It is said that behind every great man, there is a great woman. I consider Robert F. Kennedy a great man. As such, would I consider Ethel Skakel Kennedy a great woman? Ethel, the documentary about the Widow Kennedy, shows a loving and devoted spouse to one of the most beloved political figures of the mid twentieth century. It does not, however, show us who she is apart from her beloved.
Ethel is directed by Mrs. Kennedy's youngest daughter, Rory, who was born after her father's assassination in 1968. Mrs. Kennedy, then 83, is pretty dismissive about the entire project. "All this introspection, I HATE IT!", Ethel Kennedy says somewhat in jest. One senses that Mrs. Kennedy considers a documentary about her a silly endeavor. Fortunately, all of Robert and Ethel's surviving children are also interviewed to fill in gaps that Mrs. Kennedy would rather not go into.
Mrs. Kennedy is very forthcoming about her own early years as a Skakel. Her family and the Kennedy family share many similarities. Both are large Irish Catholic families. Both had a fierce competitive streak. However, there were marked differences. The Kennedys were posher and more intellectually bent. They for example, as Ethel points out, discussed current events at dinner, which started at 7:15 on the dot. The Skakels, for their part, could start dinner at 5 pm or 10 pm and were more rambunctious. Her family was also self-made, with her father working to build up his fortune. The Kennedys, conversely, were essentially to the manor born.
Ethel had no shame in being a respectable albeit rebellious figure. She got along fabulously with her school roommate, Jean Kennedy. They also delighted in innocent scrapes. For example, they had received enough demerits to be prohibited from attending an event by the school. Ethel reports that she and Jean found the book, burned it, and attended the event anyway.
It was through Jean that she met Jean's younger brother, Robert. In her own words, Robert was considered the runt of the litter. He was smaller than his siblings, especially his older brother John whom Bobby idolized. However, he had a fierce determination to succeed. Ethel reports that he played football at Harvard because he showed up an hour earlier and left an hour later than everyone else. He even managed to letter in football despite playing with a broken leg. "He really wanted that letter," Ethel reflects.
Ethel was smitten on first sight, stating "Wow!" when asked what her first impression of Bobby was. She managed to win him over after her sister, whom he was dating, found another man. Once hitched, she was thoroughly devoted to him. Ethel was with him as he worked in government and helped Jack reach the Presidency. She brought the kids to committee meetings. She felt it was vitally important for them to see what he did. She also felt that the children needed to see how the other half lived; however, she was frozen out by Bobby when President Kennedy was assassinated. "It was like Daddy had lost both his arms", Ethel says. Ethel could not reach her husband until he set a goal to climb the recently renamed Mt. Kennedy in Canada. He did not enjoy a single minute of the expedition. However, in the most reflective moment in Ethel, she saw that it helped him finally emerge from his overwhelming grief.
Now, he starts out his own campaign, first for Senate for New York, then for the Presidency. Robert was not a natural campaigner, awkward and hesitant. Robert, however, knew that Ethel was what got him through. After his assassination though, Ethel emerged to forge something of her own life.
Ethel also has a wealth of archival footage. Of particular note is the wedding of Robert and Ethel, which shows a surprisingly lighthearted, even goofy side to the bride and bridegroom. The viewer gets anecdotes both amusing and mundane. For example, Robert Kennedy Jr. remembers that Mommy could not cook at all. Daddy, he observes, did not marry Mommy for her cooking. Something that does take even Ethel by surprise is the statistic that she was pregnant for 99 months of her life. That is unsurprising given that Robert & Ethel had eleven children. Ethel makes quick note that two of those children were dead when the documentary was made: David in 1984 of an overdose and Michael in 1987 in a skiing accident.
However, Ethel has a curious flaw. It is Ethel Kennedy herself. Ethel makes clear that this is not a woman who gives the past much thought. She is not one for reflecting or thinking on her impact in history. Some of that hesitancy is understandable. When they get to the assassination, one senses Rory attempting to draw more reflection out of her mother. "Then we lost Daddy", she says. Looking clearly uncomfortable, the Widow Kennedy merely states "Let's talk about something else", in a terse tone.
Senator Kennedy's assassination is a major part of Ethel Kennedy's life story. However, she will not delve into any aspect of it. Ethel Kennedy appears to already be reluctant to talk about herself. She seems perfectly happy to talk about her husband and her children. She can reflect on some of her in-laws. She can talk about the joys of campaigning for Jack in his various races. Ethel Kennedy, however, never mentions her sister-in-law, Jacqueline Kennedy.
A lot of the reflections and memories in Ethel are more from director Rory Kennedy's siblings than her surviving parent. That is not a bad thing. It is just that in some ways, Ethel is guarded about the documentary subject. It is almost as if Ethel is less documentary and more family home movie. Mrs. Kennedy had been a widow for forty-four years when Ethel was released. Yet, for a film that runs one hour and thirty-seven minutes, it devotes about the last ten to those forty-four years. She created the Robert F. Kennedy Center shortly after the assassination. She had to raise those eleven children without the love of her life (the oldest was seventeen, the youngest was born six months after Kennedy's death). She had a long second act, yet Ethel devotes almost no time to that second act.
One senses that she was more than that. Part of me understands that Ethel Kennedy did not see herself in lofty terms. She, at the end of the film, all but bristles at the idea that she could take any credit for her children to be involved in public service. I also suspect that Ethel Kennedy did not want to reflect on herself post-assassination even if she thought looking at the past was worth the time. However, for someone who wants to know what made Ethel Kennedy tick or wanted to know what her life was after June 4, 1968, Ethel gives them very little.
I saw a bit of my own mother in Ethel Kennedy. Both put family first. Both were not big into reflecting on the past. Both were more about the today than the yesterday. Ethel is a respectable portrait of a matriarch. Ethel Kennedy lived twelve years after Ethel premiered, dying in 2024. Ethel is a good primer into one of the unsung heroines of this political dynasty. It gives us a look into her long life with Robert F. Kennedy. Ethel might not be the intimate portrait of this political spouse that I think many might have expected or wanted. Then again, I figure that is exactly how Ethel Kennedy would want it.
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