Ace Crawford, Private Eye: The Microchip Caper

ACE CRAWFORD, PRIVATE EYE: THE MICROCHIP CAPER

Written by: Rudy DeLuca

Directed by: Michael Preece

Original Airdate: April 5, 1983

Even by the standards of the time, Ace Crawford, Private Eye's fourth episode The Microchip Caper is shocking in its blindness. That, added to how unfunny it is, makes it another poor episode, where only the guest stars make it remotely watchable. 

Computer Technology Industries has a new powerful microchip under heavy guard. However, the best way to test its security is to find the best detective around. That would be Ace Crawford (Tim Conway). Techno International Insurance agent Alexandra Rivers (Christine Belford) hires Ace to see if he can break in and steal the microchip before TII puts up a million-dollar policy. If he succeeds, TII will reward him handsomely.

In truth, this is all a scam to use Crawford and his Guy Friday, Toomey (Joe Regalbuto), as patsies to steal the microchip for Rivers and CTI head Klaus Gutman (John Van Dreelen). Ace, knowing that the security is via handprints, gets the guard's handprint by posing as a Japanese businessman. Toomey will be his interpreter. 

Yes, you read that right. Tim Conway will try a variation of yellowface via a wig, bowler hat and heavy rimmed glasses. He fortunately foregoes pulling his eyes.

"Mr. Yakamata" manages to get the handprint and they break into CTI. Will Ace and Toomey make it out alive? Will they end up taking the fall?

What were they thinking? I figure that there was no deliberate intention to be offensive in The Microchip Caper by anyone involved with it. However, did no one ever wonder or question whether having Tim Conway spout vaguely Japanese sounding gibberish and stumble about would come across as maybe a bit offensive. 

It is a terrible moment in something that is not funny to begin with. If, perhaps, they had opted to make Ace's disguise to be a British lord or French businessman, one could have had some fun with things. However, by picking an Asian figure, The Microchip Caper decided to slip into uncomfortable territory. 

The fact that the writers and Tim Conway think this Asian apparition was funny makes them all look clueless. I figure that they were not trying to be offensive. It just looks that way.

I think The Microchip Caper's one bright spot is the guest star. Christine Belford tended to play posh, intellectual women. In Ace Crawford, she balanced out the femme fatale like figure with enough of a straight-faced comic manner to be in on the joke without becoming one. That is not to say that she played things totally straight. There is one painful moment where, owing to Ace's incompetence, he sets the feather on her hat on fire. The physical comedy in this moment is so obvious as to be criminal.

That being said, Belford seemed to get in on the broad manner of Ace Crawford, Private Eye. She made Alexandra Rivers appropriately villainous while also being appropriately silly. John Van Dreelen's Klaus Gutman (which was pronounced "Gootman" versus "Gutman") leaned in a bit more into the overtly overacted manner of the show. That being said, Christine Belford was fully aware, making her performance the best of the lot.

Credit should also be given in The Microchip Caper in that Dick Christie's Lieutenant Manning finally was doing his job. In the three preceding Ace Crawford episodes, Christie just popped in at the end, commenting on how Ace Crawford is a genius who manages to outwit the police. Manning still does this, but at least we see him doing something other than that.

I was surprised that The Microchip Caper seemed oddly stretched out. Once the criminals were caught, you would think we would have a bit of a wrap-up and end the episode. Instead, we get a strange suggestion from The Shanty chanteuse Luana (Shera Danese). When Ace says that he is going to sleep, Luana asks if he'd like someone to sing him to sleep. Crawford replies that he could always have the radio on. It looked as if The Microchip Caper would have finished early and they needed to stretch things out a bit more. 

The Microchip Caper continues the very curious manner of having Ace berate and belittle poor Toomey. The latter is a bumbler who clearly does not understand much of what is going on around him. However, you can't have a likeable protagonist if he's going to dismiss Toomey's fear of heights. I think Joe Regalbuto continues to be the best cast member and lifts the show from being truly unwatchable. However, there is only so much that Regalbuto can do. 

Even at the time, I think there is no excuse or justification for having Tim Conway attempt his Japanese theatrics. It is not funny. It is nonsensical. It is, I believe, to have been done without malice intended. It still comes across as tacky and tasteless.

The Microchip Caper gets points knocked down for this attempt at outdoing Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's. It wasn't, to be fair, as bad as that. It came awful close though.

1/10

Next Episode: The Gentleman Bandit