R.I.P.D.: A Review

R.I.P.D.

When I first heard of the film R.I.P.D., in my naïve nature I thought it was a comedy that stood for Rhode Island Police Department.  I never read the Dark Horse Comic book series R.I.P.D. (the Rest In Peace Department) is based on, but from what I saw in the film the actual story, on paper, is probably highly interesting.  I can't say entertaining or brilliant but interesting nonetheless.  R.I.P.D. the film, however, is a hopeless mess, done in by a story that goes nowhere (after going in circles), dumb, predictable, and a sheer waste of everyone's time.

Told in voice-over (and longtime readers KNOW what I think of voice-over), we begin with the last day of Boston Police Detective Nick Walker (Ryan Reynolds).  He's married to the pretty Julia (Stephanie Szostak), but Nick is no good cop.  He buried some gold he and his partner Bobby Hayes (Kevin Bacon) had taken from a raid.  Greed of course, kills, as Hayes quickly kills off Nick during a raid.

Nick gets swept up to a netherworld, where the Proctor (Mary-Louise Parker) offers Nick a choice: either take a chance with Judgment or join the Rest In Peace Department.  The R.I.P.D. finds people who escape Judgment and masquerade as living humans.  These Dead-Os are to be returned.  Nick decides to join the force, but is none too pleased to be a rookie, especially to his new partner, Roycephus Pulsypher (Jeff Bridges), a Wild West sheriff who still wears his cowboy hat while driving a modern car.

Now, how do they get around Earth when they both are dead?  Simple: to the world they appear to be something other than how they look.  Roy looks like a hot model (Marissa Miller), while Nick gets stuck looking like an old Asian man (James Hong).  This incongruous pair hunts down Dead-Os, but Nick still can't let Julia go.  In their first capture we learn not only that Indian food can ferret out the dead but that there is some connection between the Dead-Os and the buried gold.

Through an informant for the R.I.P.D. we find that the gold Hayes and Nick stole has something to do with The Staff of Jericho, which when assembled can reverse the ascension of the dead to Judgment and send the dead back to Earth.  Hayes, of course, knows all this because, well, think as to how Hayes would know about this object that can bring the dead back to Earth (not to life, but to Earth).  Despite their bungling (such as how they allowed a Dead-O to be seen in all his grotesque glory by humans in his natural state), Eternal Affairs (yep, Eternal Affairs) may overlook this (unofficially) to let the boys bring in the Dead-O gang and save Earth.

For those who thought I couldn't star in 
a worse comic book film than Green Lantern...

Somehow, when I think of R.I.P.D., I kept thinking how, within the pages of the comics, it might have worked.  The switching from Nick to the old Asian man would be almost clever.  I think comic books have a greater freedom to allow bizarre premises to be accepted (such as Indian food being a trigger to unleash the Dead-Os to their natural state), but something got lost in translation from the graphic novel to Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi's screenplay (with story by Hay, Mandredi, and David Dobkin).  It may be not be all R.I.P.D.'s fault that its story is veering dangerously close to being a knock-off of another comic book-based film (Men In Black) in terms of story with the dead taking the place of MIB's aliens.  It just has the misfortune to have come in long after Men In Black's glory days where comparisons are pretty much a given.   

Even if we allowed that the stories of Men In Black and R.I.P.D. are similar, so much more makes R.I.P.D. an embarrassing disaster and sheer waste of time.  Everything within R.I.P.D. is so idiotically predictable (the villain gets caught so willingly!  the odds the Staff of Jericho, a plot device to keep the story going, would be the same thing Nick has!) and almost rushed.  We get that there's this supposed romantic undertone between Proctor and Roy, but nothing, not even their overt hostility, suggests they even know each other, let alone had some sort of passionate affair.

Other things that might work in the comic (transporting from the RIPD office to Earth via a bathroom that takes them to a VCR repair shop) is so unfunny on screen.  The few times we see the Old Asian guy and the hot model makes this more inconsistent, and then we get wild inconsistencies in R.I.P.D.'s own internal logic.  When one Dead-O appears he is so massive it goes on a rampage through Boston, destroying major buildings and clearly visible to humans.  However, we have to accept that this would never have happened before.  How is it even possible that these giant CGI creatures wouldn't go unnoticed?

Bridges made a parody of his Rooster Cogburn from True Grit and it is up for debate whether it was intentional or not, whether he was devouring the scenery because he knew he was stuck in junk or because he decided it was the only way to save what he could from this debacle.  Reynolds is the one who really makes a right mess of things.  His expression never really changes throughout R.I.P.D., and given that he's been in bomb after bomb (as well as how he can actually act but keeps getting pushed to 'leading man' roles that give him nothing to do but look pretty) this will only make things worse in terms of career. 

The comedy isn't funny.  The effects aren't convincing.  The story is idiotic and predictable.  When Roy starts literally singing the blues, I figured the film had jumped way off the rails and there was no way of getting it back on.  Worse, to suggest, even ever-so-slightly, that there might be a sequel is flat-out insulting to the audience that suffered through all this. 

R.I.P.D. should be shot on sight.

DECISION: D-

Ender's Game: A Review

ENDER'S GAME

I tried to read Ender's Game, but two things kept me from finishing.  First, school became simply too burdensome for me to take on anything else.  Second, I couldn't get into the story of this brilliant but troubled child trained for war.  However, I did remember parts of the novel while watching Ender's Game, and I was surprised by both how close the film stayed to my memories and how on the whole the film worked.   Ender's Game has not been successful, and I cannot figure out why.  It has an interesting story, it's well-acted (mostly) and has some strong moments of tension while asking questions of morality in war. 

Earth was attacked by aliens and was on the verge of conquest when Mazer Rackham led a suicide mission that destroyed the mothership and saved humanity.  Ever since then, Earth has prepared for a reencounter with the aliens, and as part of that strategy they prepare their brightest and youngest to train in Battle School if they are seen to be endowed with great intellectual and military powers.  Among those students is Ender Wiggins (Asa Butterfield), a bright but highly troubled student.  He is the third child in the family, a rarity on Earth (requiring special permission I think).  Ender is psychologically somewhere between his hot-headed brother Peter (Jimmy 'Jax' Pinchak) and his sweet and sensitive sister Valentine (Abigail Breslin).  Ender is a genius in strategy, attracting the attention of Colonel Graff (Harrison Ford).  He gets Ender to go to Battle School, even if psychologically Ender wavers.

In Battle School, Ender both rises and falls.  While his abilities are not in question, his nature is not as brutal as Graff hopes for.  There is also the matter of leadership: he quickly goes from the lowest levels of training to joining a squadron, the Salamanders, headed by bully Bonzo Madrid (Moises Arias).  Ender does befriend Petra Arkanian (Hailee Steinfeld), one of the few women at Battle School.  While Ender does well, he is constantly being held back by the vindictive Bonzo.  Graff, however, decides to reactive an old Squadron, The Dragons, and even lets the now-Dragon Commander Ender select his army.

Now we see that Ender is more than capable of leading whole armies, though whether he is emotionally capable of that is still in question.  There is a struggle between the compassionate psychiatrist Major Anderson (Viola Davis) and Graff. 

Graff wins out.

Ender, however, lets his rage get the better of him.  In a confrontation with Bonzo, who has been ruthless in his actions against Ender, gets into a physical fight in the showers with Bonzo, which causes a terrible accident.  Guilt-ridden, Ender leaves, but then is persuaded to return by his sister, with whom he is still close.  Graff, now with his Dragon leader ready, take them to a former colony to complete his training.  We get a shocking twist: Rackham is not dead.  Rackham (Ben Kingsley) will be his mentor as Ender and his Dragons play war games.  Most of the time they win, and at least once they lose when Ender micromanages his team.  However, in the end they do win the ultimate victory when Ender decides to destroy the entire planet of the aliens in order to be victorious.

It is only after he and his team have won that they are told the truth.  These were not simulations.  These were the real battles, with real casualties, and most importantly, with real extermination.  Ender, so horrified by his actions, follows the dreams he has been having to venture outside the protective bubble on the former colony to find an egg of the aliens he's destroyed, and now will venture to place it somewhere safe.

I'm not too bothered by the idea that Ender's Game suggests a sequel given that Orson Scott Card's novel is the first in a series.  I can't say that it is a violation of one of my Golden Rules of Filmmaking: Never Suggest There Will Be A Sequel.  However, it is up to the audience (particularly those who haven't read or heard about the mythos of Ender Wiggins) to decide whether leaving such an open-ended conclusion to the film is a good idea or not.

I again cannot say whether the film stays close to the source material.  Instead, let me focus on the aspects that I thought worked.  First, we have some excellent performances.  Butterfield has grown up considerably since I last saw him in Hugo.  Here, his expressive eyes showed a young man, bright but troubled, struggling between what the adults wanted him for and how he could bring himself to overcome his own trepidations.  Ender Wiggins isn't a hero per se; he's a survivor, someone who has the intelligence to outwit his enemies but not able to control the rage within him.  I imagine that in the novel he struggles between the fighting nature of his brother and the gentle nature of his sister, but in screenwriter/director Gavin Hood's adaptation that had to be a bit more opaque. 

Yet I digress.  Butterfield captures the contradictory nature of Ender: the boy who is a tactical genius but who is still at the end of the day, a boy attempting to fit in and be liked.  The constant tug between both aspects of his nature is compelling to watch, and it is good to see Butterfield working so well to integrate himself in roles that see him shift from boy to man.

Harrison Ford was equally strong as Graff, a commander who sees nothing other than a way to win the ultimate victory regardless of the cost.  Ford plays the part correctly: that of the determined warrior, and I thought that this is another excellent performance in an excellent year for him in two great films (this and 42).  While Kingsley's Maori make-up might be jarring I think it shows an effort to have a more open declaration of other cultures. 

On the whole I think both Steinfeld and Breslin worked well as the best friend and sister of Ender.  Steinfeld might not have had the greatest role but she shows that she can act (which had those watching Romeo and Juliet in doubt).  About the only real weak link acting-wise was Arias.  His height isn't his fault, but his 5'1" figure is so jarring whenever he comes up against anyone (in particular the 5'10" Butterfield) that it almost comes across as comical.  Even worse, Arias devours the screen with his wild overacting that it becomes sad to watch. 

The visuals work so well, in particular when the Dragons begin a series of attacks.  Without any 3-D effects, the screen is so filled with the spaceships and the children leading the attacks that we feel as if we are actually there. 

I do find some things not to my liking.  There is Steve Jablonsky's music, which at times felt like it was borrowing from The Dark Knight.  I also found that while at times Donald McAlpine's cinematography worked well, at times the camera work (in particular whenever the teams were in the Battle Dome) was making me seasick.  Yes, the Battle Dome sequence was beautiful, but it was also a bit nauseating. 

These, however, are minor points.  I was highly impressed with Ender's Game.  It allows the deep questions of the novel (the morality of destroying a whole planet/civilization to save your own) is not short-shifted.  After learning the truth of the final battle Ender shouts that the way we win matters, something that sometimes we don't ask in this era of perpetual war.  The film has great performances and excellent visuals, and I think the best compliment I can offer in regards to Ender's Game is that it is the type of film that makes one want to read the novel.    

DECISION: B+

Doctor Who Story 243: The Day of The Doctor

STORY 243: THE DAY OF THE DOCTOR

EDITOR'S NOTE:  In conjunction with my sister site Gallifrey Exile I've opted to publish The Day of The Doctor review here as well.

Impossible Things Are Happening Every Day...

This is the Second in a Trilogy regarding The Day of The Doctor.  Last time it was on the NuWho fans celebrating a 50th Anniversary while being continuously and almost stubbornly unaware of the first 40 years.  This entry is a formal review.  The third...well, Spoilers...

Let's start right off the bat by saying The Day of the Doctor is a remarkably stupid title for any Doctor Who episode, let alone what has been touted as the 50th Anniversary Special.  The title is so damn bloody close to the last Doctor Who story (The Name of the Doctor) that I constantly kept calling The Day of the Doctor The Name of the Doctor.   Someone MUST have thought that the titles were simply too similar to not make people wonder, right?  Of course, this was before I learned that the Christmas Special is to be called...The TIME of The Doctor.

Name, Day, and Time.  All that's missing is Rank.

In any case, The Day of The Doctor purports to be the 50th Anniversary Special to one of the most wildly-successful science-fiction shows on today, which has gone from cult to mainstream to almost mania.  I have wondered whether Doctor Who's massive popularity has damned the show to being mere spectacle, all bright lights and rapid pacing to cover plot holes and continuity errors to please a group of rabid fans who know little to nothing about what came before the show's revival in 2005.  I'd argue that most fans celebrating The Day of The Doctor know only or almost exclusively nothing but Doctor Who episodes from Rose onwards, the Ninth through Eleventh Doctors being their primary points of reference.  I've already talked about that, but now in the second part of our trilogy, let us go over the actual episode itself.

The Day of The Doctor cannot be called a 50th Anniversary Special because there is so little within it to actually suggest that much came before it.  There are nods to the Original Series (starting from the opening credits, which are the original opening credits seen in 1963 sans the 3-D effects), but apart from a few (which I'll mention here and in the future) so much of The Day of The Doctor revolves around 2005 onwards: the Doctors in the special, the Time War that has been dominant in NuWho, Companions and characters that came after Rose.  Leaving aside the dearth of acknowledgements of anything Who-related pre-2005 The Day of The Doctor is a big, lavish, loud spectacle that does the unthinkable: celebrate not the show itself but the revived series' ability to basically 'hit the reset' and erase so much that came before that it would be more intellectually honest to have Tom Baker onwards just open his eyes and say, "It was all a dream..."

Clara (Jenna Coleman), now a teacher at Coal Hill School, receives a message that 'her doctor' has called.  She jumps on her motorbike and speeds towards a desolate place, where the TARDIS and The Doctor (Matt Smith) await.  No time to go gallivanting as the TARDIS is picked up by helicopter and transported to The National Gallery in London, where Kate Stewart (Jemma Redgrave), UNIT's Head of Scientific Research (perhaps the 'scientific advisor'?) and her aide Osgood (Ingrid Oliver) inform the Doctor that he was appointed the Curator of the Undergallery by Queen Elizabeth...the First.

In the Undergallery the Doctor is presented a Gallifreyan painting (bigger on the inside than the outside), with two titles: Gallifrey Falls or No More.  This painting is of the fall of Arcadia, Gallifrey's second city during the Last Day of the Time War.

We now inside the painting to The Last Day of The Time War.  The War Council knows things are going badly, and a strange figure identified by the Daleks as The Doctor (John Hurt) blasts into the walls "No More".  The War Council discovers that there is one weapon of last resort missing: The Moment, a weapon so powerful that not only can swallow galaxies but has grown a conscience.

The Doctor (or War Doctor if you like) goes into the desert to set the Moment, but he not only cannot open it (bemoaning the lack of a big red button) but the conscience of The Moment takes shape in the form of Rose (Billie Piper), or more specifically Bad Wolf Rose.  She urges him to think of The Children before using The Moment, and she opens a time fissure to show him his future.  Through this fissure drops in...a fez.

After examining more of the Undergallery (including picking up a fez), the mystery of the paintings grow.  The glass has been broken from the inside of the paintings.  As part of the examination of the Undergallery, we see a portrait of Good Queen Bess with her husband, The Tenth Doctor. 

Now it's off to Merry Olde England 1562, where The Doctor (David Tennant) is courting Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth I (Joanne Page) in a lovely picnic.  Things are going well, even to Her Majesty accepting the Doctor's marriage proposal.  The Doctor, however, knows that The Queen is NOT The Queen, but a Zygon.  Only, one small error...the Zygon is NOT the Monarch, but instead the horse he rode in on.

In the chaos and confusion of having Queen Elizabeth I and her Zygon double with him unable to fully find the fake from the real, a time fissure appears and in drops...a fez.  Now from the portal the Eleventh Doctor drops in the Tenth.

There's some banter, when from this comes The War Doctor, seeking the Doctor.  Now the three are arrested by Queen Elizabeth I and thrown into the Tower of London, thrilling Eleven but not pleasing either Ten or War.

Meanwhile, Clara is taken by Kate to the Black Archive, where the memory of every worker is wiped out at the end of their shift.  This explains why the TARDIS-proof Archive has photographs of all the Doctor's past Companions, including Clara.  Within the Archive is the Time Vortex Manipulator bequeathed to them by Captain Jack Harkness on his death (or at least one of them).  There's a dark twist for Clara, however, as Kate and Osgood are really Zygons about to take over the Earth.  Clara, however, gets the access code to the Manipulator (cleverly scratched on the walls of the Tower by the Eleventh Doctor all those centuries ago) and speeds to Elizabethan England.

The Doctors all attempt to a.) escape the Tower and b.) think of how the actions of the unacknowledged Doctor affects them.  In order for them to find a way out the War Doctor starts calculations on his sonic screwdriver, and the three discover that these calculations, which would take hundreds of years to complete, have been going on through all the other Doctor's sonics, completing at the time of the Eleventh.  However, all that for naught, as Clara comes in and informs them that the door had been open all that time.

Elizabeth, who we eventually discover is pretending to be a Zygon, tells them of the paintings, which is how the Zygons are freezing themselves until the appropriate time...2013 London.  Of course, we have to pause for Ten to marry Her Majesty, then off in the TARDIS to save the world.  In the Archive, the Zygons and the Humans are about to play chicken, Kate determined to blow up the city to save the world.  Fortunately, Eleven had called from the future to the present to get the Gallifrey Falls/No More painting into the Black Archive, and then the Doctors all burst through it and force the warring sides to peace.  The War Doctor, however, knows he must use The Moment.

He is joined, however, by Ten and Eleven, who decide they will share the burden of using The Moment to destroy the Daleks AND the Time Lords.  Clara is heartbroken that it's HER Doctor who kills The Children, but now he and the other two have decided to do the unthinkable: they will rewrite history and SAVE Gallifrey.

They race their TARDISes (TARDI?) to the besieged Gallifrey and when the War Council is told of their plans (to freeze Gallifrey and lock it in a statis cube to make it appear that the Daleks, who would be destroying themselves in the confusion and make the universe think Gallifrey was destroyed too), they tell the Doctors the calculations would take centuries.  However, not to fear, as all the incarnations of the Doctor appear to the Council to space their own TARDI and join forces.  All twelve, the Council thinks, until one of the Council says, "No.  All THIRTEEN" (and we get a quick glimpse of the upcoming Doctor). 

Plan successful the War/Tenth/Eleventh Doctors make their farewells.  The time streams are too confused to allow them to remember all of this, so the Ninth and Tenth Doctors won't remember saving Gallifrey and think instead they destroyed it.  (I digress to say that when the War Doctor says, "but at worse, we failed doing the right thing as opposed to succeeding in doing the wrong", the only thing that came to mind was OneRepublic's Counting Stars: "I feel something so right doing the wrong thing/I feel something so wrong doing the right thing".)  Tenth also will not know his future death on Trenzalore, but for now things are good.  However, the Curator (Tom Baker) tells Eleven that people always get the title of the painting wrong.  The painting has two titles: No More or Gallifrey Falls, but he tells the Doctor that it's not two titles but one: Gallifrey Falls No More.   Gallifrey survives, and now the Doctor can search for it.

I know that the NuWho fans who were watching The Day of The Doctor in the theater were thrilled with everything about the episode (one of Bryan Majewski's friends who sat next to me used the word, 'brilliant' to describe how Gallifrey survived), but that was just something that felt wrong to me.  I was never a fan of The Time War and thought from the get-go that it was a mistake to erase Gallifrey when Doctor Who was rebooted.  Despite that, what motivated The Doctor was survivor's guilt, the hurt and rage within him to have to exterminate his own people to save the universes.  With this timey-wimey reboot (something writer Steven Moffat is simply too fond of) that is all erased, rendering a lot of post-Rose Doctor Who either nonsense or just a waste of time.  When those episodes are watched, we know that he is going through all this for nothing.

Again, he might just as well wake up and say, "it was all a dream".

However, let's move on from that (more on that another time) and move on to whether The Day of The Doctor worked.  It didn't, again because the stakes are now never going to matter.  If we are always going to resolve things by basically going back and altering history (even if it means contradicting or erasing what came before) what tension exists in any story, let alone this story?

I note that at least twice times things were basically reset to get the Doctor out of his predicament (when the Doctor makes the call to send Gallifrey Falls/No More to the Black Archive and when The Doctors all jump in to save Gallifrey).  This is an easy way to get out of the difficulties Moffat gets into but it diminishes the Doctor's greatest virtue: his ability to think his way out of situations. 

However, there are other things that fell flat.  A big problem is in the performances.  Page was simply unbearable as Elizabeth I, turning the Warrior Queen as nothing more than a breast-heaving fangirl, permanently infatuated with the Tenth Doctor (perhaps she was suppose to represent all those little girls who fantasize about Tennant, Smith, and to a lesser degree Christopher Eccleston sexually?  However, I would have thought the Osgood character, down to wearing a Fourth Doctor-type scarf, was parody enough).  I was also surprised to see Tennant give a bad performance.  There were times when he seemed not so much bored but frustrated, as if he couldn't make himself believe what he was saying. 

Take when he tells Liz that he knows she's a Zygon via a machine.  He presents it to her and says, "Ding."  "What's that?", she screeches (I'm serious, Page was embarrassing throughout The Day of The Doctor).  "A machine that goes 'ding'", he replies.  This is something that I imagine the Eleventh Doctor would say, not the more serious Tenth.  Yes, Tenth could be goofy, but not this goofy.  Similarly, when Tenth revisits his Big Speech about who he is from Voyage of The Damned, he stops his tense tone when he realizes he's talking to a real rabbit and not a Zygon.  It's thrown in there to please the fans, but it takes it all out of context: what was once a statement of courage and defiance now is a chance to either wink to the hard-core NuWho fanbase or just mock the Tenth Doctor.

I actually felt a touch sorry for Tennant, one of the better Doctors, who was veering close to parodying his Doctor to please those passionate for the dim-witted Eleventh.  While watching him, the phrase "Don't you think he looks tired?" popped into my head.

Not as bad as I felt for Billie Piper, whose Bad Wolf Rose is there just to basically be there.  For being a sentient doomsday machine she isn't taking much of this seriously.  Perhaps it is too tempting to ask at this juncture why a figure from his future would appear as opposed to someone from his past (say, Lalla Ward's Romana II or Carol Anne Ford's Susan Forman, the Doctor's granddaughter, both who are very much alive, but since that might confuse NuWho fans...).  Serving as the Clarence to the War Doctor's George Bailey, Piper has not much to do.  Frankly, any old Companion would have done.

Here perhaps is why I find it so hard to call The Day of The Doctor an actual 50th Anniversary Special.  All the Doctors and Companions: NuWho.  All the characters save the monsters: NuWho.  The guest character of Queen Elizabeth I: NuWho.  As I said, there are nods to the Original Series (certain lines and little hints), but on the whole nothing really connected The Day of The Doctor to anything from An Unearthly Child to Survival/Doctor Who: The Movie.

More things that I found generally displeasing were Murray Gold's score (I hated the cutesy and/or serious music blaring at us to virtually no end) and the visual effects.  Yes they were big and bold, but they were too reminiscent of Star Wars, almost as if they were showing off in the Last Day of The Time War just how much money they spent on it.

However, I'm not in the habit of thoroughly damning something if I find something good.  John Hurt was brilliant as The War Doctor, bringing a sense of pain and emotional weight to the role.  He also showed Tennant and Smith that sometimes taking and behaving seriously makes one a more authoritative figure.  Whenever he mocked his successors tendency to whip out their sonic screwdrivers or their silly catchphrases (Timey-Wimey?) Hurt showed not only the presence of intelligence (and how in the past, the Senior Doctor always knew better than those that followed...like a Dandy and a Clown), but in his regret and fear of the course he had to take made the Doctor a deeply wounded and conflicted character.

As much as I detest Smith I found that his scenes on Gallifrey with Coleman, when he isn't flipping his hands, when there is no music, when he is allowed to take things seriously, you actually get a good performance out of him.  When he discusses the pain of his past act with a distressed Clara, it was deeply moving and touching.  In fact, when things get past the whiz-bang of the lights and the loud music, when things are allowed to be taken seriously and settled down, we find that not only are the actors good but the scenario can be emotionally rewarding.  Seeing Tennant, Smith, and Hurt about to blow up Gallifrey, no sounds apart from their voices, makes things feel tense. 

For me, as someone who is more geared towards Classic Who than NuWho, who has become disillusioned with Doctor Who (in particular with the Smith/Moffat Era), The Day of The Doctor didn't celebrate 50 years of a television series.  It didn't even really celebrate the eight years its current regeneration has been on.  The Zygon subplot wasn't all that necessary to the overall story of rebooting the Time War (and I wondered why Elizabeth I didn't just wipe out the Zygons rather than allow them to keep going into the paintings).

I think that if I were fair The Day of The Doctor would really rank at 4/10 because in many ways it's better than some of the awful Classic Who stories (The Ark, The Gunfighters, Timelash).  However, I knock one point down for it failing to be an actual anniversary special.  What The Day of The Doctor was the 'handy-dandy big shiny reset button' writ large. 

3/10

Next Episode: The Time of The Doctor

SERIOUSLY...THE TIME OF THE DOCTOR AFTER THE NAME OF THE DOCTOR AND THE DAY OF THE DOCTOR?  So long as Capaldi's debut story isn't The Tea Time of The Doctor or The Afternoon Nap of The Doctor or even The Doctor of The Doctor...

Great Expectations (1946): A Review (Review #590)

GREAT EXPECTATIONS (1946)

Life Is Not a Pip for Pip...

I tried to read Great Expectations, but truth be told I found it exceptionally boring (and this from someone who loves Charles Dickens).  My friend Fidel Gomez, Jr. (who may or may not be dead) suggested I read Great Expectations a chapter a day rather than reading continuously, since it reads better as a series of adventures rather than a straight book. 

Perhaps.

I do know enough of the plot to plunge into the first adaptation of Great Expectations.  David Lean created a brilliant adaptation, mixing the moody visuals with a story that keeps one interested (albeit moving a bit slowly for my tastes).

In voice-over, Pip (John Mills) narrates our tale.  He starts out as a young orphan, taken in by his unpleasant sister named "Mrs. Joe" (Freda Jackson) and her kindly blacksmith husband (Bernard Miles).  While going to visit his parent's graves, Pip is accosted by an escaped criminal, demanding food and drink and threatening to have his fellow escapee kill Pip and his family.  A terrified Pip does as he's told, going so far as to steal the bullying Mrs. Joe's pork pie.  Before he is discovered though, the criminals are caught, and the one that bullied him, Magwitch (Finlay Currie) takes the fall for the pie.

Some time later, the wealthy but reclusive Miss Havisham (Martita Hunt) requests Pip come visit her and her ward, Estella (Jean Simmons).  Miss Havisham is a truly bizarre figure: jilted on her wedding day, she continues to wear the bridal gown she had on before news of her runaway groom came to her, the wedding feast still laid out, with only the rats to delight in the mummified cake.  She wants a playmate for Estella, but in reality, she is training her to take revenge on all men by having them fall in love with her only for Estella to later reject them.  Pip does indeed fall in love with Estella, though she is terribly cold with him. 

More time passes in this odd game, and Pip discovers that he has a mysterious benefactor, one who wishes 'great expectations' for him.  He now abandons his apprenticeship with Joe and goes to London to become a gentleman, where the benefactor's lawyer Mr. Jaggers (Francis L. Sullivan) and his selected roommate Herbert Pocket (Alec Guinness) will handle his finances and show him how to be a gentleman. 

As is the case in life, mo' money mo' problems.  Estella (Valerie Hobson) has indeed grown beautiful and cold, turning from Pip to the dull Bentley Drummle (Torin Thatcher) whom she cares nothing for.  All this time Pip suspects that the mysterious benefactor is Miss Havisham, but we find that it is Magwitch himself, grateful for Pip's kindness and never having forgotten it.  Magwitch has made a fortune in Australia, but returning to Britain puts him in danger of getting locked up again.

Jaggers, ever loyal to the employer his shrewd legal mind won't recognize, tells Pip, "Take nothing on its looks; everything on evidence.  There is not better rule."  Why did he think Miss Havisham was his benefactress?  Why was Estella so cold?  What of Estella's parentage...how is Magwitch related to that question? 

Pip, having met his 'great expectations' and found them lacking, confronts the cold Miss Havisham and colder Estella.  Havisham, having seen the extent that her vengeance has wrecked so many lives, attempts to call Pip back, but her gown catches fire and she is killed.  The truth comes out at last: Magwitch is caught attempting to escape with Pip and Pocket's help but is killed in the process, and when Drummle discovers Estella's true past he abandons her.  Estella appears to be repeating the mistakes of her patroness, but Pip forces the window curtains open, and now perhaps Pip and Estella can enter the world with hope.

Great Expectation has all those Dickensian coincidences that I have come to see are Chuck's modus operandi.  What ARE the odds that Magwitch (the criminal Pip meets) would be Estella's father (who was taken in by Miss Havisham, who knows of Pip)?  What ARE the odds that Mr. Jaggers would be the lawyer to BOTH Miss Havisham AND Magwitch (thus giving the impression of who was helping Pip)? In Charles Dickens' novels I find that coincidence plays a major role: the relationship between the  Evremondes and the Mannettes in A Tale of Two Cities, Oliver Twist being the long-lost nephew of the family that rescued him.  Great Expectations does not stray from these aspects (though again, never having gotten through the novel I cannot say how close it is to the original). 

However, Lean creates this creepy, moody world where Pip finds himself going from the gentleness and sincerity of Joe's lower-class to the rarified world of wealth only to find that money cannot bring happiness.  Think of those characters that have money: Miss Havisham and her greedy relatives waiting for her to die, Magwitch running from the law.  They are not happy at all, and Pip learns that those 'great expectations' are fraught with falsehoods.

Among Great Expectations brilliant moments come from the visuals.  The spooky moor and graveyard, the decayed opulence of Havisham's heartless mansion, the genteel squalor of Pip and Pocket's digs: they themselves tell us as much of the story and characters as the spoken dialogue.  If anything, Great Expectations is a beautiful film visually.

In terms of performances there is some extraordinary acting in the film.  Hunt's Miss Havisham is a cold, cruel being who by the end finds that she has been wrong.  While we don't actually see her burn (and she certainly deserves to burn) we do feel empathy for her.  Simmons, only a child at the time, is brilliant as the cold and heartless Estella.  In a smaller role, Jackson's Mrs. Joe inspires total hatred for how mean and bullying she is.

However, we can't leave out Mills' Pip, who goes from a gentleman to a man, as well as Guinness' light turn as the comic Pocket, eager to help in any way he can.

If I were to find any faults in Great Expectations, is that it feels terribly long (and this is after Lean, along with Ronald Neame, Anthony Havelock-Allan, as well as Kay Walsh and Cecil McGivern, streamlined the novel).   It just felt as if the film is so long that it starts to drag.  However, this is a minor complaint. 

Great Expectations is a strong adaptation of a book I found a bit dull.  Minus the sometimes-slow movement I found it to be well-made, well-acted, and well worth the time, particularly if you love the book. 

DECISION: A-

Franklin & Bash: Season Three Overview

FRANKLIN & BASH: SEASON THREE

Breckin the Law...

How did it get to be this way?  How was it that Franklin & Bash, a show that I loved the First Season, turn into a show I despise by Season Three to where I wonder whether it is worth my time watching anymore?

The problems of Franklin & Bash that I saw in Season Two (the growing immaturity of the lead characters, the stupidity of their cases, their inability to win without stunts) have only grown in Season Three.  While Breckin Meyer's Jared Franklin and Mark-Paul Gosselaar's Peter Bash were once fun-loving but basically good and competent lawyers who could think their way to solutions, Franklin & Bash's co-creators Kevin Falls and Bill Chais now make them into self-absorbed jerks, dim-witted, incapable of anything resembling functioning humans, and in the case of Franklin, someone who despite all protests to the contrary may be a closet homosexual in deep denial that he is in love with his best friend.

Let's look at the episode rankings.  In Season Three of Franklin & Bash, like in Season Two, only three episodes went above an average of 5 (that's three out of ten episodes).  Unlike last year, though, none of them managed the lowest score possible (that is a 1/10 for Freck). 

The scores:

The Highest: Gone in a Flash (7/10)
The Lowest: Freck (1/10)

In Order From Best to Worst:

1.) Gone in a Flash
2.) Good Lovin'
3.) Shoot to Thrill
4.) Captain Johnny
5.) Dead and Alive
6.) Out of the Blue
7.) Control
8.) By the Numbers
9.) Coffee & Cream
10.) Freck

Average Score: 4

It's gone down from 4.6 (almost five, making Franklin & Bash an average show) to now below average. 

In short, Franklin & Bash just flat-out sucks.

I think the big problem with Franklin & Bash today versus how it started is with in how the two leads are devolving.  The continued behavior of these two, particularly Meyer's Franklin, has gone from charmingly goofy to downright cruel.  Take how dismissive they are towards Reed Diamond's Damien Karp when he is charged with murder.  Sure, eventually they defend him, but afterwards they attack him with fruit launched at him through a baseball-pitching machine (one they decide to keep and bill to the firm rather than spend their money because...well, because they just want to keep it).

I can't bring myself to root for people who not only treat others with contempt, but think they are immune from criticism of any kind.

There are also other elements I find distasteful.  At first they were able to win their cases through getting their antagonists to trip themselves up.  Now they win by pulling elaborate tricks that I doubt people would approve of.  Going back to the abysmal Freck, they first doctor photos of the D.A.'s wife in bed with Pindar, and after that backfires, they tell their client to plead guilty to a crime they all know he didn't commit in the hopes of tricking the villain.  This is stretching things way too far, relying on outside factors they have no control of.

Let's also throw in Heather Locklear's new character Rachel King.  I figure she was brought in to give them an antagonist that, unlike the easily defeated Karp or flat-out bonkers Stanton Infeld (Malcolm McDowell), could not easily be either intimidated or impressed by their charm or antics.  She started out well but by mid-season she seems to be an afterthought, not arguing many cases and not using her power to reign in Franklin & Bash's eccentric antics.  When King did begin to reestablish prominence, she turned into the stereotypical bitch.  She takes advantage of Karp's mental frailty to attempt to get the judgeship he wants (even going so far as to screw him over for it quite literally) and at the end of the season, Rachel's position is in limbo. 

Will she stay on given how she sabotaged the firm?  I don't see how she could given her acts and the way she seems to show her contempt for everyone at the firm.

Locklear doesn't do much on the show and has not proven much of an antagonist for Jared and Peter given how they actually won a bet against her that would allow them to come in later than everyone else.  One would think that as their boss she'd say, "No, you two aren't special.  You'll come in at the same time everyone else does and that's the end of it."  This, however, is how things would be handled in the real world.  In the Franklin & Bash world, the two leads can do what they want when are where they want because they're Franklin & Bash: Legal Geniuses (despite massive proof to the contrary). 

If there is anything good in the show, it's Diamond, who is constantly being humiliated and still comes across as the most human of the lot.   We're suppose to dislike Karp and love Franklin and Bash, but the end result is contrary.  I like Karp because of his flaws, like diligence, duty, and a sense of propriety in dealing with people.  He is snarky with Jared and Peter, but he's up front about his disdain for them (and they give him good reason to detest them).  Also, unlike any of the other characters, he actually has an arc.  He starts as the stiff Karp we first met in the Pilot but now, given his accidental killing of Judge Dinsdale, Damien has gone through some transformation.  Diamond makes it both believable and amusing without making him as big an idiot as Jared and Peter.

The resolutions to the cases are far too easy (an open mike catches one criminal for example).  There is no clear decision as to what Peter's relationship with Charlie (Nicky Whelan).  As the song goes, he's hot and he's cold, he's yes and he's no.

This is already bad enough, but we keep getting proof that Jared is in love with Peter.  He envisions a world where they are always together, doesn't seem too nonplussed when Charlie's daughter Tess asks if he is Peter's 'life-partner' (wherever in the world would she get that idea), and at one time calls out to Peter, "See you at the office, honey".  Granted, it might have been flippant but it still is highly troubling.

I just find that Franklin & Bash makes the two characters so unlikeable (in particular Breckin Meyer, who unlike Gosselaar never gets any comeuppance for being the 'bigger' jerk of the two).   The cases are dumb, the characters even more dumb and neither one really worth our time.  I do wonder if I will keep watching Franklin & Bash Season Four. 

I now no longer care about these characters, and I can find no case for them.

It's about time Elmo "Jared" Franklin and Peter Bash grow up...and that is not a Breckin Meyer short joke.

Next Episode: The Curse of Hor-Aha

Franklin & Bash: Gone In A Flash Review

FRANKLIN & BASH: GONE IN A FLASH

Burn, Pindar, Burn...

There are two odd things about Gone In A Flash, Franklin & Bash's season finale.  One, I actually enjoyed the episode.  Two, didn't we already establish that Pindar Singh (Kumail Nanjiani), the show's most annoying character, did indeed burn down the man-cave?  That being the case, why are we revisiting this idea that this is somehow shocking or new?  Furthermore, whatever is Rob Lowe doing in this?
We find that the insurance company suspects that Jared Franklin (Breckin Meyer) and Peter Bash (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) knew that Pindar set the fire that burned down the man-cave and that they set they knew it was intentional (and thus committing fraud to get the money).  It doesn't help that a.) the boys have been making a series of jokes about Pindar burning down the house and b.) a bit later on that one.  

Again, I keep wondering why is any of this a surprise?

Well, the insurance agent JD (Jay Chandrasekhar) now is going to get them but good.  It also helps that JD is a BIG Rob Lowe fan.  How convenient that Lowe lives next door (even if Pindar's harassment of him has caused him endless grief and trouble, forcing Lowe to sue Pindar for invasion of privacy...those drones).  While it's proven that Pindar did not photograph Lowe, the acquiring of Pindy's computer reveals b.) video of Pindar trying out the Flame of Zeus trick prior to or on the date of the fire, solidifying the case against him.

The Rob Lowe situation is grist for Stanton Infeld (Malcolm McDowell), who has had a running feud with his neighbor for years.  However, there are other situations.  Charlie (Nicky Whelan) who we find is friends with Mrs. Lowe (hence her appearance at Lowe's house), gets mixed messages from Peter: an attempt to showcase romance goes 'comically' wrong, and she appears both happy and sad to be going.  Damien Karp (Reed Diamond) still wants a judgeship, and he comes close to it.  The joy liberates him to a tryst with Rachel King (Heather Locklear), and while it seems that both of them are loosening up we find that Rachel is if nothing else, highly duplicitous. 

How do they get Pindar out of this situation? By showing (with video) that JD has been harassing them to get at Rob Lowe.  Lowe himself finally stops by the pad, and he and Infeld make peace.  Rachel's attempt at sabotaging Damien's interview (as well as secretly interviewing herself) blow up in her face, leaving her future uncertain.  Gone in a Flash ends with Jared Franklin performing his best magic trick...making summer disappear.

Despite itself, Gone in a Flash does what Franklin & Bash has not done in a long time: be fun and frothy without being idiotic.  It goes back to a time when the show didn't take itself seriously but didn't insult the viewer's intelligence.  The case is generally light (an arsonist case), there is only one case, and while the resolution is a bit easy (it's JD's fixation with Rob Lowe brings him down) it is a better resolution that what we've gotten in previous episodes. 

The other subplots don't work all that well.  What Charlie really is to Peter is never settled, and the efforts at comedy (he writes on the beach "Don't Go, Hate You Going" to get a 'montage' moment, but when Charlie's ex comes he, Jared, and I think Carmen and Pindar attempt to erase the message to where it reads, "Go, Hate You") fall flat.  It just seems so predictable to see this gesture go wildly wrong. 

One aspect that I did enjoy was seeing Karp not go overboard in his looseness like in Shoot to Thrill but slowly ease into a less stiff person.  Again, getting screwed (over) by Rachel appears to liberate him.  It does show Rachel to be downright evil, which is curious given that for all of Season Three she is the most rational of the lot (granted, she isn't all that rational at times, but given the competition).  I can't say this is completely out of character, but it leaves a curious thread for Season Four: will she still be there and if so, will her backstabbing actions be addressed?

The homosexual undertones in Franklin & Bash continue, but at least this time they are more comedic than suggestive.  When Jared and Peter attempt to draw information from Pindar they behave like parents with Jared as the mother and Peter as the father since he 'can't talk to him'.  While it does no favors for Nanjiani or Pindar Singh to make him this child-like and mentally immature, at least the partners appear to tacitly acknowledge the idea that perhaps their relationship is deeper than most bromances.  It doesn't mean it's sexual between Jared and Peter (at least from Peter's part, Jared is still questionable) but these two seem pathologically intertwined.

If anything, Gone in a Flash is fully aware of its own silliness and is a throwback to the fun and breezy Franklin & Bash episodes where the cases light and odd, the main characters loveable not dim-witted or cruel, and ends with a nod to its own sense of self.  How else to explain the witty end to both this episode and this season? 

Franklin & Bash is a summer series: fun, light, absurd, and until the summer returns, they will disappear.  Gone in a Flash is a welcome return to what made me love the show.  It's good to see someone finally lit a fire under these guys.

7/10

Season Three Overview

Franklin & Bash: Shoot To Thrill Review

FRANKLIN & BASH:

SHOOT TO THRILL

Mutiny On The Bounty Hunter...

I wonder, is there something in Breckin Meyer's contract that prohibits him from being made the butt of abuse and/or ridicule on Franklin & Bash?  I ask this because regardless of his short stature, it's his taller, better-looking partner Mark-Paul Gosselaar who is always put in humiliating circumstances.  Maybe Gosselaar wants it that way, I don't know.  Shoot to Thrill is a small step forward to lifting Franklin & Bash from the mediocrity it willingly is (and those weren't Breckin Meyer short jokes).  However, some of that lift comes, not from our dimwitted duo but by Reed Diamond's Damian Karp, who has some of the best moments in both Shoot to Thrill and Franklin & Bash in total. 

Jared Franklin & Peter Bash (Meyer and Gosselaar) find they must defend Harley Walls (Thomas Lennon) a bounty hunter who needs a major arrest.  He did so with Tony Ventress (Lucan Melkonian), who works for the guy that swindled Harley, a major white-collar criminal named Paul Fitzgerald, currently on the lamb.  Tony now charges that Harley assaulted him during his arrest, forcing Harley to temporarily surrender his license.  It's up to the boys to prove Harley's innocent and find Paul so that Harley can collect the bounty and clear his debts. 

Of course, because Jared and Peter are involved with the original bounty arrest, and because they are on probation themselves, Rachel won't sign their probationary forms.  Eventually this goes up to Stanton Infeld (Malcolm McDowell), who takes over their case over Rachel's loud objections.  When she complains that she should have some power given her name is on the door, he replies so is his...and it's higher. 



Yeah, we can't believe
this show's a hit either...

The case and infighting, however, is not the big shocker.  The BIG shocker comes in the form of Damian Karp (Reed Diamond).  After the murder charges were dropped against him, it looks like Damian has gone insane.  No longer the stuffed shirt we've all come to know and love, he seems to no longer care about anything.  He shows up in shorts and a T-shirt, says he longer is going to play by the rules and ends with a passionate kiss on Rachel King (Heather Locklear), the woman who supplanted him at Infeld Daniels King.

Karp's new attitude does not sit well with Franklin & Bash: how can they go on without an antagonist?  Who will play Hans Gruber to their John McClane?  When the formerly uptight Karp goes so far as to go to a meeting in his casual wear (and I think pooka shells) and tell the prospective clients that they should go to IDK because, "the bottom line rarely helps the people at the bottom," it becomes all too much for everyone. 
Karp can be many things.  A Democrat is not one of them.

Even worse, when Karp appears to be the ringleader of "Beach Wednesday", it overwhelms Franklin & Bash.  NO ONE can be cooler than them.

Well, the boys stumble into victory.  Being the immature beings that they are these two get excited about using the bean bag gun Harley used on Tony.  While actually fighting over who would get to use it in court, Jared accidentally fires it, hitting Peter in the eye.  At first, Peter looks all right, but wouldn't you know it, a day later he has injuries, similar to those of Tony. 

Karp, fortunately, returns to sanity.  A chance for a judgeship opens up and that snaps him to reality.  Infeld goes to Pindar (Kumail Nanjiani) with the subtle suggestion that 'change is coming' to the firm.  Could there be a place for him (and maybe, not for Rachel)?  Tune in next week, where we also can find what Charlie's (Nicky Whelan) relationship with Rob Lowe (the boys' next-door neighbor who has endured Pindar's drone camera) exactly is.

I used to care,
but Things Have Changed...

I remember thinking that I enjoyed Shoot to Thrill, but in retrospect I cannot recall why.  I think my primary enjoyment came from seeing Reed Diamond show his comedic abilities.  Karp has apparently had a complete meltdown, and to see him be so off-character into almost Franklin & Bash-like is hilarious.  Still, it's a credit to Diamond that he never goes overboard with making him be completely unbelievable.  Instead, he makes Damien someone who has pretty much given up, seeing his dreams, his goals, his aspirations (which are all commendable) constantly frustrated, in particular by these two himbos who are flippant about everything and who work to make him miserable.  Damien isn't attempting to BE Franklin or Bash, he's just tired of trying to be himself and receive nothing for it.

This is a man who has given up, who does his best and is constantly thwarted for no other reason than that 'the cool kids' dislike the 'nerd'.  Franklin & Bash is a celebration of the jocks and smartasses over the diligent students, showing that high school never really ends. 

Minus that I can't recall much about Shoot to Thrill in terms of interest or plot.  I detested how co-creator Bill Chais' screenplay continues to cause damage to other characters not named Jared Franklin.  It is Peter who gets it in the eye, just like it was Peter who was so out of it due to pain medication that he could barely function but his buddy forced him to go to court.  The more we watch, the more we dislike Jared Franklin. 

The relationship between Charlie and Peter is constantly up in the air.  Last week, it looked like Peter was finally over Charlie, now he can't seem to let go.  Make up your mind, you man-slut.

Then there is the subplot of Pindar's fixation with Harley and the bounty hunter business.  For someone who is terrified of everything, to see him suddenly want action and taking on bad guys is so bizarre and oddly, more out of character than Karp's hippie phase.  We also get the return of Assistant District Attorney Helen Swatello (Rhea Seehorn), perhaps to show that Jared Franklin is indeed as heterosexual as his life-partner Peter Bash.  However, as much hostile flirting as there is between them, hearing Jared shout, "See you at the office, honey," to Peter is indeed rather odd.

Well, Shoot to Thrill is neither all bad or all good.  It shows that there is something of an upswing to the show, which is so out-of-character for them...

I feel the same way too, Zack...

 
5/10

Next Episode: Gone In A Flash