Star Trek Beyond: A Review

STAR TREK BEYOND

Can something exceed expectations and still be mediocre? Star Trek Beyond manages some positives.  It's better than Star Trek Into Darkness.  Apart from that, there's nothing awful about Star Trek Beyond but nothing spectacular, nothing that makes one want to keep following more adventures of the U.S.S. Enterprise.

It's been three years into the Enterprise's five-year mission, and Captain James T. Kirk (Chris Pine) is finding all this travelling empty and meaningless.  The thirty-five year old captain is having a midlife crisis, so much so that after a bizarrely bungled peace mission, Kirk thinks of moving on.  Also facing personal issues is Mr. Spock (Zachary Quinto), who has learned of the death of Ambassador Spock.  This makes him wonder whether he too, should move on from Starfleet Command and go to his Vulcans on their new home.  This internal crisis causes a breakup between Spock and Lieutenant Uhura (Zoe Saldana).

Arriving on the massive space station Yorktown, the various Enterprise crew appear to be drifting a bit.  Fortunately for them, a distress call from within an unexplored nebula brings the Enterprise out from Yorktown station in a rescue attempt.  Kalara (Lydia Wilson) begs help for her crew deep inside the unexplored nebula, stranded on the planet Altamid.  As can be expected, the distress call is really a trap (where is Admiral Ackbar when you need him!) and the Enterprise is mercilessly attacked.  These bee-like destructive metal creatures tear at the ship, until after a long and brutal effort, Kirk orders the crew to abandon ship.  A strange creature searches the Enterprise for the peace offering we saw earlier, but finds it is incomplete.

The various Enterprise crew are now forced to separate in space, essentially tag-teaming on Altamid.  Uhura is with the newly-token-gay character Mr. Sulu (John Cho), who are captured by our villain, Krall (Idris Elba).  The cantankerous Enterprise doctor, Dr. "Bones" McCoy (Karl Urban), has taken flight with the ever-cerebral Mr. Spock (where the good doctor's medical training helps save a badly injured Vulcan).  Captain Kirk finds himself with navigator Pavel Chekov (Anton Yelchin), as well as Kalara.  Engineer Montgomery "Scottie" Scott (Simon Pegg) doesn't get any Enterprise crew with him.  Instead, he finds Jaylah (Sofia Boutella), an earlier crash victim who offers to help him if he helps her. 

Did I mention Simon Pegg co-wrote the script?

It turns out she has been holed up in the U.S.S. Franklin, an earlier Starfleet ship on Altamid, and the engineer is able to help her get her camouflage in more functioning order.  Soon Kirk and Chekov stumble upon the Franklin (after having disposed of the traitorous Kalada), and together they manage to get Spock and McCoy aboard with the ship's rudimentary transport system.

Now all they have to do is rescue Uhura and the now-token-gay Sulu and go back.  There's a slight hitch in those plans, however: the 'evil' Krall has coerced one of the Enterprise crewmembers to give him the missing peace of the Maguffin and with it, he will have his Doomsday Device.  His first order of business? To get out of Altamid and attack the Yorktown, and from there, the whole of the Federation.

If nothing else, Star Trek villains tend to think big.

With his crew now regrouped after a daring rescue, Kirk & Company must use the antiquated Franklin to go after Krall, whose secret history with the Federation is revealed.  It's a Fast and Furious race to get to Krall, who sends his robotic bees to tear at the Franklin the same way they tore into the Enterprise.  However, at last they have a strategy for this: what McCoy calls "classical music".

The Franklin has a curiosity: rap music, and the bees are destroyed by playing The Beastie Boys' Sabotage.  The mind boggles if the Franklin had carried into space, say instead of Public Enemy's Fight the Power, Loreena McKennitt's The Mystic's Dream. 

It's now a full-on attack on the Yorktown, and it is a fierce battle between Krall and Kirk that leads to the saving of the Yorktown and the end to the much-tormented Krall.  With this newest victory under his belt, Kirk rethinks his decision to be an Admiral, and Spock rethinks his decision to leave the Enterprise as well.

We see the crew of the Enterprise looking up, awaiting their newest adventure.

As I said, there is nothing really terrible about Beyond, but there isn't anything special about Beyond either.  It all seems rather perfunctory, as if people in front and behind the camera are all fulfilling contracts and going through the motions.

This is the first NuTrek film where I felt the cast was essentially doing parodies of the original Star Trek characters.  I was irritated at McCoy's perpetual irascibility in particular, as if what was actually interesting the first, even second-time round was now just so much 'well, most people think DeForest Kelley played it like this, so I've got to do it exactly like he was supposed to do it, right down to the 'Damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a...' bit that is part of any good (or bad) Dr. McCoy parody performance".  Beyond looked as if the mere fact that it was Star Trek was supposed to make everything exciting, but it constantly fell flat.

I put a great deal of the blame on Pegg and his co-writer, Doug Jung.  I understand Pegg is a super-fan and an all-around 'expert' on all things Star Trek, which leads me to think that Beyond is bad fanfic greenlit. There was no set-up for the Enterprise's mission, no real build-up to just about anything in Beyond.  Karala's betrayal?  Not only were we expecting this 'twist', we were wondering how they would suggest it.  They suggested it by putting it in by throwing it in when the story needed it to be in.  Since we didn't get to know Karala, why should her 'betrayal' be shocking?

Again and again, what should be exciting, what should be moving, what should be interesting, fails and fails again.  Pegg and Jung were interested in just moving things from one point to the next, with little to no interest in building up anything (tension, suspense, comedy, what have you).

Perhaps the worst part of this 'we should care but don't' comes through the newly-revealed idea that Mr. Sulu is gay.  For all the hue-and-cry about this hereto unknown aspect of Sulu's identity, the entire situation is played in such a shockingly nuanced manner that it is astonishing that Pegg congratulated himself on his 'progressivism'.  The first hint that Sulu is gay is the fact that he has a picture of a little Asian girl. 

The second, and we're supposed to believe, official 'outing' of Hikaru Sulu, is when said adorable little Asian girl is brought by a nondescript Asian man (co-writer Jung...what IS IT with the writers casting themselves in their film?  Don't give Doctor Who destroyer Steven Moffat any ideas...), and the three walk away together, with Sulu rubbing the nondescript Asian man's back with his thumb, which I guess in Star Trek is erotic foreplay.

Sorry, but the fact that one man rubbed another man's back with his thumb doth not equal gayness.  It's astonishing that despite the legalization of same-sex marriage and all the strides gays have made, this sorry 'blink-and-you-miss-it' bit was made out to be some sort of revolutionary act.  For all we know, that could be Sulu's brother or other relative.  There was no sense that there was any romance between said nondescript Asian man and Sulu.  There wasn't even any sense that adorable little Asian girl was in any way, shape or form connected to either man.

It's already bad enough that a particular plot point was introduced, but what makes it all the worse is that it is totally irrelevant to Beyond.  If Pegg/Jung had added a scene or dialogue where Sulu discusses his desire to see his partner and daughter, THEN maybe it would have added something.  As it stood, not only was there no point in having this element in the film, it didn't even bother to follow through.

As a side note, the original Sulu, George Takei, wasn't too thrilled that the NuTrek Sulu was made gay (even if it was a 'tribute' to Takei himself, who is gay).  I am amused by the fact that Pegg, who is straight, essentially lectured a gay man about what it's like to be gay in a fictional universe. 

Would that count as Peggsplaining?

In short, Pegg and Jung pretty much botched so much of Beyond it will be a wonder if Paramount lets them have another crack at it.

Not that director Justin Lin did any better. Everything was so rushed and chaotic it made things ironically enough less exciting.  There are many things I hate about modern filmmaking, and one of them is shaky-cam.  Beyond has it in abundance.  It's a sad thing to see a Star Trek film rush from one scene to another, making the characters so dull, the villain another of those "he's really a victim" motivations, and all that...in a horrid shaky-cam.

Everything in Beyond ultimately was perfunctory.  Michael Giacchino's score was appropriate, hitting the emotional cues when the film called for it (appropriately 'mournful' or 'exciting', but not interesting or memorable). 

I'm not sure whether Star Trek Beyond will, in the future, be looked on as the Star Trek reboot that showed it needed to be rebooted itself, but there is something of a crisis with the NuTrek.  It has to either shift into its own universe and loosen the bonds it has with the Original Series, or continue to play itself out as weak rehashes of what we've seen before with nothing either new or interesting to tell us.

I'm not sure whether I should be insulted or sad that Star Trek Beyond essentially ripped off a major plot point from of all things, Mars Attacks.

Star Trek Beyond is not terrible.  It's just not that very good. 

1989-2016
Das Vadanya, Anton

DECISION: C-

Next Star Trek Movie: TBA

He Has Been And Always Shall Be Our Friend

1931-2015

I was never a Trekker or Trekkie.  I have seen but a handful of Star Trek episodes, knowing of the mythos only through the movies.

I was on a retreat this past weekend, and it was only on Saturday when arriving home did I learn of the death of Leonard Nimoy.  I think that we should remember his work beyond Mr. Spock, though that role is beyond iconic.  I remember him from his hosting duties on In Search Of... and his role in A Woman Called Golda.

However, for better or worse Nimoy will always be Spock.  Perhaps he was displeased in being so linked to one character, perhaps he came to reconcile himself to that fate.  For myself, I think Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan is the Citizen Kane of Star Trek films.  It is the standard to which all other Star Trek films are measured. I understand Nimoy returned for the sequel on condition that Spock die.  Whatever the reasons, Nimoy's final scenes in Wrath of Khan (both his disabling of Dr. McCoy and his farewell to his very human Captain Kirk) remain some of the best work connected to the Star Trek franchise.  It is a loss to his fans, to Trekkers/Trekkies, and to those of us who admire and respect good solid acting.

Live Long And Prosper.

IN MEMORIAM

These Were the Voyages Part II

Last time, I covered the Six Worst Star Trek films.  This time, let us look at the positive.  Granted, of the Top Six Star Trek films I actually only thought well of the Top Three. In fact, I own only three Star Trek films (which are the Top Three of my Best Star Trek films). The other two are not all that good, but bearable.  Let us now begin.

Number 6: Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

 
The Voyage Home was the first Star Trek film I saw, and to be honest it didn't have me wanting to watch any more adventures of the U.S.S. Enterprise.  Part of it was the fact that the movie was The One With the Damn Whales, where a movie became an excuse for an environmental message.  It's a commendable message, but isn't it strange that in Voyage Home the whales don't exist in the 23rd Century, but Leningrad still does? What keeps it tolerable for me was that Star Trek finally allowed more humor and comedy to enter the picture.  It was a lighter Star Trek film, minus the 'save the whales, save the world' deal. Still, I respect the fact that it was trying for something other than a serious adventure and allowed itself a chance to have fun with things.  I probably would have liked it more if weren't for the 'save the whales' thing...and the fact that the events from Star Trek III: The Search for Spock played almost no part of the story, instead being shoehorned in for no great purpose.  However, I'm softening to the 'nuclear wessels'.

Number 5: Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

I can't blame Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country from trying, and it tried so hard to be relevant with its Klingon/Soviet-Federation/American parallels.  Again, Undiscovered Country has good ideas rolling around in it, and it has a potentially good performance from Christopher Plummer.  I just think it got bogged down in the middle with both 'the murder mystery' and when Iman has to free Kirk and McCoy (though having a few laughs at Kirk's expense is always good).  It comes so close to being good, but it lost its way a bit for me to give it a passing grade.  That, and I still refuse to believe Hamlet is a proper Klingon play.  I still hold that Macbeth is more in line with Klingon thinking.  So close, yet so far...

Number 4: Star Trek: First Contact

First Contact is the first Star Trek film on the countdown that I would qualify as 'good'.  It balances action with a hint of comedy.  It has a magnificent performance by Alice Krige as The Borg Queen.  Moreover, one didn't have to see The Next Generation's two-part The Best of Both Worlds to follow the plot (though it would have helped).  Granted, Data getting it on with Her Borgness was creepy, but it had action, good philosophy on the subject of revenge, and some humor.  Now, I confess that for the first third of the film I didn't know what was going on but once the film settled down I found it both enjoyable and intelligent.

Number 3: Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

The events in Search for Spock relate to the previous movie, which is an intelligent idea.  The action is balanced with a true emotional core involving Kirk and his son. The tension between the Klingons and the renegade Enterprise having to battle them and the Federation to save their friend Spock keeps one waiting to see how it will all turn out.  It did come close to being a bit reverential but on the whole I was both entertained and pleased that Search for Spock had good action, good acting, a good story and what Star Trek should have...hope. 

Number 2: Star Trek (2009)

I'm sticking with my original decision to make the reboot of Star Trek my second greatest Star Trek film.  The franchise needed a giant shot of adrenaline to bring it back to life.  Star Trek was the shot it needed.  The story was exciting, the performance on the whole excellent (playing tribute to the original while making it unique to itself) and the blending of past and present worked...mostly.  It took some time to get things started, and the middle section where New Kirk and Old Spock meet was a bit forced, but I consider these things minor flaws.  On the whole I loved Star Trek, which makes me think so much less of Into Darkness.

And now, the Greatest Star Trek Film of All Time Is...

Number 1: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

As if you didn't know.

Wrath of Khan is an excellent film.  It has action, it has romance, it has comedy.  One doesn't need to have knowledge of Star Trek to know what is going on.  Ricardo Montalban's performance as Khan (or as NuTrek fans know him, the guy who played Benedict Cumberbatch's role before Benny was born...spoilers) is intense and enthralling.  The emotion within Wrath of Khan, with great performances by the cast en masse, is thrilling and ultimately heartbreaking.  No matter what happens in future Star Trek films, they will all be measured against Wrath of Khan, which is why I always call it the Citizen Kane of Star Trek films.      

Well, I hope that the next Star Trek film is truly original, not an imitation, and an imitation of the Greatest Star Trek film ever made. Personally, I don't think many Star Trek films are all that good.  However, at heart I'm an optimist and hope that future adventures of the U.S.S. Enterprise do right by both the franchise and the fans.



Live Long and Prosper...

            

These Were the Voyages Part I

Well, we've come to the end of our Star Trek retrospective.  I still, after all the films, cannot call myself a Trekker (which from what I understand, is a middle-class version of a Trekkie).  Once school lets up a bit I hope to travel to the Original Series.  At the moment, I've seen only three O.S. Star Trek episodes: Spock's Brain (the Citizen Kane of Star Trek episodes), City on the Edge of Forever (quite a good story), and Space Seed (the genesis of Khan...the original, not the impostor, but more on that later). 

However, I have learned a few things about Star Trek.  At its heart, the series is more than just adventures in space.  They are about the constant search for hope in the future, to improve man's fate among the stars.  Star Trek seeks out new life, new civilizations, but they are never for conquest.  At the most, it is for trade, but generally the Federation of Planets wishes nothing more than to live in peace with other civilizations.  Any hostility or conflict emerges from alien species (or rogue Federation agents) who do not want peace, but instead want conquest or annihilation of others.  Sometimes it comes from fear and misunderstanding of The Other.  On the whole, however, the U.S.S. Enterprise never goes out to conquer, only explore, make contact, and secure alliances.  I can appreciate that, along with the sense of adventure.  Once school ends or lets up, I hope to watch Original Series episodes, but for now I have finished watching all the Star Trek movies and am ready to make my two individual lists.       

Now, at long last, we have Our Ranking of All the Star Trek films.  Let us start with the Six Worst Star Trek Films.  The very Worst Star Trek Film of All Time Is...

Number 12: Star Trek: The Motion Picture
(1979)

Scrapping the bottom of the barrel is the first adventure of the U.S.S. Enterprise.  Star Trek: The Motion Picture is really a misnomer, because it really doesn't move.  The film treats everything as IMPORTANT, with a very hushed reverence that makes the film slow and ponderous.  Worse, for a film that is the beginning we are never formally introduced to the crew.  Instead, it's assumed we know who these people are.  If it weren't for the fact that the Enterprise crew has entered the general culture I wouldn't know either the cast or their relationships with each other.   The film itself is very slow and boring, but its subtle arrogance in the idea that we know everything about Star Trek itself pushes Star Trek: The Motion Picture down.  It's boring, it's just boring.

Number 11: Star Trek Generations

I know many people loved Star Trek Generations, but having seen it twice I still leave unimpressed.  What is suppose to be this epic meeting of the two Enterprise captains takes up a remarkably small amount of the film's almost two-hour running time.  Truth be told, Captain Kirk's appearance in the film is almost unimportant.  Any generic Next Generation cast member could have filled in for him.  The way they were brought together via the Nexus was silly, and worse, Generations does something I detest in time-travel films: basically going back in time to where they failed and trying again.  I just felt it was a totally wasted opportunity, which in my mind is what condemns Generations. 

Number 10: Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

  
Oh, yes, the stories are all true.  The Final Frontier is just shockingly bad.  This quest to find "God" is so embarrassingly laughable, and William Shatner's direction is an exercise in vanity and ego.  The story is nonsensical and when we meet "God", we see it has been a total waste of our time.  Therefore, since The Final Frontier may be one of the worst films ever made, let alone one of the worst Star Trek films, how come it failed to be The Worst?  Well, it has three saving graces.  One, Laurence Luckinbill's performance as Spock's half-brother Sybok is a strong performance that does wonders with an unbearably lousy script.  Two, it didn't waste the meeting of Original and Next Generation characters which genuinely angered me (see Number 11) and in fairness to Final Frontier, it did move and have some sense of action (versus Number 12). 

Number 9: Star Trek Nemesis

 
What a waste all around.  You waste a potentially good villain in pre-Dark Knight Rises' Tom Hardy's turn as Shizon.  You waste viewer's time by having Data 2.0 (one of the biggest cheats in a hoped-for sequel).  You have bizarre moments (such as poor Marina Sirtis' mental rape by Shizon), and you throw in Will Wheaton's quick cameo at the Troi-Riker wedding (so quick I didn't know he was in the film until the credits), and seeing Data belting out a little Irving Berlin is just dumb.  Throwing in Captain Janeway from Voyager throws in more nonsense that adds nothing to the film.  Nemesis had good ideas rattling around it, but with no follow through and with the entire Data subplot it is no surprise there were no more Next Generation films, or that it all but killed the franchise until the next millennium.

Number 8: Star Trek Insurrection

It looked like Insurrection was a test run for the debacle that was Nemesis.  It isn't that Insurrection DIDN'T start out well: the idea of the generally sweet Data running amok is a fascinating idea.  HOWEVER, once we got Data and Patrick Stewart's Captain Picard doing a little Gilbert & Sullivan you pretty much watched Insurrection go down the drain.  Again, it has a boring story.  Not terrible per se, just boring.  Evil people want to move idiotically docile beings from their resort to open up a Fountain of Youth-type resort of their own.  The Ba'ku people (and I SWEAR they stole that name from the capital of Azerbaijan) are so dull in their long lives one wonders why they didn't go postal or stir crazy, and again the whole 'Data will learn to be human by playing with little boys' thing started getting on my nerves.  There is something to be said about a movie where you not only predict what will happen but actually wouldn't mind if the 'cute kid' met a rather gruesome end.

And now, the Best of the Worst Star Trek Films is...

Number 7: Star Trek Into Darkness

I know many people love Into Darkness and think it among the greatest Star Trek films ever made (or perhaps among the greatest films of all time). I also know that Trekkers voted it the Worst Star Trek Film (and even questioned whether it WAS an actual Star Trek film), but I think it has to do more with the fact that Into Darkness is a remake of Wrath of Khan in all but name.  Let's not pretend that Into Darkness is 'original'.  When I was watching Into Darkness (at a midnight screening no less) when we had Benedict Cumberbatch's 'big reveal', I just took my notebook and starting beating my head with it.  I also said, "No, no, no".  I like watching original films, and while I don't object to remakes, I do object strongly to remakes being passed off as original.  Copying whole scenes and plot points from superior films is an insult to the audience.  In terms of acting and visuals, it certainly is above a lot of other Star Trek films (see all those above) but Into Darkness was a cheat and a fraud plain and simple.  Finally, I'm tiring of Benny...just waiting for the inevitable backlash.           

I write this as someone who has never converted to a Trekker/Trekkie.  I shall stay a Whovian, thank you very much.  However, this isn't to say I can't appreciate the positive qualities Star Trek has.  With the exception of the Top Two Worst Star Trek films (and a very shaky Third), there were things in these films that I did or could enjoy, but on the whole I have no desire to watch any of these Star Trek films again.

Next time, the Six Best Star Trek films. 

Star Trek Into Darkness: A Review

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS

*Author's Note: In response to the grief I've been given by posting the 'spoiler' of Star Trek Into Darkness on my private Facebook account I have opted to inform the reader that this review will give as many spoilers as possible.  If one does not want to read them, skip down to the last paragraph and the conclusion.  You have been warned.  Thank you.

The Biggest Khan Job Ever...

I don't know if Star Trek Into Darkness is one of the most anticipated films of the year.  However, for this film I did something I have not done in a long time: attend a midnight screening.  The last time I did that was for 300 (and that was only because I was all but kidnapped into it).  Two hours of screaming, heaving men...and I still struggled to stay awake.   I was surprised by several things in Star Trek Into Darkness.  I did not see people dressed up like Starfleet crew or Vulcans.  The house was not sold out (there were several seats available, and I suspect the 3-D showing next door was the bigger hit).  I did not hear applause at the end of the film.

This is the short review version of the film: Star Trek Into Darkness is in all but name a remake of The Wrath of Khan with a bit of The Search of Spock thrown in for good measure.

Here is the long version.

Enterprise Captain James Kirk (Chris Pine) is on the planet Nibiru, one full of primitive people.  Ostensibly there to survey the planet instead they quickly decide it needs to be saved from a volcano about to destroy it.  However, a problem: the Enterprise (and crew) cannot be seen lest the Prime Directive (non-interference with the evolution of a species) be violated.  Well, as Spock (Zachary Quinto) goes into the volcano,  a series of events force the Enterprise to reveal itself by rising from the sea.   Even though Spock is saved, the Vulcan is still miffed that the Prime Directive has been violated.  As a result of Spock's report (which goes into greater detail than Kirk's), Kirk is demoted by Admiral Pike (Bruce Greenwood).

Well, let us move onto other matters.  There's a little girl dying in a London hospital, and a strange figure approaches the father, one Thomas Harewood (Noel Clarke).  This mysterious figure promises he can save her with a little bit of his blood.  All he has to do is a small favor...blow up the Starfleet Archives.

Having thus launched a terrorist attack on London (not that such things ever happen in the British capital...perish the thought) an emergency meeting is convened.  Here, we learn the name of this terrorist: John Harrison (Benedict Cumberbatch), a rogue Starfleet officer.  No sooner has Kirk put two and two together than Harrison unleashes an attack on the meeting, killing Pike.  With his mentor gone Kirk is giving permission by Admiral Marcus (Peter Weller) to go to Kronos, the planet of the Klingons, to capture Harrison who has been traced there.  Of course, this must be done delicately, given that this pre-emptive strike (emphasis mine) could lead to war.

Well, in Kronos despite the region Harrison is in being uninhabited the Klingons find the small crew of Kirk, Spock, and Uhura (Zoe Saldana).  Uhura cannot convince the Klingons to help them capture Harrison but in jumps Harrison himself, wipes the Klingons, and surrenders.

It's never a good sign when the villain surrenders and allows himself to be captured.  It's also never a good sign when the villain is behind a glass cell where the heroes can be taunted by them.  It just never is a good sign.  We've seen it in The Avengers.  We've seen it in Skyfall. 

Don't these heroes ever learn?

In any case, Harrison taunts Kirk and reveals the whole nefarious scheme.  He is a genetically enhanced super-being over 300 years old being used by Admiral Marcus as part of a secret weapons program to build weapons to destroy the inevitable war with the Klingons.  Marcus has kept 72 of his people frozen, thawing only Harrison out to use his genius for the weapons, in particular a massive Federation Starship that will defeat them all.

And his name is NOT John Harrison.

HIS NAME IS KHAN!

Now Kirk uses Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott (Simon Pegg), who had left the Enterprise when weapons he could not look into were brought aboard despite his strong objection, to find what exactly is located at the coordinates KHAN had given him.  Here Scotty finds a shocking sight: a new Starship ready to go to war.  It is the U.S.S. Vengeance, ready to attack the Enterprise to force them to hand KHAN over. 

Once we learn who KHAN is, Acting Captain Spock (Kirk and KHAN going to attempt to stop Marcus aboard the Vengeance) does what any rational Vulcan would do...he calls his doppelganger (Leonard Nimoy) to find out if on THEIR parallel/alternate universe, they had ever encountered and/or defeated a KHAN.  Even though Spock Prime tells Spock Alternate that he would never tell, he does so anyway.

Allow me to stop for a moment and ask, isn't that cheating?

I am KHAN!!

Well, anyway KHAN and Kirk get on board the Vengeance, where while Marcus is defeated KHAN still holds the upper hand.  Hand over his cryogenically frozen men, or Kirk dies.  While Spock relinquishes, KHAN still won't surrender his mad dreams of frankly I don't know what.  However, a little bait and switch: while the torpedoes that held KHAN's people were sent, they remained on the Enterprise.  The torpedoes were activated, fatally crippling the Vengeance. 

In any case the Enterprise has been fatally damaged as well, plummeting towards Earth.  Only one thing can stop it: repair the warp core, even if it means enduring massive radiation.

If by this point you think the one who makes the greatest sacrifice is Spock, you've been watching the wrong movie.  In Into Darkness, it is KIRK who goes in.  It is KIRK who is behind the glass, radiation overwhelming him.  It is SPOCK who stands unable to save his friend.  It is SPOCK who sheds tears. 

And it is Spock who screams out, "KHAAAAANNNN!"

Kirk is dead, but WAIT!  Dr. McCoy (Karl Urban) notices that the Tribble he has, which he injected with KHAN's blood, is now alive.  Would that not work with our beloved Captain? Well then, only one thing for it: they have to get KHAN alive.  Fortunately, even though the Vengeance crashed into San Francisco (glad we can now reference September 11th without anyone really raising any objections of seeing ships crash into buildings and whole populations), KHAN escapes without a scratch.  Spock now goes after him and with a little help from his girlfriend manages to stop KHAN, get the blood, bring Kirk back to life, and freeze KHAN again, with everyone aboard the Enterprise ready to begin their five-year mission (except for crabby Dr. McCoy).

Unlike Trekkers/Trekkies, I am not upset or angered by the appearance of KHAN in Into Darkness.  I'm not bothered by including his character in this movie.  I am HIGHLY upset and angered that I am asked to watch a virtual remake and have people tell me I am watching something original.

That more than anything else damns Into Darkness for me: the idea that director J.J. Abrams and screenwriters Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, and Damon Lindelof (who brought us Star Trek, a film I feel I need to reevaluate after this debacle) could basically rip off another film in the Star Trek canon and no one either notice or care.  It is just bad enough that they all but stole all of Wrath of Khan, but that they have similar scenes, plot points, and even imagery from Wrath of Khan. 

No sensible person could possible have thought that seeing a character yell out "Khan!" after his friend dies from an overdose of radiation would not have them think of Wrath of Khan.  Into Darkness might work for those who pretend that everything before the reboot did not exist (a bit like Doctor Who fans who think the show started with 2005's Rose and that nothing starting from 1963's An Unearthly Child to 1989's Survival or 1996's Doctor Who: The Movie relates to the show they watch now...even while they proclaim the 50th Anniversary of a show whose first forty years they neither know nor care about).  However, for those who know of that iconic line reading, or who know of Spock's great sacrifice in keeping with Vulcan thinking that "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one",  Into Darkness is nothing more than a shameless rip-off.

There is no other term for it: Star Trek Into Darkness is a shameless rip-off of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.  Star Trek Into Darkness even manages to steal a bit from Star Trek III: The Search For Spock.  In that feature, the whole story revolves around the efforts to bring a believed-dead Spock back to life.  In Into Darkness, it happens in the last ten minutes, in a clumsy way (I know there is Power in the Blood, but this is ridiculous), and in a way that robs us of the emotional impact that Spock's 'death'  had on the viewer in Wrath of Khan. 

In short, you just can't basically copy another film in the same franchise and expect to get away with it with the excuse of 'it's an alternate universe'.  If it is an alternate universe, then why does Spock Alternate (Quinto) call on Spock Prime (Nimoy) to basically give him a crib sheet as to A.) who Khan is and B.) whether he was defeated?  Wouldn't it be obvious if Spock Prime is still around that the answer to B. is in the affirmative?  I found that both despicable (rather than have YOU, Spock Alternate, find things out, I, Spock Prime, will just tell you about it) and illogical.  Why would Spock call on Spock to give him information?

As a side note, we get a little rip-off of all things of The Poseidon Adventure.  The only thing missing was Shelley Winters, but I digress. 

There are other things I disliked about Into Darkness (though the shameless rip-off of Wrath of Khan was probably the biggest thing).  The Klingons were either an afterthought or a way to bring them in for the inevitable sequel because they were irrelevant to Into Darkness (any alien group could have been there).  Moreover, while their new design doesn't particularly bother me I am not crazy about it either.

Another bad aspect is in trying to make us sympathetic to Khan.  He cries when monologuing about how he's been used by Marcus, but again, it's hard to gain sympathy from someone we barely know.  At least with Ricardo Montalban's Khan we at had a reason for his pathological hatred of Kirk.  With Cumberbatch, despite his best efforts I didn't care about him or his people.

Moving on with the performances, Cumberbatch was directed to emphasize his luxurious baritone to full 'villain' effect.  Whenever he spoke, he used his voice to signal, 'I'm a villain, a super-villain, a mad genius'.  However, I always have an antipathy whenever an actor deliberately uses his voice to signal that he is evil.  Cumberbatch's Khan, despite the script's desperate efforts, never came across as particularly dastardly or dangerous or menacing.  He was imposing in his stillness, but whenever called on for an actual threat Khan and Cumberbatch were almost a secondary plot device given that the real villain was Marcus and his George W. Bush-like rush to war at all costs. 

However, what makes Into Darkness at least bearable is most of the Enterprise crew.  Of particular note is the interplay between Pine's Kirk and Quinto's Spock.  Both work very well together to where they compliment each other's character: the arrogance and ego of Kirk tempered by Spock's logic, and Spock's somewhat cold nature guided to a sense that logic is not the answer to everything by Kirk's instincts.  Their scenes together are one of the few bright spots in Into Darkness (no pun intended).

Even though he is criminally underused Karl Urban still has the best moments as the cantankerous McCoy, even tipping his hat for original McCoy DeForrest Kelley's infamous, "Damn it, I'm a doctor, not a...".  Here, it is to Spock that he speaks, "Damn it, man.  I'm a doctor not a torpedo detonator."  Quinto is also strong as Spock, even though I would argue he's less Vulcan and more (horrors) human in his interpretation. 

As a side note, despite the determined efforts to have a Spock/Uhura romance (one of the few things I felt failed in Star Trek), the 'comedic banter' between a bickering Uhura and Spock as they come to the Klingon planet of Kronos struck me as both idiotic (it really is the worst time to start a fight) and unrealistic, even almost sexist (note the woman is the one who started it).  My view of Saldana's Uhura is becoming more tempered, even if she had little to do.

At least in the female department it was better than Alice Eve's Carol Marcus, the Admiral's betrayed daughter.  What she was we call 'eye candy' and a set up for Kirk's son should they opt to remake Search for Spock and The Undiscovered Country as they've remade Wrath of Khan. 

It was an unfortunate decision to sideline Urban for Simon Pegg, whose Scotty came off as a manic comic relief with illogical plot points to boot.  I kept wondering how no one on the Vengeance failed to notice this annoying Scotsman running around the ship causing havoc.  Furthermore, there really was little point of having Scott leave the Enterprise since they could have worked the situation in another way (though the flight of Kirk and Khan across space between the Enterprise and the Vengeance was a beautiful-looking highlight of the film).

This 'get Scott out to make him a more important character' not only forced us away from Urban's McCoy but also generally sidelined both John Cho's Sulu (sorry all these years I thought your character's name was Zulu) and Anton Yelchin's Chekov (who was pushed into Engineering and was made to look almost inept if not downright stupid, a kid who didn't know the first thing about how to get the Enterprise moving). 

As I watched Star Trek Into Darkness or as it should be titled, Wrath of Khan: The Remake I could not help think that I had been had, hoodwinked, bamboozled, led astray (thank you, Brother Minister).  There is simply no reason, no excuse, nothing that can be said to justify attempting a reboot while at the same time dragging the past in front of us (and dragging the legacy of what has come before through the mud, as if Wrath of Khan had never happened).  If anything Star Trek Into Darkness is NOT the highly-touted reboot of the Star Trek franchise we were promised.  Instead, Star Trek Into Darkness is a horrid pillaging of what has come before and a case that those behind this reboot either simply have no ideas or have decided that they can copy and paste and no one will notice or care because it's in an alternate universe. 

Star Trek Into Darkness does have good things in it (Quinto and Urban are the best performances in the film, some of the action sequences are well-made), but frankly it is too evocative of other, better films to be a Star Trek film I would want to watch over and over for pleasure.  This is not the best Star Trek film, not by a long shot.  I question whether it is even a Star Trek film, except in name, and if anything, Star Trek Into Darkness teaches us the importance of names.

Looks familiar...

DECISION: D+

CONCLUSIONS ON STAR TREK: SIX WORST

Next Star Trek film: Star Trek Beyond

WAIT!  What about me?
I was in picture too.
I even wrote play...

Star Trek: Nemesis. A Review

STAR TREK: NEMESIS

Hardy Not Worth the Time...

Star Trek Nemesis was the final Star Trek film featuring the Next Generation crew, and with good reason.  Nemesis is bad, and despite everyone's best efforts, it can't rise above some of the weakest material the Enterprise has come across.

The Romulan Empire has a coup (which I understand is a common occurrence on the planet).  However, there is a twist: the new leader is a Reman, a native of Romulus' twin planet of Remus (no wonder there is a vague Romanesque style to the machinations of the Empire).  Admiral Janeway (Kate Mulgrew from the Star Trek: Voyager television series in a cameo) now asks Enterprise's Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) to go to Romulus and see if their new overtures of peace are true.  Of course, this will delay the honeymoon of newlyweds Commander Riker (Jonathan Frakes) and Counselor Troi (Marina Sirtis).  Things are complicated enough as it is with a discovery on Kolarus III: an android that is almost a double for Data (Brent Spiner), whom we discover was an earlier version called B-4 (how punny).

On Romulus, we find the shadowy leader, a Reman named Shinzon (Tom Hardy...yes, THAT Tom Hardy).  He gives Riker, Troi, Data, Worf (Michael Dorn), and Picard a shock: he is eerily similar to Picard in almost every way.  Shinzon makes it clear that they are connected, and we get the whole story: he is Picard's clone, created by the Romulans as part of a nefarious scheme to infiltrate the Federation by attempting to replace Picard with his doppelganger.  That plan, however, was abandoned when there was an earlier coup, and Shinzon was left to wither away on Remus.  If not for the courage and nobility of a Reman guard, he would have perished.  Instead, this Reman became Shinzon's protector and for his loyalty he is now Shinzon's Viceroy (Ron Perlman).   In the ensuing years, Shinzon has managed to build a master ship, the Scimitar, from which he will launch his vengeance against both Romulan and Federation.

There is one major problem: the Scimitar has as its energy source thalaron radiation, which can kill quickly if released.  As Picard attempts to bring Shinzon to the Light Side of the Force...er, make him see the error of his ways, Shinzon will not hear of it.  In fact, he is determined to capture Picard, as he needs his genes to live since as part of his cloning process he was programmed to age quickly.  Therefore, he is running out of time.

As it so happens, so is Data.  Having transferred all his memories and 'emotions' to his brother B-4, he sees that B-4 is a danger.  He was placed there as bait and now has put everyone unwittingly in danger.  As Shinzon begins his attack, Romulan and Federation join forces against a common enemy.  However, Shinzon, now either desperate, uncaring, or insane (we're not sure), decides to make it a suicide mission.  Picard and later Data go to the Scimitar to stop the thalaron radiation explosion Shinzon plans, with one making the ultimate sacrifice.

Or perhaps not....

Perhaps this open-ended finale to Nemesis is what really irritated me on two fronts.  First, one of my Golden Rules of Filmmaking is: Never End Your Movie By Suggesting There Will Be A Sequel.  In a strictly technical sense, Nemesis didn't end by saying 'there will be more Next Generation films, but it left the door open, and in a particularly vile way.  I say vile because the subplot in John Logan's screenplay (based on a story by Logan, Rick Berman, and Brent Spiner...Data himself) appears to have been there for one reason: to rob the audience of the poignancy of the 'loss' we've witnessed.   If you are going to give a major character a noble end, don't cheat by having a literally ready-made replacement waiting in the wings. 

Somehow, despite all their efforts, the 'twist' involving said character is almost telegraphed so brazenly anyone who thinks about where the story is headed is already five steps ahead, right down to how it will all come out.  More than anything, this 'non-death' is what I found most appalling about Nemesis...we are being asked to mourn the loss of a major and perhaps beloved character only to basically be told, 'No, we've got another version right here, so basically he never really died'.

SPOILER ALERT!  IF YOU DON'T WANT IT SKIP THE NEXT PARAGRAPH. 

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!

As a digression, let us compare the loss of Spock in The Wrath of Khan with the loss of Data in Nemesis.  In the former, it looked pretty definite, and we got to see this iconic character make a great sacrifice (and a chance for Leonard Nimoy to have a great death scene).  In Nemesis, we don't see him really die, and given that B-4 is there, implanted with all his memories, it is as if he really didn't die.  It is a cheat.  You could say that The Search for Spock is a cheat in that the character is basically revived, but the film made a case as to how it happened (the newly created planet of Genesis brought EVERYTHING to life), but in Nemesis, it's basically an upload that brings about a new Data.  In short, where Spock's death was poignant, Data's death is empty of emotion.   

END OF SPOILER!

You have my permission to die, Batman...
I mean, Picard...

There are other things in Nemesis that push the film down.  The film had moments of intended comedy that fell flat (Data SINGS!, but who would have thought Worf wouldn't like the android's rendition of Irving Berlin's Blue Skies...or that Klingons would even know who Irving Berlin was), and there was a lot left unexplained.  Exactly WHEN did the Romulans take Picard to make a clone?  Did this come before or after Picard was taken by the Borg on the television series (and did this cloning take place DURING the series...so was I supposed to have watched Next Generation to follow the plot)?  Poor Picard...always getting used by aliens.  You'd have thought by now other beings would have picked another Enterprise crew member (the super-slut Riker is a good candidate I would imagine).

Also, what exactly IS Janeway doing here?  I'm no expert on Star Trek timelines, but wasn't Voyager stranded 75 years from her original time?  Furthermore, while it is nice to see her pop in, I imagine something like this would appeal to Trekker/Trekkies only, and those of us with limited or no knowledge of the Star Trek mythos, we'd say, "Who's THAT?"

As much as Nemesis wanted to portray Shinzon as either Picard's double (and hammering this theme of duality excessively with both Picard/Shinzon and Data/B-4) our villain came off looking a bit like a camp and whiny kid.  I think Hardy looks imposing as Shinzon and did his best, but part of me felt he knew this was all a bit silly.  One thing that James Cagney, a master of the amoral gangster, always believed was that when playing a villain, one should realize that to a villain, he doesn't see himself as 'the bad guy'.  The great screen villains (a Hannibal Lecter, Norman Bates, Veda Pierce in Mildred Pierce, The Manchurian Candidate's Mrs. Iselin, or Cagney's Cody Jarrett in White Heat) never think of themselves as villains.  They see themselves as almost heroic, or at least above morality.  With Shinzon, you always believed he saw himself as evil, not wounded.  Ostensibly he was motivated by his mistreatment by the Romulans, but he seemed more concerned with having "Daddy" Picard love him than anything else.

I know you want me...

As a side note, the erotic fixation Shinzon had on Counselor Troi was introduced (and given a bizarre moment when he enters her mind via Inzadi...not ask me to explain let alone understand what Inzadi actually is) but never followed through.  If Shinzon really wanted to make Troi his Reman Queen, he didn't seem to bother even trying to capture her.  Of course, this would reduce her to mere eye candy/plot device, which is more than can be said for Dr. Crusher's Gates McFadden.  Same can be said for LeVar Burton's Geordi LaForge...what exactly was the point of having him (apart from contractual obligations)?  I could even say that both Frakes' Riker and Dorn's Worf was similarly irrelevant.  Sad to see so many Next Generation characters appear so fleetingly and/or unnecessarily while Stewart and Spiner hog as much screentime as possible.

There were other things that bothered me.  Jerry Goldsmith, usually a reliable composer, appeared to have ripped off/paid homage to Stravinsky's Rite of Spring when Picard and Data escape the Scimitar.  Speaking of which, this escape was filmed in such a way that I felt I was watching a video game.  Data's literal plunge into space had me laughing more than marveling, another moment of humor (though I have to imagine it was unintended).   Jeffrey Kimball's cinematography went overboard at times (on the desert planet of Kolarus III, the sepia tones were bordering on parody, if not actually crossing said border).

Did YOU come up with this?

Oh, Nemesis...you spoiled your chance to give the Next Generation a respectable send-off.  It isn't to say Nemesis was all terrible: it is nice to see Tom Hardy when he was young and thin, not the gigantic block of muscle he has morphed into.  He certainly looks imposing in black, and he is a good actor (when directed well, which Stuart Baird did not do).  However, he was almost silly as a villain (and I never shook the sense that Hardy thought the same).  Given that Spiner came up with part of the story, I similarly never shook the sense this was his effort to make Data almost the co-star of Nemesis (logic be damned).  I'll give him credit: it takes chutzpah to have your substitute waiting in the wings to give you a character both new and old.

However, Star Trek Nemesis all but doomed any future hopes for another Next Generation-based film.  In fact, its spectacular failure doomed the franchise for almost a decade, and it was such a bad film that rather than attempt to bring back the Next Generation or any other Star Trek series (Voyager, Deep Space Nine, or Enterprise...would have loved to have heard Russell Watson treat us with Going Where My Heart Will Take Me one more time), it took an entire reboot where we had to basically start from scratch to bring the Enterprise out to the stars once more...

No Blue Skies for The Next Generation, alas.      

   

DECISION: D-   

Next Star Trek film: Star Trek (2009)

Star Trek: Insurrection. A Review (Review #524)

STAR TREK: INSURRECTION

Sub Prime Directive...

Star Trek Insurrection is not a terrible film.  It just isn't an interesting one.  It isn't even an accurate one: there was no Insurrection in Star Trek Insurrection.  What Insurrection was a series of ideas in search of a story, where the destination didn't end up being anywhere as interesting as the possibilities it might have had if they had decided to pursue them.  In short, while Insurrection was not hideous, it was on the whole a bad experience.

We first see Ba'ku, a bucolic world where the Ba'ku people are living in peace and beauty, but then something shocking happens: androids which up to now had been invisible go on a rampage.  We find that in that rampage is Data (Brent Spiner), and he appears to be the machine gone mad, going so far as to unmask himself before a horrified populace and turning to attack the Federation delegation sent to study this world incognito.

Has Data gone mad...or rogue?  Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart), away on a diplomatic mission, requests Starfleet to allow him to find Data and bring him in.  Captain Picard and Worf (Michael Dorn) do manage to bring Data in (with a little help from, of all things, Gilbert & Sullivan's H.M.S. Pinafore) and discover Data has merely malfunctioned.   Still, Data's mere appearance has upset the delicate balance of the Ba'ku, since they have rejected technology and seeing an android was highly traumatizing.

Still that is nothing compared to the machinations going on around the Enterprise.  Federation Admiral Dougherty (Anthony Zerbe) and his newest allies/Federation members, the Son'a, headed by Ru'afu (F. Murray Abraham) seem very interested in Ba'ku.  No surprise: the Enterprise crew discover the planet is a regenerative one, where the 600 inhabitants are centuries old and are in great health.  It's a perfect planet for the decrepit Son'a (who constantly need plastic surgery to maintain even the thinnest of health) and Dougherty sees a way to benefit himself.  However, it requires them to force the Ba'ku out and interfere with the evolution of a planet...a violation of the Federation's Prime Directive.  As Dougherty and his minions all but order the Enterprise to not interfere in their own interference, they mount an 'insurrection', consisting of helping the Ba'ku flee to the mountains while they attempt to get more Federation forces to their side...I think.

We discover that Picard's romance with Ba'ku woman Anij (Donna Murphy) meets a sad end, that the regenerative powers of Ba'ku are affecting the Enterprise crew (more on that later) and that the Son'a and Ba'ku are connected in a surprising way. 



That hat, not with
that uniform...

Insurrection I don't think is a terrible film.  What it is a remarkably boring film with no sense of danger or menace from anyone.  As much as Michael Piller's screenplay (with a story by Piller and Rick Berman) wants us to think, 'this is a violation of the Prime Directive, the Enterprise has to go against the Federation to keep true to its goals', what we end up getting is basically a very boring people in a one-sided dispute with an equally boring people. 

It just had nothing for us to get excited over.  The Ba'ku (whom I keep imagining are really lost Azerbaijanis) confuse a lack of technology with a lack of personality.  They are all so bland and placid that one almost WANTS them to be thrown off merely because it would give them something to do.  It also makes them incredibly dim: I did wonder why it never occurred to them that perhaps given the restorative powers on Ba'ku no one would ever want to take advantage of it.  Granted, I know they live in isolation but then again given they themselves were refugees and given that they had a breakaway group who might want to come back (hint, hint), why the Ba'ku never thought things out is a great mystery.

Oddly, Insurrection actually started out well when Data ran amok.  It might even had led us to some wonderful roads: the android who wishes to be more human either being manipulated or willing himself to give in to the darker aspects of human nature (greed, lust for power).  However, once Insurrection decided to introduce comedy into the proceedings, there really was no way for Insurrection to survive.  We'd already had some bad laughs when Picard is forced to wear some headpiece as part of a Federation reception, but when Picard and Data do a duet from an operetta it was all beginning to fall apart. 

There are two reasons for it.  First, when Picard asks Worf if he knows Gilbert & Sullivan, the Klingon's response of "No sir, I have not had time to meet all the new crew members since I've been back," is not funny.  I'd argue it is a perfectly logical response to the Captain's query (to borrow from the Vulcans).  Second, after seeing Data go psycho and shoot all who come across him, the sight of Picard and Data belting out A British Tar is borderline idiotic.  Piller, Berman, and director/co-star Jonathan Frakes must have known that once we had a rousing musical number we'd lose the tension and suspense of whether Data was now evil or merely malfunctioning.

In fact, I would argue that Insurrection is a bit top-heavy with comedy, from a little light opera to Data attempting to figure out the concept of 'playtime' to Frakes' Riker and Marina Sirtis' Troi indulging in a little hot bubble bath sexy-time.  While seeing Geordi (LeVar Burton) regain his eyesight is a plus, seeing poor Worf being made to look foolish by experiencing Klingon acne is just embarrassing.  However, it's not as bad as seeing Troi or Dr. Beverly Crusher (Gates McFadden) discuss how their boobs are firmer on Ba'ku (or seeing Data attempt the same conversation with Worf).  The nadir of course is the brief moment of Picard doing a little mambo.  It's become a brief but notorious moment, and to be honest I did not make the connection between their actions and the rejuvenating powers of Ba'ku.

In regards to the actual heroes and villains, neither are interesting.  Abraham did what he could to make Ru'afo a menacing threat, but he came across as just a nasty landlord who is cross than murderous.  When we get the 'twist' involving the Son'a, I'd argue it wimps them out, as if they were less a major threat to the peaceful Ba'ku and more like whiny kids.

Of course, this is not to say I was rooting for the Ba'ku, a greater collection of wimps and dimwits I've encountered in these voyages of the Enterprise.  Their pacifism is confused with passivity, as they appear adamant in not doing anything to help themselves.  It is hard to be sympathetic to people who speak softly, behave as though everything is rather bland, and do nothing for themselves.  Brings to mind what Orson Welles' Harry Lime said about the Swiss in The Third Man...they are basically cuckoo.  How else to explain why the child Artim (Michael Welch) would actually run back for his SLUG when they are fleeing from a collapsing cave (as if we all didn't know he'd go back to his slug).  I though of the Ba'ku as basically cooler Amish: no technology, no fighting, but more boring.  Particularly bad was Sojef (Daniel Hugh Kelly) the Ba'ku leader/Artim's father.  He was so soft-spoken one almost was hoping the Son'a (who at times looked like Brazil rejects when having their faces stretched out) would win, if only to give A.) either side something to do, and B.) to knock these obnoxious twits out of the galaxy.

We're so boring...

There were other things that didn't work in Insurrection.  The menace (oh, the Ba'ku are going to get thrown out...big deal: they don't seem to be too concerned with their fate) didn't work.  The 'romance' between Picard and Ba'ku Anij (Donna Murphy) didn't work.  When Data informs Picard and Anij when exploring the hologram world they would have been taken up to if the Federation/Son'a scheme had worked, "I work as a flotation device," I truly didn't know whether it was MEANT to be funny or idiotic.  Even the special-effects looked a little on the cheap side: I don't think I was suppose to notice it was all computer-generated, was I?

Having seen Insurrection its major flaw is that it is boring.  We don't really end up caring one way or another who wins control of the planet.  There is nothing in Insurrection that one can rally around.  The villains were boring.  The heroes were boring.  The story was boring.  The plot was boring (especially after what would have been a fascinating story where Data of all creatures could have turned out to be the villain).

While Star Trek Insurrection attempted to answer what were to happen if the Enterprise ever came across the dilemma of whether to obey orders or the Prime Directive, what it ended up doing was violating an older and more vital Directive...do not be boring.

Guess which one of us 
looks stupider?

     

DECISION: D+

Next Star Trek Film: Star Trek Nemesis

Star Trek: First Contact. A Review

STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT

The Borg Identity...

Now, I should state for the record that as much as The Borg are admired, I always thought of them as knock-off of the Cybermen from Doctor Who.  There, my conscience is clean. 

Star Trek First Contact is the first Star Trek film to feature the Next Generation cast without tying it in to the Original Series, in short, their own independent feature.  While I felt that it had a rushed, almost chaotic opening, once it settled down and focused on the main story, First Contact had more pluses than minuses to make it a better Star Trek film than most.

The Enterprise has been advised that the Borg, a group of aliens who conquer by forcing assimilation, are on the warpath.  Enterprise Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart), who was once captured and almost assimilated into the Borg with the new name of Locutus of Borg, has been warned to stay out of the oncoming war.  This does not sit well with either Captain Picard or the rest of the Enterprise crew, but obey they do...until the Borg Cube comes perilously close to winning the battle.  Disobeying orders, the Enterprise enters the fray, bringing victory.  However, an orb within the Cube escapes, with the Enterprise in fierce pursuit.

We find that the Cube has travelled into the past, taking the Enterprise with it to the mid-Twenty-First Century, April 4th, 2063 in fact.  A quick scan makes a shocking discovery: the Borg have altered history by assimilating all humanity, with only the Enterprise to stand in its way of total domination.  Now, one might ask, why April 4th, 2063?  Answer is simple: on April 5th, 2063, humanity will have First Contact: it is the day that humans make 'first contact' with aliens, and from that the beginning of time/space travel, the United Federation of Planets, the whole shebang.

In other words, its when Star Trek has its genesis, if you will. 

From here, First Contact becomes two stories: one has the Borg slowly taking control of the Enterprise, attempting to use it ti bring down the spacecraft that will attract the attention of alien surveyors and thus, prevent First Contact.  The other has some of the Enterprise crew attempting to make sure First Contact is made, not easy given that the legendary figure who brought about warp speed, one Zephram Cochrane (James Cromwell) is a dissolute drunk rather horrified at the idea that he could be the father of space travel and that he will be made into a virtual godfigure. 

On that front, we have Number One, Commander Riker (director Jonathan Frakes), Engineer Jordi LaForge (LeVar Burton), and Enterprise Councelor Troi (Marina Sirtis).  On the Enterprise, we have Captain Picard, former Security Chief who at the events of First Contact was Captain of his own ship Defiant, Commander Worf (Michael Dorn), and android Data (Brent Spiner) who has been programmed to become more human.

The bulk of First Contact deals with the Borg storyline.  Here, the Enterprise is being taken over by the Borg, led by their evil Borg Queen (Alice Krige).  In turns seductive and sinister, she attempts to seduce Data into joining her Borg...and getting her hands on the codes Data has that will help her bring down Cochrane's ship and prevent First Contact, thus ensuring Borg conquest.  It is up to Captain Picard, aided by Lilly (Alfre Woodard), Cochrane's assistant/main squeeze, to stop this.  Of course, the difficulty is that Captain Picard, obsessed with destroying the Borg, is running the risk of letting his thirst for revenge cloud his judgment.

In the end, Lilly shows Picard he must turn away to avoid the fate of Moby-Dick's Captain Ahab, and thus with a couple of twists the Borg Queen and her minions are defeated, and First Contact is assured.

My big beef First Contact is that for I'd say the first third of the film I had only one question, "What the hell is going on?"  As a non-Trekkie, I had no real idea about Picard's history with the Borg (apart from the quick opening which threw at us Picard's past with them).  Furthermore, Frakes and screenwriters Brannon Barga and Ronald D. Moore (from a story by Barga, Moore, and Rick Berman) were rushing through a lot of information and situations at warp speed (thought I'd throw that part in).   The appearance of the Borg, the battle with them, Worf now heading up his own ship, the quick victory, the flight of the Borg into the past, what First Contact itself was...for someone who isn't well-versed in Trek lore a lot of this might be maddening.  I figure the Next Generation/Star Trek fans would have all this background info, but for the neophyte it is all done so quickly one can barely make sense of it all.

At one point an incredulous Cochrane asks Riker, "A group of cybernetic creatures from the future have travelled back through time to enslave the human race, and you're here to stop them?"  Here, at least finally we get the whole story (though I was never sure EXACTLY how the Borg managed that neat trick of going to the past, figuring if they could have they would have long before the events in First Contact, or am I being too picky).

However, once the film settles down First Contact becomes a tense siege story with Picard and Company fighting the keep the Borg from taking over the whole ship.  The scenes where Picard, Data, and the crew attempt to fight off the Borg almost deck by deck is filled with beautiful-looking imagery and tense action.  First Contact is if nothing else visually arresting.

A great plus is Krige as the Borg Queen.  She is both evil and oddly beautiful, and Krige plays the part intelligently, knowing that a raving mad-creature would be able to entice anyone.  Instead, the Borg Queen is calm, rational, using the power of persuasion rather than brute force to win Data and/or Picard to her side.  Krige makes for one of the best Star Trek villains.

There are also great performances by the guest stars.  Cromwell shows almost a comic aspect to Cochrane, someone whom I would describe as a working-class hero, one less interested in a place in history than a place in bank books.  Woodard is also excellent as Lilly, one who is able to both show a mix of fear and courage when confronting new surroundings and alien enemies.  Her scene with Stewart as she confronts his blindness and rage at bringing down the Borg is brilliant.

Equally excellent are both Stewart and Spiner.  The former brings the epic intensity of a man on a mad quest (the Moby-Dick allusion is accurate), and the latter has great moments of a being tempted by the one thing he wants: humanity.  The final twists to Data's storyline are both brilliant and shocking, making the climax of First Contact worth the time.

The secondary story of Cochrane's flight seems oddly anti-climatic, not to mention a trife dull.  While Cromwell was great the other characters from the Enterprise save for the hero-worshipping LaForge (who without his distinctive visors is a jarring sight) seemed to get lost in the story.  Certainly both Counselor Troi and Dr. Beverly Crusher (Gates McFadden) weren't a large part of the story, which is a shame that the women were mostly regulated to the sidelines.

For some reason the actual First Contact in First Contact was almost secondary, even virtually inconsequential to First Contact itself (those who actually encounter Cochrane and his group are both not a surprise and a welcome presence).  All the sequences within the besieged Enterprise are filled with tension, action, excitement, and great thought, and for that, First Contact is a strong debut for the Next Generation-centered Star Trek films.   For myself, First Contact was rushed in the beginning to being almost chaotic, but once we calmed down the story settles into a good, solid, exciting film with a great villain.  While I would argue that First Contact is geared more for the Star Trek devotee than those who don't know a Prime Directive from a Prime Meridian, First Contact is on the whole a good beginning to a Next Generation. 

DECISION: B-

Next Star Trek film: Star Trek Insurrection