodan also join the battle. This battle royale will cost some of our characters' lives, but who will ultimately win: Ghidorah or Godzilla? Who will in the end be King of the Monsters?

If anything, I can give Godzilla: King of the Monsters credit for playing all of this so seriously. There was no winking to the camera. There was no real sense of fun save perhaps for Bradley Whitford's Dr. Rick Stanton. Godzilla: King of the Monsters was going to play all this straight. That perhaps was why it ended up being, well, a bit boring.

Granted, not as boring as its predecessor. However, its two-hour-plus runtime meant that it became a bit convoluted at times. Perhaps screenwriters Zach Shields and Michael Dougherty (the latter directing) would have done better to not give the audience a bit of a bait-and-switch with the kidnapping part. If Emma is working with Jonah to essentially wipe out much of humanity to start the world fresh, it might have been better to have her steal the ORCA from the get-go. 

King of the Monsters has a major handicap in that it expects the audience to have vast knowledge of the various monsters flapping about. I'm sure those well-versed in Godzilla lore were excited to see Mothra, Rodan, and Ghidorah battling it out. For most, I figure, we would be a bit perplexed.

The performances enhance the serious nature of King of the Monsters. Vera Farmiga is such an underused talent. It is almost a shame to see her in schlock like this. She does take all this seriously, her scene explaining the need to let the Titans run rampant as good an effort to play giant lizards on a rampage straightforward. However, it seemed to be a bit too serious to where it is dour.

Kyle Chandler, ever youthful, was so intensely angry as to veer close to parody. I honestly cannot remember Millie Bobby Brown in this. She was, I figure, meant to be her parents' conscience. I did not get the sense that she was anything. Watanabe kept to the serious tone King of the Monsters had. His sacrifice, I figure, was meant to be moving and tragic. I just figured this was a way to save him from more Godzilla movies. I thought that of every major character who met their doom. 

Godzilla: King of the Monsters was big. It was loud. It pushed to being spectacle and exciting. I will concede that it was a step better than the first film of this revived franchise. Amid all the destruction, I did not care about the humans. I do not think that is a good thing. It is not a terrible film. If it is on, it will serve as background noise. It just falls a bit short, which is something not often associated with Titans.

DECISION: C-

The Poseidon Adventure: A Review

THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE

There is a vicarious thrill in seeing others in danger, seeing who will live and who will die. The Poseidon Adventure may not be the first disaster film with an all-star cast in it. However, I find it wildly entertaining, slightly kitschy but with some surprisingly moving moments too.

It is New Year's Eve, and the ocean liner Poseidon is sailing to Greece on its final voyage. The Poseidon's Captain (Leslie Nielsen) is firmly against racing the ship to be junked and repeatedly warns the Poseidon's new owner Linarcos (Fred Sadoff) that the ship does not have enough ballast to go as fast as Linarcos wants.

The passengers, however, are oblivious to what is going on in the captain's deck. Robin Shelby (Eric Shay), traveling to join his parents in Greece, might know. He repeatedly visits the captain's deck and engine room, fascinated by the ship's mechanics. His sister Susan (Pamela Sue Martin) is fascinated in turn by renegade minister Reverend Scott (Gene Hackman). He is unorthodox both in his methods and his theology, much to the consternation of his mentor Chaplain John (Arthur O'Connell). 

One couple that will not be hearing Reverend Scott's message are Manny (Jack Albertson) and Belle (Shelley Winters) Rosen. They are on their way to Israel to visit their first grandchild. Belle has informally adopted James Martin (Red Buttons), an unmarried recently retired haberdasher. Also aboard the Poseidon is Nonnie (Carol Lynley), the Poseidon house band's singer who traded their services for free passage. Busboy Acres (Roddy McDowell) loves to hear them play. For their part, newlyweds Mike and Linda Rogo (Ernest Borgnine and Stella Stevens) are in turns defiant and leery about the other passengers. Mike has recently retired from the New York City Police Department, where he met his wife, who was a former hooker. 

As it is New Year's Eve, a lavish party takes place. The Rosens and Mr. Martin are at the table with Reverend Scott. Robin and Susan Shelby are at another. The Rogos are mostly thrilled to be at the Captain's Table. He is urgently called up to the deck, where he learns that an underground earthquake has created a massive tidal wave that is about to hit the Poseidon. The tidal wave swamps the Poseidon, forcing the ship over and causing the passengers to literally fly through the air. With the ship now upside down, Reverend Scott gets our disparate group to go up. Who will live and who will die as the situation grows more perilous? 

I confess that my favorite part of The Poseidon Adventure is when the New Year's Eve party descends into total chaos. Seeing all our stars and the various extras and stunt actors slowly, then quickly falling and flying about is both thrilling and hilarious to me. I get that this is supposed to be terrifying, and it is. However, I have always found it a bit funny, seeing all these people attempt to keep themselves up while they are turning upside down. The highlight of this sequence is when one of the doomed passengers falls onto the glass ceiling, putting the coda on this thrilling segment of the film.

What screenwriters Stirling Silliphant and Wendell Mayes (adapting Paul Gallico's novel) did well is to take time to establish the various characters and their situations prior to the chaos. We learn about the Rosen's hopes to see their new grandchild, Mr. Martin's loneliness, Reverend Scott's rebellious nature, Mike and Linda Rogo's tumultuous pasts, Robin's precociousness and Susan's unrequited love for the radical preacher. By getting to know the characters, we end up caring about them. We have a vested interest in what happens to them. 

We also know that, in good disaster movie tradition, not all of them will survive. That is part of the thrill: to see who ultimately makes it out alive. Perhaps this is a spoiler, but The Poseidon Adventure seems pretty hard on wives. The thrill comes from seeing not just who lives and dies but how they live and die.

The Poseidon Adventure does well to take its time not just building up the characters but building up suspense. It takes close to half an hour before we get to the tidal wave, leaving the audience in anticipation. Once we do get that climatic moment over with, The Poseidon Adventure becomes a survival film, introducing new obstacles and terrors for our passengers.

An element that I do not know is talked about often enough is how these passengers are not perfect. Scott and Rogo are almost always at odds, constantly battling over the rightness or wrongness of every decision. The conflict leaves the others more terrified, but it also seems real. Rogo does not argue just to contradict Scott. He has genuine fears and concerns. Scott, for his part, is arrogant and utterly convinced that he is always right. These are two alpha males battling it out for supremacy. It is great to watch.

The Poseidon Adventure boasts five Oscar winners (Borgnine, Buttons, Winters and Albertson, with Hackman winning his first Oscar during the film's making). As campy as The Poseidon Adventure may be, none of them phoned it in. Shelley Winters was singled out from the cast with a Best Supporting Actress nomination. As Belle Rosen, she gives a solid performance. While I think her comments about her weight and vocal mannerisms may now be mocked, her last scene was surprisingly moving. Belle Rosen genuinely cared for James Martin in a way only a Jewish mother could. She and Albertson worked well together, making the Rosens a nice couple.

They seemed to be counter to the Rogos, who were closer to comic relief. Stella Stevens in particular as the brassy ex-hooker who could tell Mike to cool it when needed. She too takes potshots at Belle, at one point openly saying that she would go first so that she wouldn't get trapped behind Belle if something else happened. Ernest Borgnine balanced his sometimes-unhinged overprotectiveness and defensiveness about Linda with his constant battling with Scott. Red Buttons had a more difficult task: making the Martin/Nonnie relationship work.

The late Gene Hackman excelled as God's angry man who was angry with God. He was defiant and kindhearted when needed. Reverend Scott was strong and arrogant but also genuinely pained whenever someone did not survive.  

Lynley's Nonnie was quite annoying, forever freaking out over everything. She also had the burden of apparently falling in love with a man almost old enough to be her grandfather. However, she and Buttons made that part of the film work. She also introduced The Morning After, the film's theme song that won Best Original Song. John Williams' score, also Oscar nominated, is not often mentioned when people go over his cinematic work. I think it should be more remembered, bringing out the danger and thrills of the film's story.

A bit kitschy and camp (Buttons telling Nonnie, "Your brother's dead" or Rogo ranting about his Linda lend themselves to parody), The Poseidon Adventure never skimps on what audiences wanted from it: thrills, some laughs, and a great adventure story. 

DECISION: A- (9/10)

Blood Diamond: A Review (Review #1979)

BLOOD DIAMOND

I have found that, on occasion, filmmakers will couch a message in their films. Blood Diamond uses a lot of action as a way of informing us to the evils of illegal diamond trading to finance wars. A bit heavy-handed and far longer than it should it, Blood Diamond has one particularly good performance and one serviceable one to make it worth seeing.

Sierra Leone, 1999. Humble fisherman Solomon Vandy (Djimon Hounsou) lives quietly with his wife, two daughters and son Dia (Kagiso Kuypers). Things are peaceful until the Revolutionary United Front, an armed group attempting to overthrow the government, storms into his village. They kill and maim the population, with Solomon being spared due only to him making for a good slave.

His task, along with other men, is to search for diamonds. These diamonds, known as conflict or blood diamonds, will be smuggled from Sierra Leone to Liberia, where they can be certified as conflict-free and thus legal for sale. Diamond companies, aware of the deception, will then buy them and either keep them in vaults to increase demand or create jewels for the international market. Solomon has found a very rare pink diamond and attempts to escape with it, hoping to use it to buy his family's way out of Africa. Caught by the evil Captain Poison (David Harewood), Solomon has the first of many fortunate escapes when government troops find the rebel camp and is arrested.

In jail, Poison's loud revelation of Solomon's find catches the attention of Rhodesian mercenary David Archer (Leonardo DiCaprio). Archer, a gun and diamond smuggler, gets Solomon out of jail and is desperate for him to tell him where Solomon buried the pink diamond. Solomon wants nothing to do with Archer or that cursed diamond. When Sierra Leone's capital of Freetown falls to the RUF, however, Solomon agrees to work with Archer in exchange for Archer helping locate Solomon's family and get them out.

Easier said than done, for Archer is under pressure from his former commander and frenemy Colonel Coetzee (Arnold Vosloo) to get the diamond too. Archer wants the diamond to finance his own way out of Africa and plans to betray both Solomon and Coetzee. He, however, had not counted on American journalist Maddy Bowen (Jennifer Connelly). Investigating the connection between blood diamonds and the powerful Van De Kaap family/diamond corporation, the beautiful Vital Affairs Magazine reporter has Archer slowly questioning his life choices. 

Solomon and Archer, having joined forces, now go to find the pink diamond. Solomon, horrified that Dia has been brainwashed into being a RUF child soldier, attempts to rescue his son. That ends in disaster, but luck is still with Solomon and Archer. Will Solomon and his family escape this nightmare? Will Maddy expose the evil Rudolph Van De Kaap (Marius Weyers) and his aide Mr. Simmons (Michael Sheen)? Who will live and who will die?

I am sure that I saw Blood Diamond when it was released. I, however, do not remember it being as long as it is. At nearly two-and-a-half hours, Blood Diamond is a surprisingly long film. This is a major flaw in Blood Diamond (no pun intended). Charles Leavitt's screenplay (with story by Leavitt and C. Gaby Mitchell) has a curious habit of going on either going on tangents or attempting almost to make two films. For the former, there is when Archer, Solomon and Maddy stumble onto the school of Benjamin Magai (Basil Wallace). Magai has rescued child soldiers and provided refuge and education for them. When looking for Dia, Magai goes with them and ends up getting shot but not killed by child RUF soldier Dead Body. Magai's cheerful, almost naive manner is bizarre given how he should know how traumatized and indoctrinated the child soldiers are.

He does survive, but once he's helicoptered to the hospital, we never see or hear from or about him again. Was he there just to remind us how amputations of African de facto slaves began under the Belgian King Leopold II? Leopold exploited Africa for his own gain, but how he is responsible for creating RUF child soldiers or the RUF leaders using alcohol, drugs and mental manipulation to both terrorize and indoctrinate children no one answers. 

As stated, Blood Diamond also seems to want to make a whole film about child soldiers. A surprising amount of time is taken up by Dia's turn into a RUF zombie. In a very curious choice by director Edward Zwick, the film cuts between a group of journalists coming across the aftereffects of a RUF/government battle and the training and manipulating of Dia and the other children. This decision to go from the journalists to the child soldiers and then back to the journalists undercuts both stories.

In fairness, Blood Diamond did precede Beasts of No Nation, which is also about African child soldiers, by almost a decade.

Both Leonardo DiCaprio and Djimon Hounsou received Oscar nominations for their performances in Lead and Supporting Actor respectively. This was DiCaprio's third nomination out of a current six (one win) and Hounsou's second and currently final nod. Hounsou's nomination was well deserved. 

His performance is exceptionally strong as the father caught in these terrible circumstances. Hounsou brings Solomon's continuous shock and determination to survive to life with great compassion. I questioned both his stubborn insistence on total honesty even when it harmed him and his apparent stupidity in trying to rescue Dia with only a vague plan. However, one can sympathize with Solomon, who is put in terrible circumstances and attempts to do the best that he can.

DiCaprio is a bit hit-and-miss. This was a banner year for DiCaprio who had a nomination for Blood Diamond while also starring in that year's Best Picture winner The Departed. Perhaps the Academy gave him a nomination for Blood Diamond over The Departed because his Afrikaner accent was slightly more believable than his Boston accent. Technically, Danny Archer was Rhodesian (what is now Zimbabwe) and not South African, but he did grow up in South Africa. DiCaprio is an actor who apparently went through an "accents showcase my versatility" period. While his Afrikaner tones were not awful, they did at times feel a bit forced and mannered. It comes across as an actor trying too hard. I think we are meant to focus on Archer's evolution from merciless mercenary to more compassionate person. He did a good job of that, good not great. However, his accent is again someone trying too hard. 

This is especially the case when DiCaprio shares scenes with Arnold Vosloo, who is South African. While he is best known as Imhotep in 1999's The Mummy, Vosloo was quietly effective and menacing as Colonel Coetzee. It is a shame that Vosloo was not given the Archer role. I understand why: Leonardo DiCaprio can open a film, Arnold Vosloo cannot. However, I think Vosloo would not have struggled with the accent the way that DiCaprio did. 

I wonder if the Connelly character was even necessary. Was she there to provide Archer with something of a love interest (the film does have them appear to be interested in each other)? Would it have made the film better if Bowen had been a man? Out of the three leads, this was probably the weakest.

The subject of blood diamonds seems to have been pretty much forgotten now. Whether it is due to the various conflicts no longer ongoing, the overall market being more effective in monitoring conflict diamonds or a lack of interest I cannot say. It is not a totally lost opportunity to mix a serious message with a lot of action. Blood Diamond did a serviceable job, but it is far too long to reach the levels it aspired to. 

DECISION: C+

Thunderbolts*: A Review

THUNDERBOLTS*

When I think on Thunderbolts*, the newest episode of the world's longest and most expensive soap opera, I don't think "why" so much as "who". The "who" is both as in "who is this made for?" and "who are these people?". Thunderbolts* is not terrible. It just was there.

Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh) is so tired and so bored with her job of being a hitwoman and agent to CIA director/Tulsi Gabbard lookalike Valentina de Fontaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus). She wants out, or at least assignments that don't require killing and destruction. Valentina, facing impeachment for her nefarious work, agrees and has her take one last assignment: destroying a secret lab to cover up de Fontaine's nefarious work.

Ah, beware those last assignments, for this was really a trap to get all of de Fontaine's rogue agents to kill each other off. In a case of Spy vs. Spy, Yelena's intended target of John Walker/ex-Captain America 2.0 (Wyatt Russell) is there to kill Ava Starr/Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen). Ghost is there to kill Antonia Dreykov/Taskmaster (Olga Kurylenko), who is there to kill Yelena. Out of this international Mexican standoff, only Starr manages her task. Exactly how random man Bob (Lewis Pullman), who is also in the lab, fits into all this we do not know.  

De Fontaine, along with her excessively loyal aide Mel (Geraldine Viswanathan), is stunned to find that Bob is alive. He was a new experiment that managed to live, delighting de Fontaine. Not delighting her is how the other agents also live and are now on the run. Bob's powers are growing, but will de Fontaine manage to make use of them to starve off impeachment? 

Into this comes Yelena's father, Alexei Shostakov/Red Guardian (David Harbour) as well as Congressman James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes (Sebastian Stan). They join forces when they see that de Fontaine will not stop until they are killed and she gains full control over Bob. Bob is now de Fontaine's newest creation, Sentry. Sentry/Bob, who has struggled for years with both self-esteem and drug addiction, now grows both more powerful and more dangerous. He has the power to plunge people into shadow, requiring the newly formed Thunderbolts (Alexei naming them as such in honor of Yelena's childhood soccer team) to enter Sentry's void to sort out his issues. Will de Fontaine manage to get away with her new plan of "the New Avengers"? What of the mysterious outer space craft that the New Avengers/Thunderbolts see on the screen in the second post-credit scene, with a Number Four prominently displayed on it?

I do not know if it is a good thing that, while watching Thunderbolts* (the asterisk apparently to signal their unofficial name versus the New Avengers moniker), I actually wanted de Fontaine's plan for them to kill each other off to work. In a sense, it did: Taskmaster was killed. However, I think by now the issue with Thunderbolts* or any upcoming Marvel Cinematic Universe film is that you need to know so much of what happened before that if you don't, you will be lost. At the minimum, you won't care. I remember Yelena and Alexei from Black Widow. I've seen de Fontaine before. I have seen Bucky before (and as a side note, never liked him). 

However, Thunderbolts* really expects the audience to have an almost encyclopedia-level knowledge to know or even remember who the characters are. Ghost appeared in Ant-Man and the Wasp, which was seven years ago and who hasn't to my knowledge or memory been part of the MCU since. Black Widow was four years ago. That was the first appearance of Taskmaster. She pops up and is popped so quickly in Thunderbolts* that it is a puzzle on why she was there at all. There is brief mention of events from Captain America: Brave New World, which was a mere two months ago, so I guess that is an improvement. I never saw the Disney+ show The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, so this is my first introduction to John Walker. As such, I had a lot of filling in to do. 

For those complaining that Thunderbolts* is the B-Team of the MCU (and to be fair, the closing credits naming them as such was a nice touch), I would offer that the MCU is digging deep into the barrel if your antagonist is Valentina de Fontaine. Julia Louis-Dreyfus' take on the character has always been more comedic in my memory, a bit of a bumbler who tries to be some sort of master manipulator and fails at it. I do not know if Louis-Dreyfus or director Jake Schrieder actually tried to make de Fontaine a true villainess. However, when Louis-Dreyfus as de Fontaine exclaims, "Righteousness without power is just an opinion," the audience laughed. Was that intentional? 

The end result for me was that de Fontaine did not come across as a genuine threat. She came across as a smug, obnoxious twit who has inexplicable political power.

One thing that I found also inexplicable is why Thunderbolts* was edited the way that it was. The film cuts between the four-way Mexican standoff in the lab and the Washington, D.C. soiree that de Fontaine is throwing. I think that Eric Pearson and Joanna Calo's screenplay wanted us to connect the two events. I just think that the back-and-forth did not work. I also do not know how Alexei went from being a limo driver in Mother Russia to a limo driver in Washington, D.C. who conveniently overhears de Fontaine's plans for the human targets. What exactly are the odds that Alexei would be the limo driver? 

Worse is how what is meant as a tense action scene with Walker, Starr and Yelena escaping in Alexei's limo, the button that Alexei hits does not launch a missile but starts playing Ginuwine's Pony. It is enough to give MCU humor a bad name. 

Again, when Thunderbolts* wanted to be exciting and dare I say sincere, it did not work. When Sentry goes rogue and becomes Void (whom I called Shadows because that is what he looked like to me), a lot of it had me rolling my eyes. Of particular note is when the various New Avengers started saving people from Sentry/Void's purging. All I could think of was, "if these people do not have enough sense to get out of the way when objects are flying about them, they kind of deserve to be crushed". By the time we get to Void's surreal world, I was as bored as Yelena was.

I think Yelena's boredom was actually Florence Pugh's boredom with being in Thunderbolts*. I'm sure that she was well-paid for her lack of efforts. She reminded me of Madeline Kahn's performance in Blazing Saddles to where she would make for an excellent Lily Von Shtupp parody. Given that Kahn's character was meant to be a Marlene Dietrich parody, I do not know whether that is a compliment or insult for Pugh. 

Harbour was appropriately hammy as Alexei/Red Guardian. Thunderbolts* has two nepo babies: Wyatt Russell (son of Kurt and Goldie Hawn) and Lewis Pullman (son of Bill). I am not familiar with the previous work of either. I think Russell commended himself well as the obnoxious "Junior Varsity Captain America" as de Fontaine mockingly calls him. I was not impressed with Pullman, though to be fair Bob was not a particularly great character. Like another 2025 nepo baby, Pullman looks a bit too much like his father to let me fully separate them in my mind. Stan, John-Kamen and Viswanathan were fine but again, limited by the script. 

The mid-credit scene was bad (Alexei harassing a random grocery shopper to show her his face on a Wheaties box) and the post-credit scene was there to connect Thunderbolts* to the upcoming Fantastic Four: First Steps. I did not hate Thunderbolts*. However, I did wonder that with them being the New Avengers, how will that work with the Young Avengers teased in The Marvels? In the end, to my mind Thunderbolts* are not go. 

DECISION: D+