Ethel (2012): A Review (Review #2170)

ETHEL (2012)

It is said that behind every great man, there is a great woman. I consider Robert F. Kennedy a great man. As such, would I consider Ethel Skakel Kennedy a great woman? Ethel, the documentary about the Widow Kennedy, shows a loving and devoted spouse to one of the most beloved political figures of the mid twentieth century. It does not, however, show us who she is apart from her beloved.

Ethel is directed by Mrs. Kennedy's youngest daughter, Rory, who was born after her father's assassination in 1968. Mrs. Kennedy, then 83, is pretty dismissive about the entire project. "All this introspection, I HATE IT!", Ethel Kennedy says somewhat in jest. One senses that Mrs. Kennedy considers a documentary about her a silly endeavor. Fortunately, all of Robert and Ethel's surviving children are also interviewed to fill in gaps that Mrs. Kennedy would rather not go into.

Mrs. Kennedy is very forthcoming about her own early years as a Skakel. Her family and the Kennedy family share many similarities. Both are large Irish Catholic families. Both had a fierce competitive streak. However, there were marked differences. The Kennedys were posher and more intellectually bent. They for example, as Ethel points out, discussed current events at dinner, which started at 7:15 on the dot. The Skakels, for their part, could start dinner at 5 pm or 10 pm and were more rambunctious. Her family was also self-made, with her father working to build up his fortune. The Kennedys, conversely, were essentially to the manor born. 

Ethel had no shame in being a respectable albeit rebellious figure. She got along fabulously with her school roommate, Jean Kennedy. They also delighted in innocent scrapes. For example, they had received enough demerits to be prohibited from attending an event by the school. Ethel reports that she and Jean found the book, burned it, and attended the event anyway.

It was through Jean that she met Jean's younger brother, Robert. In her own words, Robert was considered the runt of the litter. He was smaller than his siblings, especially his older brother John whom Bobby idolized. However, he had a fierce determination to succeed. Ethel reports that he played football at Harvard because he showed up an hour earlier and left an hour later than everyone else. He even managed to letter in football despite playing with a broken leg. "He really wanted that letter," Ethel reflects.

Ethel was smitten on first sight, stating "Wow!" when asked what her first impression of Bobby was. She managed to win him over after her sister, whom he was dating, found another man. Once hitched, she was thoroughly devoted to him. Ethel was with him as he worked in government and helped Jack reach the Presidency. She brought the kids to committee meetings. She felt it was vitally important for them to see what he did. She also felt that the children needed to see how the other half lived; however, she was frozen out by Bobby when President Kennedy was assassinated. "It was like Daddy had lost both his arms", Ethel says. Ethel could not reach her husband until he set a goal to climb the recently renamed Mt. Kennedy in Canada. He did not enjoy a single minute of the expedition. However, in the most reflective moment in Ethel, she saw that it helped him finally emerge from his overwhelming grief.

Now, he starts out his own campaign, first for Senate for New York, then for the Presidency. Robert was not a natural campaigner, awkward and hesitant. Robert, however, knew that Ethel was what got him through. After his assassination though, Ethel emerged to forge something of her own life.

Ethel shows that her children clearly love Mommy and Daddy. It shows that Mommy loved Daddy (the now adult children always refer to Robert and Ethel as Mommy and Daddy). Ethel herself refers to her husband as "Daddy". The various Kennedy siblings ranging from the oldest, Kathleen Kennedy Townsend to now Health and Human Services Secretary Robert Kennedy Jr. and Kerry, the youngest sister outside director Rory all share their various memories of both Daddy and Mommy. In that regard, Ethel is a pleasant love letter to their mother.

Ethel also has a wealth of archival footage. Of particular note is the wedding of Robert and Ethel, which shows a surprisingly lighthearted, even goofy side to the bride and bridegroom. The viewer gets anecdotes both amusing and mundane. For example, Robert Kennedy Jr. remembers that Mommy could not cook at all. Daddy, he observes, did not marry Mommy for her cooking. Something that does take even Ethel by surprise is the statistic that she was pregnant for 99 months of her life. That is unsurprising given that Robert & Ethel had eleven children. Ethel makes quick note that two of those children were dead when the documentary was made: David in 1984 of an overdose and Michael in 1987 in a skiing accident. 

However, Ethel has a curious flaw. It is Ethel Kennedy herself. Ethel makes clear that this is not a woman who gives the past much thought. She is not one for reflecting or thinking on her impact in history. Some of that hesitancy is understandable. When they get to the assassination, one senses Rory attempting to draw more reflection out of her mother. "Then we lost Daddy", she says. Looking clearly uncomfortable, the Widow Kennedy merely states "Let's talk about something else", in a terse tone.

Senator Kennedy's assassination is a major part of Ethel Kennedy's life story. However, she will not delve into any aspect of it. Ethel Kennedy appears to already be reluctant to talk about herself. She seems perfectly happy to talk about her husband and her children. She can reflect on some of her in-laws. She can talk about the joys of campaigning for Jack in his various races. Ethel Kennedy, however, never mentions her sister-in-law, Jacqueline Kennedy. 

A lot of the reflections and memories in Ethel are more from director Rory Kennedy's siblings than her surviving parent. That is not a bad thing. It is just that in some ways, Ethel is guarded about the documentary subject. It is almost as if Ethel is less documentary and more family home movie. Mrs. Kennedy had been a widow for forty-four years when Ethel was released. Yet, for a film that runs one hour and thirty-seven minutes, it devotes about the last ten to those forty-four years. She created the Robert F. Kennedy Center shortly after the assassination. She had to raise those eleven children without the love of her life (the oldest was seventeen, the youngest was born six months after Kennedy's death). She had a long second act, yet Ethel devotes almost no time to that second act.

In a very curious and strange way, Ethel makes it look like she is a coda to RFK's life. She was a partner, an advisor, a champion to Robert F. Kennedy. Somehow, Ethel does not make the case that she was anything other than a spouse and not a woman of her own separate from her husband and his legacy. 

One senses that she was more than that. Part of me understands that Ethel Kennedy did not see herself in lofty terms. She, at the end of the film, all but bristles at the idea that she could take any credit for her children to be involved in public service. I also suspect that Ethel Kennedy did not want to reflect on herself post-assassination even if she thought looking at the past was worth the time. However, for someone who wants to know what made Ethel Kennedy tick or wanted to know what her life was after June 4, 1968, Ethel gives them very little.

I saw a bit of my own mother in Ethel Kennedy. Both put family first. Both were not big into reflecting on the past. Both were more about the today than the yesterday. Ethel is a respectable portrait of a matriarch. Ethel Kennedy lived twelve years after Ethel premiered, dying in 2024. Ethel is a good primer into one of the unsung heroines of this political dynasty. It gives us a look into her long life with Robert F. Kennedy. Ethel might not be the intimate portrait of this political spouse that I think many might have expected or wanted. Then again, I figure that is exactly how Ethel Kennedy would want it. 

DECISION: B-

Dr. Strangelove: A Review

DR. STRANGELOVE

The Cold War was never so outrageous and outlandish than it was in Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. A brisk runtime, brilliant performances and a sharp, satirical screenplay make Dr. Strangelove simultaneously hilarious and horrifying.

Group Captain Lionel Mandrake (Peter Sellers) is part of an officer exchange program and currently stationed at the U.S. military base Burpleson. His commanding officer, Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper (Sterling Hayden) has ordered Mandrake to issue Wing Attack Plan R and seize all civilian radios. Unbeknownst to Mandrake, Wing Attack Plan R is an order to drop nuclear bombs over Soviet targets. Upon receiving the plans, Major Kong (Slim Pickens) is surprised and alarmed. He knows what the plan is. He also knows that he has received orders and will carry them through. 

News of the order takes the Pentagon by surprise. No such orders were issued by them or by President Merkin Muffley (Sellers). Holding an emergency meeting, Muffley allows the Soviet ambassador Alexi de Sadesky (Peter Bull) entry into the War Room. This does not sit well with General Buck Turgidson (George C. Scott), convinced that the entire thing is a Commie plot to destabilize the U.S. and look at the War Room's "big board".

Ripper has ordered the strike because the Communists have polluted his "precious bodily fluids". Mandrake now realizes that Ripper is totally bonkers. He also realizes that, owing to excessive planning, Ripper is the only one with the correct code to cancel the planned strikes. President Muffley orders the military to retake Burpleson. He also attempts to get in touch with Soviet Premiere Dimitri Kissov, who is currently drunk. 

General Ripper meets his own end. Fortunately, Mandrake has figured out the recall code. Unfortunately, Colonel "Bat" Guano (Keenan Wynn) is no help in helping Mandrake reach the President. Finally, all the planes are recalled, and the nuclear attack is avoided. Or so it seems. One plane, disabled and low on fuel, is still flying. That is Major Kong's plane. Will they reach their target? Will the secret doomsday device that the Soviets have created be triggered, ushering in total nuclear Armageddon? Will the mysterious German scientist Dr. Strangelove (Sellers) help his Fuhrer Muffley in surviving what now seems inevitable? Will we meet again some sunny day?

One of the many elements that elevate Dr. Strangelove is how everyone functions surprisingly fine despite all the lunacy going on around them. Take for example how Colonel Guano stubbornly refuses to help Mandrake get change needed to complete a call to the White House. He balks at giving him change and is extremely reluctant to use his weapon to get change from the vending machine. He eventually does but suggests that vandalizing private property will be the worst part of this ensuing crisis. 

Everything about this exchange is brilliant in its banality. One can imagine people having difficulty placing a telephone call when they do not have enough cash to pay. You add the need to call the President. You throw in how this call is what could decide the fate of the world. 

The blending of the bureaucratic with the urgent makes so much of Dr. Strangelove funny. Another example is when President Muffley and Premiere Kissov are attempting to locate the rouge plane. They suspect that the target is a facility near the city of Omsk. No one, however, seems to have the facility's contact information. Muffley, repeating what Kissov is telling him, says, "Just ask for Omsk Information". That alone, the idea of calling a general service for information at a critical moment, is funny. Add the element of the President being almost apologetic about things, and the moment becomes macabre humor.

Dr. Strangelove has more comedy thanks to the performances. Peter Sellers has a set of three bravura performances in the film. Each of his roles showcases Sellers' exceptional abilities. Group Captain Mandrake is almost a parody of the stiff-upper lip British officer. He is aware of the mad goings-on yet remains surprisingly unflappable. He does not become hysterical when he realizes how insane Ripper is. Instead, he tries to keep calm and carry on.

Sellers continues his excellent work with President Muffley. I figure that Sellers and director Stanley Kubrick were deliberately evoking then-United Nations Ambassador and two-time Democratic Party candidate Adlai Stevenson. Sellers, speaking with a solid American accent, showed Merkin Muffley to be decent but ineffective and a bit of a bumbler. This role, intentionally or not, also bring back the idea of Stevenson as an "egghead": bald and erudite, well-meaning but clueless.  

Despite being the title character, Sellers' third character of Dr. Strangelove is the smallest of his roles. Here, he has a bizarre not-quite-German accent and a high, nasal tone. However, that lends the character a more unhinged manner. We know that he once worked with the Nazis given that he accidentally refers to the President as "Mein Fuhrer" at least twice. Sellers' delivery of one line reveals Strangelove's love of death. As he discusses with Muffley the potential of living underground with a select group of people, he talks about what they would need. "Nuclear reactors could provide power almost indefinitely. Greenhouses could maintain plant life. Animals could be bred and slaughtered," extending the last word in an almost orgasmic glee. 

As Strangelove begins losing control of his body, Peter Sellers shows how his genocidal inclinations are finding a new outlet. Presumably, Strangelove participated in the Holocaust. Now, he gets a larger chance of worldwide extermination. 

All three roles are so brilliantly acted by Peter Sellers. The rest of his castmates are not far behind either. Sterling Hayden is calm and certain as the mad General Jack D. Ripper. He keeps things in an even tone when speaking with crazed certainty about the dangers his "precious bodily fluids" have faced. He tells Mandrake that he discovered this "Commie plot" during, as Ripper describes it, "the physical act of love". His calm but gruff manner reveals a man totally convinced that he is right, even if he is clearly insane. The two other roles that look exaggerated are not. I would say that Slim Pickens' Major "King" Kong and George C. Scott's General Buck Turgidson are meant to be over-the-top.

Pickens makes Major Kong into a man set to fulfill his mission. His final scene of Kong riding the bomb into certain death, whopping it up like a rider at a rodeo, is simultaneously funny and frightening. Scott, I understand, was hoodwinked into making Turgidson into a clownish figure. However, I think if this is true, Scott did not "understand the assignment". Turgidson was meant to be an idiot, one more fixated on going back to his mistress than on his job. He is the embodiment of the witless bureaucrat focused on nonsensical minutia than on the big picture, even if it is on the big board. The delight that he expresses when describing "low casualties" of this impending disaster is, like much of Dr. Strangelove, chilling and amusing. Dr. Strangelove also has the good fortune of featuring James Earl Jones in his film debut as Lieutenant Zogg, one of the bomber pilots. 

"Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say that no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops, depending on the breaks". His efforts to spin this into a positive add the element of the bizarre into an already loony situation. Buck's obliviousness to those deaths makes him just as crazy as General Jack D. Ripper.

Director Stanley Kubrick drew excellent performances out his entire cast. His filming was also well-executed. The film breaks from a cinematic feel when the troops are attempting to retake Camp Burpleson. Here, Kubrick decided to make it look like actual war footage. It is a credit to him that this break does not affect how the film works.

Kubrick co-adapted Peter George's novel Red Alert along with George and Terry Southern. The film has a lot of wit and dark humor. One of the film's most famous lines is, "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the War Room!", a line that underscores Dr. Strangelove's sharp irony. The film's closing of the optimistic We'll Meet Again as nuclear bombs go off all over the world also underscores the black humor mixed in with the terrible tragedy of total destruction. However, Dr. Strangelove is filled with sharp wit and bitter irony. Almost all the characters' names add to the wit and sarcasm.

Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper. Major "King" Kong. Dr. Strangelove, as in a strange love of mass murder. Perhaps Colonel "Bat" Guano is a bit too much. However, it is not a major factor. It also helps that Keenan Wynn made a good impression in his brief role. 

It is to the film's immense credit that Dr. Strangelove runs a shockingly short 94 minutes. One does not notice how quickly the film goes in terms of runtime. Perhaps brevity really is the soul of wit.

Dr. Strangelove is amusing and terrifying in how it makes the end of the world look almost like farce. Everything in the film works to a brilliant level. Dr. Strangelove can certainly more than walk.

DECISION: A+

Tuner: A Review

TUNER

One might be surprised to see an action film where the lead is a piano tuner. However, that is exactly what one will get in Tuner. Never overstaying its welcome, Tuner has solid performances and an engaging story that should entertain viewers.

Niki White (Leo Woodall) was once a highly talented pianist. He was forced to withdraw from this, however, due to his growing hyperacusis. He now works as a piano tuner apprentice to friend and jazz aficionado Harry Horowitz (Dustin Hoffman). Niki enjoys Harry's company as well as that of Harry's wife Marla (Tovah Feldshuh). Harry, who is becoming more forgetful, changed his safe's combination and cannot remember to what. Niki offers to help find the new combination through studying how to open safes and his own unique hearing issues.

He is surprised to find himself a solid safecracker. He also finds himself at first irritated by Ruthie (Havana Rose Liu). She is an aspiring pianist and composer who is irritated that her practice time is being swallowed up by Niki's tuning. However, she is impressed at how Niki can identify the various notes and keys with ease. Harry attempts to play matchmaker between Ruthie and Niki, but no dice from either.

Harry has a health scare requiring hospitalization. This puts Niki solely in charge of a new job at a charity event. Niki is forced to work late and encounters a trio of thieves attempting to break into a safe. In exchange for leaving him to work in total silence, Niki cracks open the safe. Ringleader Uri (Lior Raz) is impressed by Niki's mad skills. He offers Niki work as a safecracker. Owing to Harry's continuing hospital bills and potential loss of his business, Niki eventually accepts.

Niki now leads a double life. He and Ruthie do eventually begin a romance. He also becomes adept at safecracking. This delights Uri, his partner in crime Yoni (Gil Cohen) and Uri's idiot nephew Benny (Nissan Sakira) who begin finding booming business breaking into various homes.

Things come to a head though when Niki is brought in for a new job involving Koreans wanting the codes to a cryptocurrency account. He does manage the job, but the Korean's uncle arrives unexpectedly. This leads to a chain of events that put everyone's lives in danger. Will Niki keep Ruthie safe? Will a previous heist end up costing Niki his freedom? Marius Maissner (Jean Reno), who is Ruthie's idol and potential mentor, is astonished to find his grandmother's Holocaust watch on her wrist. Will Niki be able to get his grandfather's Holocaust watch back from the Israeli criminal gang? Will everyone survive? 

Tuner works thanks to the performances. Leo Woodall continues building up his career with his performance as Niki. This is a decent man who made a terrible pact due to circumstances. What impressed me greatly about Woodall's performance is how sometimes he is quite still. He does not rage or show anger when, for example, Ruthie seems initially dismissive of his ability to hear the correct chords. Instead, Woodall shows Niki to be slightly frustrated that he is being questioned. He covers all the emotional beats correctly.

In her smaller role, Tovah Feldshuv does well as Martha, Harry's loving and supportive albeit at times frustrated wife. Leo Raz's Uri keeps to a menacing villain, though he is not a cartoonish villain. Instead, Uri is almost pleasant when he needs to be. Dustin Hoffman has little to do but look befuddled. That is, in fairness, his character. 

The weak link was Havana Rose Liu as Ruthie. It was not a bad performance. It was just not a great one. Sometimes it did look as if she was trying too hard to be concerned or upset. I did not hate Liu as Ruthie. I just did not love her either.

Director and cowriter Daniel Roher (writing with Robert Ramsey) did well in keeping things flowing. One could quibble on how the tie-in between the watch and Maestro Maissner was a bit too coincidental. It is one of those "something will happen if the plot requires it to" moments. Again, it is not a dealbreaker. It is, however, a bit too much to believe. 

Overall, though, Tuner works for what it is: a combination of heist and character study. The film is entertaining, well-paced and well-acted. I think viewers will enjoy the sights and sounds of Tuner. 

DECISION: B-

House of Frankenstein: A Review

HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN

House of Frankenstein may bill itself as an all-star cast of Universal Studios monsters. I would argue that while House of Frankenstein does have a rogue's gallery of them, the title itself is a misnomer. While not as good as what had come before, House of Frankenstein is serviceable entertainment. 

Mad scientist Gustave Niemann (Boris Karloff) languishes in prison for attempting to be like the fabled Doctor Frankenstein and bring life from death. His fellow prisoner is Daniel (J. Carroll Naish), a hunchback. Fortune smiles on them when during a fierce storm, their prison is destroyed and they escape. More good fortune comes when they help Professor Lampini (George Zucco). Lampini has a traveling carnival show, which Niemann and Daniel relieve Lampini off when they kill him.

Now, disguised as Niemann and his assistant, our wicked duo makes their way to Visaria, the most doomed town in all Europe. Niemann is set on getting revenge against the Visaria leaders who locked him up and denied him his genius. At the top of that list is the Hussman family. Burgermeister Hussman (Sig Ruman) is unaware of any of this. He is more interested in his grandson Carl (Peter Coe) and his new wife, the American Rita (Anne Gwynne). To help Niemann get his revenge, he is not relying on Daniel. He is relying on the carnival's main exhibit: Count Dracula (John Carridine). Once Niemann removes the stake from Dracula's bones, he comes back to life.

Dracula, calling himself Baron Lantos, soon has Rita under his spell. The Burgermeister meets his end, but Niemann has no scruples of letting the Baron get burnt by the sun during their escape. Now, it is off to the ruins of Castle Frankenstein. Here, Niemann and Daniel come across a Gypsy encampment. Daniel falls for Gypsy maiden Ilonka (Elena Verdugo), whom he rescues from an abusive Gypsy. She agrees to go with them to the Castle. Here, they find the frozen remains of Frankenstein's Monster (Glenn Strange) and Lawrence Talbot aka The Wolf Man (Lon Chaney, Jr.). They will do for Niemann's mad plan for revenge.

Niemann has promised Daniel a better body in exchange for helping him. Daniel thinks the best body available to transfer his brain into is that of Talbot. That would help both Daniel and Larry. Daniel sees that Ilonka is smitten with the melancholy Talbot. Talbot for his part will finally be released from his living death as the Wolf Man. However, Niemann is too obsessed with revenge to note what Daniel or Talbot want. Niemann revives Frankenstein's monster as part of his wicked plan for vengeance. However, a lycanthrope, a hunchback and a Gypsy maiden will all involve themselves to bring the mad scientist and the monster to a gruesome end. 

In a curious way, House of Frankenstein is two films crammed into its 70-minute runtime. Theoretically they are tied together because Dr. Niemann uses both Dracula and Frankenstein's Monster for his scheme. However, Dracula drops out midway through House of Frankenstein. As such, he seems to be there just for name recognition more than for plot necessity. His end seems almost anticlimactic. It leaves one wondering why he was even there at all. The same goes for the Hussman family. Once that subplot is finished, I do not remember them being involved with the rest of the film again.

In short, Dracula could have been eliminated from Edward T. Lowe's screenplay, and it would have worked just fine. 

It might have even worked better given John Carradine's performance. He is able to hypnotize Rita, but the methods might elicit more chuckles than frights. When director Erle C. Kenton focuses on Carradine's eyes to show his hypnotic power the end result looks hilarious. I do not think that was the intention.

We also have a very curious situation in that there is a lot of brain-hopping going on. Niemann's plans involve transferring the brains of his two enemies into the Monster and Talbot to condemn them to eternal misery. I think we have seen this kind of whacked-out scheme already. It does seem a bit too much to have all of this mind-shifting. Come to think of it, I think we have seen Frankenstein's Monster frozen already too. 

There are elements in House of Frankenstein that do make it passable fare. Boris Karloff returns to haunt viewers again. He steps away from the Monster and into the mad scientist role. His turn as the vengeful Dr. Niemann is entertaining. He brings the appropriate amount of menace without being over-the-top. We even get what I think is a nice in-joke when Niemann comments that he is being seen as a would-be Frankenstein. Karloff uses his distinct voice to make Niemann eerie, a man built for revenge.

I was impressed by J. Caroll Naish's turn as Daniel. He is not as good as Bela Lugosi's Ygor. However, he had good moments of drama when he sees that his unrequited love for Ilonka will not be returned. It does look curious whenever he does commit murder. However, Naish makes for a good, almost sympathetic, lackey.

Our Frankenstein regular Lionel Atwill is not forgotten in House of Frankenstein. Here, he is Inspector Arnz, a Hussmann family friend who tracks down the Burgermeister's killer. I suppose that Atwill had to pop up in a Frankenstein movie somehow. Also returning is Lon Chaney, Jr. as the cursed Wolf Man. He continues to make Talbot a sympathetic and tragic figure. This is a haunted man, knowing that he does evil things despite his basic goodness. Chaney keeps to how well he has done in the role. 

Glenn Strange makes his first appearance as Frankenstein's Monster. He was not on Karloff's level. However, he did a respectable job in the role. Unfortunately, for this being the House of Frankenstein, he had very little to do. As mentioned, David Carradine was a bit silly as Dracula/Lantos. That, however, was not the whole of his performance. He did well when Dracula first rises from the dead. Elena Verdugo's Ilonka also did well as our Gypsy princess. Less so was her American counterpart. Anne Gwynne was not terrible. I put her weakness on the material than on herself. 

House of Frankenstein also has some surprisingly good camera work. Of particular note is when the camera flows to the Frankenstein Castle ruins as the Lampini Caravan travels on. 

House of Frankenstein is a B-Picture. It feeds off of what has come before. However, it is entertaining and almost no one embarrasses themselves here. This is not a great or even particularly good film. It is, however, good enough to keep to this surprisingly strong franchise. 

DECISION: C+

FRANKENSTEIN UNIVERSAL FILMS

Frankenstein (1931)

The Bride of Frankenstein

Son of Frankenstein

The Ghost of Frankenstein

House of Dracula

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein

Zorba the Greek: A Review

ZORBA THE GREEK

If anyone exudes a lust for life, it is the Greek bon vivant known as Zorba. Zorba the Greek is the story of two men who find love and loss in the wilds of Crete. Rather long and at times rambling, Zorba the Greek still has enough in terms of performances and music to make it worth watching. 

Reserved half-Greek/half-British writer Basil (Alan Bates) has returned to his father's homeland. He wants to reopen a lignite mine in Crete that he inherited from his late father. On his way there, he meets the gregarious peasant Alexis Zorba (Anthony Quinn). Zorba quickly takes a shining to "Boss" and pretty much hires himself as his man Friday. 

They arrive in the remote Cretan village where they first stay at the informal hotel run by Madame Hortense (Lila Kedrova). She is a French former cabaret star who stayed in Crete after the war, where she was wooed by all the Allied admirals. Zorba says that he is married, but that doesn't stop him from wooing his Boubolina. Basil, for his part, is extremely proper and reserved (except when he laughs at Madame Hortense's stories of her glory days). To his credit, Boss is repentant when he sees Madame genuinely hurt and in tears at this reception.

Zorba gets the local men to work on the mine. However, the mine is stubborn and eventually caves in. He needs good lumber to build the mineshaft. There is good lumber higher up on the mountain. That lumber, however, is owned by the local Greek Orthodox monastery. Leave it to Zorba to hoodwink the monks.

One person who is not hoodwinked is the local widow (Irene Papas). She has remained unmarried after her husband's death, much to the other men's displeasure. One young man is thoroughly besotted with her, much to her displeasure. This young man is the son of a local bigwig, but the widow will not yield. Zorba is convinced that the widow wants Boss. Boss, however, will not go along with Zorba's matchmaking. 

Boss sends Zorba to buy material, but the temptations of the island are too strong for our lusty Greek. Madame Hortense faithfully waits for him. Boss is infuriated at Zorba's irresponsible manner with both his money and Madame's heart. He is also struggling with his feelings for the widow. Eventually, Zorba and Boss' ways with both women lead to brief love but great tragedy. Zorba's plans to bring the lumber down the mountain do work. They just work too well. With their plans pretty much in ruins, what is there to do but to dance?

A brief moment in Zorba the Greek captures the spirit of our grandiose Hellenist. The mine has just collapsed, sending everyone fleeing to safety. Basil calls out "ZORBA!". Out of the dust strides out the big man and nonchalantly replies, "What?" That seems to show what kind of man Alexis Zorba is. He is big. He is confident. He loves the wine and the women. He is a force of nature, who will laugh at disaster and push whatever obstacles he faces out of his way. 

Anthony Quinn found in Zorba one of his most defining roles. We forget that in real life, Anthony Quinn was of mixed Mexican and Irish heritage. He had no Greek heritage whatsoever. Despite that, Quinn seems tailor-made for this larger-than-life figure. Quinn makes Zorba into someone who sees life as one long exercise of joy and delight. That does not hide his less positive aspects. He openly admits to killing and violating others in war. He plays with Madame Hortense's heart. He plays with Boss' money.

However, Anthony Quinn gives Zorba genuine substance. He has a wonderful and moving moment when he gets drunk and breaks out into a dance. Boss is shocked and a bit angry (Zorba refers to him as that and I don't think anyone ever called Basil by his name). As he lies on the beach, Zorba recounts how dancing stopped the pain he felt after his firstborn's death at age 3. Quinn reveals that Zorba essentially laughs to stop crying. This is a man who will not give in to despair or hopelessness. "Boss, life is trouble, only death is not", he chides Basil when he refuses to pursue the widow. 

Anthony Quinn was big and bombastic as Alexis Zorba. However, that is what the character was like. As such, Quinn gave an excellent performance in a role that could have gone into parody.

Matching him is Alan Bates as the reluctant Basil. He is appropriately more sedate, even frightened. Unlike Zorba who lives the life of the flesh, Boss lives the life of the mind. There is one time when he does break from his own constraints. However, it is surprisingly tame and almost chaste. When the widow is in danger, he acknowledges that he cannot bring himself to be more proactive. Boss is a more sensible man than Alexis. However, he lacks that madness that can make life bearable and even enjoyable. Like Quinn, Bates plays the role correctly.

The standout in Zorba the Greek is Lila Kedrova as the tragic Madame Hortense. Kedrova made Madame Hortense into a beautiful woman. She is someone who did not love wisely but too well. Every time that Kedrova as Madame Hortense is on screen, she never fails to hold your attention. She could relate her past glories in love. She could be taken in by Zorba's words of love, soft and tender. She could fear for her impending death. No matter what the situation, Kedrova's moving performance will affect the viewer. Madame Hortense's final scene is downright tragic. Lila Kedrova rightfully won the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for her performance. It is to where one longs for a Madame Hortense prequel to see her years as a cabaret queen and courtesan to the Allied Powers.

While her role was smaller and almost mute, Irene Papas does well as the Widow. She has very little dialogue apart from a few words in Greek. However, she communicates much with her eyes. It could be defiance. It could be desire. It could be terror. Papas too will move and shock you in her dramatic albeit not graphic end.

A final highlight is in Mikis Theodorakis' score. This is what I think people who have never seen Zorba the Greek would recognize. It is like the title character itself, full of life and joy. While Zorba the Greek won for its Art Direction and Cinematography (with Kedrova's win totaling three Oscars out of its seven nominations), the film failed to be recognized for its score. I do not know the reason for this. However, the music, particularly Zorba's Dance, will still have people of all backgrounds attempt to keep up with its increasingly frenetic manner.

Here is where I would start taking issue with some parts of Zorba the Greek. The film is a punishing two-and-a-half-hours long. For a film that is often thought of as a life-affirming comedy, we get some quite tragic to horrifying moments. The two deaths in Zorba the Greek leave the viewer appropriately devastated. However, one wonders if the film is almost slightly misogynistic in how it looks on women. 

Michael Cacoyannis received Best Director and Best Adapted Screenplay nominations for his work on the film. In terms of directing, Cacoyannis did well judging by the performances. In terms of adapting Nikos Kazantzakis' novel, I think that he could have made things a bit shorter. The film seemed to have a lot of plots, and perhaps it would have done well to cut some of Basil and Zorba's interactions with the villagers. In short, Zorba the Greek comes close to wearing out its welcome.

Ultimately though, I see why so many overlook some of Zorba the Greek's less-than savory elements. The film is like the main character itself. It is big, full of braggadocio but also aware of life's tragic side. "You've got everything a man needs except one thing: madness. A man needs a little madness or else...he never dares cut the rope and be free". These words from the lusty Zorba the Greek to the staid Basil the half-Greek capture the message of Zorba the Greek. When things go mad, the best thing to do is dance. 

DECISION: B-

Greenland 2: Migration. A Review (Review #2165)

GREENLAND 2: MIGRATION

It is a curiosity that Greenland 2: Migration is simultaneously a hopeful and dystopian film. I found Greenland 2 working to be deeper and more meditative on this family's great crisis. I wonder though if by now, people would rather watch action over meditation. 

It has been five years since the asteroid Clarke has destroyed much of Earth. There are pockets of survivors throughout the world. Some eke out a living on the surface despite the radiation. Some have survived in bunkers. In the latter group is the Garrity family. Garrity patriarch John (Gerard Butler) goes to the surface often in search of supplies or potential survivors. His wife, Allison (Morena Baccarin) is one of the leaders at Thule Airbase in Greenland, where they took refuge all those years ago. They diabetic son, Nathan (Roman Griffith Davis) attempts to live life the best that he can. He likes a girl. He sneaks off onto the surface. He is not happy on Thule.

Fortunately, or not, a sudden earthquake destroys Thule and forces everyone to flee. The Garrity family manages to board a small, abandoned rescue ship along with others. Their eventual goal is to reach the Clarke Crater in France. Here, the Earth is rumored to be growing again. However, in this case, getting there is not half the fun.

First stop is Liverpool, where one of their compatriots is killed when he cannot produce an identity pass and attempts to enter their base anyway. Now, it's off to London to reunite with Mackenzie Matthews (Sophie Thompson). She is an old friend of Allison who has been caring for Alzheimer's patients. She gives them a car and warning to drive through Dover to cross the English Channel. Great Britain is a dangerous place, full of marauders. They take out their friend, Dr. Casey Amina (Amber Rose Revah). 

The Garrity family is surprised to find that the English Channel is now filled with land. There are still many dangers to cross to get into France. Fortunately, they come across Denis Laurent (William Abadie), a Frenchman who has managed to survive on the surface. He gives them information about the war going on between those defending the Clarke Crater and those determined to force their way in. He also begs them to take his daughter Camille (Nelia Valery Da Costa) with them. An old family friend is a commander with the troops. There are still many dangers before they can get near the Clarke Crater. Not all will survive, but will their journey be in vain or is there hope yet for the world?

I neither loved nor disliked the first Greenland. It was not a great film. It was not a particularly entertaining film. It was a curious hybrid of action and contemplation. Still, I thought well enough of it to think slightly well of Greenland. Greenland 2: Migration is pretty much in the exact same category as its predecessor. 

I did not love it. I did not hate it. I found it aiming for something deeper and richer. It did not always hit that mark. However, I cannot fault a film for at least trying. I was surprised that Greenland 2: Migration is actually almost a half hour shorter than Greenland. My surprise comes from the fact that Greenland 2 gives us a lot of things going on. There are tidal waves. There are earthquakes. There are many deaths going all around. 

That, I think, is why Greenland 2 failed at the box office. For all the Sturm und Drang of this dying world, the film was quite fond of killing side characters. We are introduced to such figures as Adam Shaw (Trond Fausa Aurvag), Obi (Ken Nwuso) and Dr. Amina. Each of them is killed off once they do whatever Mitchell LaFortune and Chris Sparling's screenplay needed them to do. Greenland 2 failed to see what has doomed other films: you cannot ask audiences to feel emotion for characters we barely know. It becomes almost a bit of a running gag: as soon as someone encounters the Garrity family, they have a high chance of ending up dead.

Even those who somehow manage to survive this cursed family somehow are just there. I cannot recall if Mackenzie is from the last movie. Even if she were, her appearance adds up to very little. 

There are other elements that leave the viewer a bit disengaged with Greenland 2. Throughout their entire journey, Nathan's diabetes is never touched on. We do not ever know what happened to the girl that he liked while at the Thune Airbase. The efforts to make things tense and exciting almost always fall flat. We get lots of tidal waves and earthquakes and battles. However, none of them have the impact that Greenland 2 aimed for.

Greenland 2 had some dodgy visual effects that would not be out of place on a SyFy Channel feature. The acting too was similarly limited. One never thinks of Gerard Butler as a dramatic actor. He is a big, burly Scotsman. I will give him credit for making a greater effort to make John's plight and concern for his family something to move audiences with. I think this is one of Butler's better performances. Is it a great performance? Probably not. It is, however, a good one. Monica Baccarin looked less than enthused at being there. I was not convinced that she wanted to be there. Baccarin looked as if she was going through the motions. In fairness, the part was not the greatest for her, so I cut her some slack. Roman Griffin Davis did well as Nathan. I think that he was not given much to do, but he acquitted himself well here.

Director Ric Roman Waugh got everyone through this serviceable production. The acting was acceptable. The pacing was steady. The visual effects worked though nothing spectacular. David Buckley's score matched the dour, morose world of Greenland 2. That also applies to Martin Ahlgren's cinematography. 

Greenland 2: Migration is a bit despairing about the world. It tries to give the viewer hope at the end. However, so much misery and death and chaos was thrown at us that it becomes a bit too heavy for viewers. I appreciated everyone's efforts. I do not necessarily see why we needed a Greenland 2. I, however, did not hate the film. It is fine enough but nothing that will have us calling out for a Greenland 3. 

DECISION: C+

Mortal Kombat II: A Review

MORTAL KOMBAT II

I have found that when judging a film's success or failure, one has to consider the target audience. I am not the target audience for any Mortal Kombat film adaptation. I was surprised at how much I disliked the 2021 Mortal Kombat film, not having seen any prior Mortal Kombat film. I was equally surprised at how much I accepted Mortal Kombat II. I cannot say I enjoyed Mortal Kombat II. In some ways it is bad. I say "accepted" because Mortal Kombat II does not bother pretending to be anything other than fan service. I cannot fault a film for hitting its expectations. 

I do not think that I can give a solid plot synopsis as I barely understand the overall mythology. Here is what I understand. Shao Khan (Martyn Ford) has conquered many worlds. His newest conquest of Edenia has been bloody. Princess Kitana (Adeline Rudolph) is now his unwilling heir. She has trained for battle, with her bodyguard/friend Jade (Tati Gabrielle) by her side.

Shao Khan now plots to conquer a new universe, which includes our Earth. These conquests are done by one-on-one combats to the death or Mortal Kombat. Powerful sorcerer Lord Raiden (Tadanobu Asano) and one of his warriors, Sonya Blade (Jessica McNamee) have found another Earth champion to participate. It is Johnny Cage (Karl Urban), action film star who has seen better days. The star of such epics as Uncaged Fury now ekes out a living at conventions. Mostly forgotten, Johnny Cage is dismissive of what he initially thinks are way-out cosplayers. 

Nevertheless, Cage is taken to fight for his world. He and others working alongside Lord Raiden face off in a series of battles against Shao Khan, who has become immortal. There is, however, an enemy hidden in plain sight against both Shao Khan and Lord Raiden. Not all will live for the ultimate battle. Johnny Cage must find his inner strength to be the champion he is meant to be. Who will triumph in this Mortal Kombat?

I confess to having no interest in seeing Mortal Kombat II and probably would have skipped it altogether. It was at the persistent insistence of a coworker who enjoys this video game that got me, very reluctantly, to go. Please do not think poorly of me if I got elements of Mortal Kombat II wrong. I did my best to follow along with all the goings-on. After a while though, I gave up. I instead focused on the pretty colors and the grandiose nature of Mortal Kombat II. I have no memory of the previous Mortal Kombat film; therefore, I genuinely cannot say who is back or even how Mortal Kombat II relates to Mortal Kombat 2021. I also have very little to no idea who the various people are. As such, all these names flying about would be a bit lost to me.

Having said all that, I figure that Mortal Kombat fans would enjoy Mortal Kombat II. They will understand and appreciate the various figures flying and fighting around. If a film is built for fans, then Mortal Kombat II should satisfy the majority of them.

In a curious way, I admire Mortal Kombat II's efforts to make more drama and put some stakes into this epic series of battles. Jeremy Slater's screenplay pushed hard to give the various characters dare I say greater depth. Cole Young (Lewis Tan), if memory serves correct, mentioned how he had a wife and child whom he might never see again. Then again, that might have been Jax Briggs (Mehcad Brooks). Whoever it was, such an element was mentioned I figure to make a potential end more tragic.

It did not hit me because I do not recall seeing any of their families. Merely mentioning them does not automatically give Mortal Kombat II any great stakes on any character's fate. This applies to Karl Urban's Johnny Cage. Urban is probably the biggest name here. I heard someone in my circle complain that Urban wasn't pretty enough to be Johnny Cage.

I think Slater and director Simon McQuoid were going for another angle with our favorite Mortal Kombat figure. This Johnny Cage was not a cocky, brash youth. He was still cocky and brash. However, he was also grizzled, a bit despondent. We see this after the Uncaged Fury trailer that we are treated to. The camera pulls away to show us an older Johnny Cage, ignored at a comic con's autograph alley. He can only look with a mix of weariness and frustration on how some influencer has people flocking to them while he sits amongst his past glories. 

Urban did well as Cage. He is weary, a bit clueless and doing the best he can while seeing himself as a bit of a failure. Urban makes him both excessively confident and aware of his shortcomings. I would not say that Urban gives a great performance. He gave what I would say is the correct performance. 

Out of everyone else, I think Adeline Rudolph also did well as Kitana, our warrior princess. I think that, if I thought more on it, Mortal Kombat II is more Kitana than Johnny focused. The film starts with her, and she is most of the epic final battle. I do not think that this is a terrible thing. I am not brimming with enthusiasm about it either.

As I think on Mortal Kombat II, I think that it works for what it is. This is something that Mortal Kombat fans would enjoy. I am not a Mortal Kombat fan as I rarely if ever played the game. It is not as bloody as I thought it would be. It is a bit longer than I think that it should be. Overall, it is fine if this is what people enjoy. I did not particularly enjoy it, but I figure that it works for its target audience. 

It does at least end with Techno Syndrome aka the Mortal Kombat theme. That is something that I have always enjoyed, so there's that. 

DECISION: C+

Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man: A Review

FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLF MAN

Does he? Does Frankenstein really meet the Wolf Man? Yes, though anyone thinking that Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man would be a clash of titans might be disappointed. Now, we find that our monster will never be a solo act. Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man works well in tying two franchises together.

Graverobbers have forced their way into the Talbot family crypt. Looking for a ring, they desecrate the tomb of the late Lawrence Stuart Talbot. They remove the wolfsbane from the coffin, which was a bad choice. Now, with no wolfsbane and a full moon, the apparently dead Larry Talbot (Lon Chaney, Jr.) has risen to kill as the Wolf Man. Talbot has no control over this curse and carries great guilt about it. 

Eventually, he finds himself in a Cardiff hospital. Dr. Frank Mannering (Patric Knowles) and Inspector Owen (Dennis Hoey) do not believe Talbot's wild stories of lycanthropy. Owen does not even believe that Talbot is who he says that he is. It takes some more investigating and another killing to slowly change their minds.

Desperate to rid himself of his curse, Talbot seeks out the Gypsy Maleva (Maria Ouspenskaya) for help. She cannot help him but thinks someone else can. That person would be Dr. Ludwig Frankenstein. Unfortunately, the local townsfolk do not welcome Gypsies or anyone with them. Another full moon causes Talbot to flee into the Frankenstein Castle ruins. Here, he discovers Frankenstein's Monster (Bela Lugosi) frozen in ice. The Monster might be a help to Talbot. Unfortunately, the blind and mute Monster cannot help him find Dr. Frankenstein's notes. 

Also helpful might be Baroness Elsa Frankenstein (Illona Massey). Talbot poses as someone willing to buy Castle Frankenstein. The mayor (Lionel Atwill) would be happy to be an intermediary, but the Baroness soon finds that the buyer wants her late grandfather and father's notes. They do, however, develop an attraction to each other. However, Talbot's delicate mental state and the reappearance of Frankenstein's Monster cause havoc for all concerned. So does the return of Dr. Mannering, who has searched for Talbot. 

At last, more mad science experiments can begin. Talbot talks Mannering into transferring his life into the Monster, freeing himself from the wolf man's curse. Elsa and Mannering secretly decide that both should be destroyed. However, curiosity gets the better of Mannering. This leads to a showdown between Frankenstein's Monster and the Wolf Man. Will everyone survive?

Should one be technical that it was Frankenstein's Monster and not Frankenstein himself who met the Wolf Man? Maybe we can stretch things out in saying that because Baroness Elsa Frankenstein had an interest in Lawrence Talbot, Frankenstein did indeed meet the Wolf Man. Now I'm just being silly. It is interesting though that in Son of Frankenstein, Baron Wolf von Frankenstein commented that most people called the Monster "Frankenstein". Now, that is exactly what Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man does. 

Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man runs a brisk 72 minutes. Despite that, it technically is the third longest film in this franchise, tying it with The Bride of Frankenstein. Nevertheless, the film has a lot within that runtime in terms of plot. 

As a side note, Son of Frankenstein is the longest Frankenstein film at 99 minutes. Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein goes ten minutes longer than The Bride of Frankenstein and this film. The original Frankenstein and House of Frankenstein are two minutes shorter than this film. The shortest Universal Frankenstein films both run a surprising 67 minutes: The Ghost of Frankenstein and House of Dracula. 

I was concerned that I might not follow some of that plot because I have not seen a Lon Chaney, Jr. Wolf Man film prior to this. However, Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man does a good job of covering the basics to where I understood Lawrence's plight. I understand that some plot elements changed between The Wolf Man and Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man. That, I do not know. I do not think, however, that any changes in canon will alter one's enjoyment of Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man.   

Lon Chaney, Jr. does a good job reprising his role as the tortured Lawrence Talbot/Wolf Man. He makes Talbot a sympathetic figure, one haunted by guilt and fear, desperate to escape his doomed life. There was one moment where Chaney did look a bit silly. That was during a Wine Festival where he angrily denounces a local singer for singing a song about eternal life. On the whole though, Lon Chaney, Jr. did a very good job as the good man turned monster.

I think that Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man is mostly well-acted by everyone. I think the one possible exception is that of Bela Lugosi as the Frankenstein Monster. That criticism of Lugosi's performance, however, comes with a lot of caveats. Lugosi was given very little to do. In fact, he does not appear until about 35 minutes into the film. He also is hampered by both Curt Siodmack's screenplay and the previous Frankenstein film.

One does not need to necessarily know The Wolf Man to follow the plot here. One, however, would benefit tremendously from knowing what came before Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man. In The Ghost of Frankenstein, Bela Lugosi's Ygor had been transplanted into the Monster. However, the Monster became blind because Ygor and the Monster's blood types are not compatible. In keeping with that, Lugosi's Frankenstein Monster correctly stumbles about. However, the end result is a curious walk with his arms sticking out and him shuffling along. The cliche of the Monster with arms outstretched and moving stiffly probably came from this performance. 

The decision to make the Monster mute, however, came from either Siodmack or director Roy William Neill. That also hampered Lugosi's performance. Perhaps it made sense to keep the Monster mute. Audiences might have roared with laughter hearing the Monster speak with a Hungarian accent. They might not have remembered the Ygor/Monster transference to make them understand that it was Ygor inside the Monster. 

Lugosi had both his arms tied behind his back when it came to his performance, so to speak. He could not speak. He technically was playing a blind creature. He was also almost inconsequential to the plot. It is a strange irony that Bela Lugosi had been originally cast as The Monster when Frankenstein was first announced. He ultimately did not play the part, though the exact reasons are unclear. Now, when he got to play the Monster, Lugosi was given a thankless role and did what he could with it.

Much better were the other roles. Patric Knowles did well as Dr. Mannering. He made him into a sensible man of science who still accepted Talbot's truth when it was presented to him. It is to Knowles' credit that he made that last-minute shift to try to bring the Monster fully to life slightly believable. I figure that it needed to happen for the plot to happen. It did not quite work, but Knowles tried. 

It is a surprise, given how dashing Knowles was, that he never became a star.

Lionel Atwill continues to be our Frankenstein utility infielder. He makes his third of five appearances in this franchise. His role as the mayor of longsuffering Vasaria is small. However, he shows a sympathetic side to the accursed House of Frankenstein. Maria Ouspenskaya reprises her The Wolf Man role as Maleva the Gypsy Queen. She makes Maleva into someone attempting to help but finding that anti-Gypsy prejudice blocks her. 

Technically Maleva was not a Gypsy Queen. I just like saying that.

Probably the worst of the performances was Ilona Massey as the Baroness Frankenstein. In her defense, it was not a particularly strong part. However, she brought little to the role.

Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man is entertaining and short. It is not a great film but one that keeps within this franchise. Despite the title, the film is more about The Wolf Man than about Frankenstein's Monster. It was not a battle royale but a nice get-together of monsters who lead such interesting lives. 

DECISION: B-

UNIVERSAL FRANKENSTEIN FILMS

Frankenstein (1931)

The Bride of Frankenstein

Son of Frankenstein

The Ghost of Frankenstein

House of Frankenstein

House of Dracula

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein

A Royal Scandal (1945): A Review

A ROYAL SCANDAL

Who better to portray the lusty Czarina of All the Russias than the outrageous Tallulah Bankhead? A Royal Scandal makes a good go of trying to be a screwball comedy amidst the Czarist Court. It did not quite hit the mark. However, it barely squeaked by. 

There is perpetual intrigue within the palace halls. Chancellor Nicolai Ilyitch (Charles Coburn) wants nothing but a firm treaty with France. General Ronsky (Sig Ruman) wants to install his idiot nephew Boris (Grady Sutton) as the new head of the Palace Guard. Captain Sukov (Mischa Auer) wants nothing more than to have the West Gate secured. 

Czarina Catherine II (Bankhead) is a bit mercurial when it comes to everything and everyone. She has only one friend, her lady-in-waiting Countess Anna (Anne Baxter). A surprise friend is the dashing Lieutenant Alexie Chernoff (William Eythe). Fanatically loyal to "Mother Russia" (a term that Her Majesty winces at), he storms his way into a private audience to warn her of a plot. Fortunately, Catherine and Nicolai already knew of the plot. However, the lusty Kate takes a shine to the luscious officer. That he and Countess Anne are engaged is not important to Her Majesty.

The poor French diplomat (Vincent Price) is kept forever waiting while Alexei and Catherine find themselves working on very intimate terms. Eventually, Anne becomes so enraged that she defies Catherine to her face, bringing about an exile. Alexei, full of youthful vigor, proposes a series of reforms to the empire. These reforms appall the Chancellor. However, Ronsky, no longer tied to his dimwit relation, looks to Alexei to seize the throne. Catherine has elevated him higher and higher, and now is the head of the Palace Guard. Who will Alexei side with? Will Catherine keep her crown and her head?

A Royal Scandal was originally meant to be directed by Ernst Lubitsch. He, however, became ill and had to withdraw from directing the film. Lubitsch is listed instead as the producer. A Royal Scandal, this intended screwball comedy, was directed instead by Otto Preminger. I struggle imagining that there could have been a worse choice to direct a fast-paced witty film than the man who brought us such films as Laura, Anatomy of Murder and Exodus. Granted, the last two were far into the future. However, Preminger seems wildly out of place directing what I figure was intended as some kind of madcap romp.

Edwin Justus Mayer and Bruno Frank's adaptation of the play The Czarina gives the actors a lot of lines that are meant to be funny. "That's the trouble with France, too many Louis!" Chancellor Nicolai observes early on. Later on, Nicolai takes umbrage at Alexei's offer to give him access to Catherine in exchange for money. "You can't bribe the Chancellor of Russia!" he exclaims. Doing a quick double take, Nicolai adds, "Not with fifty rubles". 

Alexei and Catherine discuss his ideas for improving the lot of the peasants. "They are the backbone of the nation", he says. "Yes, I know. There's nothing like a good peasant", Her Majesty replies. Catherine is astonished to find one of Alexei's proposed reforms in the trash. Commenting on this "Edict 52", she asks what it is about. "I don't know, Your Majesty. I didn't read it". "You didn't read it?! They when did you throw it away?" she exclaims. He replies instantly, "I read the other fifty-one".

These lines, and others, indicate that A Royal Scandal was intended to be fast-paced, zippy and full of quips. The actors delivered them the best way that they could. However, it was always a bit off. The pacing was just a beat off. Somehow, it played as if it were a play. One almost suspects that Preminger expected laughter from the audience and made room for them on the screen. However, the efforts to be a bit deadpan ended up making A Royal Scandal a bit dead itself. 

This is reflected in some of the acting. Vincent Price had a small role as the French ambassador. Sporting a French accent that makes Inspector Clouseau sound like Alain Delon, it leaned way too heavily on farce. It was a good thing that Price was not much in A Royal Scandal. He was not terrible. Instead, he seemed rather forced in his efforts to make the ambassador funny.

More surprising is how Anne Baxter leaned into the broadness that pushed A Royal Scandal down. She seemed forced and exaggerated in her scenes with Eythe. She was much better when working with Bankhead and Coburn. There did not seem to be that much stiffness there.

William Eythe was pleasant enough and handsome enough as the courtier who turns Catherine's head. He was fine. He was not great. He was not terrible. 

The two standouts were Charles Coburn and Tallulah Bankhead. Coburn made a great effort to make the Chancellor funny. Preminger did not direct him or anyone well, but Coburn acquitted himself respectfully. Tallulah Bankhead never became a film star. Here, however, she made Catherine into this somewhat scatterbrained figure. She was no bellowing tyrant. Instead, she was haughty, sometimes unaware of how things sounded. She came as close as anyone to capturing the attempts to make A Royal Scandal witty and fast-paced.    

A Royal Scandal has nice sets and costumes befitting this type of film. It also has a very jolly score from Alfred Newman. In many ways, everything in A Royal Scandal is there to make it a sparkling comedy. However, something was missing. Maybe it was the Lubitsch Touch. The film ended up playing like a weird imitation of a Lubitsch film. 

A Royal Scandal is not bad. Tallulah Bankhead and Charles Coburn do lift the project, however, slightly. It is barely passable and leaves one wondering what could have been if it had a better director. 

DECISION: C+

CATHERINE II FEATURE FILMS & TELEVISION PRODUCTIONS

The Scarlet Empress (1931)

The Rise of Catherine the Great (1931)

Young Catherine (1991)

Catherine the Great (1995)

Catherine the Great (2019)

The Great (2020-2023)

Catherine the Great: The 2019 Miniseries

CATHERINE THE GREAT

In truth, the Russian sovereign Catherine II was not Russian but German. History, however, has intertwined this minor German princess as Catherine the Great, Czarina and Autocrat of All the Russias. She has been the subject of many films and television projects. In 2019, Dame Helen Mirren returned to her own Russian roots to portray this legendary historic figure. Catherine the Great has a lot of sex and appears to want to shock with its four-letter words. It is not bad but far from what it could have been.

Two years after the coup that brought her to power, Empress Catherine II (Mirren) still has to contend with forces that could bring her down. There is the mysterious "Prisoner Number One", who may have a legitimate claim to the Russian throne. There is the mysterious soldier, Mirovich (Lucas Englander), loyal to Prisoner Number One. 

Then there is Count Grigory Orlov (Richard Roxburgh). He is one of the men who helped her overthrow her loutish husband, Peter III. He is also Catherine's current lover. Grigory and his brother Alexei (Kevin R. McNally) always remind her that they put her on the throne. The suggestion is that they can pull her off. The Orlov Brothers scheme and scheme away, making snide remarks about everyone out of earshot. That includes the newest member of Court. It is another Grigory: Grigory Potemkin (Jason Clarke). Brash, daring and belligerent, Potemkin is quickly besotted by our Autocrat. 

That does not stop him from schtupping her BFF, Countess Bruce (Gina McKee). Eventually, Potemkin bends the royal ear. He also bends other things for both Mother Russias. One person who cannot bend is the frustrated heir, Prince Paul (Joseph Quinn). He still hero worships his late father. He also detests his mother and is the only man in Russia who does not see that his wife, Natalia (Georgina Beedle) is screwing Paul's best friend, Count Razumovsky (Phil Dunster). 

Orlov soon becomes indispensable to Her Majesty inside and outside the royal bedchamber. He leads her armies to triumphs in Crimea and against the Turks. He also is imperious, haughty and prone to anger against all his enemies. The Orlovs are bitter foes. He is able to outmaneuver them. The Czarevitch is another enemy, though to be fair Paul is a very bitter boy, trashing about hither and yon. As Catherine continues her struggle to stay in power over Russia and the various men in her life, she fails to see how her need for power has made her abandon her early liberalism. The woman who once corresponded with Voltaire now burns his books. Personal tragedy hits this great love story of Catherine and Grigory, but will she get the heir that she wants or the one who manages to stay?

I think Catherine the Great thinks itself daring with all the sex scenes and f-bombs going off all over the place. I figure that Catherine and her Court were not immune from letting out a torrent of vulgarities and bed-hopping back in the day. However, Catherine the Great seemed oddly fixated on the sex and swearing and less on the political machinations within the Winter Palace.

Screenwriter Nigel Williams and director Philip Martin have a very surface level look at this debauched world. Episode One of the four-episode miniseries ends with a drag ball. The sight of the Orlov Brothers in dresses and wigs while Catherine and Potemkin are cutting a little rug to Russian music is a sight to behold. It is a curious sight though, not helped by an effort at a Barry Lyndon-like cinematography.

It is curious that Catherine the Great is dominated by a lot of voiceovers of Mirren's Catherine and Clarke's Potemkin reading their letters to each other. We get many such scenes and the added scenes of riders passing those letters to and from our lovers. 

Somehow, Catherine the Great does not seem all that interested in things outside the nocturnal. Events like Pugachev's Rebellion or the killing of the unfortunate Prisoner Number One (Czar Ivan VI) do not seem to register. They happen almost because they have to. The miniseries just does not spend much if any time on them.

Take Pugachev (Paul Kaye). He pops in for a bit in Episode One, then a bit more in Episode Two. In what I figure Catherine the Great intended as a great moment Her Majesty appears before Pugachev's followers while he rants in a cage. Here, the peasants suddenly began to kowtow to the Czarina. Why? It does not matter. 

Catherine the Great is worth only what Dame Helen Mirren brings to the role. She brings a great mix of haughtiness and vulnerability to our Mother Russia. She is coy and playful when Matushka (Grigory's pet name for the Empress) is with her Grishenka (her nickname for Potemkin). She can also be ruthless with him when needed. "I own you. Don't forget that", she reminds her paramour, enraged at having been essentially scolded before her council. Mirren shifts so well into the Czarina's mercurial nature. She makes her efforts to build a rapport with Paul and her grandson Alexander believable, even as she plots against the former. 

The rest of the cast is not terrible. They are just hampered by their one-note roles. Jason Clarke is an interesting choice as the brash, arrogant Potemkin. I thought all he did was shout and bluster. Granted, that is how the character was. After a while, though, that grows boring. The same goes for Kevin McNally and Richard Roxburgh as Alexie and Grigory Orlov. Almost all their scenes consisted of Alexie telling Grigory not to f-it up. Whether it was Grigory's stud status or a political negotiation, it was pretty much the same. Joseph Quinn's Czarevitch Paul was better, but he too did nothing but skulk about and whine. 

Again, I get that is how the role was written and directed. Again, it gets rote.

Catherine the Great does have some beautiful moments. The battle of Ushakov is a standout. The costumes and sets are nice. 

Ultimately though, Catherine the Great failed to live up to its title. It was more Catherine the OK. 

5/10

CATHERINE II FEATURE FILMS & SPECIALS

The Rise of Catherine the Great (1934)

The Scarlet Empress (1934)

A Royal Scandal (1945)

Young Catherine (1991)

Catherine the Great (1995)

The Great (2020-2023)