Wuthering Heights (2026): A Review (Review #2132)

WUTHERING HEIGHTS (2026)

I confess that as of this writing, I have not read Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights. I have also not seen the celebrated 1939 film adaptation. I will, however, venture a guess that neither had the female protagonist perform an auto-erotic exercise. Emerald Fennell's Wuthering Heights is wine mom erotica. It turns what is held up as a literary classic into a low-rent Harlequin paperback with less intelligence.

The Earnshaw family was once wealthy but has now fallen on hard times. They have managed to hold onto their estate, Wuthering Heights, but not much else. Mr. Earnshaw (Martin Clunes) has a surprise gift for his haughty daughter, Cathy. It is a street urchin that she names "Heathcliff". He displaces Cathy's playmate-cum-lady-in-waiting Nelly, the illegitimate daughter of a lord. "I suppose he'll fall in love with me", she declares.

Many years pass. Heathcliff (Jacob Elordi) has grown to a tall, thin, hunky man. Cathy (Margo Robbie) has grown to a smugger and more obnoxious bitch. She may toy with her hunky plaything. However, Cathy is desperate for wealth and escape. Fortunately, the new neighbors will provide a way out. Wealthy merchant Edgar Linton (Shazad Latif) is the perfect stooge for this designing woman. Edgar's ward Isabella (Alison Oliver) is no match for our wily adventuress. She will marry Edgar despite being in erotic throes about Heathcliff. In a mix of heartbreak and rage, Heathcliff flees Wuthering Heights.

Five years pass. Cathy and Edgar are respectable but still childless. This allows Nelly (Hong Chau) to stay alongside Cathy. Nelly occasionally throws shade at the mistress of the manor. Nelly has also arranged years earlier for Heathcliff to overhear snippets of conversation where Cathy denounces him. Cathy, however, had also expressed conflict about whether to follow her heart or her purse. Now, Heathcliff has returned. He is wealthy. He is influential. He is still hunky. Despite her new pregnancy, Cathy and Heathcliff being a lurid sexual affair. Heathcliff also draws Isabella into his web of sex games. Heathcliff and Isabella's liaison is so sadomasochistic that even Nelly is shocked when finding her employer's ward behaving like a literal dog. Will Cathy and Heathcliff break through to find their erotic passions fulfilled? Will death separate our twisted lovers?

I was in the minority in finding Promising Young Woman a revolting piece of trash. I thought the same of writer/director Emerald Ferrell's second film, Saltburn. I was not in the minority for that one. With her third film, I find that Emerald Ferrell is obsessed with sex and does not care who knows it. I cannot imagine that Emily Bronte would have liked seeing Cathy pleasuring herself or getting serviced by Heathcliff's tongue in her nether regions. 

Did I mention that Cathy is pregnant when Heathcliff uses his tongue on her vajayjay? 

I suppose it takes a great skill to make Fifty Shades of Grey look downright virginal compared to Ferrell's adaptation. It takes a certain cinematic vision to make Isabella rolling around like a dog, complete with chains, reflect Bronte's Victorian vision for womanhood. Ferrell figured that she was being clever with how Isabella came across. "You're a dog in a manger!" Isabella screams at her when Cathy warns her not to involve herself with the hunky Heathcliff. We then saw that Isabella willingly let herself be chained up and behave like a dog.

I figured that Isabella, as played by Alison Oliver, was already a loon. Is that how she was in the novel? I am less inclined to read Wuthering Heights after seeing this. 

It would be uncharitable of me to not find some good things in Wuthering Heights. The costumes were elaborate. Excessively so, but elaborate, nonetheless. The film is as fixated with fog as Heathcliff is in getting into Cathy's corsets. There is lots of fog and shadows floating about. Wuthering Heights aims for atmosphere. It occasionally hits that target. 

In every other aspect, Wuthering Heights is trash. This is the first film Jacob Elordi has appeared in after his Best Supporting Actor nomination for Frankenstein. The man is hunky. He is tall. He is beautiful to look at. Those, however, are the full extents of his cinematic abilities. He speaks all his lines in this curious, dare I say careless whisper. I cannot fathom why he and Farrell thought that made any sense. Even what should be his climatic speech cursing Cathy's soul is spoken in this sotto voce manner. No matter what the situation, Jacob Elordi made Marlon Brando's Don Corleone sound thunderous by comparison.

To misquote Dorothy Parker, Jacob Elordi in Wuthering Heights ran the gamut of emotions from A to A-. 

One thing that I noticed and that I found unintentionally hilarious was Elordi's earring. When he first returns to Wuthering Heights, Heathcliff's piercing is a small gold stud. In his next scene, it is slightly larger. After that, it grew to a hoop. It was to where I thought that by the end, it would be platter-size. I found the whole earring thing odd. I grant that it was a curious thing to fixate on. However, I do not know exactly why Heathcliff's piercing seemed to grow each time he appeared. 

I think Margot Robbie saw how her steamy, hunky costar was comatose in his performance. That may be why she decided to go the opposite route. I will not say that Robbie was overacting. She was not acting either. She just appeared to decide to flail around, hoping that being whiny would help her find a character. Robbie is a competent actress. She, unlike Elordi, can act and has shown that she can create a character. Wuthering Heights is not that showcase for Margot Robbie. She cannot make Cathy's self-absorption and arrogance either infuriating or sympathetic. She is just whiny. She is a ninny. She is too mannered. It is a bad performance.

Martin Clunes is one-note as Mr. Earnshaw despite using two tones: loud and soft. I cannot figure how audiences would not laugh at him bellowing out "I AM THE KINDEST MAN ALIVE AND YOU TREMBLE AT ME!" when he starts giving child Heathcliff a whipping. I know that it was meant to show Earnshaw as unaware. It just made it all look like farce.

Hong Chau is the only one who does not embarrass herself as Nelly. She communicates so much with just a glance. Even when Cathy dismisses her from service, you can see in Chau's performance that Nelly has a few cards left to play to keep her position. Chau also throws some of the best lines in the film. "If I were in Heaven, I would be so miserable," Robbie's Cathy declares when describing her conflict about Heathcliff. "Because you don't belong there," Chau's Nelly deadpans. Later, Cathy whines, "I think you like to see me cry". "Not half as much as you like crying", Nelly snaps coldly. Her reaction to Isabella's degradation reveals the shock at something even her calculating mind could not have conceived. It also reveals genuine sadness at Isabella's condition.

There is no eroticism or romance in Wuthering Heights. I laughed at the sex montage. The people behind me were also laughing when Heathcliff takes Isabella on the dining room table. I will concede that I have not read Wuthering Heights. It has a lofty reputation. I do not, however, imagine that the 2026 film adaptation will achieve that same lofty reputation. 

Who knew Emily Bronte was such a super freak? 

DECISION: F

Frankenstein (2025): A Review

FRANKENSTEIN (2025)

The tale of mad scientists and their creations who hate them gets a rich gothic treatment in Frankenstein. Visually sumptuous though rather long, Frankenstein drowns a bit in said sumptuousness.

With a ten-minute Prelude, Frankenstein is evenly split between two tales. There is Part I: Victor's Tale and Part II: The Creature's Tale. The Danish ship Horisont is trapped in the North Atlantic ice. Captain Anderson (Lars Mikkelsen) is determined to get to the North Pole. However, there is something wicked out in the snow. The crew is shocked to find a man with a metal leg dying out in the snow. They are more shocked when a monstrous creature is attacking the Horisont, determined to get at the injured man. A blunderbuss seems to send the creature to the depths of the ocean. 

Weak and in delirium, we hear Victor's tale. Victor Frankenstein (Oscar Isaac) had a tyrannical father, Leopold (Charles Dance). Leopold, a renowned doctor, favored his younger son, William (Felix Kammerer). Despite his favoritism, Baron Leopold has groomed Victor to follow his footsteps into medicine. Victor is still resentful and grieving over his mother's early death in childbirth. After Baron Leopold's own death, the Frankenstein brothers are separated. William is sent to Vienna, while Victor eventually ends up in Edinburgh.

As an adult, Victor is determined to conquer death itself. The Royal College of Medicine Disciplinary Tribunal denounces his work as sacrilege. There is, however, one man who does not consider Dr. Frankenstein a mad scientist. He is arms manufacturer Heinrich Harlander (Christoph Waltz). In exchange for a favor to be named later, Harlander gives Victor unlimited resources for his research. 

One thing that Victor would have loved to be part of that deal is Harlander's niece, Elizabeth (Mia Goth). Victor falls madly in love with her. Elizabeth, however, has a fiancée, none other than William Frankenstein himself. William finds a remote unused water tower for his brother to conduct his experiments. Harlander grows impatient and soon we know why. On the dark and stormy night that Victor will bring his created cadaver to life, Harlander asks for that favor. Harlander is dying of syphilis and insists on transplanting his brain into the new man's body. It cannot be done, Victor insists. In the struggle, Harlander dies but a new being lives.

A strange, tall being appears to Victor. This is his Creature (Jacob Elordi). Victor is at first thrilled with his new metaphorical son. However, the Creature cannot say anything other than "Victor". Baron Frankenstein considers his experiment a failure. He also does his best to hide Harlander's fate from Elizabeth and William. They eventually discover the Creature. William is shocked but Elizabeth is sympathetic towards the Creature. Things culminate when Victor attempts to destroy everything, including the Creature. 

Now we get to The Creature's Tale. The Creature has forced his way onto the Captain's stateroom where Victor is. He now will tell his story. The Creature survived the explosion (Victor's leg was severed in it, thus his metal leg). He wandered in the forest, coming upon the corpses of dead soldiers. He also has come upon a secluded rustic home where a family ekes out a living. He starts picking up their language and in exchange does secret work for them. They do not know who he is but thank him as "the Spirit of the Forest". When the family leaves to hunt wolves for the winter, the Creature makes his way inside where the Blind Grandfather (David Bradley) welcomes him. He mistakes the Creature for a wounded, shellshocked soldier. Soon, a bond is built, but a wolf attack leaves the Blind Man mortally wounded. To his shock, the Creature finds that he cannot die even after the family, which blames him for the grandfather's death, shoots him.

The Monster Demands a Mate. Who else to get one from than from the bad Doctor himself? The Creature becomes the ultimate wedding crasher when he goes to Victor on William and Elizabeth's big day to make his Tinder request. Nothing doing, says Victor. From this comes a slew of deaths and tragedies. Who will achieve their goal of revenge? Will there be forgiveness? Who will live and who will die?

I will say this about director Guillermo del Toro's take on the Mary Shelley novel. Bill of the Bull certainly throws a big visual feast at the viewer. Frankenstein is luxurious looking, full of grand sets and costumes. They blend a sense of the Victorian era with a more Gothic look. Alexandre Desplat's score is equally grand, doing good work in setting the atmosphere. I would say that his music for when Victor is putting his creature together does sound a bit carnival-like. However, I figure that this was in keeping with the lunacy of reviving the dead.

I grant that it has been ages since I read the original novel. That being said, I do not think that del Toro's screenplay cared much for fidelity to the source material. Even with my hazy recollection, I do not recall Victor having a German sponsor to go all Re-Animator on him. I also think the Creature crashes Victor's wedding to take his revenge on the mad Baron. I do not recall any accidental killings.

Perhaps this is why Frankenstein was not nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay. The film does seem more like a jumping-off point than a straightforward adaptation. I do not know why Frankenstein took such detours. I do think that they made the film much longer than it needed to be. Frankenstein runs a lengthy two-and-a-half hours. I wonder if it needed that much time. It takes ten minutes to go into Victor's story. His story takes up about an hour and a half. The Creature's story takes about as much time. 

I wonder if we needed that Prelude to begin with. I figure that we could have gotten to Victor's story faster. I figure we could have cut down on Victor's backstory with his Daddy and Mommy issues. Exactly why William and Victor were separated to Vienna and Edinburgh is a detail that I might have missed. The less charitable part of me suspects it was so that William's German accent could make sense. I also figure the one-sided flirtation between Victor and Elizabeth could have been cut down a bit. The Creature's story of being the Spirit of the Forest too could have seen some trimming.

In terms of acting, Jacob Elordi is the Frankenstein cast member who was singled out with a Best Supporting Actor nomination. Oddly, I do not begrudge this nomination. The role is perfectly suited for Elordi's acting skills. He is tall and he is emotionless. Those are the only attributes that Jacob Elordi is capable of bringing to any role that he does. As with Amy Madigan in Weapons, I suspect that it is hype that got Elordi recognized for his flat Creature. 

As a side note, I am curious on a technical point that I trust others can guide me on. During his time with Victor, the Creature was bald. Once he escaped the inferno, the Creature was able to grow hair. I was wondering how that happened. 

In fairness to Elordi, he was a model of restraint compared to two of his costars. Oscar Isaac delved into his Victor with almost crazed abandon. Veering between hammy and crazed, Isaac was pretty much on mad scientist mode. It is as if his enunciations had to carry such a grand manner as to look downright hilarious. Falling not far behind is Waltz. He went all-in on the Prometheus tie-in. "Can you contain your fire, Prometheus, or are you going to burn your hand before delivering it?", Harlander tells the bad doctor early on. That, perhaps, I can let slide. However, the second mention of Prometheus was a bit too overdone. "I WILL BE THE EAGLE THAT FEEDS ON YOUR LIVER!" a crazed Harlander tells Victor as they struggle in their final confrontation. Del Toro's line is already a bit too on-the-nose. Waltz's delivery makes it a bit hilarious.

Mia Goth was the standout in Frankenstein. She was gentle but shrewd throughout the film. Goth could be catty against Victor's incessant attempts at wooing. She could be gentle and kind with the Creature. Mai Goth elevates all her costars whenever she works with them. 

In terms of production, Frankenstein does exceptionally well. Fidelity to the Mary Shelley novel is a bit hit-or-miss. The film is worth viewing for the lavish sets and costumes. It is, however, longer than it should be. it also has acceptable though not great performances save for Mia Goth. It is fair to say that Frankenstein is a bit of a monster production. 

DECISION: B-

Tiefland: A Review (Review #2130)

TIEFLAND

Tiefland (Lowlands) is the final film from Leni Riefenstahl. Now damned for her work during the Nazi era, Tiefland gives viewers a glimpse of what could have been Riefenstahl's cinematic output if not for her now-notorious connection to the Third Reich. Visually rich if melodramatic, Tiefland will almost never be judged on its own merits for good or bad. 

There could be no more two different men than Pedro and Don Sebastian, Marquis of Roccabruna. Pedro (Franz Eichberger) is a simple shepherd living in the mountains. He cares only for his sheep and his flute. Don Sebastian (Bernhard Minetti) is haughty, arrogant and powerful. He cares only for his prized bulls. Don Sebastian cares so much for his prized bulls that he redirects the water from the villagers to his cattle. As Pedro lives in the mountains, this does not affect him. 

It does affect the villagers and has an unintended consequence. Don Sebastian depends on the villagers bringing in good crops so he can make money off them. However, because he is taking up all the water for his cattle, which he oddly does not sell, he ends up creating the financial situation that he is facing. Creditors are starting to come after him. In desperation, the Marquis turns to Dona Amelia (Maria Koppenhoffer), the Mayor's wealthy daughter. Amelia would like to be a Marchioness, but she and Sebastian loath each other.

Enter into this maelstrom the mysterious traveling dancer Martha (director Leni Riefenstahl). She entrances the innocent, virginal Pedro and the dastardly sexually voracious Don Sebastian. The former returns to the mountains. The latter orders her to his castle and forces Martha to become his mistress. The Marquis' financial straits increase, and he comes up with a dastardly scheme. He will marry Amelia while keeping our Gypsy queen as his mistress. Martha, who has tried to help the peasants, runs away after a brutal beating and flees to the mountains. Pedro is again enchanted by this beauty. She is eventually found and returned to Don Sebastian. Now, circumstances bring Pedro and Martha into a forced marriage. Will Sebastian get his cake and eat it too? Who will triumph for Martha's love? 

I do not know if Tiefland will ever truly be judged for itself. It will always have much outside negative elements that will make it hard viewing. Just having Leni Riefenstahl as director, screenwriter and lead is a bridge too far for many given her role in directing the Nazi propaganda film Triumph of the Will. No project of hers will ever be seen separate from her involvement in the Third Reich. 

Then there is the question of the film's extras. The peasants, especially children, were Roma (then known as Gypsies). They were brought in from concentration camps. Exactly what Riefenstahl knew about both where Tiefland's extras came from or what their fate was is still, per my understanding, a subject of fierce debate. Knowing that the working conditions on  Tiefland for some of the extras was the result of war crimes makes viewing a hard thing. 

I think only someone who has no prior knowledge of Riefenstahl and the extent of the Gypsie persecution would be able to fully judge the film on its own merits. 

I will do my best to judge Tiefland on those merits. There is much to admire in the film in terms of its visuals. Riefenstahl is a mistress of the visual art of filmmaking. Some sequences and scenes are impressive to look at. Of note is when Pedro sees Martha in the clouds. This is quite a clever shot that catches the viewers' attention. The montage of the melting mountain ice to a gushing waterfall is equally impressive. The last shot too is very poetic. 

Riefenstahl loved moving the camera. There was a great deal of flow in Tiefland, as if she were averse to keeping things still. There was a great effort to keep things moving, to create a sweeping manner in the film. 

In terms of its look, Tiefland has much to be admired. In terms of acting and story, Tiefland is a little weak. Granted, Riefenstahl adapted the film from an older opera and play. Therefore, there was something a bit old fashioned to the narrative. One also has to consider that Tiefland began work in 1940 but by its release in 1954 there had been many hurdles in its production. The war and post-war eras had prevented Riefenstahl from working on the film in a straightforward manner. 

The best thing that one can say about the acting is that it kept to Tiefland's melodramatic manner. Leni Riefenstahl, I suspect, let her vanity get the best of her. It is interesting seeing her dance again on film. She had started out as a dancer, and Tiefland gives her that opportunity to showcase her dancing. However, she was 38 when Tiefland began filming. It is a terrible thing to say, even to someone as notorious as Leni Riefenstahl. However, she was too old for the part of this temptress.  

That aside, I thought Riefenstahl handled herself well as the sympathetic Martha. She has a soft voice that fits the character. She gave a mostly credible performance. She also directed her cast quite well. Minetti was short a mustache to twirl as the evil Marquis. He was, I found, appropriately melodramatic without going over the top. Franz Eichberger made Pedro into a believable innocent. He was capable of battle, especially in the final confrontation with the Marquis.

Tiefland loved going into symbolism. We start with a ten-minute dialogue-free sequence, where all we hear is the beautiful music and the shepherd fighting off a wolf. That makes Pedro's climatic declaration to the Marquis, "You are the wolf", all the more on-the-nose. 

It will be a long time before Tiefland can be judged separate from Leni Riefenstahl's notorious legacy. Visually impressive if a bit dull in story, Tiefland can be appreciated in its overall look. The film is mercifully short, so one can watch without feeling drained at the end. 

Would people think better of Tiefland if perhaps another director had filmed it? I think so. Leni Riefenstahl had a great eye for visual splendor. Whether that artistic eye could or should have been used for moral clarity is something only the viewer can answer for him/herself. 

DECISION: C+

Liz: The Elizabeth Taylor Story. The Television Miniseries

LIZ: THE ELIZABETH TAYLOR STORY

Dame Elizabeth Taylor simply hated the nickname "Liz". She especially hated when she and her fifth and sixth husband Richard Burton were referred to as "Liz and Dick". Such a detail would not matter to the production crew of Liz: The Elizabeth Taylor Story. While the lead performance is effective, Liz fails to capture the full scope of her stardom and genuine talent.

Young Elizabeth Taylor is set on being an actress and not a movie star. Her mother Sara (Christine Healy) has a powerful ally in movie gossip queen Hedda Hopper (Katharine Helmond). It is Hopper that brings Taylor to MGM. While Elizabeth is American by citizenship, she was born and spent her early years in the United Kingdom. As such, Elizabeth speaks with a British accent, which is perfect for the role of an English girl in National Velvet. Her violet eyes and elegant manner help too. 

Soon, Taylor (Sherilyn Fenn) blossoms into a glorious, ravishing beauty. She becomes good friends with two other young actors. One is the sweet-natured Debbie Reynolds (Judith Jones). The other is brooding and gloriously ravishing beauty Montgomery Clift (William McNamara). Monty loves Liz, but only platonically. She is slightly disappointed but accepts him for himself. She also listens and studies his acting methods. 

I do not think that Clift ever gave her marriage advise. If he did, it did not work. We go through two marriages in Liz quickly. The first is to young Hilton heir Conrad "Nicky" Hilton (Eric Gustavson), a bullying and abusive drunk. The second is the older English actor Michael Wilding (Nigel Havers). He is steady but a bit dull. He also is convinced that Taylor is getting too close to her Giant costar Rock Hudson (Dan McVicar). 

Now on her second divorce, third time seems the charm with outrageous film and theater producer Mike Todd (Ray Wise). Sadly, Todd leaves her a widow. For comfort, she turns to "that Fisher man" as Mama Sara calls him. Eddie Fisher (Cory Parker) comforts the Widow Todd a little too intimately and slips from Debbie Reynolds' first husband to Elizabeth Taylor's fourth.

Now comes Husband Number Five: Richard Burton (Angus MacFayden). This lusty lush Welshman wins her during the filming of Cleopatra. Their extramarital affair became the greatest public scandal of the age. As the Battling Burtons boozed their way through life, something eventually had to give. A few more marriages, a few stints in rehab, and a new mission as an AIDS activist all conclude our story.

I genuinely do not know if Liz: The Elizabeth Taylor Story can be called "the Elizabeth Taylor Story". I say this because so much of Liz is really about Liz and Dick. Husband Number Seven, Senator John Warner, gets pretty much ignored. Granted, we do see their relationship. However, the end of it came from seeing a newspaper headline. Come to think of it, her second divorce from Richard Burton, I think, also came via headline. 

Taylor's first marriage to Conrad "Nicky" Hilton also went pretty fast in Liz. It went from marriage to spousal abuse to divorce probably within ten minutes if that. 

As I think more on Liz, I think that the film did Dame Elizabeth a terrible disservice. There is so much focus on her myriad marriages that one forgets that Taylor was more than her many romantic escapades. I figure that there was a reason why director Kevin Connor and screenwriter Burr Douglas opted not to touch on Taylor's screen performances. Taylor remained a star for decades. However, I do not think we got a hint of any of her performances. We saw her in costume for Giant, Cleopatra and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? but apart from that, Liz was all about glitz. We never saw her actually act save for perhaps a bit of Cleopatra. Even that was just set-up for the Burton-Taylor affair. 

Liz does not make a case for what exactly made Elizabeth Taylor such a legendary figure within her own lifetime. We never did get what made Taylor tick. What we got was beautiful people wearing beautiful costumes and sometimes making spectacles of themselves. 

Curiously, Liz is an adaptation of C. David Heymann's biography Liz: An Intimate Biography of Elizabeth Taylor. I say "curiously" because Liz left off some vital moments. During Cleopatra's long production, Taylor came dangerously close to dying when a viral infection turned into pneumonia. A last-minute tracheotomy saved her life. Yet I do not remember that being part of Liz. It might have been mentioned. However, if it was, it left little impression.

As stated, so much of Liz revolves around Burton and Taylor that one is surprised Liz just didn't stick with that. Two other television biopics were built entirely around the Burton-Taylor marriages: one being good, the other being dreadful. Liz is somewhere in the middle. Nowhere near as tawdry and laughable as Liz & Dick yet not as intelligent as Burton and Taylor. 

In terms of acting, Liz is all over the place. I have long considered Sherilynn Fenn one of the most beautiful women that I have ever seen. She is simply gorgeous as Elizabeth Taylor. Fenn astonishes the viewer with her beauty and grace on screen. Her Elizabeth Taylor comes across as both strong and vulnerable, a woman carried by passion. She also has a moral core despite her reputation as a black widow and femme fatale. 

Taylor early in her liaison with Burton says that she will willingly be his mistress. Later on, though, she is enraged when a still-married Burton proposes to her. "You can have a wife and a mistress. You cannot have a wife and a fiancée", she angrily tells him. Fenn as Taylor portrays a woman who comes into her own. A particularly surprising moment is when attempting to campaign for Warner, she takes offense at some of his positions. Taylor audibly boos his stump speech, shocking the donors. 

Sherilynn Fenn elevates Liz. Some of her fellow actors match her in acting. Some do not. William McNamara's role as Montgomery Clift is small. However, he does well even if McNamara does not look much like Monty. Nigel Havers' Michael Wilding was fine. He was not particularly great nor was he embarrassing himself. To be fair, there was an unintentionally amusing moment when Wilding storms onto the Marfa, Texas Giant location. He says that he flew in from El Paso to see what was going on between Taylor and Hudson. On his arrival, Havers' Wilding looks like a British butler.

Husband Number Three was played by Ray Wise. I found his take on Mike Todd to be really broad bordering on cartoonish. I give a little leeway in that Todd in real life was rather flashy. "You've been married to a kid and an old man", Todd tells Taylor when he first pushes himself into her life. I do not know if Liz intended to echo Rhett Butler's line to Scarlett O'Hara in Gone with the Wind. 

Wise at least was better than the actors who played Rock Hudson and James Dean. They did not look or sound like either of her Giant costars. They looked and sounded like random men that just wandered onto the Liz set and got thrown in there. 

And then there is Angus MacFayden's Richard Burton. As stated, the bulk of Liz centers around this notorious relationship. Therefore, MacFayden gets the lion's share of attention in the television miniseries.

MacFayden sounds fine, approximating Burton's luxurious Welsh tones. However, he also seemed to relish devouring the scenery at every single scene. There was no calmness to MacFayden's Burton. He was broad no matter what the situation. To be fair, Richard Burton could also devour the scenery with naked abandon both on screen and in real life. As such, I cannot fault Angus MacFayden for sometimes going over-the-top.

There was one moment when it looked unclear whether MacFayden and Fenn were playing their characters or the actors. It is during the section that covers the Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? production. MacFayden and Fenn are dressed as George and Martha from the film. However, Liz soon starts blending things to where one is unsure if they are attempting to rehearse Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? or actually live it out. It is interesting viewing. It is also a bit muddled.

"There's only one Elizabeth Taylor", her eighth and final husband Larry Fortensky observes at the end of Liz. Replies Taylor, "Thank heaven for that". Liz: The Elizabeth Taylor Story wanted to cover the breath of her life from her National Velvet appearance to 1992 (Taylor dying in 2011). With so much attention focused on her relationship with Richard Burton, something got lost in the miniseries. 

Elizabeth Taylor. 

1932-2011

5/10

Crime 101: A Review

CRIME 101

Crime 101 might mislead people into thinking that it is more action-packed than it ultimately is. 

Gentleman jewelry thief Mike Davis (Chris Hemsworth) has everything in his heists planned to the millisecond. He takes care never to harm anyone and leave no physical evidence, including DNA. His latest heist where he robs two men transporting a cache of diamonds has a near-miss when one of them pulls a gun and grazes Davis. He tells his fence Money (Nick Nolte) that he won't be pulling another heist, probably to recover from the shock of his near-miss.

Money appears to go along with that. However, he opts to bring in Ormon (Barry Keoghan), a young and reckless up-and-coming thief, to pull the aborted heist. Ormon is volatile, angry and undisciplined. He also harms people in the robbery. This puts a damper on a longstanding theory from Detective Lou (Mark Ruffalo). While the rest of the LAPD dismisses his idea, Lou is convinced that various thefts are from one person. The physical assault in the latest heist does not fit the pattern.

Something that does not fit the pattern is how insurance broker Sharon (Halle Berry) keeps getting pushed aside by her employer for others, mostly men, who have less experience and time with the company. Her latest efforts to land a big client, shady billionaire Monroe (Tate Donavan) are floundering. Davis hires someone to find information on Sharon, whom he thinks can help him in one last heist. He also is starting to see Maya (Monica Barbaro) who ran into the back of his car. 

The various threads connecting Lou, Sharon, Mike and Ormon all meet at the lavish wedding Monroe has set up for himself. He will give the wedding guests expensive watches and diamonds. He will also have millions of dollars in ready cash. Various disguises and deceptions take place for everyone to get into Monroe's hotel room. Who will make it out alive? Who will get ahead of everyone else?

Crime 101 runs a very lengthy two hours and twenty minutes. This is surprising in that Crime 101 is based on a novella by Don Winslow. One would think that a novella would not have so much material as to require something of this length. I wonder, never having read the Winslow novella, if screenwriter/director Don Layton added more to the final product. 

I think that Crime 101 might have benefitted from shortening the runtime. The subplots of Davis' romance and Lou's marriage troubles might have been trimmed. I would not necessarily advocate to remove them entirely. After all, Lou met Sharon through the yoga class, which he would not have taken up had he not been forced to move out. However, we also had a surprisingly long section where Lou's fellow cops faked the presence of a gun to justify a fellow officer shooting a jewel thief. We also had long scenes involving Sharon and Monroe, Sharon and Davis, Davis and Money, Davis and Ormon and so on.

I think one of my big issues with Crime 101 is that most scenes went on too long. I understand what Crime 101 was going for. It seemed to want to bring in elements of Pulp Fiction, Drive and Heat into it. The film is not entirely unsuccessful in that endeavor. It just seemed to me that far too many scenes dragged. 

Here is one of the complaints about Crime 101 has merit. I think there were people who thought that Crime 101 would have more action. This is a fair idea given that Crime 101 involves jewel theft. However, I think a lot of Crime 101 felt a bit more cerebral and philosophical. That is not necessarily, again, a bad thing. It just felt as if it were slightly out of place in a movie that could have used a bit more action.

Crime 101 is filled with talented performers. They did mostly well. The continuing efforts to push Chris Hemsworth as an actor or action star continue to meet resistance. One has to give Hemsworth credit in that here his Australian accent was not as prominent as it usually is. Perhaps he has been in the United States long enough to pick up how American English sounds and attempt a good approximation. One could still pick up a bit of his native Aussie tones, however. It makes Mike's backstory a bit hard to accept. 

I will have to give him credit in that Hemsworth is playing slightly against type. Davis is not a man of action. He is more a man of thought, someone who is methodical and mostly calm in his various heists. When he is not calm, he is often more agitated than angry. 

That agitation is handled by Barry Keoghan as the live-wire Ormon. I think Keoghan went slightly overboard in showing Orman to be a loose cannon. There seemed to be something exaggerated, almost cartoonish, about his efforts to play tough and crazed. Keoghan came across as someone trying too hard to play crazed, intense and dangerous. He might have done better trying to play Lou, though it would make it look odder. Ruffalo was a standout as Lou, weary but dogged. He was somewhere in the middle of Hemsworth's cool detachment and Keoghan's wild intensity. Halle Berry too was in good form as Sharon. This is a woman who struggles against the sexism and ageism around her. This motivates, in part, her actions. You can see the frustration of waiting for a promotion to partner that she accepts will not be forthcoming.

Monica Barbaro as Mike's love interest and Jennifer Jason Leigh as Lou's estranged wife Angie seemed lost in the shuffle. They are more plot devices than characters. I will give them credit in that they did what they could. I figure Nick Nolte could have been a bigger part of things. However, I think he was there for two to three scenes and always felt as if he were in an earlier draft that got put into the final film. 

Crime 101 has a Michael Mann feel with its cool California manner and visual style. I was reminded of Manhunter while watching drive (minus the serial killer). The focus on the city streets and Blanck Mass' electronic score also add to the sense that Crime 101 drew inspiration from Mann's body of work. 

Crime 101 was not bad. It could have been better if it were shorter. It is a bit slow, which weakened the film to me. I was reminded of George Lucas' primary direction on Star Wars. Crime 101 would have done better had it been "faster and more intense".

DECISION: C+

Solo Mio: A Review

SOLO MIO

There is a distinct pleasure in seeing a movie that is unapologetic and open about itself. Such is the case with Solo Mio. Simple, sweet and direct, Solo Mio charms the viewer with its story of love lost and found.

Matt Taylor (Kevin James) is over the moon when his elementary school teacher girlfriend Heather McNally (Julie Ann Emery) accepts his marriage proposal. It is off to Rome for a great wedding. Unfortunately, Heather has become a runaway bride. She leaves a Dear John letter along with Matt's engagement ring when she flees. Matt is understandably shocked and devasted. Worse, he cannot exchange or get a refund on the Two Become One travel package. 

He stays in Rome, convinced that Heather will return. He also opts to keep using the Two Become One package despite the obviousness of him being alone. Two couples soon note this and attempt to take Matt under his wing. One is Julian and Meghan (Kim Coates and Alyson Hannigan). They are on their third marriage to each other. The other is Neal and Donna (Jonathan Roumie and Julee Cerda). They met when Donna was Neal's therapist. Matt is flustered but accepting of the other couples' well-meaning though to him eccentric efforts. 

One person who does help is Gia (Nicole Grimaudo). She is the local cafe owner whose coffee shop is the starting point of the various Two Become One tours. Gia offers an understanding ear and a bright smile. She takes a shine to this bald American and soon whisks the reluctant and reticent American through Rome. Matt still pines for Heather but ultimately is convinced by his impromptu bros that he needs to move on.

The best way to do that is to invite Gia to Tuscany, the next leg of the Two Become One package. Gia, who is having difficulty with her landlord/ex, thinks it is the perfect opportunity to visit relatives in the area. Among them is none other than her Uncle Andrea, as in Andrea Bocelli. Will Matt and Gia find that they are meant to be?

Solo Mio is like a Tuscan sun. It is warm, bright and joyful. The script by John and Patrick Kinnane along with star Kevin James, knows that Solo Mio is intended as a sweet, slightly goofy romantic comedy. The film is something of a Kinnane family project, as Solo Mio is directed by Charles and Daniel Kinnane. 

The script is surprising in how there is nothing truly objectionable about it. It has one of the best subversions of expectations that I have seen in recent years. There is a subplot of Matt attracting the unwanted attention of Claudia (Caterina Silva). She is a lusty and usually drunk Italian woman who first bumps into Matt at the bar the other Two Become One couples take him to. As she keeps hitting on a still-shellshocked Matt, he tells him, "I like your hair". At first, it is suggested visually that Claudia and Matt will hook up due to their mutual drunkenness. In a clever twist, we find that this is not the case. In fact, it is a sight gag at Matt's expense.

Solo Mio takes some traditional tropes and upends them somewhat. Our two couples are eccentric and slightly silly. Julian's continuing insistence that Matt go after "the coffee lady" and Neal's meeker manner are presented in slightly broad ways. However, we also see that Julian and Neal have their own issues. A nice moment is when Julian and later Neal both walk into Matt's suite. They offer their own wacky comfort while also taking jabs at Matt. A slight argument about Matt wearing an Ed Sheeran t-shirt is played well. The Kinnane Brothers do not let the actors go over-the-top here in zaniness. In fact, it is surprisingly underplayed. It is nice to see these three couples (counting when Gia joins them) bond.

We see this when the couples and Matt go to a rooftop party. One would not expect that Julian and Neal's sincere but whacked out version of Dobie Gray's Drift Away would be the setting for a nice romantic scene between Matt and Gia. That in itself is oddly charming. That Claudia pops up to put her own mark on the scene makes it funny. 

Solo Mio is fully aware as a mix of sincere and slightly absurd. This carries over into the performances. While best known as a stand-up comic and sitcom star, Kevin James is called here to play something like the straight man. He makes Matt into a sympathetic figure without making him a tragic one. We do get a nice bit of dramatic acting from James when he reflects on his loss. He talks to a slightly uninterested and drunk Claudia about how he thought that he never thought he'd have a chance to marry, how he felt that Heather was a miracle only to have it blow up in his face; it is hard not to feel for him.

James also keeps to Solo Mio's slightly goofy nature, such as when attempting to downplay Julian and Neal's ideas of what he and "the coffee lady" might get up to in Tuscany. He makes Matt's curious plight a bit humorous in his stumbling manner. Attempting to make puns with Gia, he says, "I was trying to be funny". Without missing a beat, Gia replies quite cheerfully, "Keep trying". 

In this scene, we see Matt as a genuinely nice guy. We see Gia as equally pleasant, almost amused by this American. Grimaudo's delivery shows that there was no malice or sarcasm in her statement. She was actually trying to be helpful. Nicole Grimaudo is a standout in Solo Mio. She plays Gia as mostly cheerful and optimistic. It makes it easy to believe that she would eventually be enchanted by Matt. She does have some good dramatic moments. There is a scene in her cafe after the rooftop party where it is just Gia and Matt. Here, Gia also talks a bit about her background. The way it is both played and directed reveals a soft touch. We end up caring about the characters.

This extends to the supporting cast. Other actors perhaps would have made Julian a bit creepy or sleazy. Kim Coates makes Julian more clueless but well-meaning. At heart, Julian wants Matt to heal from this awful heartbreak. He goes about it by suggesting random hookups and pursuing "the coffee lady". Those might be poor choices. However, they come from a good place. Jonathan Roumie's Neal is the counter to Julian's more aggressive manner. He makes Neal's meeker manner pleasant but equally misguided. 

While Alyson Hannigan and Julee Cerda as Meghan and Donna have less to do, they also add to the overall charm. They are combative and dominant towards their husbands. However, they also love them and like everyone else, are well meaning. It is always nice to see Andrea Bocelli play a version of himself. It is also nice to hear him sing a few songs. Who would imagine that Bocelli and James dueting on Nessun Dorma would work?

Well, work as reasonably as it could considering that Matt does not know all the words. 

Solo Mio runs a brisk 96 minutes. Short, simple, sweet, amusing, delightful and self-aware, Solo Mio hits all the notes of a successful romantic comedy. The more I think on it, the more I am delighted with Solo Mio. Vincero indeed. 

DECISION: B+

Ella McCay: A Review

ELLA MCCAY

Ella McCay and Ella McCay are a disaster. Ella McCay seems to have been engineered into being one of the worst films ever made. That is the only explanation that I can find to describe how awful, how cringe inducing, how so wildly and spectacularly wrong Ella McCay went. 

Told in voiceover by Estelle (Julie Kavner), we learn all about Ella. Despite being a mere 34 years old, Ella McCay (Emma Mackey) is the Lieutenant Governor of "the Valorous State" (I initially thought that it was New York State). She is surprised when the popular Governor Bill Moore (Albert Brooks) tells her that he is going into the President's Cabinet as the new Interior Secretary. This will require his immediate resignation, elevating Ella to the governorship.

This new position puts her in an awkward position with her family. Her estranged father Eddie (Woody Harrelson) wants to reconnect with both Ella and her brother Casey (Spike Fearn) because his newest girlfriend Olympia tells him to. Olympia is a psychiatrist, so she puts the pressure on Eddie to mend his relationship with his adult kids, or she will cut off their relationship. Ella's husband Ryan (Jack Lowden) is initially thrilled to be the incoming First Gentleman. As the owner of a series of pizza restaurants, he imagines that he will now move into the big time.

One person who is not thrilled by Ryan is Eddie's sister, Aunt Helen (Jamie Lee Curtis). Helen has never liked Ryan ever since he hooked up with Ella when both of them were teens. Another person who is also not thrilled about incoming Governor McCay is Casey. He is a reclusive bookie who never makes contact with the family. Ella has more contact with her loyal state trooper guard Nash (Kumail Nanjiani) than she does with Casey.

Governor Moore switches to Governor McCay despite her inability to gladhand either the public or political donors. Ella gives a lengthy inaugural speech where she pushes for "the Mom Bill" which will give government aid to expectant and new mothers. It will also have "tooth tutors". This is where toothpaste companies will provide free toothpaste products to poor people. It will also bring dentists or dental students to poor and rural areas that have too much soda and too few dentists.

There is a scandal brewing, however. Ella and Ryan have been, shall we say, cavorting, in an unused apartment in the Capitol building during her lunch hour. Somehow, this can be construed as using government property for non-governmental use. An unnamed reporter has learned of this and wants "exclusive access" to the new Governor. Ella balks at such a thing. She is more appalled when Ryan not only admits to being the source but gives this reporter a $7500 check to make the story disappear. How long will the McCay administration last? Will Ella bring Casey around? Will they reconcile with Eddie? Will Casey reconcile with his ex, Susan (Eyo Edebiri)?

One watches Ella McCay in sheer astonishment that something so mind-numbingly stupid and incoherent could have come from James L. Brooks. The man behind Terms of Endearment and As Good as It Gets created something that seems to come from someone unfamiliar with movies, with people, or with logic. Ella McCay is idiotic from the word go. It is as if Brooks threw in various bits of half-formed ideas and sketches that did not work independently and thought that he could force them into working if he blended them all together.

It did not, not by a long shot. It is cringe-inducing seeing how Ella McCay flounders and flops about from Plot A to Plot W to Plot G to Plot Q before even remembering Plot A. Let us look at a few examples. In Ella McCay, Governor Bill is beloved and extremely popular (as Estelle's narration tells us). He is excited that he will be joining the Cabinet. Already something is wildly off with this plot point. Ella seems taken aback by the news, as if this came out of nowhere. She has to suddenly rush into being Governor. 

That makes no sense. You have to first be nominated by the President to a Cabinet post. You then go through a Senate confirmation hearing. That takes weeks to happen. As such, Ella would have known that Moore was being considered for a Cabinet appointment. She would not be caught off-guard. A sane person would have been prepared to assume office under the circumstances. 

Later in Ella McCay, however, Bill comments that Ryan's interview saying that Ella approved of a payoff would affect his Cabinet chances as he hadn't been confirmed yet. Does that mean that Moore resigned the Governorship BEFORE he was formally confirmed and appointed? That just does not make sense on any level. You have to be shockingly ignorant of how Cabinet appointments or government work. 

Granted, the minutia of Cabinet appointments may not matter overall in what is billed as a romantic comedy. Ella McCay, however, has other elements that are just stupid. We spend a long time on a subplot involving Casey and Susan. We frankly do not care about Casey and Susan. We never get a setup about Casey and Susan. We never get a reason to care about Casey and Susan. Once Casey, who denies being agoraphobic despite struggling to leave his apartment, goes to Susan, we get a very tedious scene with them. It is so dreadfully acted that one watches in pretty much horror than in anything else. Once Susan bizarrely agrees to start up their relationship, they pretty much disappear from the screen. 

They are not an interesting couple. They are not necessary in terms of the plot. They are just filler for a long movie (almost two hours). There is no set-up for their story. There is no interest during the time they are sucking up screentime. Fern and Edebiri look uncomfortable on screen. It is almost like watching an audition video than an actual performance.  

Jack Lowden's Ryan is a very contradictory character. Shown primarily as a goofball and idiot, we are supposed to believe that he turned evil after talking to his bitchy mother. He initially was delighted in the trappings of power, down to thinking that he could use the helicopter. Once his mother berated him for not saying anything when Ella failed to mention him in her inaugural address, he suddenly wants a political appointment. Put aside how a sane person with an ounce of intelligence would know that is not how appointments work. Why this sudden shift from dimwit to malevolent?

Ella McCay wants to have it both ways. On one hand, Ryan (who never got a last name on screen) is so moronic that he tells Ella that he gave this mysterious reporter a $7500 check because, "nobody likes carrying that much cash". On the other hand, he is so evil that he goes to a local reporter and says "Uh, well, my wife was the one who thought a payoff would be the way to handle it. And...it was her decision to end our marriage". He uses the term "payoff". Even a dolt like Ryan would know that he was saying that his wife, whom he apparently wants to divorce in a pique, was trying to bribe someone. Then again, perhaps he does not realize it. 

I do not know if Brooks realizes that closing Ella McCay by showing local health inspectors and police retaliate against Ryan paints Ella as corrupt and abusing her own power. 

Also, the "scandal" of Ella and Ryan having a little nookie during office hours does not strike me as the scandal Ella McCay pushes us to think that it is. I think most people would be more amused by a married couple schtupping in an unused Capitol room than appalled. Ella, had she any sense, would probably not fret about such insignificant matters. The unnamed and unseen reporter attempting to use this information as leverage would be an idiot for thinking this innocuous information was akin to Watergate.

Then again, I think everyone in Ella McCay is an idiot. Brooks should have the lion's share of blame for this total fiasco. His plot is all over the place, with story threads that go hither and yon, colliding with each other with no rhyme or reason. Over and over again plots and gags that are introduced are either never resolved or forgotten altogether. There is a bizarre subplot of Ella's security detail. State Trooper Nash, usually a cheerful and supportive fellow, is dismayed that his new partner Trooper Alexander (Joey Brooks, son of director James Brooks) hopes that now-Governor McCay's long stay at Casey's home means that they will get overtime. We are treated to this exchange.

Alexander starts sobbing when Nash insists that they should leave and not get overtime. "Sorry. I just could have used the extra money. The divorce is...the divorce is chomping me up". Replies Nash in a very calm tone, "She's getting what's fair, man". Alexander looks around and meekly replies, "Yeah". Later on, once Ella emerges to find both troopers asleep, she does not apologize to them for never formally releasing them. Instead, she berates Alexander for thinking of his overtime and half-pay during "The Great Recession". When they return to Ella's home, Nash takes his turn berating Alexander, telling him that there are many things that he can do with his kids that are free.

I was absolutely gobsmacked at all this. Nash and Ella show themselves as thoroughly unsympathetic to a character we are not introduced to and who pretty much again disappears. Who is Nash to decide if the former Mrs. Alexander "is getting what is fair"? Who is Ella to be so thoughtless and uncaring that she never formally permits the men assigned to protect her to leave?

Moreover, this comes after Ella, in a state of marijuana-laced speechmaking, tells Casey her economic stimulus plan. She will push to "jack up" license and registration fees, especially on commercial vehicles, to cover the cost of fixing substandard roads and ports. 

It is simply astonishing that Ella McCay would have been elected dogcatcher with such a proposal. It is simply astonishing that Ella McCay thinks that this woman would have even come close to being elected to even dogcatcher. One moment we get a lecture about how commercial vehicle owners/drivers should pay more. The next, a poor state trooper is told that he should have left his post because others are struggling financially. 

As the kids say, "make it make sense".

Put all that aside. Ella McCay is simply bad because it is so terribly acted. I do not know who Emma Mackey is. She was in the 2002 Death on the Nile remake and was dreadful in it. Here, she is I think attempting to be a weird mix of quirky and intelligent. Perhaps someone like Anne Hathaway could have made it work. Here though, Mackey came across as an obnoxious idiot who is the Queen of Failing Upward. No one in their right mind would think that Ella McCay would have achieved high office short of literal bribes being given and taken. This is a woman so dumb that she literally does not notice a poor staffer literally drooling next to her; said staffer is asleep and exhausted after the oblivious Ella has kept them locked in a staff room late into the night. That staffer is suddenly awakened when Ella has this kind of peppy cheer that she lets out.

There are no performances in Ella McCay. Everyone bar none is bad. Jack Lowden is directed to make Ryan goofy and evil. He is unconvincing either way. Jamie Lee Curtis attempts to liven things up by being almost unhinged in the faux cheeriness. Woody Harrelson has nothing to do but be the equally dumb father, unaware of his self-centeredness. I think that was meant to be funny. It just wasn't. Spike Fearn and Ayo Edebiri do nothing, except perhaps look deeply uncomfortable being anywhere near this debacle. Kumail opted to play Nash as eternally calm. That is a choice, I guess. Everyone thinks that by mugging for the camera they will make whatever they think is comedy work. It does not.

We also have Kavner popping in to be our narrator. Why is she the narrator? Why does she start by speaking directly on camera only to transition to straight voiceover we do not know. Why she, who plays Ella's secretary, get to be the narrator we do not know.

The state motto in the mythical state Ella McCay is set in is "Verum est Difficile" or "Truth is Difficult/Hard". Here is a hard truth: Ella McCay is a total, unmitigated disaster of a film. It is another sign that the man behind the dreadful How Do You Know can make something even worse than that monstrosity. 

There are movies that I have disliked. There are movies that I have hated. And then there is Ella McCay, perhaps the worst movie of 2025.  

DECISION: F