The Worst of 2025 So Far

2025 has been an interesting year for film. If I understand correctly, this year we have had not one, not two, but three of this generation's Citizen Kane. There were, if my fellow critics are to be believed, three unimpeachable masterpieces that will alter the course of cinematic if not human history.

Curiously though, only one of those films made my Ten Best List. One did, however, make my Ten Worst List. Go figure.

As I look back on 2025, I think of how film reviewing has gone a bit off the deep end. You had YouTube film reviewer Chris Stuckmann create his own film, Shelby Oaks. I saw it as part of a secret early screening. I opted not to review Shelby Oaks, keeping to his idea that one cannot give negative reviews no matter how bad a film is because filmmaking is hard or something. Apparently, reviewers have to consider a filmmaker's "good intentions" when judging a particular film's quality. 

I understand that many current film reviewers "grew up" watching Stuckmann. I grew up watching Gene Siskel & Roger Ebert. I also had never heard of Chris Stuckmann until the controversy over when he opted out of giving Madame Web a negative review because he understood how hard it was to make a film. This "giving negative reviews is bad" mindset has seeped into other reviewers' minds. I see many a X/Twitter post saying that we should not have Worst Movies of the Year Lists. It is unfair, so the argument goes, to all those who worked hard on the film no matter how atrocious said film turned out to be. 

I find such ideas patronizing and infantile. It is the cinematic version of awarding participation trophies. Reviewers share their views. They will not always be positive views. Siskel & Ebert were the deans of film reviewing. Every year, they had a Worst of The Year list with the express purpose of slamming films that "took two hours out of our lives". No one then ever bemoaned how awful that tradition was, or how disrespectful it was to those who work on the films. 

Siskel and Ebert knew how much work went into making a film. They also knew that it did not matter how hard someone tried. If the end result was more than bad but disastrous, they should be called out on it. Reviews should not grade on a curve. Noble intentions do not make up for a lousy product. They understood something that some current film reviewers do not understand or have forgotten. They understood that the filmmakers are adults and should be treated as such.

Moreover, these were their views. Why can't a film reviewer not say, "I hated this movie"? Are people seriously suggesting that we cannot call out a film that we ended up despising because we might hurt the filmmakers' feelings? 

Suggesting that people should compile only "Best Of" Lists suggests to me that film reviewers are expected to only praise movies. Some reviewers, I think, do just that. Almost everything that they see is "great" or "a masterpiece". I cannot take seriously a film reviewer who calls Across the Spider-Verse "one of the greatest films ever made in the history of cinema". Frankly, I think you've got to be either loony or an idiot to make such a wild assertion. Yes, it is that person's view. However, it is my view that it is nowhere near "one of the greatest films ever made in the history of cinema" and find such an assertion laughable. I trust that he was honest in his assertion. 

I also know that reviewers need to calls them as they sees them. Yet, I digress. 

At last, I have my list of my choices for the Ten Worst Films of 2025 So Far. I may update the list as I watch more 2025 films. 

Number 10: The Wedding Banquet

As of this writing, I have yet to see the 1993 original The Wedding Banquet. That film was selected for inclusion in the National Film Registry in 2023. This remake I doubt will be remembered in six months. The Wedding Banquet was, per my understanding, supposed to be a comedy. However, so much of it played like a serious drama that it ended up being at times bizarre. The film essentially had two plots rammed together. One involved a lesbian couple struggling with IVF. The other involved a Korean attempting to both stay in America and stay in the closet. The Wedding Banquet treated both with a curiously somber tone. That, in turn, made the few attempts at broad comedy look embarrassing. The performances save for Joan Chen, Youn Yuh-jung and Lily Gladstone were pretty much horrendous. Perhaps I can be a little lenient with Han Gi-chan. He is Korean who is still working his way through English. The same cannot be said of Bowen Yang, who is American and still gave an awful performance. Expect to see Yang pop up again later on down.

Number 9: Song Sung Blue

Let me start by saying that I love Neil Diamond, well, except for The Jazz Singer. The soundtrack for that fiasco at least was its sole redeeming quality. I also found Kate Hudson charming and in good form in Song Sung Blue. My issue with Song Sung Blue was its tonal shift. For the first hour or so, Song Sung Blue plays almost like a wacky comedy in its story of two dreamers who join forces professionally and romantically to be a Neil Diamond tribute act. Out of the blue (no pun intended), we get a totally wild twist that shifts Song Sung Blue into a depressing drama. Even in the early stages of this shift, we get a scene with Hugh Jackman in a hospital that still plays like cartoonish farce. The film never recovered for me. 

Number 8: Eddington

Similarly to Song Sung Blue, Eddington started out well. Its skewering of the global meltdown of 2020 was strong and wryly amusing. The combined lunacies of COVID-19 and the George Floyd "reckoning" were shown as excessive overreactions despite the sometimes well-intentioned, sometimes misguided intentions of all concerned. However, once we got past the midpoint of this almost two-and-a-half-hour film, Eddington started sinking. The film ultimately collapsed when a character was literally assassinated. It did not help that I saw Eddington after Charlie Kirk was similarly assassinated. Granted, there was no way for writer/director Ari Aster to know that a political commentator would be murdered in front of hundreds. There was no way that he would know that many people would literally be dancing in celebration. However, it was so uncomfortable for me to watch that I felt almost dirty in keeping the DVD playing. 

Number 7: Love Hurts

Love Hurts came out in February of this year; even then, I had predicted that Love Hurts would be on many Ten Worst Films of 2025 lists. Surprisingly, I do not think that prediction came completely true. Then again, I think many people simply did not bother watching Love Hurts. The movie stars two Academy Award winners: Ke Huy Quan and Ariana DeBose. The latter in particular has had a simply terrible run of films post-Oscar. The plot is incoherent. The action at times maddingly confused. The comedy nonexistent. The romance ridiculous. Love Hurts runs under 90 minutes. However, it feels like an eternity to sit through. 

Number 6: After the Hunt

As with Eddington, After the Hunt started out interesting and then slowly, painfully devolved into incoherence and self-indulgence. The topics of cancel culture and weaponizing "Me Too" are ripe for exploration. Unfortunately, what could have been a strong, contemplative drama soon started going sideways into strange areas. You had Michael Stuhlbarg, whose character I was convinced was gay despite being married to Julia Roberts' character. His prissy, passive-aggressive manner when stomping in and out of their kitchen looked like some crazed spoof. Director Luca Guadagnino moved the camera in such bizarre ways that I literally thought that the cameraman was drunk. Almost all the acting save Roberts seemed to play all this as if it were a parody. The film literally ends with Guadagnino calling out, "AND CUT!". I literally thought that I was hallucinating. After the Hunt was a totally lost opportunity.

Number 5: Jurassic World Rebirth

There is a curious movement to proclaim Jonathan Bailey the first openly gay movie star and box office draw. This movement bases its belief on how Bailey was in two of this year's biggest films: Jurassic World Rebirth and Wicked: For Good. Let me drop a truth bomb on the Bailey Believers: Jonathan Bailey is not a movie star, gay or otherwise. People went to Jurassic World Rebirth and Wicked: For Good to see giant dinosaurs and singing witches. They did not go to these films because Jonathan Bailey was the male lead in both/either of them. Jurassic World Rebirth is the seventh film in the Jurassic Park/World franchise. This movie, this franchise should not exist. Dinosaurs are boring, as is Jurassic World Rebirth. The film is really two films spliced together like the freakish mad scientist-created dinosaurs are. You have two sets of characters that could be their own film. However, they are jammed together to where you end up not caring about either set. Loud and noisy, the film is pretty much an insult to viewers' intelligence. Finally, I would like to point out that Jonathan Bailey was literally five years old when Jurassic Park was released. Jonathan Bailey was 36 years and two months old when Jurassic World Rebirth was released. Make of that what you will.

Number 4: Wicked: For Good

Jonathan Bailey and Bowen Yang make a second appearance on my Worst Films of 2025 List with the follow-up to Wicked. I am not well-versed enough in Wicked lore to know what was added for the second part of the Broadway adaptation. However, I found all the songs pretty much sounding the same. The production and costume design are still good. Everything else though was not. I am at a loss to understand why so many single out Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande as Best Lead and Supporting Actress-worthy performances. I found them lacking, with the latter coming across as a bimbo. To be fair, they were better than Michelle Yeoh, one of the most wildly miscast performers in recent memory. Wicked: For Good attempts to tie itself into the 1939 The Wizard of Oz, but if so, then Wicked: For Good does not make any sense. At over two hours, Wicked: For Good is a chore to sit through. The music was not good. The performances are not good. There is nothing good in Wicked: For Good.  

Number 3: Mickey 17

At the Mickey 17 screening that I went to, a man got up, turned to his companions and shouted, "THIS MOVIE SUCKED!". I think that pretty much sums up the experience of sitting through this "We Hate Donald Trump!" snoozefest. I continue to reject the idea that Robert Pattinson is his generation's Peter O'Toole. I think that he tried way too hard to act, with his affected thin voice meant to show the title character as a nitwit. Mickey 17 is a punishing two hours and seventeen minutes long. In that time, Mickey 17 sometimes rambles incoherently with various subplots that do not add up. The worst element in Mickey 17 however is the blatant attempt at allegory. The film wants to be a takedown of Trump, with Mark Ruffalo's character so obvious as a de facto Trump. The end result is not clever or funny. It is not even particularly mean-spirited. Instead, it is idiotic on every level. I get that Ruffalo and Mickey 17 writer/director Bong Joon Ho hate Trump. I don't like Trump. It does not change the fact that Mickey 17 cannot do allegory or comedy. Even with that, Mickey 17 just isn't good. It is not funny. It is not intelligent. It is insulting to its audience.

Number 2: Sinners

Every year, without fail, one particular film receives such lofty praise that one expects film reviewers to call it "this generation's Citizen Kane". This year, there were three claimants to that title. I thought One Battle After Another was fine. It was not among my Best or Worst Lists. I'll hold back on the second one, which is on my Ten Best Films List. However, the first film to be held as this unimpeachable masterpiece finds itself here as one of the Worst Films of 2025. Another film that was over two hours and fifteen minutes, Sinners is a silly, pretentious film. Perhaps that is why so many have convinced themselves that Sinners is this brilliant piece of filmmaking. Vampires meet bootleggers in a film that thinks it is far smarter than it actually is. One reviewer said that Jack O'Connell was "terrifying" as Remmick, the Irish vampire. I found that comment as laughable as O'Connell's performance. How exactly am I supposed to react to seeing O'Connell lead a vampire hoedown? People, too besotted by Sinners, do not seem to notice or care that our protagonists are called "Smokestack". One brother is nicknamed "Smoke", the other nicknamed "Stack". Am I the only one to find that idiotic? The I Lied to You segment, where ghosts of the past and future were summoned by Preacherboy's music, is equally laughable and self-indulgent. This, I figure, will bring major pushback from those who will insist that Sinners is this great piece of art. Well, I'll be nice and give Sinners a compliment: the music was nice.

Number 1: Him

Him is more than just misguided. It is bad, just bad on every conceivable level. Its attempts at horror are both too on-the-nose and too broad. Him is dominated by reds and blacks, attempting to create a sinister, demonic world that ends up looking self-indulgent and embarrassing to watch. Him veers between the wild overacting of Marlon Wayans and the comatose acting of Tyriq Withers. Him's only interest in the latter is in showing us Withers' beautiful body. Him also has a very strange suggestion. We are supposed to believe that Wayans' football quarterback is still able to play while he puts Withers' hotshot through a week of hellish training. Marlon Wayans is 53 years old. Tyriq Withers is 27. There is a twenty-six-year age gap between them. There is no conceivable way that Wayans, who is old enough to be Withers' father, could still be playing top-notch football. Him tries to be atmospheric and spooky. It ends up being hilarious and stupid. 

Him is the worst film of 2025. While this may be my initial list, I do not see any other film overtaking Him for this distinction.  

The Worst of 2024 So Far

I have not done a Best or Worst of Lists for some time.  I now will attempt to rectify that. 

2024, I found, was a simply terrible, terrible year. This year's Best Picture winner, Anora, was one that I found rather distasteful and rather long and boring. That does not even cover another Best Picture nominee, Emilia Perez, which I thought played like parody and whose two Oscar wins (Best Supporting Actress for Zoe Saldana and Best Original Song) to be not just among the worst of the year, but of all time. How that film earned the most Oscar nominations for 2024 at 13, coming one short of tying the record for the most Oscar-nominated films in history, is grotesque. 

It is a sign of just how awful 2024 in film was that failing to make my personal Ten Worst Films of the Year were films were such horrors as The Crow remake or The American Society of Magical Negroes, the latter which I found far more racist than what it thought it was commenting on. I thought these films were better than something like Madame Web, which I found less bad and more incompetent, veering close to a "so bad it's good" type of film. Yet, despite how awful those films were (and they were), I would rather watch them again than I would the following films which I have as my Ten Worst Films of 2024 So Far.

Number 10:
The Fall Guy

In retrospect, I think both Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt are probably better actors than I give them credit for. I recently saw Gosling in Half Nelson and Blunt has handled both comedy and drama with films as varied as The Devil Wears Prada and Oppenheimer. However, I found The Fall Guy incredibly smug and obnoxious, convinced that it was the height of hilarity when it was the height of idiocy. Scenes that ran far too long, with leads that looked as if they wanted to be anywhere but there, I continue to be amazed that The Fall Guy is so beloved by so many people. Allegedly a love letter to stuntmen and women, The Fall Guy had a convoluted plot. I also continue to believe that Gosling struggles if not is incapable of playing comedy. He is far too serious to make any kind of humor believable on screen. Maybe he is a funny guy off screen. In the few comedies that I have seen in Gosling's filmography, I am never able to shake the sense that he wants to force the comedy. It ends up having the opposite effect of making it look fake. 

Number 9:
Deadpool & Wolverine

I watched the original Deadpool in horror, finding the violence and vulgarity far too graphic and gratuitous. I get that many people, however, love the Merc with a Mouth, his snide quips and sarcastic tone a tonic to other somewhat overly serious comic book films. You do not get more serious a comic book character than Wolverine, so bringing the somber Logan and the absurd Wade together seemed like the joining of titans. I know that many people were laughing throughout Deadpool & Wolverine, but I did not even crack a smile once. At a certain point, smugness and sarcasm cannot or should not make up for not having anyone or anything to care about. Also, at 55 and 47 years old respectively, isn't it time for Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds to move on?

Number 8:
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

One of the great mysteries to me is how Ghostbusters ended up as a franchise. The original Ghostbusters was one of the first films I saw in theaters after they were allowed to reopen during the pandemic that has been essentially memory-holed. It was entertaining albeit longer than I remembered it to be. After that, I did not see any need to make more Ghostbusters films. To many other people, however, these mad scientists became so beloved that we needed more movies, a cartoon series and then an all-female version and more follow-ups. When I, very reluctantly, went to see Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire when it premiered, I looked at the grown men, who were probably in their forties and/or fifties, dressed in their Ghostbusters costumes and thought they were a sad and sorry sight. Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire is simply too stuffed with characters, unable, unwilling or uninterested in trying to be one thing. It can't integrate the original Ghostbusters cast. Worse, it can't integrate the new Ghostbusters cast. Going all over the place, Frozen Empire ends up nowhere. Finally, thanks to Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, the term "lesbian ghost sex" will forever haunt my mind (no pun intended). 

Number 7:
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

Try as I might, I cannot convince people that Henry Cavill cannot act. He is a breathtakingly beautiful man. I concede as much. However, in terms of acting, of being able to portray a character, Cavill has the acting range of a wet paper bag. In The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, Cavill showcases his total inability to act because he is speaking in his actual British accent. As such, he cannot hide behind the idea that his lack of acting ability is due to how he has to keep his mind on speaking with an American accent. Attempting to pass off a true-life story into something that makes Inglorious Basterds look like The Bridge on the River Kwai, The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is something totally deadly in a film that is meant as an action/action-comedy film. It is boring. 

Number 6:
Argylle

For the longest time, I would say about a bad film, "Well, at least it is better than Argylle". Argylle became a byword for "bad film", something so irredeemably awful, stupid, pointless and brain-killing that to make anyone watch it would constitute a crime against humanity. There is simply so much wrong with Argylle. Even good actors like Bryan Cranston, Sam Rockwell and Catherine O'Hara appear lost to where it elicits sorrow to see them here. The plot is totally nonsensical. The sight of Bryce Dallas Howard skating on oil is groan inducing. Seeing the smaller Rockwell lift her up in this pas de deux makes one question the logic of life itself. Oh yes, and Henry Cavill still can't act, his dead expression attempting to pass him off as a human and not an audio-animatronic figure. Perhaps the worst aspect of Argylle is the suggestion that not only will this be the first film of a new franchise, but that it will eventually tie itself into the Kingsman film series. Not since some brainless satanic figure thought up the idea of having the 21 Jump Street films morph into the Men in Black universe has there been such a monstrous concept. Lawrence Welk headlining Woodstock is more believable than having more Argylle films.

I held out on having Argylle be my Worst Film of 2024 for the longest time. I simply refused to believe that there could be worse films than that. Even now, I struggle with the idea that there were films worse than Argylle. However, I have to bend to reality and acknowledge there are other 2024 films that I would watch Argylle over. 

Number 5:
Venom: The Last Dance

I never understood the fandom for the Venom films. I thought the first Venom was terrible but also unfairly bashed, finding that it might just have been made for people who do not care about things like plot or acting. Venom: Let There Be Carnage was something that I found barely passable, a film that was bad but also bizarrely goofy to where I did not hate it. No such reprieve for Venom: The Last Dance, however, a jumbled mess of a movie that does not bother to try and make sense. For all the talk about the acting brilliance of Tom Hardy, I find nothing to suggest that he is his generation's Richard Burton. Burton could be hammy, but at least he had his boozing to blame for that. Hardy has no such recourse (I hope), going into The Last Dance fully aware that it goes all over the place. Incoherent, unfunny, with nothing to say, The Last Dance is hopefully true to its word.

Number 4:
Gladiator II

I never thought that Gladiator was this unimpeachable work of cinema. It was fine. It was entertaining, good popcorn fare. I still would have voted for Traffic as that year's Best Picture winner, though maybe I could be persuaded to selecting Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon as well. Still, Gladiator has many fans. I can't believe, however, that those fans thought a sequel to Gladiator was needed, especially since the title character dies in the first film. How do you have a sequel to a film whose main character is dead? Gladiator II has an easy answer: just remake the first film and tie in some characters from the first film in some misguided step at continuity (and I think I am being generous in that view). Son of Gladiator is an absolute disaster from the very opening. The plot asks us to believe that the charisma-free Paul Mescal could lead anyone to try and overthrow the Roman Empire. Gladiator II: Judgment Day has sharks floating around the Coliseum, which to my mind is probably one of the more logical things in Gladiator II: Electric Boogaloo. Denzel Washington is hamming it up for all its worth, but at least he was doing something. Everyone else in Gladiator II: Freddy's Revenge was just embarrassing him/herself. There has been talk of a Gladiator III. We as a nation have already suffered enough.

Number 3:
Monkey Man

There is a danger to high praise in that it makes one believe that his/her work is actually good when it is anything but. Such is the case with Monkey Man, a film beloved by critics and held as some kind of new John Wick. To be fair, I have seen only John Wick: Chapter 4, but Monkey Man is anything but a new John Wick. An idiotic plot that is more interested in attempting a visual style that ends up chaotic. A film that thinks it is blending high action with strong social commentary. Monkey Man is moronic. I thought that it was better than Argylle, but in retrospect at least Argylle was not as punishingly ugly visually as Monkey Man was. Written, directed and starring Dev Patel, Monkey Man is not an homage to or inspired by John Wick. It is a vanity project for Dev Patel.

The Numbers Two and One Worst Films of 2024 can go either way, as I found them both rather grotesque and abominations to cinema. I have gone back and forth between them, but now, I think I am ready to decide.

Number 2:
Joker: Folie a Deux

My cousin travels for his job. He told me that on one of his trips, he went to Joker: Folie a Deux and left angry. First, he did not know that it was a musical. Second, he found Folie a Deux so traumatizing an experience that he did not go to another movie the rest of his business trip, worried that he would find something equal to if not worse than Joker: Folie a Deux. The first Joker film made my Ten Best Films of the Year, a film that went past its comic book origins to profile a troubled and self-destructive man. I do not know if Joker: Folie a Deux would ever have reached those lofty heights even if it was crafted as a faux-musical. It is not a real musical in that Folie a Deux just uses pop songs and has the characters perform them. Far too long, too convoluted, and too openly hostile to the audience, Joker: Folie a Deux did not subvert expectations, unless one expected a good movie. 

Number 1:
Emilia Perez

Thirteen Oscar nominations. Emilia Perez, the single worst film of 2024, received thirteen Oscar nominations, the most for a foreign language film and one short of the record currently held and shared by All About Eve, Titanic and La La Land. Unless there is a massive number Academy members who have had lobotomies recently, no sane person would look at Emilia Perez as anything other than what it is: a massive pile of shit. The story of a fearsome Mexican drug lord who has a sex-change operation and then attempts to force him/herself back into the life of his/her wife and kids via a self-righteous female lawyer is already idiotic. That it is an alleged musical makes it more laughable. That should be the reaction to Emilia Perez: laughter, but not the good laughter. You laugh at Selena Gomez's struggles with Spanish, as the film never makes clear whether her character is a native Mexican or a Mexican American. You laugh at the songs. Gomez's big number, Bienvenida, has her thrashing about a bed looking like she is having an epileptic seizure. The song El Mal performed by Saldana (which were the film's sole Oscar wins) is equally laughable, with bad lyrics and a cartoonishly idiotic dance routine by Saldana. The film's title character, played by Karla Sofia Gascon, also attempted to sing in El Mal, but it was horrendous. What is the film's message: that becoming a woman makes you a better person? Forget the misery that Emilia's previous life as drug lord "Manitas" (which translates to "Little Hands") created for everyone, from those he had killed to his vaguely American, vaguely Mexican wife and kids. Forget the horrendously staged musical numbers. Forget the lack of acting performances that would make Henry Cavill look like Alec Guinness by comparison. Emilia Perez plays like parody, like some kind of joke that no one outside Cinema Intelligentsia would take seriously. Emilia Perez will be forgotten within a year or be shown as punishment. Both El Mal and Zoe Saldana will go down as among the worst wins in their respective categories. 

Emilia Perez is the worst film of 2024. It is also one of the worst films ever made. It manages to make Argylle look like Goldfinger by comparison. Emilia Perez is so bad that yes, I would wish it on my worst enemy, on a permanent loop, for time and eternity. 

The Worst of 2019 So Far

Having already covered my Ten Best of 2019 (sorry, Jacob Airey, but despite it being a turning point in cinematic history Avengers: Endgame somehow missed the cut), it is time to look at what I think are the worst films of this past year. Curiously, 2019 had three films that I so thoroughly detested I gave an F- to.

With that, let us begin.

NUMBER 10: Isn't It Romantic

Rebel Wilson makes her first appearance on our dishonorable list with this faux-female empowerment film that allegedly is a spoof of romantic comedy tropes. Isn't It Romantic is nowhere near as clever as it thinks it is. It mistakes stupidity for wit, is poorly acted and gives us a horrid lead character that it insist we love. One can make a satire of rom-coms but Isn't It Romantic has such a nasty streak and endless leaps of logic that you want her to fail.

NUMBER 09: Serenity

Anne Hathaway makes her first appearance on our dishonorable list with this nonsensical pseudo-noir. Serenity is poorly acted, as if the cast had some kind of secret bet as to who could embarrass him/herself more. After achieving something of a cinematic redemption, Matthew McConaughey decided to revert to form and emphasize his physical beauty over his acting skills. Hathaway decided to do a parody of a femme fatale, and I think I'm being generous. Serenity is already terrible due to its thoroughly illogical plot, but by opting to use serious issues to mask its stupidity it makes an already terrible film even worse.

NUMBER 08: The Hustle

Rebel Wilson and Anne Hathaway make their second appearance on our dishonorable list, joining forces in an unholy, almost Satanic alliance of inflicting human misery on the unfortunate soul who stumbles onto The Hustle. Another faux-female empowerment film, The Hustle is a gender-swapped remake of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Unfortunately, its emphasis on "girl power" ended up making the females look stupid in the end. It was a competition as to who could be less funny in what I figure was intended to be a comedy, but the clear winner is Hathaway. Her "British" accent was so obviously fake that I'm genuinely amazed that no one involved in the production, not even the catering company, told her to stop even trying. Another film that is neither empowering or funny, The Hustle is proof that misandry is just as awful as misogyny.

NUMBER 07: Honey Boy

This is probably the one where I expect pushback, as many think highly of Honey Boy. My issues with Honey Boy, however, are myriad. First, we all know it is essentially Shia LaBeouf: His True Story, which does not appeal to me. Seeing LaBeouf act out his life to me is not liberating but slightly creepy to egocentric. It doesn't help that I think he was deliberately, overtly "actory" in his performance. Second, even its defenders I think would agree that the "present-day" setting is the weakest part. It does not help that poor Lucas Hedges is again playing "troubled young man". Seriously, somebody should hire Hedges for a romantic comedy or at least some kind of Adam Sandler-like film (not Uncut Gems). The "Hedges as Troubled Young Man" shtick is old. Apart from Noah Jupe, I was thoroughly unimpressed with Shai LaBeouf's exercise in therapy.

NUMBER 06: 21 Bridges

A last-minute entry onto my Ten Worst List, 21 Bridges is simultaneously boring and bloody, a remarkable feat indeed albeit for all the wrong reasons. The film squanders fine actors, particularly Chadwick Boseman, who looked bored throughout. 21 Bridges is dreadfully acted, indulgent in almost graphic violence and idiotically predictable one can be falling asleep while watching various police officers get blown away left right and center.

NUMBER 05: Cats

Rebel Wilson makes her third and final appearance on our dishonorable list in this oddball hairball of a film. Unlike other critics, I think well of Cats the musical, but there is no excuse for Cats the film. Attempting to ram a plot into what is essentially a revue was one of its many, many bad decisions. Casting everyone they did was another. Add to that ghastly CGI work, which to be fair had to be done in a hurry to attempt and try get Cats major award consideration. The performances are almost without exception cringe-inducing, and dear God the Dancing Cockroaches!

NUMBER 04: The Goldfinch

Ah, another film with lofty aspirations. The Goldfinch was set to be this major adaptation of a popular albeit divisive novel, a posh production that would have awards tossed in its direction. Instead, The Goldfinch ended up as one of the biggest bombs of 2019, a slow, dull, pretentious production, loaded by awful performances all around. It shouldn't be a surprise that The Goldfinch's lead, Ansel Elgort, would be terrible (his continued film career being one of the great unsolved mysteries of the age). However, The Goldfinch managed to humiliate good actors like Jeffrey Wright, Nicole Kidman, Luke Wilson and Sarah Paulson. Stilted and lethargic, The Goldfinch made you wish the lead character had been killed in the bombing. It would have spared us twenty hours of absolute misery.

NUMBER 03: Phil

A film so awful that I think it might not have even gotten a real release, Phil (originally titled The Philosophy of Phil) is a dead thing, a comedy that is not funny and a drama that is not dramatic. Phil, the directorial debut of its star, the likable Greg Kinnear, is painful to sit through. It plays like a failed TV pilot, with its whole plot depending on the abject stupidity of every character. What makes it worse is that it genuinely thinks it's insightful, saying something about living life. Trading in awful Greek stereotypes that even Nia Vardalos would think are over-the-top, I feel almost bad bashing Phil given I doubt anyone even knows it exists. That is as it should be, because Phil is just beyond awful.

That means that it's really sad that I found two films even worse than Phil, one a major release, one a minor one.

NUMBER 02: Terminator: Dark Fate

Terminator: Dark Fate is the worst of all worlds. It thinks, like Isn't It Romantic and The Hustle, that is is a female-empowerment film by casting two females in leading roles, with the bonus of being more progressive by casting two Hispanics. Whatever the acting abilities of Natalia Reyes, Mackenzie Davis or Gabriel Luna, Terminator: Dark Fate is a horrid, horrid film. It demolishes established Terminator canon to essentially be a remake of both The Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Every performance save perhaps Linda Hamilton is as robotic as anything Skynet or Legion or whatever machine is attempting to overthrow humanity now. Terminator: Dark Fate is so wildly, almost hilariously misguided, but nothing justifies this naked cash-grab, let alone suggestions to continue a franchise long dead.

NUMBER 01: The Fanatic

Sadly, for the second year in a row, John Travolta appears on my Number One Worst Film of the Year. Travolta is a genuinely talented actor, so why does he keep agreeing to be in such rubbish as last year's Gotti and now this year's The Fanatic? This is simply the ugliest film I have ever seen, perhaps outdoing Freddy Got Fingered for being pure trash. Allegedly an exploration of toxic fandom, The Fanatic is just painful to watch or even remember. I felt genuine sorrow for Travolta and Devon Sawa in finding themselves under the watchful eye and script of Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst. Travolta's character of Moose is clearly insane, but Durst opts to make him autistic, vaguely suggesting the two are linked. Sadistic, nonsensical and cruel, not to mention stupid and repulsive, The Fanatic is more than a crime against cinema. It's a crime against humanity.

Next time, my Odds and Bitter Ends.

The Worst of 2018 So Far

As in last time, this is more a "Worst Films of 2018 that I have Seen" list than a list of the worst films of 2018 overall. Some notorious flops were skipped by me, either because they didn't come to El Paso or because I just didn't get around to them.

Sorry, A.X.L.

Some films on this list will shock you, as they have appeared on many Best Of 2018 Lists and are held in high regard. I do urge you to read my case before getting on my case.

Number 10:
Robin Hood

Robin Hood is an embarrassment through and through. It tries to be so much and ends up being nothing.

It is another failed franchise starter, another bane of my cinematic experience. The original title was Robin Hood: Origins, which should give you an idea of where the filmmakers wanted to take this unjolly route through a Sherwood Forest Cinematic Universe. It altered the legend into total nonsense to do so.

Seriously, making Will Scarlet into the new Sheriff of Nottingham?

It tried to be hip and hep with today's Millennial audience by going all Antifa and politically aware when it ended up coming across like Representative Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez trying to form a coherent argument on, well, anything. Putting aside the muddled pleas to be 'of the times' with its misguided virtue-signalling, Robin Hood also made the dunderheaded decision to be 'contemporary' in its costumes and sets, making the whole thing more ridiculous.

Above all else, it was simply boring, with lousy performances all around. I like Taron Egerton, but he is not giving Errol Flynn a run for his money. He doesn't even give Kevin Costner a run for his money.

Number 9:
Red Sparrow

Red Sparrow may have been a good book, but it's a lousy film.

Red Sparrow has a whiff of franchise starter too, in this rather sordid tale of our Russian spy-ette in training. It’s not a surprise given that there are two more novels based on our sour Domenika, but Red Sparrow has killed off any chance for more features.

The selling point for Red Sparrow was that Jennifer Lawrence would do her very first nude scenes on film. Up to this point, she’d managed to keep her clothes on, a point referenced in Seth MacFarlane’s awful We Saw Your Boobs opening Oscar song. Now she was going to bare all, but what she didn’t bare was an actual performance.

My mom has much better and succinct reviews for films. For Red Sparrow, she said, “She’s beaten up a lot”, and that seems to cover it all. It had bored performances and far too many stabs at twists that almost never paid off.

Number 8:
Papillon

Papillon is not really a ‘terrible’ film, but it is a rather boring one. For the second year in a row, Charlie Hunnam finds himself on my Ten Worst List, which is making me think that outside Sons of Anarchy and a good body he really doesn’t have much to offer.

For all the talk of Remi Malek as a Best Actor contender for Bohemian Rhapsody he seems to match Hunnam in bad acting. Granted, I never saw the Steve McQueen/Dustin Hoffman original, but this Papillon never made a case as to why I should care about our lead, let alone why the original film should be supplanted by this one.

Number 7:
Isle of Dogs

Now here me out.

I know many thought highly of Isle of Dogs, whether just based on the animation or whatever subtext about immigration they read in the film. I think the animation is quite good. I just found the story rather dull. Isle of Dogs is not a film I would willingly sit through again, which is one of the points of consideration when I make a list.

Again, it is not terrible, but this film is not for me. And that’s before I even get into things like ‘cultural appropriation’ and ‘white savior complex’ which plague the film. I just found it far too self-consciously cutesy for my tastes.

Number 6:
Sorry To Bother You

Again, I find myself defending an unpopular position.

Sorry to Bother You was held up as this monumental work, a wild film of social justice and satire. I wasn’t laughing.

I saw some really clever moments in it, such as when our hapless hero literally falls into people’s homes when ‘bothering’ them with his phone calls. However, the social messaging was one I thought was wildly overboard, and that’s before this variation on Bamboozled turned into The Island of Doctor Moreau. 

Sorry to Bother You is so overt in its messaging that even before the whole thing went bonkers with its equestrian escapades, I felt perpetually beaten by its efforts to be insightful that came across as silly at best. Yes, many loved it, but I couldn't.

Number 5:
Avengers: Infinity War

I’m at it again, being a hater on a film that like the almost Satanic A Star is Born 4.0, is held as some turning point in both cinema and human history.

I however cannot get emotional about characters who I know are coming back. Perhaps it is because I endured endless seasons of ‘EVERYBODY LIVES’ on Doctor Who, but the whole ‘see beloved characters die’ trope has worn thin with me. As I know most if not all of our characters are coming back, why would I be blubbering about them disappearing?

Moreover, this All-Star Special of the world’s longest and most expensive soap opera has finally reached saturation point with me. I find that these characters really, really annoy me. Tom Holland’s Peter Parker is now a joke: this perpetually stupid kid who seems totally clueless about everything. Seriously, how is this Peter Parker anything close to a genius when he keeps reminding me of Nigel Bruce’s Doctor Watson (a character so stupid he wouldn’t be able to find his way out of a room if all the doors and windows were open)?

I'm told there was a greater effort for comedy in Infinity War. I think they went wildly overboard in their efforts.

I genuinely do not care about Endgame, or the Marvel Cinematic Universe, anymore. I didn’t care all that much then, as I didn’t grow up reading comics nor would I spend days in a theater for a ‘marathon’ of the MCU.

If people enjoyed it, fine. Let those of us who didn’t move along.

Number 4:
The Death of Stalin

Yep, I’m in trouble now.

After trashing three films beloved by critics and audiences, now I find myself going after the Big One, a film that many (especially my loyal followers) loved. So, why did I put The Death of Stalin on my Ten Worst List, and relatively high to boot?

Simple. While I respect what the film was going for, I found it all much too broad for my taste. I still remember one scene where Steve Buscemi’s Khrushchev says out loud, “Your father’s dead and your brother is shooting a gun”. Somehow, I don’t need to be reminded so often, “THIS IS A COMEDY!” I like to laugh naturally, not be told to laugh.

Again, I get what they were going for, it just didn't appeal to me.

Number 3:
The Spy Who Dumped Me

This is the worst type of comedy. It isn’t just that it’s unoriginal (though it’s unoriginal). It isn’t just that it’s almost sadistic (though it’s sadistic). It isn’t just that it misuses people both with talent (Justin Theroux) and people of questionable talent (Mila Kunis). It isn’t just that it misuses someone who is somewhere in the middle of Theroux or Kunis (Kate McKinnon).

It’s that it just isn’t funny. I wanted the Kunis and McKinnon characters to die. I wanted them to die horrible, slow, agonizing deaths. I wanted them tortured and then tortured some more. I wouldn’t have objected if they tortured their corpses.

I am appalled at how awful The Spy Who Dumped Me was, and worse, that I found two films I found more painful to sit through.

Number 2:
Life Itself

Smug does not cover how pretentious Life Itself is. This is the type of film that thinks it’s simultaneously highly intellectual and moving.  

Cue a Representative Ocasio-Cortez joke again, because this movie is incoherent, pompous, pseudo-intellectual and wildly misguided in its sentiment. Intended to be heartwarming and life-affirming, Life Itself is the complete opposite, especially given how often parents spanning generations and continents bite the dust in the film, mostly in rather grisly ways. You have cancer, suicide and literally getting under a bus. 

Essentially, Life Itself can be summed up as "the emotional Crash", where all these disparate people and events are tied together unbelieveable ways. They're also apparently tied in to Bob Dylan's Time Out of Mind album.

Above all else, one cannot forgive how Life Itself made one almost hate one of the best albums ever.

Number 1:
Gotti

At least to their credit, all these other films at least had the semblance of movies. Gotti did not.

It was already bad enough that it looked cheap, but it is wildly jumbled both in terms of message and even setting.

What possessed anyone to let E (aka Kevin Connolly from Entourage), a man with limited directing experience, to be at the helm of something as ‘big’ and ‘important’ as this biopic of the notorious ‘Teflon Don’?

Some of E’s decisions are mindbogglingly bizarre. It’s bad enough he’s ripping off Goodfellas left right and center, but when he does so, why did he opt for the Pet Shop Boys’ West End Girls to accompany an attempted hit on Gotti via a car bomb.

Hey, I love PSB, but this choice was…curious, at best.

Above all else that went so wildly wrong with Gotti (the cheap sets, jumbled story, bad performances, anachronistic music thanks to Pitbull’s overinflated ego), the worst was that Gotti gloried our Mafioso to where I’m genuinely surprised it didn’t read “A Cosa Nostra Production”.

Goodfellas, in its craftsmanship, made no bones about showing how ugly and monstrous these people were. Gotti, conversely, seems to have been made by Gotti fans or family attempting to portray our murderous crime boss as basically a good guy with few if any flaws. It’s almost grotesque to see how celebrated John Gotti was in Gotti.

That is the element that pushed it down even more, though yes, the awfulness of the whole film apart from its laudatory manner toward its subject matter would have been enough to make Gotti the Worst Film of 2018 So Far.

Next time, some Odds and Bitter Ends.

The Worst of 2009 So Far

In my continuing quest to organize this site, I have revisited the various postings to see whether any have been left uncatalogued. Given I've written close to 1,100 reviews along with various opinion pieces, it is not surprising that some posts were missed when placed in the archive.

I have now finally completed all the reviews for films released or seen in 2009, and while I did write a Best of 2009 post, I never wrote a Worst of 2009.  Now, at last, having officially cataloged all of those 2009 films that I have seen so far, I am at last ready to rank the ones I thought were the worst.

There may be some surprises here, as some critically acclaimed films found their way onto this list. Let us therefore begin.

10.) 2012

2012 was cashing in on the fabled Mayan 'prediction' of the end of the world in the year 2012, if man is still alive.  It was all sound and fury, badly acted and with some simply bonkers visuals that really didn't make up for just how dumb it all was.  However, given that 2012 was pretty much meant to be junk, I figure I can be merciful.

09.) Watchmen

I think I can be harsher towards Watchmen, the first film I reviewed, because it thought so highly of itself.  The greatest issue with Watchmen is that it was simply too slavish to the graphic novel on which it is based on, leading to some flat-out hilarious moments such as the 'love scene' between Silk Specter and Nite Owl, which might be how the novel had it but which translates into a comical moment.  Pompous, pretentious, and at times baffling, especially to those who have never read or heard of the graphic novel, I again can be a little more kind given that for some reason Watchmen was marketed as being perhaps a new franchise.

08.) Obsessed

Obsessed is, as far as I know, Beyoncé's only real stab at being her generation's Diana Ross in terms of attempting a dramatic film career. Bey's efforts to be seen as a dramatic actress versus just a pop super-diva/icon, however, fell flatter than the crazed woman who plunged to her death.  It's comically bad, but so bad that it can't even be enjoyed as camp.  Filled with totally stupid characters, and dragging poor Idris Elba into this mountain of nonsense, Obsessed is good only as a reminder that Beyoncé's great acting ambitions have not been fulfilled. Outside of music videos, she has yet to return to the screen.

07.) Public Enemies

My only real memories of Public Enemies was on how good the Sweet Tarts that I was popping while watching the movie were.  That and how boring it all was.  It's a shame given that the subject matter of John Dillinger and the FBI agent who pursues him could have been.  However, by the end when Dillinger is at the Biograph Theater, I was more interested in the clips of Manhattan Melodrama that were playing than in this snoozefest, another in the "Loss" column for Johnny Depp.

06.) New Moon

Perhaps it is too easy to pick on a Twilight film as being among the worst, given that the whole series, or rather 'saga', is unbearably awful. I think it would be difficult to find which of the Twilight films is the worst because all of them are a crime against cinema, maybe even humanity.  In retrospect though, I think New Moon may actually be the worst, because somehow we got a bizarre 'rationalization' for domestic abuse: the guy is a werewolf.  It's simply too punishing to revisit this horror, so let's move on.

05.) X-Men Origins: Wolverine

I confess to not liking Logan, despite its wild critical acclaim.  I felt it all too dour, too morose, and I don't go to X-Men films to leave so depressed.  However, even if I were to place Logan in a 'Worst of 2017' List, I would still prefer it over X-Men Origins: Wolverine.  This not only has to be the worst Wolverine film of the six that have him play a major role (I'm not counting cameos), but perhaps the worst in the X-Men franchise.  I guess that means X-Men: The Last Stand can't blame it all on Logan. Cliched story, bad performances, a waste of Deadpool (which makes continuity with the revived series a bit curious), this disaster was so great that there were no other X-Men Origins films for any other characters.

04.) Law Abiding Citizen

I understand that Gerard Butler is actually a highly intelligent man, down to having a law degree.  One wouldn't believe it after seeing Law Abiding Citizen, a movie that defies logic and even good taste.  We are asked to sympathize with Butler's character, but he's flat-out crazy, enacting his own brand of justice on people who at times seem tenuously connected to the original crime that he was a victim of.  I get where the film wants to go, but it ends up going nowhere. The story makes no sense on so many levels; if memory serves correct, Butler's character defends himself in court and after essentially admitting to killing two people, he's allowed to walk out without bail because of some random legal technicality. Ugly, excessively violent with awful characters matching awful performances, why so many genuinely like Law Abiding Citizen is something I do not understand.

03.) Terminator: Salvation

I have seen all the Terminator films save Rise of the Machines, but that might be that to my mind, Rise of the Machines is when the franchise started going downhill. I cannot prove that yet, but I can say that the Terminator films that followed Rise of the Machines have all been pretty bad.  Terminator: Salvation is more Terminator: Abomination.  It abused its actors (what exactly was Jane Alexander doing in this rubbish), and it had its actors abuse others (the film became notorious for a rant its star, Christian Bale, unleashed that was recorded and released). Apart from the much-missed Anton Yelchin (gone way too soon), no one came out of this horror with any degree of dignity. Of course, thanks to Terminator: Salvation, we'll always have this...

02.) Up in the Air

Here is a film that was praised to high heaven, but one I could not embrace.  It is not that I didn't 'get' what Up in the Air wanted to say: the importance of connections in a world where making connections means more catching a flight than feeling for others.  I 'get' it.  I just didn't 'like' it. I found it all smarmy, unpleasant, and not at all funny.  Moreover, I do not understand the hold Anna Kendrick has on people.  I find her neither cute or adorable or even generally competent, but to each his/her own.

01.) A Serious Man

It may be because I found Larry Gopnick, the object of A Serious Man, to be such a schmuck that I could not emphasize or sympathize with him or his various 'crises of faith'.  I found him so pathetic, such a nudnik that I simply did not care what happened to him. Again, A Serious Man was worshiped by my fellow critics, but why did they rally so much to this yutz's story? He was a wimp through and through, and I figured if he stopped being such a nebbish he could have fixed his life.  I'm sure many thought it was hilarious, and maybe I'm too much of a goy to get the humor, but A Serious Man was a serious waste of my time.

Well, there it is: my Ten Worst Films of 2009 So Far.  And just for the fun of it...