With Love, Meghan Episode Three: Two Kids from LA

 

WITH LOVE, MEGHAN: TWO KIDS 

FROM LA

Original Airdate: March 4, 2025

Special Guest: Roy Choi

Mentions of Joy: 1

Passive-Aggressive Moment: 0

Gushing Praise for Markle: "I was blown away that I was even asked to do the show, that you even knew who the hell I was. Because I'm a huge fan of you".

"And cue The Archies". 

Edible flower sprinkles make their return appearance in Two Kids from LA, our third With Love, Meghan episode. The big surprise in Two Kids from LA is that it is actually not bad. I will not go so far as to say that it is good. Given the absolute horrors that we were treated to in the last two episodes, Two Kids from LA is better because it takes the focus away from Meghan, Duchess of Sussex and onto the actual food. We still have some, for lack of a better word, woke moments. However, if one looks at Two Kids from LA, you see just how good something can be when an actual professional versus an overenthusiastic amateur is allowed to take charge.

"It's the little things that bring me a lot of pleasure", Meghan Sussex tells her crew to start Two Kids from LA. She is again all a-flutter because celebrity chef Roy Choi is coming. Knowing of his love for donuts, Markle makes some, complete with edible flower sprinkles. Once Choi shows up, we get the Choi of Cooking as he instructs the Duchess on various Korean cuisine. The highlight is the preparation for spicy Korean fried chicken.

This will be great for her because Meghan's husband, whoever he is, also loves fried chicken. The two new BFFs talk about their similar backgrounds as Los Angelinos. Meghan uses Roy's Guide to Briming Chicken and Roy's Guide to Parboiling Chicken. There is a visit to the garden, which I presume is that of the rented home where With Love, Meghan is filmed but could be her actual Montecito home garden. With the chicken looking admittedly good, Meghan and Roy can delight in their work while fantasizing about opening a fried chicken joint that will serve fried chicken and crudités. 

What elevates Two Kids from LA above the previous episodes is curiously enough by diminishing what Meghan, Duchess of Sussex thinks would be With Love, Meghan's greatest asset: Meghan Markle. Here, Markle is not there to instruct her guest on what to do. Instead, she is the student. A very peppy, excessively eager to please student, but nonetheless a student.

To be fair, Two Kids from LA cannot resist giving Markle at least one moment where she comes across as wiser and more knowledgeable than a chef of renown. Late in the surprisingly short episode, we have this exchange.

"Do you ever put, um, cold sparkling water in your eggs before you scramble them?" Meghan asks Choi.

As a side note, I wonder if she ever said that to Harry.

"No", Choi replies. "Same sort of effect. Helps them rise, makes butter a little fluffy", Markle informs him. "Really? I'm gonna do that", Choi responds. 

Granted, Choi is far less worshipful of Markle than someone like Mindy Kaling. He is an old hand at cooking and cooking shows. He not only has had a series of successful food trucks but hosted The Chef Show on Netflix a few years ago. As such, Choi is the first person on With Love, Meghan to mostly treat Markle as someone to instruct, not take instruction from. 

Two Kids from LA as such does a better job presenting the food because Choi is an expert, not a prop. We even get a surprising amount of interaction between Markle and Choi and the production crew. At one point, they invite the crew to sample some of their wares. It is not an earth-shattering moment. It is, however, a tacit acknowledgement that there are people outside the two on-camera people. 

I do not know if Markle would be pleased that Two Kids from LA succeeds because for once, she is in the background. Perhaps if Markle had taken that tactic of learning from her guests rather than instructing them, With Love, Meghan might have been a better product. We could have even seen the side of Markle that Markle so desperately wants to present to the world.

It is unfortunate that the Duchess opted to make herself the star, as if the world was eagerly waiting for her. We were not. You can see that Markle is really trying hard to come across as friendly and welcoming. The end result, over and over again, is that she instead comes across as creepy and off-putting. Even what would normally sound as innocuous and/or endearing statements end up sounding threatening.

"We're not friends yet. We're going to be. He might not know it yet, but it's true". Somehow, in some way, her delivery of this statement sounds like something out of a stalker movie. 

While Choi was not as worshipful to Markle as past and future With Love, Meghan guests have been or will be, there were moments that were a bit thick in the praise and worship department. "You're always picking up what I'm putting down. I love that about you", Choi once comments. Earlier, as they discuss their own pasts as Los Angeles natives, he remarks, "You and I are so similar. We should have met a long time ago".

I do not know if Choi has ever been seen as a manipulative gold-digging diva the way that Markle has, but I digress.

One thing that Markle and Choi do share in common is a strong perception that racism is all around them. At one point, Markle expresses puzzlement over why there was a brief period in time when people asked for "no MSG" when ordering Asian cuisine. Choi lays down the truth.

"Yeah. Do you want to know the real reason without sanitizing? It was racist. It was racist against Asians, you know? It was a thing about Chinese restaurants. It's not any different than, again, bouillon powder. Like it exists in all of the fast food that America was raised on. What we have now is we have this more democratic food culture where information can be accessed. And um, you don't see any young people saying MSG gets you sick anymore, right?" 

Markle replies that it is good that we left such ideas behind.

I will say that I have absolutely no idea what either MSG or bouillon powder are. My only point of reference with regards MSG is a joke on The Golden Girls. That joke, I might add, was to mock Sophia Petrillo's ignorance and eagerness to curry favor with the Asian American doctor treating her daughter Dorothy Zbornak. I had no idea that requesting "no MSG" was the new Yellow Peril. Then again, my only real connection to Chinese food is a very, very rare Panda Express meal. 

Looking at the food, some of it looked delicious, some not. The concept of pickled strawberries sounds most unappealing to me. Some of Choi's quips were amusing. He tells Markle that he does very little cooking at home. After spending all day cooking for others, he doesn't find the prospect of more cooking appealing. "It's like kissing yourself all day long," he says when it comes to cooking your own food.

I am fighting the temptation to say that Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, is aware of the concept of kissing yourself all day long.

Two Kids from LA is on the higher end of With Love, Meghan episodes because Meghan is not the dominant force. She manages to do what she has struggled with when working with others: defer to them. It is not perfect. One does wonder if whether anyone will actually make any of these dishes. Roy Choi, however, was a good guest, less reverential to Mrs. Sussex than others. To be fair, he still had a touch of obsequiousness to him. Given that this obsequiousness is a pinch versus a shovelful, it is a minor miracle that should be appreciated. 

At least one of the Two Kids from LA is mostly alright. 

4/10

The Long Walk: A Review (Review #2043)

THE LONG WALK

Mark Twain once observed that golf is a good walk spoiled. I don't know what our literary wit would have thought if he knew that another writer created a walk that went on, nonstop, for 331 miles. The Long Walk gives us a dystopian world that did make the viewers care about the characters' plight. While not without some issues, The Long Walk mostly works.

There has been a terrible civil war in the United States that has led to a military government. In order to inspire the general public to new patriotism, the government televises an annual competition where one young man from each of the 50 states will walk until there is only one. They are chosen at random, but the government has no shortage of applicants for this Trail of Death. 

As a side note, I suppose that no one cares about Washington, D.C. or the various territories like Puerto Rico or Guam since there are no representatives from those places in the long walk. Moreover, there are no girls or transgender men in this competition. Just a thought.

This competition is in Maine, and representing the Pine Tree State is Raymond Garrity or #47 (Cooper Hoffman). His mother Ginny (Judy Greer) begs him to pull out before they begin, but Ray reluctantly won't. He soon makes acquaintances of other boys undergoing this public ordeal. There is the arrogant and cruel Barkovitch (Christopher Plummer). There is the youthful looking Olson (Ben Wang). There is Native American Parker (Joshua Odjick). Of all of the other boys, Ray bonds mostly with Pete McVries (David Jonsson). 

Bonding is a curious turn of phrase given that all of the boys know that the others cannot survive if they are to win. Why would they willingly put themselves through all this? The winner gets a life of fortune, and one wish granted that cannot be denied. With the economy in ruins and no prospects, the young men are willing to endure misery and even death at a chance to lift themselves up.

The rules are simple, explained by the Major (Mark Hamill). They must keep a pace of minimum 3 miles per hour. They will be given food and water along the march, but they cannot stop. If they fail to maintain those rules, they will be given three warnings before they are executed. 

As they march, day and night, with no chance to rest or relieve themselves (them stopping to defecate will be cause for the military to bark out warnings), the various boys do start bonding. It makes it harder for them to see the others either die, get killed or commit suicide. Nevertheless, Ray persisted. Why does he persist so? The Long Walk reveals a connection between the Major and the Garrity family, particularly Ray's beloved father William (Josh Hamilton). Will Ray avenge William? Who will ultimately win The Long Walk?

While the Stephen King novel that The Long Walk is based on was published in 1979, I think many would look upon The Long Walk as a bit derivative of things like The Hunger Games or even King's own The Running Man. It is interesting that both The Long Walk and The Running Man both involve televised competitions where a totalitarian government will kill contestants if they fail. 

Credit should be given where it is due. The Long Walk oddly never feels that long, running at about an hour and fifty minutes. Francis Lawrence's direction never lags or at least lags for long. We get a few breaks from this death march with flashbacks involving Ray and his parents. Lawrence and screenwriter JT Mollner also kept things moving forward quite well. The audience that I saw The Long Walk with were at times deeply moved. Such was a moment when the nerdish Harkness (Jordan Gonzalez) is finally shot. I heard people audibly cry and express horror at the sight of it all. 

Harkness had been walking with a broken ankle for miles, and the wear and tear (physical and emotional) was finally too much. The Long Walk showed him talking to Ray and Pete, telling them that he was writing his experiences down for a memoir that he planned to write once he won the competition. That was a clever move in telling us this before his gruesome end.

There were some ends that were gruesome. Other ends were not seen. With fifty contestants, it would be impossible to know all the contestants. I figure this is why the sequence where they march up a hill had so many of them dropping dead. It is a credit to Lawrence and Mollner that even Ray looked like he was about to bite the dust here. 

The performances were almost all universally good. I would not go as far as saying that Cooper Hoffman has fully emerged from the shadow of his father, the late Philip Seymour Hoffman. However, with solid turns in his earlier films Licorice Pizza and Saturday Night, the younger Hoffman is building up a strong resume. The Long Walk is probably his first major leading role, and he does excellent work as Ray. He makes him humble, kind and caring. However, Hoffman also brings in the pain and rage within him, pushing him onwards despite his senses. There is a brief moment when he reencounters his mother during the long walk. Risking his life to hold her and beg forgiveness from her, it is a deeply moving moment. 

As a side note, I wonder if his scenes where he talks about his late father were reflective of how Cooper Hoffman lost his own father at a very young age. 

The younger cast did universally excellent work. Jonsson's equally caring Pete was a standout here. Wang brought a touch of comic relief as Olson, the man who wanted nothing more than "a good meal, a good screw and a good s--t". Who knew he could be a philosopher? I was not quite as convinced by Plummer's arrogant and cruel Barkovitch. Late in the film, he wants to be part of the smaller group. Yet as played by Plummer, I took it to be some part of Barkovitch's scheme to win. 

The singularly worst performance and what kept The Long Walk from ranking higher was Mark Hamill. Making his second appearance in a Stephen King adaptation after The Life of Chuck, Hamill devours the scenery with abandon as the crazed Major. I understand that he was supposed to be the villain. I understand that his gravelling voice was meant to evoke that villain. I just thought that it was unintentionally comedic. I could not take him seriously, and every time that he popped up, I thought The Long Walk was a bit of a joke.

One element that also pushed The Long Walk down slightly was what I thought was the implausibility of a lot of the plot. There are a few mentions of how this death march is played on television. We even get a brief moment of a solitary girl going all fangirl on Ray. However, I saw nothing in the walkers that would elicit such a response. Were audiences also listening in on their conversations? I think that The Long Walk mostly forgot about this element.

I also think that, despite the psychological torture the participants were put through, most people genuinely would not watch unless they were either sadists or forced to. Also, given the need for sleep and relieving oneself, I think hitting 331 miles is implausible. Again, I get that it is fiction. However, I could not fully accept that some of the participants at this long walk as well as those from the past would not have literally keeled over due to lack of sleep or sheer exhaustion. 

I do have to recognize that the audience that I saw The Long Walk with did feel for the guys. I am taking audience reaction into consideration. I also saw some good performances and a pretty engaging story. The Long Walk is good, not great, but worth looking into.

DECISION: C+

With Love, Meghan Episode Two: Welcome to the Party

WITH LOVE, MEGHAN: WELCOME TO THE PARTY

Original Airdate: March 4, 2025

Special Guest: Mindy Kaling

Mentions of "Joy": 1

Passive-Aggressive Moment: 1

Gushing Praise for Markle: "When I received that in the mail, a box of your preserves, it was probably one of the most glamourous moments in my life".

When I was a child, I was fortunate enough to have had a birthday party at McDonald's. Yes, I am that old. Being of Mexican descent, I had birthday parties that featured pinatas too. In all those halcyon days of childhood, I do not think that I would have ever conceived of having or attending a child's birthday party where I was given a gift bag consisting of gardening tools to take home and use. However, I never had a party, birthday or otherwise, organized by Meghan, Duchess of Sussex. Welcome to the Party, the second of eighteen episodes of her lifestyle show With Love, Meghan, is...well, a sight. Despite being a mother to two children, Welcome to Party made me question whether Mrs. Sussex (per her decree) is even remotely acquainted with children. 

Meghan is all a-flutter because, in her own words, her email pen pal Mindy Kaling is coming over to her rented home/studio. As both are new mothers, Meghan thinks that this is the perfect opportunity to show her gal pal how to create the perfect children's party. While they won't actually have children at the party set-up that they will make, Meghan will show Mindy how to make delicious kid-friendly sandwiches, a balloon arch, kids' party gift bags and a fruit rainbow, all keeping with a specific party theme. The select theme is a garden party. As such, the gift bags will consist of gardening tools and seeds. 

Mindy, now having arrived, loves how Meghan has prepared some frittata for her. Having first connected when Mindy appeared on Meghan's podcast Archetypes in September 2022, Mindy loves everything Meghan says and does. I counted at least four declarative "I love it" whenever Meghan said or did something, though I am sure that I missed more than a few more uses of that term. Mindy pretty much considers herself blessed to be in Mrs. Sussex's presence. "Your fashion is, like, one of my favorite things", Kaling says, making viewers fear that she will break out into song. 

Kaling continues to wax rhapsodic to Markle about Markle. She was thrilled to have received a box of Meghan's preserves. She was thrilled at the drinks that Meghan had prepared. All her party ideas were brilliant. All that praising, however, was for nought.

It is during their making of kids sandwiches that we get one of the most cringeworthy and perhaps infamous moments in the series. It may be called With Love, Meghan, but the Duchess shows little love when her guest remarks on the hostess' surname. While attempting to carry a conversation with Markle, Kaling asks what kind of fast food she liked. Meghan rattles off some, ending with Jack in the Box.

"I don't think anyone in the world knows that Meghan Markle has eaten Jack in the Box and loves it", Kaling declares, apparently astounded that a Californian woman would have ever chowed down this particularly fast food. Sounding sheepish but coming across as defensive, Meghan is having none of it.

"It's so funny you keep saying Meghan Markle. You know I'm Sussex now," the Duchess starts. Turning to an apparently startled Kaling, Mrs. Sussex continues, "You have kids, and you go, "No, I share my name with my children". Kaling, coming across as slightly befuddled if not terrified, nods and says, "Yes". Mrs. Sussex concludes, "And that feels so...I... I didn't know how meaningful it would be to me, but it just means so much to go, "This is our family name, our little family name (emphasis hers)".  Kaling, looking as though someone just pulled a gun on her, replies, "Well, now I know, and I love it".

I imagine that there are hostage videos that are more comfortable to watch than this exchange between friends. Yet, I digress.

With the semantics of surnames now done with, Meghan goes back to show us how to make balloon arches and kids' gift bags. She helpfully informs the viewers that there are machines that will blow up balloons for you. That is less exhausting than blowing up balloons yourself one by one. Kids will love to play with the gardening tools and seeds in their parting gift bags. Children and adults will enjoy the fruit rainbow tray they can both make and eat together. They can even decorate edible ladybugs, which we learn are called "ladybirds" in the United Kingdom thanks to Meghan's unnamed and unseen husband. With that out of the way, the two girls can enjoy the fruits of their labor, a delightful children's tea party without any children in sight.

Welcome to the Party is the first time the viewer is treated to one of Meghan Sussex's favorite things: flower sprinkles. Edible flower sprinkles, which Mindy Kaling naturally loves, will I understand become a major part of With Love, Meghan. Joy, however, is not a major part of Welcome to the Party, as there was only one mention of it. I am not sure that I can even count it, for Mrs. Sussex says "joyful" rather than "joy". Unlike Mrs. Sussex, however, I don't feel the need to get lost in terminology. 

This episode may be titled Welcome to the Party, but Mrs. Sussex did not come across as welcoming. The entire "it's SUSSEX, not MARKLE" segment is the nadir of the episode. Having seen Welcome to the Party twice now, Markle's reaction does not come across as chatty or friendly or even corrective. It comes across as angry, defensive, a barely contained rage at still being referred to as "Meghan Markle". 

It should be remembered that as executive producer, Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, approved of keeping that "you know I'm Sussex now" beatdown in Welcome to the Party. That could have been edited out and spared both Markle and Kaling public embarrassment. However, Markle decided that people should see how brittle she can be when not properly addressed. I'm just flabbergasted that Markle opted to keep that section in With Love, Meghan. Was her soft tirade correcting if not belittling her own guest about what she thinks is her surname also said with love, Meghan? 

It feels a fool's errand to try and sort out the issue of surnames. Prince Harry is from the House of Windsor, but Harry, I believe, would be "Henry Mountbatten-Windsor" and not "Harry Sussex". His and Meghan's son Archie is listed as "Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor" on his birth certificate. As such, Meghan is closer to being Meghan Mountbatten-Windsor than being Meghan Sussex. The now-Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet (who are styled Prince and Princess being the grandchildren of the current monarch who are descended from the male line) would be "Prince Archie of Sussex" (emphasis mine) but their surnames, I think, would still be Mountbatten-Windsor.

It all seems rather tedious to downright silly to get lost in the weeds of what Meghan's actual literal last name is (I think it would be Mountbatten-Windsor). What seems sillier is how almost aggressive she is about something rather innocuous. Kaling clearly meant no harm with her "Meghan Markle" statement. On the contrary. Kaling was so sycophantic towards Markle, eh, Sussex, that it was almost embarrassing to watch. Kaling seems to be there mostly to admire Markle and her craftsmanship. The way Kaling reacted to everything Markle did, you would have thought that Kaling had never even heard of balloons and fruit, let alone that people arrange them in bright, colorful manners.

When Markle introduces Kaling to edible flower sprinkles, Kaling looks as if she has been given her first piece of chocolate cake in her entire life. "What, are you Tinker Bell?" she tells Markle when the Duchess starts spreading about her beloved flower sprinkles. I would not begrudge anyone who came upon this scene and assumed that both were drunk. 

Not that Markle came across as being a particularly good teacher or party planner during Welcome to the Party. During the How to Make a Balloon Arch segment, she remarks that it was hard for her to smile after blowing up balloons for Archie Sussex's birthday party. She then tells those watching that one can purchase these things called "balloon pumps" at a relatively low price which will fill up balloons for you. That she mentions that she blew air for Archie's balloon arch and that there are machines that will blow air for balloon for you frankly makes her come across as stupid. 

At my Mom's Celebration of Life party to commemorate what would have been her 80th birthday, I had a coworker whose family runs a side business of party decorating. She, humble woman from a humble background, had an air pump to create a beautiful balloon arch long before Meghan, Duchess of Sussex enlightened the world with her party planning expertise. Air pumps are not some new invention or esoteric creation. However, to Meghan Markle-Sussex, it was a whole new discovery. It makes for totally bizarre viewing. Did she really believe that no one knew about air pumps until she, Meghan Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, stumbled upon this and told the world such things existed?

It makes her look shockingly out of touch. The Making Kids' Party Gift Bags segment makes her look similarly out of touch, with the added element of making her look downright psychotic. I currently do not have any children. Based on the children whom I do know, none of them would want a gift bag consisting of gardening tools and seeds. Even if the gardening tools are made for children, that does not strike me as appealing to a toddler or elementary school-age child. I think even adults would be aghast at being given a party gift that had trowels, spades and seeds. Markle, I believe, stated that her children like to garden. That is good. I do, however, struggle with the idea that their playmates have that same green thumb. 

As a side note, seeing the photo of Archie's birthday party makes it look oh so sad. The sight of the sixth in line to the British throne, the grandson of the current monarch, at such a cheap-looking birthday party is a bit puzzling to me. That aforementioned McDonald's birthday party that I had looked more lavish in comparison.

As with Hello, Honey! from last time, Markle struggles to create that intimate atmosphere that any television host/hostess needs. She talks to the film crew. She addresses Kaling (I cannot go as far as saying that Markle actually talked to her). She just cannot engage the actual viewer. Again, I think her longtime training as an actress hinders her. Actors do not look into the camera unless they are deliberately breaking the fourth wall, almost always in a winking, humorous manner. Markle never looks the camera, and by extension the viewers, in the eye. She simultaneously wants to make us part of her endeavors and keep us apart. 

Whenever she tries to appear more relaxed, the end result is the opposite. She comes across as almost neurotic, unaware of how to behave. Put aside how I do not believe her claims that she makes breakfast for her family every morning. While making her last-minute frittata, she starts cooking some bacon. "My bacon brings all the boys to the yard", she sings uncomfortably, echoing Kelis' 2003 hit song Milkshake. That is already cringe-inducing. Shortly afterwards, she says "It's time for a parfait par-tay", seemingly pleased with her witticisms. 

One ends up feeling almost sadness at the sight and sound of it all. 

Former Vice President Kamala Harris made "joy" part of her Presidential campaign. Just as Harris could not get joy to help her win the election, Meghan Markle can't seem to find joy in making frittatas and edible flower sprinkles. While making those fun-shaped sandwiches, I believe, Meghan Markle-Sussex tells Mindy Kaling, "I can't guarantee that it will be perfect, but it will be joyful". Mindy Kaling does not appear to be finding any of this joyful. The viewer is not finding any of this joyful. I sense that even Meghan, Duchess of Sussex does not find Welcome to the Party joyful. 

Her statement ends up sounding more like a threat. 

1/10